-*-

"... imagine dragons?"

"heck yes, i love them!"

"really? they're love, they're my everything! your turn."

"alright brina, what is your favourite instrument?"

it is still weird that you call me brina,

usually people call me sab

brina is different

but it is always different with you,

... and i find it quite intriguing.

i like how my name rolls smoothly from your tongue.

"the violin, of course," i say simply.

silence erupts between us.

your brilliant hazel brown eyes pierced through my emerald ones,

at that moment, i feel as if i am frozen in place. like you and i are the only two people on earth.

you do have nice eyes...

... i feel as if i could stare at it all day.

mesmerizing.

your eyes feels so warm,

so safe,

as if it's a blanket i can wrap myself with.

the feeling of warmth flowing in me,

as if i am home, finally, after a long day

... like a home i never had.

"lindsey stirling?" you ask, disturbing my train of thought

what was i thinking about?

why was i thinking about that?

"you know her?!" i almost scream, covering my mouth with my hands.

"of course i do!" you say just as loudly. "she's an idol of mine. i do play the violin myself."

i feel my mouth open a little,

i feel my eyes widen,

you. play. the. violin.

i repeat, you play the violin!

ISN'T ANYONE ELSE SCREAMING WITH ME?

oh right, i forgot, i'm talking to myself.

"you play the violin?" i ask timidly, trying to control my excitement. you play the violin! you play the violin!

"yes," you answer, starting to look down on your hands. what is wrong? "but i stopped playing."

"why is that?" i ask questioningly.

"circumstances."

"oh," is all i can say. i wonder why you stopped? "so lindsey stirling, huh?"

at that change of topic, you start to look at me again with a big grin plastered on your face. "she is awesome."

i laugh a little. you and i have so much in common that it is so overwhelming.

we have both been here for at least twenty minutes now and every topic we say randomly, we both agree to it.

i could say, i have met my other half.

it is a peculiar feeling to have met my twin.

"so what do you think about detective stuff, brina?" you start asking, grinning.

you look so cute when you grin.

... wait, cute? huh?

"sherlock," i simply state.

"which one?" you reply, your eyebrows furrowing

"bbc," we both say simultaneously.

at that, we both laugh loudly.

"shush! this is the library!" the librarian scolds us. "i've been watching you two since you both got here. i knew i should have kicked you out while i had the chance."

"we're sorry," we apologize.

we look at each other again and simply stiffle a laugh at our twin-ness yet again.

-*-

"come on! just try it out, blake," i tell you over the phone. "and if you don't like it, you could always stop."

i hear you sigh over the phone. i can already imagine you running your hand over your hair.

oh that soft, soft hair of yours. "maybe you're right."

i laugh, "of course, i'm right," i say with a teasing tone. "it's just football, blake. nothing to be afraid of."

says the one who is afraid of balls. yes, i am very afraid of balls. no, not the male parts, but actual balls. as in those circular, bouncy ones?

you know what i should just stop talking.

"you'll be fine," i assure to you.

i hear you chuckle a bit. "i might need some inspiration before i play though."

ah, inspirations. his last inspiration was this pretty girl that walked passed us while we were giggling about something,

if i remember right, it was something random i think about a cloud we saw that looked like a penguin riding a panda? but i just do not remember for sure.

"so find a pretty girl around there in the field, blake," i reply with a smile. "there are so much pretty girls around campus you know." i feel my heart tug a bit when i said those words, i am not sure why.

i hear your laugh over the phone. "maybe i will, maybe i won't, brina."

"you should! as you said, you need inspiration."

"hmm," you trail off.

"what, blake?"

"maybe you're my inspiration."

"what?"

"nothing."

-*-

me: "we really have to go to sleep, blake. we both have 7am classes tomorrow!"

yes, it is already half past three in the morning,

and we are still texting.

blake: "oh come on, brina! such a party pooper."

me: "how am i a party pooper if there was no party to begin with?"

blake: "everything with you is a party."

me: "right. let's sleep now, blake, or we'll regret it! again!"

blake: "fine, fine. anything for the queen. good night, brina. i hope you sleep well. :)"

at your text, i slowly read it again. i am about to reply a snarky comment about the queen-thing but a good night message?

is your good night message serious? i never received a genuine good night text before. a bit sad, yes, but it is true.

a good night text? how do i reply to that? i say good night, too?

why am i so awkward?

of course i have to reply a good night!

and my fingers being stubborn,

types in a different text.

me: "are you serious about that good night?"

blake: "of course. why would you think differently?"

me: "oh it's nothing, just wondering."

it is not nothing at all!

blake: "hmm... alright. i'll let you get away with this just this once, brina. just because i am quite tired from football practice today. so good night? :)"

the feeling is so bizarre for me to do what i am about to do next,

my hands slowly and shakingly type in,

me: "good night to you too, blake. :)"

-*-

"you know sab," my friend, waverley, starts. "i think your friend - blake is it? - i really think he likes you."

"what?" i ask. that is ridiculous. you and i are just friends who happen to like the same things. it does not mean we automatically like each other in that way. "why would you think that, waverley?"

"i'm not sure, sab," she replies. "when i see you both together, you guys seem really happy. and i don't see you genuinely happy a lot nowadays. it's really refreshing."

i stare at her as if she told me she is keeping an elephant in her refrigerator. "i assure you waverley, we're just friends."

she scoffs, mouthing yeah right.

