A/N: Small caution - some suggestive language.

:/:

"So where did you scamper off to?" Missy asked The Doctor curiously, while he emptied a carrier bag of its contents. "That bloke you left me with didn't want to tell me".

"I took a job here", he replied, looking around for something to put the tuppaware boxes on, but then resolved to putting them on the containment field's floor. "As a lecturer".

"I bet they love that", laughed Missy.

"What? I thought I was quite a good public speaker".

"Oh honey. I had to sit through your presentation on transdimensional rifts. Trust me, you're not". They both sat down cross legged opposite each other and The Doctor opened one of the tuppaware, letting out a cloud of steam which smelt of various spices. "I thought you were bringing Chinese".

"This is Chinese. Chow mein?" he lilted to which Missy dubiously nodded and he put a generous amount on of it on a paper plate.

"I thought you were bringing meat, flesh, blood, not", she mumbled, picking at the noodles with a screwed-up face. "Vegetables".

"Well, you're going to kick that habit", The Doctor spoke calmly. "Humans are friends, not food, and all that".

"Then stop speaking to me like one of your students, Theta", Missy retorted, not being able to hold in her annoyance at both The Doctor's manner and the lack of meat in her meal. "I'm here to change, not be patronised for it".

"I'm sorry". Missy liked him grovelling, she had to make him do it more often. Though she was out of line, he was trying to help. No one else would. Sighing, she twirled a noodle around her plastic fork. It wasn't the greatest dining etiquette, in fact The Doctor probably got the cutlery and plates free from the takeaway.

"Don't be. It's just... I need an outlet".

"An outlet?"

"Yeah. Somewhere I can put all of the attention that I put into villainy"

"So, a hobby then"

"Oh don't call it that. It sounds so... Naive", Missy answered and nodded over to the plastic bag, which obviously had something else in it. "So what's the surprise that you've done no attempt to hide?"

"Ah. I thought you'd like a treat", he cheerfully exclaimed and walked over to where the bag stood on the bed. Carefully he pulled out two stout glasses and an amber bottle of whiskey.

"Tut, tut, tut. Drinking on a school night, Mr Sigma".

"Well, it's the good company", The Doctor laughed, pouring out two measures of the bottle's contents "And I'll be fine. This isn't my first rodeo".

"Sweetie, you're a complete lightweight".

"Perhaps", he lifted his glass to hers. "To looking to the future".

"And never looking back". Clinking their glasses together, The Doctor sipped his, while Missy gulped it down. The fiery liquid burned as it ran down her throat. She was against pretty much everything any inhabitant of Earth did, but this was one of their triumphs - actually making a drink that made even Missy shiver. Waiting for the effects of it to take place, she laid on her back, her hair spreading around her head. "So now that you've... Made the situation a little more flexible, how about that containment field?"

"We'll see", The Doctor answered with a small smile, which grew when Missy slunk across the floor and put her head on his lap. Putting his fingers through her hair, he ran his thumb across her cheek. Without warning him, she bolted upright and looked deep into his eyes.

"Look", she lulled in a slow murmur which contrasted to her quick manoeuvre to look at him. "There's something I need to tell you, and I don't want you to laugh at me".

"Missy, would I ever-?" he started, then she put a painted finger to his lips.

"No, no. Let me speak... Please", she continued, to which The Doctor silently nodded. "We've been friends for so long, Theta, so long. And I... I really am fond of you, I want you to know that. I know that we've had our arguments, and I know I've... Tried to kill you a few times, but I..." She wanted to say it. Wanted to scream it from the rooftops even. But there was just something in her that just kept saying 'No. Don't do it. You'll only cause yourself pain'.

"What?" The Doctor asked. Naive bugger. He hadn't figured it out yet. Missy looked up at him, realising that she had been staring at the floor. He looked like a inquisitive child in that moment, all doe-eyed and curious.

"Doesn't matter. It was nothing", Missy said in a louder voice than how she had been whispering. "I was... Mistaken".

"Hm", The Doctor hummed and Missy returned herself to back on his knee.

"So, what can't I do?" was her next question

"I'm sorry".

"You know, what bad things can't I commit to be good. How good do I have to be? Because, surely you must know that the line between good and evil is blurred. I mean, I'm not completely bad and you're not completely good".

"You tell me. What do you think is bad?"

"I suppose killing. Perhaps genocide if it wasn't a particularly annoying species", Missy thought out loud. "But still, what makes you good? Surely if you wipe out an entire race then you are a villain. At least to the race you wiped out. Or do you think that the Daleks think that you're a hero too?"

