#TooMuchOfEverything

"Too much euphoria is perfect madness and destructive reality is melancholia."

-x-

How can something be defined as too much? When it hurts too much the pain starts to feel numb? When too much happiness hurts like a bitch? A song once said, too much of everything is too much, and maybe it's fucking true because Jhing's dysmenorrhea was killing her the first week of the first month of 2016.

Welcoming the New Year? Too much. . .fucking. . .pain!

"Sakit ng puson ko." She kept on clutching her stomach.

Miko asked,"Mayroon ka?"

"Hindi. Wala. Nagpatuli ako."

"Ay oo!" said Miko that made people near their table looked at them. "Sobrang sakit talaga yan lalo na kapag yung karayom tinusok na sa bala—"

Jhing cut him off. "SHUT UP!"

"Weird, halos 1 week pa lang kayong magkasama sa lunch out," Facio commented. "Hindi ko na malaman kung masaya ba kayong magkasama kayo o masaya kayong malapit na kayong magpatayan."

"Okay, Yayo and Fall need to know this," July whispered, typing something on her phone.

Jhing wanted to stand up, raise her hand, look up and shout, take me Lord! but maybe next time when there's no pain anymore. Fucking cramps and being a woman.

People in the book team were surprised Miko and Jhing were talking to each other; rather, were close. Their closeness may or may not started when Jhing dragged Miko to the doctor for check-up. Nalaman kasi niyang 2 years ago pa ang UTI spiel ni Miko, and the doctor back then wasn't too sure dahil masakit lang ang tiyan nito at nagsuka – like what happened to Miko in the Year End Party.

Kahit hassle magpabalik-balik sa doktor at test at ipaalala kay Miko na uminom ng gamot, at least Jhing didn't felt lonely that Christmas week.

He was her distraction from reality.

"Walang problema kay Crux, siguro dahil sa pagpupuyat at trabaho, na-low blood," the doctor had said. "Vitamins lang ng iron, bawiin ang tulog, magpahinga at huwag pabayaan ang health. Kumain din sa tamang oras para hindi nabibigla ang tiyan mo sa mga kinakain."

Miko even joked and patted his stomach. "Ito talagang tiyan ko kasi Doc, rich kid. Tinatanggap lang 'yung lobster, caviar, mga medium rare steak, ganun."

Both the doctor and Miko laugh but Jhing didn't. Sinermunan pa nga niya after consultation. "Bakit hindi mo inaalagan sarili mo?" Jhing poked Miko's bags under his eyes. "Tsaka anong dala mo d'yan, laptop?"

"Hindi. Desktop na 25.1 inch monitor tapos Asus tat—" Miko laughed at Jhing's sudden change of mood. Biglang naging passive. Afraid of Jhing's poker face, Miko nudged her in the shoulder and said, "Para ikaw na mag-alaga sa akin."

"Kung itulak kaya kita sa riles ng tren." She pushed Miko kaya biglang may bumusinang kotse sa gilid.

Agad tumabi si Miko, saving his own life from Jhing's hand. "Huwag na sa riles. Lakasan mo lang tulak mo, kotse na ikamamatay ko, eh," he said, looking at the cars on the road.

Jhing, even if it was tempting, didn't push Miko on the road. Baka kasi siya pa ang magbayad ng car damages so. . nevermind. After that, Miko kept on bugging Jhing – and she let him.

A few days after, Miko was proud of himself when Yayo asked him what the spelling of his name is. Baka raw kasi i-consider na pangalan ng anak. It was an absurd idea, Jhing thought. But how can she debate with a pregnant woman crushing like a teenage girl?

"Proud ka na n'yan," Jhing commented. Dahil sa dami ng gawain; author signings, events, and publishing books, nag-overtime siya para makahabol sa deadline. Miko did too.

"Oo naman," Miko said with a smug. "Cool kaya, Melchizedek din pangalan nung anak niya."

