Unedited

Two weeks had gone by and Blue still had not awaken.

The hospital walls were beginning to look and feel like home to Chance. The food was beginning to taste familiar and the nurses were becoming his friends and family in such a short span of time. The window he was currently looking out of displayed a view he so badly want to go to at that moment. He could almost smell the salty water, feel the crispy sand and taste the satisfaction of being there.

Leaning towards the window, Chance shut his eyes and laied his chin in the palm of his hand, his elbow pressing against the wooden arm of his chair. A sigh escaped his nostrils as memories from weeks ago flashed in his mind.

I miss him so much, he thought.

His laughter, his smile, his touch.

The way his eyes would sparkle when he read his favourite book, the way he would glare at Chance whenever he knew Chance was right, the way he would get nervous over any little thing that Chance said; it all was suffocating to the young lad because he could no longer get those things.

He should not be to sure about it, but even after Blue wakes up, would he still be the same? Would he try to end his life again right after he walks free from this hospital? Would he even want to talk to Chance after he had abandoned him two days before his mother died?

Chance could not stop thinking about the loneliness he felt during those days. Had Blue thought about him? Had he wanted him to come back? Those were questions Chance was yet to get answers to.

"You never came back." Blue's voice rang in his head. Those were the last words he said before he passed out in Chance's arms.

Groaning, Chance opened his eyes and clenched his teeth. Anger boiled within his veins and he mentally slapped himself for being such an idiot.

I left him, I failed him, and worst of all, I failed London.

Those words printed itself on the very core of his chest, piercing its way to his aching heart. The pain was unbearable, but the voice ringing in his head, reminding him of how badly he failed overcame that agony and destroyed every last bit of innocence cuddled up within his heart and mind.

I'm such an idiot. I let him go.

Tears pricked the young lad's eyes as he glanced at Blue's fragile body. His skin was pale and he lost so much weight. It was as if the nurses weren't feeding him at all.

His hair was a mess but he still looked gorgeous. Underneath his eyes looked to have sunk and his lips were as dry as a desert. The only thing that made him look alive was the tint of red swimming at the tip of his nose.

"Dammit, Blue. I'm so sorry." Chance choked on his last words, the back of his hands violently wiping away every tear that betrayed him. They gave off that he was weak; something he knew but did not want to believe.

Subconsciously,  Chance leaned closer to the bed causing him to slide off the chair and land on his knees. He clenched his fists at his sides and bit down on his bottom lip. He could feel the sobs that were banging at his chest, soar its way through to his throat.

He wanted to scream; and he wanted to scream badly.

Suddenly, the door opened and Chance shut his eyes. He did not want to see anyone at that moment; he just wanted to be alone.

"Shit, Chance." The voice of Blue's nurse danced through his ears. That's when he lost it.

Every emotions Chance felt that day barged through his lips, filling every corner of the hospital. He knew he should not be so loud, but what would you do if the one that you fell in love with was on the brink of dying?

Two arms wrapped Chance, pulling him away from the bed just as he was about to grab a hold of Blue's hand. The nurse tightened his grip around Chance as he rocked him back and forth. No nurse would do such a thing to anyone, but the pain seeping through Chance's eyes brought pity to even the dead.

"He's going to be okay, Chance, " the nurse said but Chance was too far gone to hear him. Knowing that Blue was just going to be okay was not enough for him.

He wanted to hear him, feel him, kiss every last scar on his body. He wanted to hold Blue and beg him for his forgiveness. He wanted to tell him that he was never going to leave his side, never again.

That day, Chance lost so much that he could no longer find a reason to live. He lost so much that every smile that came his way penetrated his heart and made him feel even more guilty. He lost so much that he begged to switch places with Blue. In the back of his mind, he knew it was over. He knew that he would no longer be alive if the one that he loved would not wake up anytime soon.

"I'm done, " He finally said, his cries ceasing. The nurse's grip loosened and he pulled away from Chance. "What do you mean you're done?" He asked.

Chance pushed himself off of the ground and sniffed, his hair falling over his face. "I'm going home."

With that, Chance wiped his face with his sleeves and matched out of the hospital.