Chapter 1

Things had changed a lot since my father's death and, of course, the first thing to have changed was my brother taking his place. He was sometimes an impossible man but to me, he would be. I had my own powers and land yet he could so easily take them away from me. My father loved us both just as equally, still he had to show favour to my brother since he was a son and I was not. In private, my family could be rather disdainful as well as loving and as any other family. This, clearly, made me a mere princess and I had always refused to divulge in the pleasures that the rest of the court so freely did.

Court could be such a tedious place. I was required, as it were, to converse with the lords and ladies of my brother's kingdom. It had not been an atmosphere I had been very accustomed to, not even when I first came into it under my father's rule. There was too much talk and all too cunning at that. Currently, with the company of two of my ladies stood behind me, I spoke to one of my more trusted servants.

'Your Highness, I hear you are leaving soon.'

'Yes, I wish to go back into my usual seclusion for the winter, Cobham.' As I spoke, another friend caught my eye and I bowed my head to him as he did to me. 'I know my brother does not like when I am away but his ways are too childish for my liking. Cobham,' I said, bowing my head to him and stepped away to approach my close friend.

'My Lady,' he said, smirking in his usual cheeky manner I always like to see.

I smiled, mentally pushing back the flushes in my cheeks. It was good to see him again. 'Beau. You are back, I see.'

That was not his full name but even those of royal blood have nicknames with their friends. 'It has been a long time. How are you?'

'I have a bit of a cold but otherwise, I am well. Do you have news for me?' As a servant passed beside us, I grabbed a large goblet of rich red wine and took a large sip from it; the aromatic scents filling my nose.

He nodded and we both glanced around us. 'Yes though even walls have ears.'

'I see you are still the riddler. I...' I was interrupted by the announcement of my brother's arrival.

'His majesty, King Robert of Capra.' Beau bowed lowly beside me. When I met my brother's gaze, all I did was bow my head the smallest amount. He never liked it yet he was my brother and not my father to whom I would bow my head below my shoulders. Then his wife was announced and I raised my head. They were not in love yet in the public's eyes, they were devoted to each other; she and I did not like each other one bit.

'His Majesty wishes to speak to you,' whispered a servant in my ear.

'Thank you. I'll speak to you later, Beau.' Handing him my goblet, I walked over to my brother's side. 'You wished to see me, Majesty?'

'Sister, I hear you are leaving.'

'Oh, how quickly news gets passed to your ears. You know I always go for the winter. Your court is not mine, Robert. Lavina,' I said, acknowledging my sister-in-law at last.

'Leticia,' she sneered and took an elaborate goblet of wine from the tray held in front of her. 'Who is that young man you were just talking to?'

As ever, she took no less pride in interfering in my affairs. 'That is Beaufort's second son. Robert knows we have always been friends.' I gave my brother a stern gaze.

'Weren't we friends with all the Lords' sons, dear sister?'

'You more than I,' I said back. 'Forgive me, I have somewhere to be.' There was little more I had to say to my brother and even less to his wife. As I walked out, those around me moved out of my way and bowed with respect. My ladies would always be close at hand but I begged them to stay and enjoy themselves, I wanted to be alone when I spoke to my friend.

There would only be one place he would mean to meet me. I went out into the courtyard, making sure no one was following me. Slipping into the shadowed alcove, I became surrounded by the sweet smell of lilac and the stone-carved flowers and vines in the pillars. 'Letty.'

'Adrian!' I squeaked under my breath as he scooped me up from around the chest and placed me back down. 'I have missed you.'

He kissed my cheek in his affectionate way as always. 'You know I don't like it when you call me that. I have missed you more, I think.' I raised my eyebrows in a subtle scandalising look. 'While I was away, you get to stay here with all your friends and having all the freedom you wish.'

Nudging his arm, I stepped around him. 'You know I have very little friends now my brother is king. They all seem to gain favours with him now as though I was nothing more than a servant.' I missed the days under my father.

