I have been timid and shy for as long as I could remember. Not to mention I was afraid of every new person, maybe that's because I have always been a mama's girl. All I ever wanted was to have fun with mom and that's all. But it all changed when I started school. I had to take my steps outside of the cover, the one behind which I had always been hiding. But my problem with communication never seemed to improve whenever I tried talking to someone I didn't know. I needed some time to get used to the people. But that always ended up me being late.

When I took admission in middle school. It was a whole new environment for me. New people, new places, new teachers, somewhat between all this I was not able to open up to anyone. 

In the starting days of school I got an uninvited sick fever and because of that I was not able to attend school for a few days and when I returned, kids in my class have settled with their groups and between all this I was left alone. Unfortunately, I was given that cornered desk all the way back. And not only that besides me sits the only loner in the class. 

How can I tell?

It's because since I entered the class, he's been sitting on his desk reading some kind of a deceivingly covered book. I can tell for sure that it's not the one given to us to study. Anyway, all this time no one tried to approach him. Well, I was not in a better situation either. I tried to approach one of the groups during lunch but my lack of communication skills got the best of the situation. Progress in making friends and settling in class is zero. And school hours came to end. Next day I tried Again but words just didn't come out of my mouth. 

You know if you don't even speak, how will you expect someone to reply to you.

I know I suck at this communication thing.

Why not get used to the environment and people first and then you can unfold yourself slowly. It's much better than blindly charging in.

 I replied to him in a sarcastic tone.

Look, a loner is giving me advice on how to make friends.

After hearing this he turned his head to the other side, looking at some girl talking with her friends. He said,

It's not like I'm a loner by choice.

Then he stood up and left the class. After that I didn't see him till the lunch break and decided to look for him. I looked through all the classes and the places I could think of and finally found him slacking off behind the school building under the shade of a big tree.

What do you think you are doing out here?

Just making my day productive if I have to say.

And how's this productive?

Look, I don't think I need to give any explanation to you. What are you my MOM?

But still I sit next to you.

You are still new, you don't know of the rumours, don't you?

I never knew that any rumours were going on about him.

It's not like I will believe anything I hear.

It doesn't matter, listen if you hang out with me there's a chance that some bad rumours about you also start spreading.

What's you with the rumours? Just tell me all that you know and what happened with you.

I asked him with a straight face.

The girl with blonde hair, she's my cousin.

The one he was looking at before he dashed out of the class.

One day, my family visited then and I didn't liked that at all, because it seemed like that they don't like me and don't want me to come.

After an hour there was a panic, her mother was shouting that where is her diamond necklace, I didn't understand why but they started checking other our stuff after some time and somehow there was the necklace in my bag. I was labelled a thief. It didn't turned out well but we somehow managed to stop them from reporting me to the police. And now she's in my class and at the first day she started spreading lies that I'm a thief and I will steal anything if anyone gets closer.

That's harsh, where is that hag? Let's look for her. I'm not gonna take it lightly.

I was raging with anger. She just just made a mess out of his life. 

My sense of justice was really something at that time.

No, please don't, I don't give a shit about that now. And I think I kind of like being a loner. It's just addicting to me. I don't want to deal with people anymore so please don't.

But, are you okay with all the things staying this way?

Why not let me help you make friends, I can probably get you a few.

He clearly doesn't want me to talk about that and I'm gonna respect his decision.

So I replied.

Okay, please!!

And we returned to the class but as a punishment for being late we had to spend the rest of the period outside. A happy detention if I must add.

I was thinking that these teachers might end up becoming my true nemesis. While standing with nothing to do, my mind's started to have some weird thoughts that I don't wanna share.

 You know you are annoying. 

Thank you, I will take it as a compliment.

I know what you want but I'm not gonna fight you so that you can have some fun.

Anyway, do you have any idea how can be a part of that so called popular students.

I think you should try to get some attention. Just go and  try to get maximum marks on the test on Friday.

Hmm..do you think I can do that.

If you have any problems just ask me okay.

After that I worked hard for the next test and without any help I got the 2nd position in class.

But still it can't get over my mind that how the hell he managed to score 1st.

After scoring second, some students approached me. It was kind of hard following up with their conversation but somehow I managed it.

It was my first plan and it's already a success.

It's not that matters right now. How you managed to score 1st.

But I have to say this loner is something.

Scoring 1st as well as solving my problem. What's next.

Just keep getting popular. Have a talk with others. I know they will like you.

After that he came up with different ways to help me get what I lacked. Everyday was fun and slowly I was getting popular but I started to neglect the one who was important. After that I never got the chance to hang out with that loner and he never approached me. The Slow distance between us was so wide that it was like even my voice can't reach him. Now that she's not with me, I understand my feelings and I regret leaving him alone.

Slowly he made a mess out of himself his grades started going down and even though I was there I was not able to do a thing. Now I'm scared to approach him if all the people. I got popular but at the cost of one who's really important.

I passed the grade, classes changed and I never saw him again even though I was in the same school.

Later I changed School and found him again during the start of High School.

But somehow I got the feeling that he's not the same anymore. I asked my friends to find more about him but all we got was that he's a bad student with a more worse attitude and bad grades. Seeing him only makes me sad and feel guilty now. How can I approach him now. Is it possible that he's like this because of me?

Should I get involved with him again. No' I can't. It will only make his life worst after that. And I decided to not get myself involved with him for his sake and for my sake as well.