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We started walking back Maza's way, though I refused to ever acknowledge that we were going to Maza. In my mind we were heading to Molly and her kids. And that was all.

We had barely made it to midday when the wheelbarrow finally fell from my grasp. My shoulder had been screaming for the last hour. I took a tumble over it and got a few bruises, but nothing serious.

Tell that to Thann.

I might as well have jumped from a plane without a parachute.

He dropped my boxes and ran to pick me up from the fall. "El? Hurt?"

I instinctively bent into him and nodded. "Shoulder. My shoulder hurts. I don't think I can carry the wheelbarrow anymore with my arm like this."

I was sure an ice pack would be better for muscle pain like mine, but heat would help my sanity, so I grabbed his hand and placed it over the shirt at my shoulder.

"Help. Hand, stay," I told him and he rubbed softly as I bit my lip. "That's okay," I nodded, eyes closing in hurt.

After a few minutes of his warmth, I got up and took another ibuprofen. But as I downed it, I knew the wheelbarrow was toast. I broke the nails out of the handle and crunched half of the vines to hold the items in. It was fixable, but I knew it wouldn't matter. With my jacked up shoulder, I couldn't hold it anymore anyway.

So, I pick and chose what to keep from my tools and said goodbye to the rest, like I said goodbye to my truck. Goodbye hammer. Goodbye handsaw, shovel, and screwdrivers. I think I can make do without you.

Thann put my sleeping bag in his basket, and I carried my thermal cooker with my good arm. My left shoulder was bound to get tired with carrying both the rifle and cooker, but I was not leaving my cooker.

I moved most of the things from my purse to my pouch and abandoned it and Jia's bags. My second change of clothes and a few other supplies were already in the second bin, but I feared that maybe coming back to get my supplies was a stupid idea.

If I couldn't carry them, should we have really trekked a whole week out of our way? Molly and the other ladies were probably fairing just fine without Earth stuff.

Maybe I didn't need mine either.

With the lack of extra weight on my arms, we were able to move faster than before. Scratch that. I was able to move faster. Thann was still going strong at whatever tempo my walk was at.

When dusk was moving in, Thann's ears perked and he stopped us.

"What is..." was all I got out, before one of his hands held up to quiet me.

He slowly put down my bins and rolled the basket off his back, so I followed suit and put down my cooker and readied my rifle.

"Come," he whispered and stepped through the underbrush like a ghost.

Every step of mine crunched some leaf or twig, but he didn't complain, he just inched us forward through the forest.

He had guided us about fifty yards away and peered around one tall evergreen tree. He caught my eye and signed. Meat. El kill. He then pointed around the tree.

I made a hesitant face.

He was hoping that I'd shoot something for dinner, but my aim was not up for the count anymore.

However, I guess I'd have to relearn sometime. I nodded my understanding and peeked around at the animal.

There was a large antelope deer thing nibbling grass, some hundred feet away. He was tall and had wide antlers like an elk, with a small head and pointy cheeks, but a long thin neck. Vertical stripes of wide brown and red crossed his torso and he wasn't paying me any attention.

It would have been an easy shot for me last week, but with my shoulder all I could do was hope.

Lifting my rifle, I set my sight and timed my breaths.

I pulled the trigger.

33 BULLETS

The recoil of the gun blasted into my shoulder and I cried out in pain, knocking myself nearly to the ground.

Thann caught me before I hit and lowered me to my knees. "El! Hurt!"

I was holding my good hand over my shoulder and cringing away the pain. Speaking through clenched teeth and watering eyes, I looked up to Thann. "I'm fine. But the shot wasn't true. I hit his thigh. No kill. Thann go. You have to go hunt him."

His eyes flicked to the spot the antelope ran from. "El hurt."

"I'm okay. Thann go kill meat."

He was still hesitant.

"Go!" I wouldn't have the animal suffer.

He nodded and took off, immediately disappearing into silence.

When he was gone, I took some long deep breaths, trying to get a hold on my pain. I just needed to work through it. It would be fine in a minute.

After a few minutes, I was feeling better. I worked through the stiffness in my shoulder, trying to roll it out and Thann appeared back at my side.

But I jolted because he was in wolf form. "Thann!" I hollered, not prepared for a giant wolf to be hovering over me.

His wolf eyes widened and he dropped the antelope from his teeth and took off in shame.

"Wait!" I cried and followed after. "Thann!"

