Lillian was happy when she heard Ryan had the whole week off and then Christmas, so it was the three of them together. She was wrapping some gifts up since Meredith had to go grocery shopping since most of the stores will be closed tomorrow for New Year’s Eve, so she had to finish. Which she didn’t mind at all.

“Remember, make sure he burps at least three times.”, Lillian reminded Ryan after he finished feeding Zane.

He gave her a ‘whatever’ look, “I know, Lillian. This isnt my first time.”.

She shrugged, “Hey, if he throws up on you again, don’t be crying to me about it.”

Lillian finished wrapping the rest of the present before putting them under the Christmas tree. Tomorrow she would spend Christmas Eve with Ryan’s family since they open their gifts at midnight and Christmas she’ll be with her family. She couldn’t wait, she loved Christmas and a week after New Years, it would be Ryan’s eighteenth birthday.

“Ugggh!”, Ryan groaned and she turned to see some spit and throw up on his blue t-shirt.

“Forgot to put the towel over your shoulder, I see.”, she said, taking Zane from so Ryan could change his shirt and she cleaned the little bit of throw up around Zane’s mouth. When Ryan walked upstairs, she grinned at Zane, “What should we get daddy for his birthday?”, she whispered to Zane who just smiled excitedly. She doesn’t have a lot to get him, only fifty dollars. What could she get him? She has no idea since she has never gotten a boy anything except her dad and that was just a bottle of cologne. It was so hard for her figure out what guys like.

He pushed his feet against her thighs to stand up, which he loved doing. She fixed out his playmat on the floor and laid him on his tummy. He didn’t like tummy time so much, he loved being held and he started fussing. She groaned, not wanting to hold him right now because she wants him not be so use to being held all the time and soon hopefully in a couple of week, crawl over or sit up. She knew she was expecting a lot from her baby but she couldn’t help it.

She turned on some cartoon show with lots of colors and turned it up until Zane forgot about being held and stared at the TV. It helped a lot when he paid attention because he would began pushing himself up as if he was trying to get closer to the TV.

 Ryan came back down, on his phone. He sat down next to her, typing away on it. She knew it was stupid but she felt curious to who he was texting. She bit her bottom lip and leaned closer to him, “Who’s that?”

He pulled away, “No one, just Dillon.”.

“Oh,”, she said, pulling away.

 After a few moments when he put his phone down, she leaned on beside him and she wrapped his arm around since she wanted to cuddle. When Zane got tired to pushing himself up, he just laid there and fell asleep and Lillian grabbed a blanket. She laid in front of Ryan on the bed and wrapped them in a blanket before picking a movie on demand.

Every few minute Ryan would check his phone and she was getting pretty annoyed with it. This was family time and he’s checking his phone and texting? She knows she shouldn’t mind it so much, but it did.

After the eighth time, she mentioned something, “Ryan, how about you tell Dillon you’ll text him later?”.

He paused and looked down at her confused, “Why?”.

She scuffed, “Cause we’re watching a movie and it’s kind of bugging me when you wont even pay attention to it.”.

“I am paying attention.”, he said.

“Oh really?” she asked. “Okay, what did John Carter just say to the princess?”.

He paused for a moment as he watched the screen, “Something about Earth.”.

“He just told her all the planets names that people from Earth calls them.”, she said, her annoyance rising.

“See, I got it right.”, he said.

She just scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest ignoring him.

He sighed and wrapped his around her waist tighter, “Okay, your right, I’ll stop and pay atten—“, he got cut off by the vibrating of his phone and she scoffed again. “Last time, I promise. I’ll even turn it off.”.

“Thank you.”, she sarcastically said.

When he turned it off, he put it on the table next to the coach. He kissed the side of her head, keeping his lips there, “Happy?”.

She just grumbled a ‘yes’, not facing him. She couldn’t help that she was still annoyed.

“I love you.”, he said. She just gave him the silent treatment.

It was quiet though the rest of the movie with no interruption, which kept her happy cause she enjoyed the John Carter movie. She loved movies like that, space movies. She loved the Planet of Apes movies. It’s why she also loved the Syfy channel and Ryan called her his little nerd.

                She put regular TV and took the blanket off them. When she turned her head to Ryan, she realized he fell sleep! She glared at him and got up from the couch. She grabbed the still sleeping Zane and she placed him in the electronic swing next to the couch and strapped him in. He woke up a little and she cursed under her breath, begging in her head, Sleep, sleep, sleep. Go back to sleep, please.

She quickly rushed for his pacifier and he yawn when she got back. She put it in his mouth and he began sucking on it, falling back asleep. She breathed out in relief and stalked upstairs. She started a hot bath and turned on the radio.

She grabbed a blanket and went back to the bathroom. She undressed and got in the water. She made an ‘ahhh’ sound when she got in, feeling really good. She loved hot bath time alone with just the radio playing and reading a book. Zane’s asleep and Ryan downstairs next to him. Everything just fine.

She was reading the Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins book. She read the Hunger Games already, she just never got around to reading the last two and she wanted to badly finish the series. She got so into the book that she didn’t even realize the water was getting cold. She drained some of the water enough for her to let some more hot water into the tub.

After, she only got five pages in when she heard Zane downstairs crying. She paused and turned her head, looking at the floor. She thought about whether she should get out and tend to his needs but she remembered Ryan was down there. He knows what to do.

She went back to her book and finished one more chapters before cleaning her body and wash her hair. She got out and wrapped herself in a towel. She walked out of the bathroom and got changed into some pajama’s.

She put on some socks before leaving the bedroom and went downstairs. Ryan had Zane in his arm and his other one was burping him.