"Babae anak ni Ate Yayo," said Jhing. Nag-text din sa kanya si July na nanganak na si Ate Yayo that night.

"Eh di Melchizedeka pangalan, problema ba 'yun?"

"Kadiri naman."

Miko laughed but made a face. "Sakit. Grabe. Hindi na nga ako nakanood ng Ayala Lights—"

"Excuse me," Jhing cut him.

"You're excused."

Umirap si Jhing. "Hindi mo napanood 'yung Ayala lights kasi may sakit ka. Kung inaalagan mo lang sarili mo at wala kang sakit, kaladkarin pa kita papuntang Triangle para isabit sa puno para makiisa ka sa mga Christmas lights."

"Naks." He placed his elbow on Jhing's chair. "Dahil ba 'yan sa I brighten your dark world?"

"Bumalik ka na nga sa pwesto mo," Jhing said and pushed Miko.

Dahil nakaupo ito sa computer chair, nag-slide ito paatras. Lalapit pa sana ito when Miss Zue walked towards them and asked if they'll be staying for a little while.

"Sige Ma'am," Miko said. "May tinatanong lang ako sa Novella niya para hindi na hassle sa email." Miko went back to his place and continued his illustrations. When Jhing got tired editing, she went to Facebook and started scrolling down until a video caught her attention. Jhing smiled at her idea and called Miko.

"Oy."

Miko looked at her. "Bakit?"

"Ikaw ba tawag ko?"

Miko dragged himself and the computer chair towards Jhing. "Anong mayroon?"

"Hindi naman ikaw tinawag ko."

"Yeah, right. Sa akin ka nakatingin nung nag-oy ka." He smirked. "Tsaka ako lang din naman tatawagin mo kasi namimiss mo na ako."

Hindi na nakipag-argue si Jhing at pinlay ang video na pinost ni Fall. It was a minute video of the Ayala Triangle Christmas Lights. The lights danced with the music. The whole time they were watching the video, Jhing saw Miko's smile.

"Ayan na ah, napanood mo na," Jhing said after the video.

"Oo nga." His smile widened. "Tapos kasama pa kita,"

Jhing ignored her traitor heart's beating. Good thing Miko left when Jhing pushed him again. Nag-scroll down ulit siya then back to the latest news. Miko commented on Fall's post.

Miko † ba yan magvivideo na lang bitin na nga, pixelated pa! hulog kita dyan eh

Fall Ying ibablock kita pakyu ka nakikinood na lang e

Miko † ( 'థ౪థ)σ''ﾞ

Sam Wer HALA ANKYUT NUNG EMOTICON SAAN PO YAN MAKUKUHA

Miko † seen

Sam Wer PO?

Fall Ying lololololol

Jhing shook her head and smile as she clicked Miko's account. Sumisigaw ang add as a friend button sa mga mata niya. His profile was private. Walang kahit anong ma-stalk. Her heart started to race when she hover on the add as a friend button.

To click or not to click, that was the dreaded question.

Until a voice from behind made her jump. Nag-panic siya and before she could stop herself, she pushed the restart button. face paled as she closed her eyes and tried to breathe properly.

Do not cry, Jhing.

She saved that 30 pages edit.

This happened to her a lot of time. First was an accident, second, a mistake, and third was stupidity. She sure hoped she wasn't stupid enough to not save the document. Please.

"Anong nangyari?" Miko asked from behind her.

Jhing calmed herself down, took her bag and stood up. "Aalis na ko."

"Sabay na ako."

"Ano pa nga ba."

Miko smirked as he followed Jhing. Dahil ang tagal ng elevator, Jhing decided to use the stairs. Sumunod din si Miko. Never in Jhing's thoughts they will be this civil; her and him – too civil that maybe, they're like friends, close with comfort and familiarity.

But gods! Her manuscript. Bahala na nga.