Beau took my hand and similarly stepped in front of me, leaning close to my face. 'That may be but you still have those who believe you have enough influence on your brother's decisions. Do not give in to your worries. Besides, you are not nothing to me.'

Dropping my head, I smiled knowing he meant it. 'I know that. How was Kaldri?' I asked, wanting to know everything about his visit to our ally's court.

'Curious?' There was a subtle citrus odour about him though that might be still clinging on since his trip to Kaldri.

'I want to know everything.'

He pulled me over to one of the benches where we sat together. 'Well, as ever there was a lot of political talk. Why I had to go, I do not know. Anyway, it was rather enjoyable to say the least.'

'And why do you say that?'

He just looked at me and I knew what he would have said. 'Kaldrian hunting is very interesting.' He went on to say a few things more about his visit but half the time I knew they were covers to what might have actually occurred whilst he was not around me.

'Oh really? And what of your hunting results?' I was only teasing him and yet he briefly appeared hurt that I might say that. 'I do not judge you, Beau. I do have fun even when you are not around.'

'I am sure you do.' And he grabbed me around the waist and held me close to him. 'What does your brother say?'

'He leaves me be. He might be my master but he knows I can be dangerous if he forces me to do anything,' I told him openly. 'Lavina, on the other hand, she tried to make my business into her own. Still she will not cross me in public and I keep away from her in private.'

'So he lets you make your own decisions?'

I nodded and touched my lips to his; the taste of wine still clung to his lips as I traced my tongue along them. It was only brief but long enough for us both. Standing up, I looked at the stars and prayed things could be different though I knew they could not change. Robert and I were understanding of each other until one of us became angry, and more than often that would be him.

'Letty, what is it?'

'Just thinking. We need to be careful, Beau, I feel there is something brewing and it has not reached my ears yet.' Like my brother and most of his court, I had spies and eavesdroppers in many places. The hardest part about having so many agents was to keep letters and conversations secret.

Even if there were those I could only sometimes trust; luckily, there was one person I trusted with my life. 'Not everything is heard when it comes to you and your brother's safety, Letty. If I hear anything, I will come straight to you. I promise.'

'Don't, Adrian.' I walked away and, as he always would, he followed me back inside. 'You do not need to promise me. I trust you.'

Now we were more likely to be seen, he did not touch me although I could see in his eyes how much he wanted to. 'You always can. And making promises to you makes me more your servant.'

I would have been angry at him for saying that if I had not seen two lords walk towards us. 'I understand.' It was then I noticed that the two men had seeked me out to talk to me. 'My lords, what is it?'

Beau stepped to one side, giving up his place in front of me. The first to speak was Lord Barwick; he was an older man and had been good friends with my father (so I remembered). He had grey hair and greyish blue eyes and was a head taller than me; as most lords do, he wore the colours of his house, green and black striped chevrons. 'Your highness, we wish to accompany you on your retreat.'

I forced my emotions to stay purely internal. 'And why the sudden wanting to be around me, Barwick?'

Being the elder did not, in palaces and courts, out rightly mean respect was given. Ranks and titles are what matters the most. 'We only offer it for your protection. Since your brother chooses to ignore you as his sister, it is only right someone takes care of you.'

I appreciated his concern. 'And being a woman, I am completely incapable of taking care of myself,' I commented sarcastically.

'That is not what I meant...'

'Oh I know. I understand. Very well, you may accompany me to my castle. After that, you can return here and keep an eye on my brother. He is the king after all.' They looked at each other seemingly bothered by what I could mean. 'Not for me, for himself. He does not take very much care in who he keeps as close company. We may not always agree but I still care for him. He is... family.' They both bowed again and we separated before anyone else entered the courtyard. Of course, in some way or another, my brother would find out what I requested of Barwick and Aderly (the second, quieter lord). 'You have to stay behind too, Adrian,' I said to my friend.

'I was expecting you to say that, even if I will not like it.'