"I know I'm not a hero, Koschei. I'm far from it. But I think that if you're willing to be kind without hope, without witness and without reward, then I think that's the closest we can get to being 'good'". Missy chuckled at her friend's use of his phrase. God, if he said it one more time, she swore she would cut his tongue out.

"I'm going to have that put on your grave", Missy laughed, looking up at him. "I can see it now. 'The Doctor. Without Hope, Without Witness, Without Reward'.

"Ah well, let's not be morbid", The Doctor mumbled and got up, looking around the room.

"We all have to go sometimes, sweetheart. I mean, I can see it in you. How long have you worn that face? It's wearing a little thin".

"I'm not changing", he said quietly, looking down towards where Missy sat cross-legged on the floor. "Not again".

"Oh, come on. Don't be stubborn. It's part of our lives. You really think I like to regenerate? It's a whole new wardrobe to deal with".

"No, no. You don't get it. When you've changed, no one knows you. It's like you haven't existed for the last two thousand years, like everything, every sacrifice you've made, doesn't matter. Because however much you do, some other person is going to take your place".

"I don't get it?" she echoed, looking quite hurt. "Of all people, Doctor, I get it most of all. When I first saw you, you said to me that you didn't know me. And that... That hurt. That hurt a goddamn lot. I always knew you. No matter which face you wore, even the one with the funny bowtie, I knew you. You were still you".

"I thought I lost you in the Time War. I looked for you for months on Gallifrey, but nothing. I grieved for you". Missy paused for a moment, running her eyes over The Doctor's face trying to read him. She could tell he was telling the truth. Though he prided himself on being a good liar, she could always tell. At least with this face. It was his eyes. They would dart downwards then rise again slowly like blue sunrises.

"Come down here".

"Why?"

"Because you're cricking my neck, you big bampot". The Doctor did as she asked and sat awkwardly beside her, his long legs twisting and unfurling. "Theta, talk to me".

"One word, Koschei. That's all I needed to know you were okay. To know that you weren't... You know".

"I was angry and frightened and I thought that, after everything with, well, me bringing Gallifrey to Earth that you wouldn't ever want to see me again. I thought I had ruined us". It was Missy's turn now to look away, tears encircling her defiant eyes. She was not going to be weak. Lifting her head to meet The Doctor's she forced the tears to retreat back, putting her front back on.

"Truce?" The Doctor asked, putting his hand out for Missy to shake it. "I'll stop being a stubborn ass..."

"If I learn to not be such an isolated bugger", Missy finished, and shook his hand. "You have yourself a deal".

"Drink?" Theta enquired, heading for the bottle which sat on the bed.

"At this rate we'll finish the bottle by about nine", Missy commented. Obviously during their conversation they had siphoned quite a lot of the whiskey, as it was now three-quarters empty.

"Good job I brought another one then, isn't it?" he answered. Time Lord's biology meant that they would need twice as much to get, as humans called it, drunk, but they could still get intoxicated all the same. In fact, The Doctor was feeling rather tipsy. Maybe Missy was right - he was a lightweight. Returning to where he sat, he suddenly felt rather open. Like he wanted to tell Missy everything he felt about her. Feeling rather adventurous, he removed the glass from his lips.

"I love you, Koschei", he said towards the containment field, and caught Missy's wide-eyed reaction in the corner of his eye. She settled after a moment and smiled into her lap like a girl that had been asked to prom. "I- I hope you know that".

Missy's mind was racing. She could say it back. It would be so easy. But what would the consequences be? No, she was not going to be weak. The child on Gallifrey she used to be could afford to be, because they knew that Theta would come running to her rescue and vice versa. He was a different man now. A lonely god, who probably didn't have time anymore.
"Quite right too", was her answer, which she immediately regretted. She didn't want to see his reaction, so continued to stare into her lap. "I'm sorry, Theta. That was uncalled for. But you know that I can't say it back".

"W-Why not?"

"Because I'd be opening myself up. I'd be cracking open two hearts that haven't been open for many hundred years. I'd be leaving myself open to being weak. I- I don't want to be weak".

"Koschei, you are the strongest creature I know, the smartest, the most beautiful, and if there is one thing I know, it's that you aren't weak".

"You are the one I hold dearest, Theta, and all I want is for us to be together, but I can't say what you want me to. I can't go back to being your mistress that you leave behind everytime you find someone new".

"Because you're afraid of being weak for it?" Missy nodded. "The only thing stronger than you, my dear, is this whiskey, which we're running out of quite quickly".

"Wait, aren't you angry?" she asked, confused. When she played this out in her head, she expected him to scream and curse. Because it was a stupid excuse. Yes it was part of the reason, she didn't exactly want to be held down by romantic entanglement, but she was afraid most of all. She was afraid that she wouldn't be good enough for the great and powerful Doctor, and that she would just be his thing on the side until he found another human pet to take under his wing.