During the walking down the stairs, Miko told the story of his friend Marco – yung lalaking mukhang matino na kasama naming sumayaw ni Ulysses – who fell in love with his student. Jhing wanted to comment, but who was she to judge?

Pagkalabas ng building, pinatong ni Miko ang braso sa balikat ni Jhing – parang tropa. "Malapit na birthday mo, ah?" he said. "Saan tayo?"

"Anong saan?" she asked. "Walang celebration."

Miko frowned. "Bakit naman? Dapat sinecelebrate ang iyong pagdadalaga!"

It was scary how Jhing felt comfortable with Miko's craziness.

"Saturday 'yun, rest day. Matutulog lang ako buong araw."

But Miko didn't let that happen, silly Jhing.

Saturday morning, a knock from Jhing's door woke her up. Agad niyang naisip ang KFC breakfast and she was right. Ngiting-ngiti ang delivery guy sa kanya as he handed the paperbag. Before she closed her door, biglang may kamay na pumasok at naipit kaya napasigaw si Jhing sa sigaw ng boses ng lalaki. Halos maiyak si Miko, hinipan ang kamay at ginalaw-galaw sa sakit.

Questions such as What the fuck, what the hell? and MIKO?! flooded her mind but she ended up voicing, "anong kinakana-kana mo?"

Miko bit his lip and shook his hand. "Ang sakit, tae. Bakit kapag sa mga movies ang romantic kapag pinigilan isara 'yung pintuan?"

He was fucking crazy.

Jhing laughed at Miko. Natawa rin si Miko sa kalokohan as he entered Jhing's apartment without asking if he could. He took the paper bag and was the one who prepared the food.

"Hindi ka nagsasawa sa KFC breakfast," Jhing commented as she sat down.

"Sarap, eh."

"Point taken."

After eating their steak bow and chocolate chip pancakes, Miko placed his finger under his nose and wrinkled it. "Nangangamoy ka na. Kailan pa huling ligo mo?"

"WOW!"

"Maligo ka na," he said. Jhing didn't move. "Dali. Ligo na! Papaliguan pa kita gusto mo? Willing naman akong mag-volunteer. Magdamit ka nang maayos ah, magpaganda ka."

She didn't like taking orders from Miko pero ano pa nga bang gagawin niya? Together with her clothes, she went to the CR. When the cold water made her shiver, Miko shouted.

"Jhing!" She didn't reply so he continued, "kanta ka naman d'yan! Boring, eh."

dyuskolord

Bihis na siya pagkalabas ng CR. Miko was lying on her bed with eyes fixed on the ceiling. Her apartment was the same with his studio; empty. A house but not a home. Nganga tuloy ito.

When Miko saw her, bumangon ito "Sa wakas tapos ka na rin!" He took something from his bag, a present, not neatly wrapped with a big ribbon on top.

"Regalo ko sa'yo."

"Bakit?"

"January 23 ngayon, di ba?" Miko asked, looked at his phone to make sure. "O tama ako, birthday mo. Nalimutan mo ba? Buksan mo na."

The gift was obvious: a picture frame. Pero dahil enthusiastic ang pagmumukha ni Miko, she peeled off the wrapper, taking care not to ruin the big ribbon, and stared at the frame.

It was a realistic drawing of her doing a face palm.

Jhing didn't know what to react. Na-overwhelm ba siya dahil kahawig niya 'yung drawing o maiinis dahil naka-face palm siya sa drawing? "Dapat ba akong ma-touch dito?"

"Depende," Miko said. "Pag na-touch ka. . ." He pointed at his cheek and smiled.

Nanliit ang mata niya. Kinuha niya ang malaking ribbon mula sa wrapper at tinulak sa noo ni Miko. "Salamat."

Miko looked like a gift with a ribbon on his forehead. A gift for her – na isasauli ni Jhing sa pinanggalingan dahil defected.