I laughed and slowly walked towards the hall. 'Oh, please. You are my closest friend, Beau. And yes, I will miss you like I always do. And you still have not finished your spying for me.' He smiled and bobbed his head a few times and disappeared to wherever he was currently staying with his family. Smiling to myself, I rejoined the party in my brother's hall and gulped down as much wine as I could find.

*****

There was a reason why my brother gave me majority control over the north. It was colder up here and further away from our nearest allied countries and trade routes. It also allowed me to keep as far away from my brother as possible, there had been many incidents between us in the past that now it was better to keep from starting any. I would have ridden on my own horse if the weather permitted; however, it did not so I had to ride in this creaking carriage. It was tedious but still, I had less than a day to go to get to my warm home. Barwick rode on my left and would keep me informed as to where we were. Aderly rode slightly behind on my right and remained quiet as ever. They had no concern any of the years before to accompany me anywhere. I let them come along, knowing they would be gone soon after.

'Highness, your palace is just ahead,' Barwick informed me to which I sat up straight from my slouching. He and Aderly rode ahead to make sure things were in order.

'My horse,' I called and it was soon brought to me. I rode after my two companions and we continued the rest of the way together. On passing through the gates, I dismounted and looked up at the familiar stone walls and stained glass windows. 'Thank you,' I said to the servant who took my horse's reins. My father always told me to be humble to everyone no matter how high I became.

The boy took my horse just as Aderly and Barwick dismounted and joined me. 'Are you glad to be back, my Lady?' Aderly asked.

'Indeed, it has been a long year. Now I get to do as I please and not what my brother wishes me to do.' Smiling, I went inside and made my way up to my personal quarters. I quickly changed from my travelling attire and into my more comfortable clothes. I did not have to wear my expected clothing in my own household. Untying my hair, I let it fall down my shoulders and I breathed in sharply.

'Are you alright, my Lady?' asked one of my maids.

'Oh, yes. I am fine, just glad to be away from court after so long. Could you get the cook to prepare me and my friends some dinner?' She bowed and left the room. In the meantime, I would go and see my chamberlain, he usually had some good words for me. Indeed, most of my household would stay up here, out of the influence from my brother's house. 'Chamberlain, what do you have for me?' I asked as soon as I stepped into his office.

'Just some letters from friends as ever, your Highness.' He handed them to me and I put them in a pocket for later. 'Will your Lords be staying for long?'

I could only merely understand his curiousness. 'Maybe a day or two and then they will be heading back to Hendor.' Once more, I headed off around my palace, keeping out of my servants' way whenever I could. As hostess, I took it upon myself to make sure my guests were being looked after. They had been given some rooms in the eastern quarter. Things seemed adequate enough for their short stay and yet, I felt like they had brought rather too much along for a mere couple of days. 'You wish to stay longer, Aderly?' I asked as I noted his three chests of clothes and shoes and papers.

Bowing humbly at the waist, he apologised. 'You must forgive us, your Highness. We did not mean to mislead you.'

'Oh, no, I'm sure. Fine, just so long as you do as you say. I have had the cook make us a descent dinner for later. All this riding around can make one so hungry.'

Aderly, I knew, was the son of another lord when I first met him and was only now a lord himself due to his own father's death. 'May I walk with you, my Lady?'

'If you must.' I decided, since the weather had cleared up, to walk outside. Aderly was not as tall as Barwick yet he was still well built and knew how to act now he was a lord. 'How is your family, Aderly? I know you miss your father like I miss mine.' I did not mean to upset him, friendly conversation was sometimes hard to come by.

'They are well. My sister was married last month and she is happy. I see her whenever I wish though and yes, you are right. I miss my father. It was a great upset and misfortune but, now, your brother is in charge.'

'Yes, he is. And I am worried for my own welfare. My safety is as intact as ever but you seem to feel the same, I believe?' How else could he or Barwick explain this sudden protectiveness.

He nodded and put his hands behind his back. 'Yes, I do and I am not the only one. Your brother may be king but we all know your house is the most successful this country has had. Enough men will willingly protect your brother whereas you may go unseen.' His way of speaking was rather strange though not enough that I found him strange.