"what about you and that seb guy? sebastian i think his name?"

waverley flinches when i mentioned the name sebastian. "do not speak of his name in front of me," she hisses. "he's stupid, annoying, and stupid!"

yikes. strike a nerve much?

i don't blame her though, sebastian is quite good looking but a bit too arrogant, if you get my drift. not my type.

she waves her hand. "enough about me, let's talk about you."

she simply smirks. "let's make a small bet, sab."

"alright, what is it?"

her smirk turns into a very wide smile, she looks like the cheshire cat right now. it kind of creeps me out. "i bet blake will give you something on valentine's day."

at that, i stiffle a laugh. "really? aha! that will never happen, waverley. i assure you."

"alright," she replies. "i will be waiting for my triple chocolate-chip cookie when i win."

"don't count on it," i reply to her with a laugh.

you - blake - giving me something for valentine's? i laugh at the idea.

"we'll see."

-*-

"these are what we call infinite roses," the man at the booth says as he holds a rose with pale blue coloured petals. "it is made of preserved dead rose petals and is intricately put together to form another rose itself and it is estimated to live technically forever or a very long period of time at the least, hence the name infinite."

it is a really pretty flower,

and it smells really nice.

"this infinite rose can also live as long as your relationships!" quite a few laugh, as so did you and i. "so purchase now! it is nearing valentine's day!"

and with that, some start to buy and some leave.

"... that was interesting," you start to say.

"it was, actually. quite a great idea too," i reply lightly. "and it is really pretty. it'll be quite cool to have my own."

"is that a hint, brina?" you ask with a smirk on your face.

"what hint?"

"to make me buy you one?"

i feel my cheeks tinge a light shade of red. "wha-what? no! of course not."

at my reply, you laugh. "i was joking, brina, lighten up."

"ha ha, right."

-*-

february fourteenth is on a saturday,

which is tomorrow.

i wonder what happens?

will you give me something? or am i just getting my hopes up?

-*-

i wake up at eight in the morning,

i am surprised that i have awoken so early

as i open my phone,

i read a few greetings of happy valentine's day! from various family members and friends,

and i reply to them.

i check your name if there are any new messages,

no new messages from blake

i lock my phone with a sigh,

what am i even waiting for?

will you really give me something for valentine's day?

i sigh, of course not,

we are just friends.

but are we?

or are we something more?

-*-

6:03 PM, my phone read

you still have not texted me or called me,

maybe something has happened to you?

i start to worry. you should have texted me something by now.

-*-

8:37 PM

i jolt up from a sudden vibration from my phone,

thank goodness, it is a message from you.

blake: "happy valentine's day, brina :)"

you're okay!

me: "happy valentine's day to you, blake. what were you up to today?"

blake: "oh nothing really, my dad wanted me to do something for him."

me: "really? that sucks."

blake: "i know right? to think, it's valentine's today."

i start to bite my fingernails. should i ask you?

oh, what the heck.

me: "so who's your valentine?"

okay. i kind of regret sending that. maybe you'll think i'm inlove with you or something?!

blake: "curious are we, brina? ;)"

me: "it's just a question, blake. i'm sorry, you don't need to answer if you don't want to..."

blake: "haha, joking! lighten up, brina. sometimes you're too serious for your own good. and my valentine is no one, fyi."

i feel my heart start to sink.

me: "oh."

blake: "yes, oh. who's yours?"

me: "same as you, none."

it could have been you,

if you have just given me a bloody infinite rose.

... kidding! (maybe.)

blake: "that's... good. well then, welcome to the lonely hearts club. yes, i am talking about marina and the diamonds."

me: "aha, yeah."

i don't know why but i feel sick in the stomach,

and quite sad.

why is that?

i already predicted that you will not give me anything because we are just friends.

friends.

yes... that is what we are.

so why am i so down for being so right?

-*-

"so where's my cookie?" waverley asks me, confidently. "did you get that infinite rose you were talking about?"

i am in no mood to talk to her,

she means well,

but my heart is just not up for it.

i force a smile to her. "i took the liberty of buying the cookie." i show her a paper bag with the cookie in it.

"well duh, you're supposed to be the one buying the cookie because i won," she says with a huge smile.

how i wish i am happy as her.

and quite frankly, i kinda wish she won, too.

i feel my fake smile fade. "hey, what's wrong?" she asks me, her face filled with concern.

i sigh. no use of keeping it. "blake didn't give me anything for valentine's, waverley."

"oh. well," she recovers quickly. "maybe i was wrong... you can have the cookie, sab. i'm not that hungry anyway. and pssh, boys! who needs them?"

i look at her and give her a small smile. "thanks." she smiles back.

"anyway, i have class to attend to. see you soon, waverley."

she nods and waves goodbye.

with that, i stand to leave.

walking slowly out of the cafe,

throwing away the cookie as i go out.

-*-

hello there, people! how was the second chapter of 12 months? february, the month of love... but not so much for poor sabrina here. :( and everyone, meet sabrina and blake! yey they have names! and for those who reads my other book "never not yours" i think you would all know who waverley is... ;)

phew. here's to a long chapter! this is about 2100++ words. :) i hope i didn't disappoint any of you. so please vote and comment! i would really love that.

thanks for reading!

-shadednights