Kinuha ni Miko ang frame at dinisplay sa may lutuan. "Para kapag nagugutom ka, nakikita mo sarili mong mag-face palm," he said. Then he pulled her out of the apartment. When she asked where they're going, he simply said, "kanila Mama."

Her heart jumped. "Ha?"

"Samahan mo ako," he pleaded. "Ikaw magsabi sa kanila na naging busy tayo sa office kaya hindi ako nakauwi sa bahay last year. Baka hindi maniwala sa akin, eh."

"Sinungaling. Bakit hindi mo sabihin na nagkasakit ka?"

"Kasi po, OA si Mama." He sighed. "Last na nagbalita akong may sakit ako, 'yung baka UTI daw sakit ko? Tinanong na niya size ko para makabili ng barong at biglang umiyak. Ma-mi-miss daw niya ako."

Agad natawa si Jhing. "The fuck?"

"Sabog nga Nanay ko malay ko kung saan nagmana."

Jhing wondered saan nga ba as they rode a jeepney. Nagtaka lang siya nang dalhin siya ni Miko sa mall, toysRus, to be exact.

"Bakit tayo nandito?" she asked.

"May bibilhin lang ako para kay Neph."

Jhing shrugged and followed Miko. Her eyes roamed around, and smiled when she saw an older girl gave a doll to the smaller one. When the dad lifted the older one and both laughed, Jhing looked away. Nanikip ang dibdib niya.

Sunod lang si Jhing kay Miko until she saw an aisle of Baymax stuffed toys. She hugged one that made a kid beside her, holding another Baymax, look at her with weirded expression. Or amazement. She wasn't sure.

"Sarap yakapin ni Baymax," Jhing commented and looked at Miko. "Mag-Baymax ka sa next Halloween Party para matuwa naman ako sa existence mo."

"Hala?" Miko laughed. "Nahiya ka pa. Sabihin mo na lang kung gusto mo ako yakapin." He spread his arms, waiting for the hug. Jhing stared, Miko continued. "Ready naman ako kahit kailan mo gusto."

Napatingin na ang ilan sa kanila dahil naka-spread ang braso nito. "What the. . ."

"Malambot ako, promise."

Still, she stared. Not sure if she should smile or be weirded out.

"Ay teka. Hard rock abs nga pala. Oks lang naman sayo yun, di ba?"

"Ewan ko sa'yo."

"Pero. . .totoo naman—"

Napatingin si Jhing nang itaas kaunti ni Miko ang shirt. Well, he didn't have rock hard abs. But no tabs neither. Saktong katawan lang; a built that was toned a year ago tapos nagkalaman. Pagbaba ni Miko ng shirt, he smiled.

"Huwag masyadong titigan. Shy type 'yung abs ko." He laughed. Jhing's cheeks felt burning and walked away. Binalik na rin niya ang stuffed toy dahil nakakaiyak ang presyo. Miko followed her. "Kaya hindi nagpapakita, eh."

Nagpunta sila sa counter para bayaran ang isang doll.

"Wala naman kasi kaya hindi nagpapakita."

"Shy type nga," pagpilit ni MIko.

"Ge lang. Push."

Natawa na lang si Miko. After the mall, they rode a taxi for an hour. Pagtigil sa tapat ng isang bahay – not too small, not too big – Jhing gave her half for the taxi fee.

"KKB 'to," she said.

"Libre ko na."

Jhing frowned. "Akala ko ba kapag ikaw ang kasama KKB dapat?"

Parang mali. . .why did she said that? Miko said that line when he was still new – months ago! And she. . .

"You remembered!" Miko laughed. "Sa susunod ikaw manlilibre sa akin. Sa ngayon, hayaan mo muna akong patunayan that chivalry is not dead."

The driver of the taxi laughed. Masaya si Miko na benta ito sa iba.

Jhing was nervous when Miko knocked at the door. The door was opened by a woman, a lot younger than Jhing expected; maybe in her mid-40's. Agad siyang niyakap nito.