He was nearly gone in four steps and I tried to catch up. I put all the power I could behind my words. "Stop! Come back here!"

And he halted like he hit bricks.

He stopped and turned his head back to me, but he was already too far for me to see his facial expression.

Then in the biggest surprise of all, he started trotting back to me.

When he came upon me, his eyes were lowered in concern and watching my every move. His muscles twitched like he wanted to bail at any moment.

"It's okay," I soothed. "Thanks for coming back."

I grinned wide and took his form in. Dark grey with black patches, silvers threaded between glimmering in the sunlight. "You are beautiful," I told him sincerely.

Biting my lip, I held a hand out. "May I touch you?"

His head retreated from my hand, but his legs didn't move, much like his paws were stuck with glue.

I put my hand down. "I'm not afraid of you." El no scared werewolf.

The wolf's eyes slitted as if trying to sense the lie.

But in another moment, his muscles softened and he bowed his head before me.

A wide beam developed over my face. "I'm taking that as I can touch you Thann." And raised my hand to the hair between his ears.

Just his eyes shot up to me, and I began stroking his fur, feeling the softness between my fingers like tufts of silk. I slid up over his ears and scratched around the base like my dog used to like.

He must have liked it too because his head bent slightly to my direction. It made me giggle and his head lifted, making us nearly eye to eye.

"Your wolf is amazing." I moved my hand down around his neck and torso and felt the coarse fur there. It was thick and full like a perfect coat for winter.

I went clear around his other side and then crouched to get a look at his front paws. They were as wide as tree trunks and razor-sharp black nails like talons came from each finger bone. "Wow," I spoke awe struck and rubbed down one.

I was careful to not get close to the point, but I guess Thann didn't like me even that close because he gave a warning growl and stepped away. I just stood straight and smiled. "Thank you." I rubbed over his cheek and his eyes began to sparkle.

He nodded.

"Can you understand me in this form? Or are you more animal?" I wasn't sure how I would even get human Thann to understand that question, so I just dropped it.

He then let his tongue roll out of his mouth in a very friendly dog like attitude. It caused me another giggle. "You're so funny." El like werewolf.

He pressed his nose into the crook of my neck and huffed a hot breath across me. I backed up with a laugh and rubbed the tickle away. "Good werewolf." I patted his head and before he could get mad at me, I stepped into him and hugged around his neck.

He gave a shocked yelp but I just hugged tighter until his wolfie head wrapped me in his own version of a hug.

It was so warm and protective, like nothing could ever hurt me and I was delighted.

"I love you Thann," slipped out into his fur.

When I realized what I had said, I stepped back embarrassed. "Oh, sorry. Uh, well. I guess you should go change and then we eat? Hmm?"

His eyes were like stars set on me but slowly moved to where the crumpled antelope fell. He nodded and ran off in the other direction.

The next morning, I reached for Thann and he was no longer sharing the sleeping bag. Yawning, I opened my eyes and sat up, scanning the area for him.

But he had already gone for his morning disappear.

I stretched and went for my morning break too.

When I came back to camp, my nose was picking up a scent that told me Thanksgiving dinner was coming. I didn't know what it was, but it was making my stomach rumble with anticipation. Some part of my brain told me something more delicious than freshly baking bread was to be found, I just needed to search it out.

Wandering around the campsite, I kept inhaling deep and long, repeatedly bringing the scent in.

My senses were crap, but I kept going until I found myself standing at the antelope carcass Thann had hung in a tree the night before.

My mouth salivated when the smell was right before me.

"You?" I spoke unconvinced to the raw chunk of meat.

That was no fresh warm bread. That was no turkey smothered with cranberry sauce.

My stomach said shovel in now, but my brain started backing out. Sure, antelope tasted good for dinner, but it was just like any old steak. Nothing was all that special that I should be wanting to bury my face in it right now.

But I did.

Well okay then belly. If you're that starving. Weirdo.

Can't even wait for Thann to return?

I grabbed my hunting knife and placed my cooking pot on the small fire.

I cut off a long strip from the leg and had to gulp back my mouth preparing for the tastiness before me.

Now, I wasn't squeamish around raw meat, but I never liked to have it in my hands, yet in this instance my fingers started rubbing through the meat like a smooth clay. It made me wonder what it would feel like in my mouth.

I eyed the pot warming on the fire, ready for a steak to be cooked and my whole body rejected the idea. It was complete revolt.

I wanted to try it raw?

