Note To Readers: My given name is Deidra. That is the name I will be using in these stories. Please call me Aspen if you want to talk to me IRL. I do not want anyone to call me this name, but I do not want to taint Aspen with these stories either

Warnings: Emotional pain, adandonment, bad thoughts and feelings, fear, panic attack

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My body hurt. Not in a pain way, but in the kind of way when you're recovery from an injury and you feel like crap but you know you're getting better. A part of my brain said that I was healing and that was good and soon I'd be okay... But when had I been so hurt that it required such a  healing process?

I rolled onto my back and opened my eyes. But nothing changed. Had I opened my eyes? I blinked. I felt my eyelids close and then open. I felt it, and that is the only reason I knew that my eyes were moving.

So that meant that wherever I was, it was completely dark. There were no shadows. No shapes. Just thick and complete darkness. The kind of darkness that forced itself into your throat and eyes and suffocated you. It held the kind of silence that stuffed your ears and left a dull ringing behind. I was scared and I looked around, but there was no distinct shape or tell or anything. I didn't know where I was or what was around me. I reached out but my arms were stopped, a pain flaming through my shoulders and hands from my wrist as something tugged, my pain causing me to pull my arms back to safety. I gasped, eyes watering. Was I tied down? I gently maneuvered my fingers, trying not to pull again but trying to feel around my wrists. Cold and hard. Metal. I was chained? My fingers brushed my wrists and I hissed. They were raw.

My knees shook as panic started to rising in my chest but I shoved it deep down. No. I wouldn't give in. I would find a way out. One way or another.

"Hello?" I called. No answer. Not even an echo. It made me feel claustrophobic and even though I heard nothing, it seemed like the walls were wide and far away but that they were closing in on me. Fast. And soon I would be dead.

Even worse, there was a dread in the back of my mind. This darkness was so deep and so complete because it was hiding something. Something vicious and dangerous and Evil that was out for my blood. For my death. A slow, painful kind of death.

My breaths came faster. "Hello?" There was growing fear pulsing in my tone and my words were choppy and broken off by my panic. "Hello?" That time it was almost hysterical.

Suddenly, there was a light. Small and faded, just a point, but it was such a stark difference from the darkness I'd grown used to, I hissed and slammed my eyes closed. Slowly I let myself open my eyes further and further, trying to see the source of the light. The growing light, as I now noticed. "Hello?" I croaked.

"Dee?" I felt cool tears of pure relief flow as I looked up and saw the face of an angel. He was here. I knew this face. This voice. I grinned. "What happened to you?" I realized that I was basked in grayish light. I was just far enough from him - and his glow that seemed to be sourced from no where - that though I was in light, it was the kind of faded light that insinuated distance. Though, he wasn't far enough for that dimness to be around me, when he seemed so bright. Just behind me the light dropped into that complete blackness again where no shapes or figures could be made out. It was all so far from reality. She was just out of reach, glowing in golden light, but I was in faded light that was dim and sickly. And behind me, that dooming, endless, suffocating and complete blackness. 

Looking down at myself, I realized that I was bruised and bloodied. I wore a yellowed, dingy dress that seemed more sheet than clothing. My hair was messy and frizzy and caked in mud. I was sitting in black water. Or at least I thought it was water. It felt like water, but the liquid was so dark it seemed liquid charcoal. On my skin though, there was no mark of the cinders and ash color the water showed. The kind of blackness that was complete and dooming, as the one behind me.

"I don't know," I croaked, emotional. I looked up. He moved a foot closer and I heard the clinking of keys. My wrists - which I'd also noticed were just as raw as I'd thought but much more red and seriously, horribly bruised than I thought it would have been - pulled as I tried to get to him. I sighed and sat back, showing him my chains. My eyes fell on the keys around his belt and hope burst into my chest. I didn't know how I knew but I knew that those keys would fit my chains. He could let me out. There were three keys. The middle one would work. Heck, any of them would work. "Help me?" I asked. "Will you let me out, daddy?" My eyes were wide and I was relaxed. "I want to come home."

He smiled. "Of course, Sweetheart. There's a nice warm shower and new clothes and a big, warm bed waiting for you. At home. Your home. You know you've always had a home with me."

"I know," I whispered. He nodded and went to take a step forward, but froze. The light, which had been following him so easily before was now stopped where he'd stood before he'd taken that step closer to me. "Dad?" I asked. "It's not that far away, Dad. It'll be really fast. Just run to me and come unlock me and then we can go home. And I can be safe and happy and have that warm bath. Right? I'm really tired dad, please."

"I..." He looked at me, seemed to debate, and then stepped back. I was so shocked I couldn't speak. "I'm sorry, Dee. I can't leave the light. They warned me. I can't leave it."

"Wh-what?" I choked out.

He shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry Dee." And then, with a cold expression, he turned and began walking away. I stood by some subconscious act, pulling my chains as far as I could to reach him.

"DAD!" I screamed, my voice broke with hysterics. Fear was rising again. "DADDY PLEASE! PLEASE IT'LL COME FOR ME! ANY SECOND IT'LL BE HERE!"

He paused, but didn't turn back. "What will?" He asked, turning his head just a bit.

"IT, dad," I insisted urgently. "The Thing. The Beast. The Danger."

His fists clenched. He knew. He knew what I was talking about. "Then I have to go. I have to go or It will get me too."

"You're going to LEAVE ME HERE?" I demanded. He didn't say anything. He just kept walking. "DAD!" Nothing. "DAD!" Still nothing. "DADDY!" More nothing. "DADDY PLEASE!" Continued nothing. I exploded, going into wild hysterics. "DAD PLEASE PLEASE DADDY OH MY GOD HEY PLEASE DAD DAD DAD DADADADADADADAD! HOLY FUCK DON'T LEAVE ME!"

No matter how much I yelled or how hard I tried, he kept walking. And soon - far, far too soon - he was gone altogether.

That thick darkness had swallowed me again and I was breathing so hard that my chest hurt. My heart was racing so fast and ramming against my chest so hard my ribs burned. "Dad... Dad... Please... Come back..."

My breath stuck in my throat and I slowly turned as I felt warm breath from behind me. Warm breath that came from such a huge beast it moved my hair and covered my entire back. I turned and came face to face with huge, pulsing red eyes and teeth that seemed to glow. There was a low growl.

All I could do was scream. Scream so loud and hard that my throat was instantly raw and the hysterical noise was bubbly, wet, and half broken. The scream didn't waver for a very long time. Until the Thing roared. Pure and unadulterated terror like I had never before experienced filled me. Until that's all I was. Fear. Anxiety. I was nothing but the emotion this Thing caused me.

And then those jaws snapped closed around me and I was nothing at all.

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Closing Note: this is something I wrote to explain something that happened between me and my parents. It's not actually a dream and no, it obviously did not happen. But this is definitely a Perfect way to start this book. I hope you enjoy it, if you read it at all. *shrug*

                 - Aspen