"Manugang!"

"Ma!" Si Miko ang humila sa Mama niya. "Si Jhing 'yan, katrabaho ko lang! Anong manugang?"

"Excited lang." His Mom playfully pushed his shooulder. "Ikaw naman."

Napangiwi si Miko. Jhing and Miko looked at each other and Jhing laughed at Miko's embarrassment. Hindi siya sigurado kung bakit pumayag siyang magpunta sa lugar ni Miko pero mas okay na ito than to spend her whole birthday alone in her apartment.

Miko's Mom was accommodating, to the point she neglected her own son for Jhing. She gave foods and drinks, kulang na lang paliguan na rin nito si Jhing sa sobrang pag-alaga. As they ate their lunch, Jhing saw a series of photos on artistically placed on the wall.

A guy who looked like Miko, only older. His father.

But no one said anything about the father until the lunch ended.

And Jhing didn't ask.

"O kids," said Miko's Mom. "Sa taas lang ako at mag-pe-paint, okay lang kayo rito?"

Jhing was all smile dahil ang kulit ng Mama ni Miko. She even gave them stick-o before going up stairs. Agad kinuha ni Jhing ang stick-o mula kay Miko at nilantakan 'yon. They got bored with the TV programs so they ended up binge watching a series: American Horror Story.

When the story got too intense, and all the lights were off – Miko almost screamed like a girl when someone opened the door with messy long hair, small petite body and a cellphone in hand, the light of the screen reflecting on her face from the bottom.

"Pucha, Neph! Bakit mukha kang sadako!"

Neph didn't say a word and ran upstairs with her bag and highschool uniform.

"Sungit talaga," Miko commented and looked at Jhing who was still munching at the stick-o. "Pagpasensyahan mo na 'yun, ah. Masungit."

Jhing rolled her eyes.

Miko frowned. "Bakit ko nga ba sinabi 'yun," he murmured. "Parehas nga pala kayo."

A few minutes after, nagulat sila Jhing at Miko nang magbukas ang ilaw. Muntik pang atakihin sa puso Miko dahil nasa likuran na nila si Neph, but his sister ignored him – mas tinuon nito ang tingin kay Jhing na nagpapirma ng libro.

"Hala?" Miko said. "Bakit may ganyan ka?"

Neph smiled at Jhing. "Salamat po sa pirma!"

Miko was still in shock, looking at Jhing. "Bakit ang bait niya sa'yo?" then to Neph. "Marunong ka nang mag-po, Liit?!"

Still, Neph ignored him. Jhing laughed as she whispered, "good job," which made the younger sister smile.

While having dinner, Miko's Mom and Neph were busy asking questions to Jhing until MIko called his sister. Neph looked at her brother, brow raised.

Gods, Jhing's liking Neph already.

Miko started. "Alam mo ba 'yung crush mo. . ."

"Sino?"

"Si Coco."

"O? Anong mayroon?"

Jhing studied Neph. Nakataas ang kilay, patingin-tingin sa phone, at mukhang masungit pero nangingiti. Cute.

Mas lumawak ang ngiti ni Miko. "Si Coco kasi nagpunta sa studio may sinamang babae tapos chicks—"

Muntik ibato ni Neph ang hawak na phone sa kuya but their mom stopped her.

"Neph! Huwag mong batuhin yung phone mo baka masira 'yan!"

Wait, what? Sa phone talaga nag-alala?!

Jhing wanted to laugh. Mukha tuloy siyang baliw nang tingnan siya ng tatlo nang nagtataka dahil napakagat labi siya. She shook her head and bowed. Hindi niya mapigilan ang ngiti.

She loved the family.

Miko gave a pained expression jokingly. "Hindi man lang kayo mag-alala sa mukha ko? Ito magdadala ang apelido natin."