The little devil on my shoulder started whispering in my ear. Remember how good that goat tasted raw? And this smells so much better than it did. What would uncooked antelope be like?

But I warred with myself.

The angel yelled back. Don't be stupid! You were sick for a whole day! You want to be puking again?

No.

Yes.

No.

Yes.

Thann would kill me if he knew what I was contemplating.

I looked up and scanned the trees as if I were a child making sure my father wouldn't catch me grabbing an extra helping of cookies.

And when there was no sight of Thann, I brought the raw steak to my lips and took a small forbidden nibble from the top.

Just a small bite to see what it tasted like. I couldn't get that sick from just a half nibble.

I'd eat the rest cooked.

But with the single piece my mind exploded in satisfaction.

Oh my goodness. I moaned as the piece rolled around my mouth. It was so good.

I even closed my eyes, savoring the taste.

Buttery and soft, just the right amount of chew, and a heartiness at the back of my mouth that brightened the flavor just well enough.

mmmmm....

I was in paradise.

So I ate another bite.

And another.

And another.

I couldn't help myself.

And before my brain could catch up, I had eaten through the whole steak and was licking the excess juices from my fingertips.

I had even turned back to the meat for another slice when Thann walked into my view instead.

"El," he greeted and I jumped with shock, nearly falling backward.

"HiHiHi!" I said a little too enthusiastically, shoving my hands in my pockets like he could see my disobedience.

If he knew what I just did, I'd get my butt kicked and that had me all sorts of obvious.

"I wasn't doing anything! Just having some breakfast, yum yum yum!" I then rolled my hands over my stomach. I ran to the fire, and grabbed the pot out like I'd already cooked it and now just needed to clean up. "Don't worry about me! Just putting breakfast dishes away!"

He chuckled amused and then lifted me to a stand beside him.

"El," he purred my name and then opened his fingers, revealing more jewelry.

"Another ring." I looked up to him and grinned, the pot forgotten. "It's beautiful."

I grabbed it from him and examined it. It was a completely stone ring. Carved from a crystalline pink rock, glittering and faceted like a diamond.

My words were hushed. "Wow. It's gorgeous." I placed it on, until it fit perfectly over my middle finger. I beamed to Thann and then back down to watch the light bounce off it.

He sent a beam back and caressed my face to look at him. "Ngiyakuthanda, Eleanor."

I giggled and went back to watching the glitters. "I love it."

A ripple of a growl came from his throat and he turned and walked a few steps away.

"Thann?" I asked his retreating frame. "You okay?"

He spoke forlorn to the horizon. "Ngifuna nje ukuthi ungiqonde."

"I'm sorry?" I offered, but wasn't sure what I was apologizing for.

He turned back around and gave a sad fake smile. "El good."

"Okay?" I was confused and he gave a true grin.

He walked the distance between us and took my face in his hands and lifted me to kiss him. I even rolled to tip toe to melt into his kiss. Soft lips against mine, chaste and sweet.

Then he pulled back and gave me another kiss to my forehead. My butterflies swarmed, twisting the raw antelope meat around and I suddenly remembered what naughty thing I had done.

My face reddened and he watched the color flood and grinned. Red.

I giggled, being caught red handed. Or red faced. "Yes, that's red. I should not have taught you colors."

He chuckled and then reached for my hand. I let him entwine our fingers and then he grabbed the pink ring and pulled it from my finger.

"Hey, no!" I complained. "I want that one." And I grabbed it quickly from him before he chucked it to the woods.

"Kepha akusebenzi. Usafuna?" He asked dubious.

"No touchy," I wagged a pointer finger in front of his face and then replaced the ring.

He grinned with creases at his eyes. It made him all the more handsome and he took my hand, kissing over the ring.

My breath stopped and I watched him, waiting for me to get the next kiss.

It didn't come.

He released my hand and strode over to the antelope and tore a leg from the thigh joint. He winked at me and then sat down across the fire and started to eat.

But then my glance dipped to his breakfast and I had to look away for a different reason.

I turned clear around.

What was wrong with me!

Dude, last time you ate raw meat you were puking everywhere. You are going to be deader than dead meat when Thann realizes you ate more.

I was so stupid.

I gave a few good pounds to my head to clear the buttery raw meat from my memory.

When my new ring knocked against me, I then grinned and went to watch it instead. If I concentrated hard enough on the ring, I wouldn't be tempted with the weird deer anymore.

I hoped it was true.