“Wanna get a shower?”, she asked.

“I’m fine.”, he said.

 “You sure?”, she asked. “He’s already feed, go get a shower. You look like you need one.”.

He just shrugged and she sighed, hating the lack of communication again. They use to be able to talk so much, now it doesn’t seem like it. She leaned towards him, “Come on Ryan, go get one. I’ll give you a neck and back massage after.”, she grinned, knowing he loved back massages.

That back a smile on his face and a chuckle, “You drive a good bargain, Lil.”, he said and on Zane third burp, he gave Zane to her. He got up from the couch and left to upstairs.

Lillian sat Zane on her crossed legs as they watched TV and she let Zane put her clean finger in his mouth to chew on. If she would pull away, he would cry as if it was the end of the world. It felt so weird, but it was weird when she was breastfeeding him. She kissed his little head, wondering when he was going to grow more hair on his head as she began to run her hand through his thin chocolate hair that was same as Ryan. She saw so much of Ryan in him but the shape of his eyes and ears.

Every time Lillian chuckled at the comedy show, Zane would join her by giggling loudly.

Ryan came back down fifteen minutes later. He had only grey sweat pants on. Ryan didn’t have much of a six-pack or anything, but he was still gorgeous shirtless. And after a summer of working on houses, his biceps are strong. She loved it when he held her the most.

He sat down with his back towards her, “Massage time.”.

She rolled her eyes, “Take Zane.”, she said and he did. She wondered why she had to say give him a back rub now. She began on his neck first. She always had to give Brad a back massage all the time since he was a football player, so she was good at massaging.

“Mmmm,”, Ryan said. “Why don’t you rub my neck everyday?”.

She chuckled, “Because Zane is attention seeker who likes to have his mommy undying attention.”.

“He get attention from everybody. He’s spoiled with love.”, Ryan said and Lillian smiled. It was true, everyone just wants to hold and kiss Zane. He was just a plain out adorable little boy. She was happy Zane had it though, she was worried no one would love because of their mistake. How wrong she was. He was simply a great surprise.

After massaging his back which took her almost half an hour since he was greedy and wanted more, she wrapped her arms around his torso and placed her chin on his shoulder. He turned his head to the side and they smiled at each other before he kissed her forehead.

“Hopefully by the middle of the summer, we’ll have our own place.”, Ryan said.

“I know, but it’s going to be a little scary.”, she chuckled.

He looked down at her confused, “Why?”.

“Who going to be there in a rush when Zane turns one? It’s going to get worse when he stars walking.”, she said and they both laughed. “Zane gets his shots next week, remember?”.

“I know, I know.”, he said. “I already told my boss I’ll be an hour late.”.

“Good cause you know you’re the only one who can stand there while he’s in pain.”, she said, pouting and tickled her sons tummy who was laying on Ryan’s lap, chewing away on his fingers.

“You know, it this is what it felt like to breastfeed, it doesn’t seem so bad as you made it.”, he said.

“Hey, him sucking on your boob is much worse then your finger.”, she snorted.

~

Are you going to the valentine dance?, Jeanette asked over a text.

Lillian looked over at Ryan who was paying attention to her but on the TV as he held Zane. She wasn’t sure if she was, they haven’t really talked about it. They already missed the Halloween and Christmas dance because Ryan had to work both time and she didn’t want to go alone or with Jeanette and her snobby friends who still don’t like her even if Jeanette and her made up but she kind of wanted to go to the Valentine one. She didn’t go freshmen year because she had no one to go with and Jeanette said she could go with her and the boy she was dating at the time but she didn’t want to be the third wheel.

And of course she didn’t go last year because she was pregnant and she didn’t want to watch Ryan and Jeanette be all lovely dovey. And she didn’t have no date again.

“Hey Ryan?”.

“Mmm?”, he asked, turning to look at her.

“Do you think we could go to the Valentine dance this time?”, she asked, biting down on her bottom lip.

“The dance?”, he asked, sighing. “I don’t know, Lillian.”.

“Please?”, she asked. “You got lots of time to call off this time and I really want to go.”, she said, pouting her bottom lip and making her eyes look sad.

“Those dances are lame, though. I only went last year cause a ‘no’ would get me killed by Jeanette.”, he said.

“But it’s me this year.”, she said, practically begging. “My mom wont mind to take Zane for one night and it’s the only time we could have fun. Please?”

He took a moment before sighing, “Alright, we’ll go. But I wont ask my boss until half of January because he can’t stand when people call off work sometimes.”.

She smiled and leaned over, kissing his cheek, “Thank you.”.

She smiled when she text Jeanette back with a ‘yes'.

When it was around Zane time to eat—and they know when it’s time because Zane start throwing his fusses—it was Ryan’s night so he got up to go make him a bottle.

He got up and left while Lillian texted Jeanette. A few moments later, Ryan phone buzzed next to her, surprising her. Her head quickly snapped down and she saw a text. It wasn’t from Dillon who she except but Hanna. Her eyebrow arched up in confusion and she picked the phone up-

Didn’t he have such a huge head? The man need to invest in a wig cause I couldn’t stop staring the whole time he was there! ahaha! But I guess he’s bald cause he’s so rude also!

He’s texting her?, she thought, not knowing he textes her. She doesn’t really go snooping around his phone, so she wouldn’t have known if her number in it or see texts from her. But he never mentioned it either!?

                Calm down Lil, it’s just a text and their not even flirting. Their talking about work, nothing bad about that, she thought, tossing the phone down. She trust Ryan, so why shouldn’t he text her? As long as their not flirting, she’s perfectly fine…

She thinks. It was so hard trying to make herself believe herself sometimes.