'And how is it that I end up with you and Barwick as my carers? As it were,' I added, not sure as to another word to use.

He bowed his head and we continued on. 'Barwick and my father were one of the few closest to your father. We both, and those few others, owe it to him to watch out for you and your brother. Like I said, your brother has enough protection around him.'

'Ah, now I understand.' We continued to walk still, around the gardens at the back of my castle. Aderly was an interesting man and he took pleasure, from what I saw, in walking among the flowers and bushes. 'Are you a man of nature, Aderly?'

'Owen, please. And aren't we all? Of nature, I mean.'

It had been a long time since I had heard his name but it clicked now that I had again. 'Ah, that was it. And yes, I suppose we are. I hadn't thought about it like that.'

'My Lady,' he said and it was when I looked at him, he was holding a beautiful dark red, star-shaped flower with a yellow centre. I took it from him and felt my cheeks flush slightly. 'I do not mean to embarrass you,' he added, noticing my odd state.

'You haven't. It's just... I am not used to being treated this way. Shall we go eat?' I suggested whilst smelling the flower he had picked for me. It was not a strong aroma yet it smelled fragrant enough for this time of year.

'After you,' he replied with a gesture of his arm.

It was strange to think that he might have other reasons to have come up here to look out for me. I had never been sure of what to do with gentlemen who tried to gain my affections. It had never been of any interest for me and I was still young enough to not care. As a princess, however, in my brother's eyes I should only ever marry above myself; my father's point on it had been very different. This was another reason for staying out of court during seasonal times. The closest thing I knew to love was what I felt for Beau and then again, I did not even know what that was.

Dinner was uncommonly louder than my usual encounters whilst here. Aderly and Barwick spoke of matters I had barely indulged myself in before. It became clearer by the minute that there were speculations in my brother's court to do with both him and me. It was unclear, to them as well, what these were exactly. It was my job, so I felt, to investigate by whatever means I could. I may only be a woman to most but that made me less likely to be suspect of such interfering.

'Might I suggest another possibility?' I requested. They both looked at me and nodded. 'Why don't I leave you two in charge of sorting these things out? Whatever you find you can tell me about it whenever we next meet. Things could be safer that way. The king might not believe me as much if we are seen together too often, you know how easy rumours are made and spread.'

'You mean, like obscuring the lines of eavesdropping?' Barwick asked.

'Yes, the harder it is to follow someone's train of messaging, the better it will be for us all. In the meantime, I will try to get my brother to understand his part in everything. He still acts like a boy,' I announced, slamming my empty goblet on the table. 'I think some of his hatred to me is from envy. Uh, I may never know truly.' I ran my hands through my hair and then dropped my head to touch the table. 'Ahhh, such troubles,' I said out loud.

'Highness?' Barwick spoke, sounding unsure as to what was making me act so unlike I should.

'Forgive me, I am just speculating. Trust me, if anyone ever offers you the chance to be a prince, even for a day, I beg you to decline it. It is far too complicated to even begin to simplify.' I even felt a headache starting from thinking about it all.

'Alas, it is late. And being the old man that I am, I am tired. I shall see you both tomorrow.' And Barwick left with a short bow.

'Aren't you tired too?' I asked Aderly.

He finished his wine and leant back in his chair. 'Yes but you seem like you enjoy the company.'

I smiled and sat up straight. 'I do. Although I seclude myself this far north during the winter, it does not mean I do not want company. It is nice to have some people around I can talk to more openly with.'

'What do you mean?'

'It is only recently that I chose who I have around me and yet not everyone can be completely faithful or trustworthy. Not you nor I can ever say we haven't said something about a friend behind their back.'

His calculated look rather amused me and yet he still kept to his strange ways. 'You are strange, my Lady.'

'As you said to me, Owen, you can call me by name in private. Most of my friends insist not to but I still wish they would. And I believe we both share the same mix of friends.'

He nodded and smiled. 'Yes, I believe so.'

Tiredness seemed to begin to take over me and I bade him goodnight and went to sleep.

*****