"I'm not. Because I know that that's not the reason. The Missy I know would not care what people thought and would certainly not think of a relationship as weak. You'd think of it as someone to rule over, to have power over", The Doctor leaned over to put a hand on her's. "So what is it?"

"I'm not good enough for you", she said quietly. Theta laughed, emphasising the surprise in his tone. "Don't laugh, I'm serious".

"Missy, don't you know? All this time, all I've been thinking is that I'm not good enough for you. You're far above me in all sense of the idea and I've been running myself ragged trying to keep up with you".

"Why do you bother?" Missy enquired, knowing the answer, but wanting him to say it again so she could get the answer right this time.

"Because... do you really think I care so little for you that I wouldn't? You're my closest friend, my ally and I love you to Gallifrey and back", The Doctor said without pause and then realised how cheesy what he said was.

"I... I feel the same way", Missy replied and took hold of his hand, then pulled herself towards him, crashing her lips into his in a heated embrace. Seconds felt like minutes as they explored each other's mouths and Missy's hands made their way into The Doctor's silver curls. Breathing in his scent, she wanted to breathe it forever, all lightning, petrichor and stardust. "Theta... Theta", she whispered, parting her lips from his and holding the sides of his face. "Stay with me. Stay with me, please. I... I need you. Please... Fix me".

"I'll fix you if you do the same for me. I'm not going anyway. Me and you, always", he answered in a murmured and continued their kiss.

:/:
She was poison, he knew that. She would poison his world and take everything that he held dear from him. So why did he turn schizophrenic from just the cold touch of her fingertips? Why couldn't he stop thinking of her?

The answer was simple: he had managed to fall head over heels in love with a murdering monster. And he couldn't tell if it was the rather vast amount of whiskey that he had swung back, but he couldn't help the feeling of complete bliss as he watched her nuzzle her head into his shoulder and toy with the buttons on his shirt. Shooting her eyes upwards with a playful look dancing behind her ice-blue irises, a small smile spreading across her face. Her nude lipstick no longer painted her lips; in fact it covered The Doctor's face more than her own. It took him a few moments to work out her intention, but then returned the smile.

"So that's 'ow ya want it?" he murmured, the alcohol making his Scottish accent bleed into his words.

"D'you want it too?"

"I've never been so sure about somethin' in all my lives".

"Well then, wha' are ya waitin' for?"

:/:

The rest of the night was an alcohol-induced blur, which Missy wanted to remember, but found herself not being able to the following day. All she could remember was one moment, breathing in his scent and wanting to stay in his arms forever. Waking to the containment field ceiling above her, she looked around her and noticed firstly The Doctor laying beside her. His grey curls were wildly disorganised and his clothes, apart from his question mark underpants, were deposited in a heap in the corner. Her own clothes were there as well, and she quickly threw them on, then turned her attention to Theta.

"Well, that's suggestive", Missy thought to herself and leaned over to check his pulse. Yep, he was still going. Though he seemed completely and utterly out of it, comotosed. Missy spied an opportunity. Walking over to where The Doctor's jacket that was unceremoniously dumped in a pile, she dove into the pocket and took his sonic screwdriver, which glowed green in her fingertips. Pointing it at the containment field power source which stood just outside the one column. She had been scoping it out for a while, knew where all the panels for the different functions of the prison was. Prison. It sounded like such an awful word. But that's where she belonged. And however many times The Doctor called it 'rehabilitation', it never sunk in. The blue ray around her dropped suddenly and a maleficent smile crossed her face. One door and she would be free. Free to roam as she pleased...

So what was stopping her?

Doubt, as per usual. It had been a defect she had developed when she met The Doctor, forever doubting whether he was one step ahead or not. When he woke, he'd see she was gone. Whatever trust he had in her which made him save her, would be broken. She would never see him again, let alone be on the same side. Huffing, she walked towards the door, then spun on her heels and collapsed into his armchair. At least she would make a point that he couldn't keep her in one place for so long. She still couldn't remember the night before, just an awful lot of consumption, but then a single voice spoke in her head, a flashback to a perfect moment just hours before.

"I'll fix you if you do the same for me. I'm not going anyway. Me and you, always".

Looking ahead at The Doctor, she didn't realise she was smiling. She couldn't screw this up again. Not like so many others: Lucy, Ashildr, Clara even. No. This was her final chance with Theta and she was going to take it.

She was going to prove herself.

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A/N 2: So sorry for this being so late. Been in hospital for the past week so schedule got thrown out of sync - L x