No one listened to Miko, and Jhing was enjoying every second of her stay. Tapos nag-usap ulit sila na parang walang nangyari. It was the family she wanted to have; yung masaya, close at chill lang. Naiinggit siya, but Jhing was happy – ecstatic – to be with the Crux family.

The last birthday she was all smiles . . . she couldn't remember anymore. It was a good thing her 24th birthday will be worth remembering a year after.

Hinayaan ni Jhing mag-usap si Miko at ang Mama nito sa hapagkainan bago umuwi. Miko looked serious from where she was sitting at the sofa. She couldn't hear their voices, but she saw Miko's angry face. He breathed and drank water before talking to his mother again. A few minutes after, Jhing's heart melted when Miko kissed his mother's forehead. Tapos pinitik ang noo ng kapatid.

Adik talaga.

Before going out of the house, they heard Neph. "Yung stick-o ko?!"

Miko pointed at Jhing. "Inubos niya. Sabi ko nga huwag kasi sa'yo 'yun, eh."

"Hala? Hindi mo sinabi!" Jhing said. "Oh shit, sorry—"

"Okay lang Ate!" Mula sa galit, agad napangiti si Neph which made Miko shocked. "Ibibili ko pa po kayo pag nakabalik kayo dito."

Miko was out of words when Neph hugged Jhing and he got a sticking of tongue.

Habang naglalakad papuntang kanto, Miko glared at Jhing. "Ginayuma mo ba pamilya ko nang hindi ko alam?"

Jhing smiled, may after effect pa siya sa nakakatuwang feeling. "Baka mas prefer nila ako kaysa sa'yo." He placed her hand on his shoulder and shook her head dramatically. "It's okay, Mik—ah!" Napaatras si Jhing dahil may ipis na biglang dumaan. Nangilabot agad siya.

And wow, Miko ignored the cockroach like a man.

"Hindi ka takot sa ipis?"

Miko grimaced. "Ang gasgas naman nun, Jhing. Mga lalaking-lalaki tapos takot sa ipis? Sus."

But Miko's manliness ended too soon when a flying cockroach landed on his neck. "Ay puta!" He kept on moving, getting rid of the cockroach. Tinapaktapakan pa ang ipis habang nagpapanic.

Ooh, Jhing's poor stomach. Couldn't handle too much laughter.

"Akala ko ba hindi ka takot?"

"Ikaw kaya dapuan ng ipis?" Miko asked, his eyes wide. "Paano kung pumasok sa tainga ko 'yun tapos maging Ipis Man ako? Ayaw kong maging tagapangtanggol ng mundo. Hassle!"

Jhing, for the nth time, laughed harder at Miko's silliness – and so did Miko. Sa tagal nang hindi tumawa masyado ni Jhing, nanakit agad ang panga niya at tiyan. She was going to die of laughter. C'mon, she needed to stop but she can't.

Masyado siyang masaya. The best birthday ever!

Then her phone vibrated.

In writing stories, a phone call can do things: disturb a heated battle, a pause for something extravagant, give new information or bad news to raise a new conflict.

As for Jhing, she was too sure her life wasn't written by her because if she did, that man won't be involved in the story, or in a phone call that will shatter her life. Again and again and again.

"Ate," her brother's voice, shaking. She had no idea that the next few words would put her happiest birthday into an end. How can he kept on doing this shit to her? "Si Tatay. Sinugod sa ospital."

Too much.

___ unedited

Hi. AFGITMOLFM was nominated in #FRCA2015 under Young Adult Category! Kung nabasa niyo na sila ianne, nate at art and you think they deserve to be in the final 3 thingy - hihingin ko po sana ang boto niyo:

LINK: http://on.fb.me/1fV5ZBX

or LINK: http://tinyurl.com/AFG-FRCA15

or click external link (pilosopotasya page)

Every unique vote will be much appreciated. It's now on the 4th place so keep on voting! Ask your friends, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends vote AFGITMOLFM under Young Adult Categ. MARAMING THANK YOU!!! :D