Day of Disbanding Announcement

"So yes?" He asks. I look at him. "We need an answer Namjoon." I stare at them. "I understand that, but today I have a lot to worry about. It would be really helpful if I would be able to make a decision after the announcement." I tell him.

"We had given you a whole week Namjoon, what? Is it that you don't want to commit to it?" My eyebrows knit. "I'm going through a crisis here, I had to sleep in the dorm with half of the group not there, it didn't feel good at all. Most of them already got a place of their own. And I'm just here, this is a lot to take in." I explain, I take a deep breath and calm down.

"If you just give me after the announcement, I will surely give you the answer." I finish. "Good, we'll be expecting it." He says shooing me away with his hand. Shouldn't he be on his way to leave too? He had to be there, he's one of our managers. But, I just bow to him and head out of the office.

I walk back to the dorm and everyone is in the living room getting ready to leave. No body is saying anything. "Made your decision already?" Hoseok asks. "Why are you always causing problems?" I ask. "Why can't you just own up to it?", "Own up to what? There's nothing to own up to, you all already know that I was offered to go single."

I had everyone's eyes now. "All of you already know that, so what's the point of me telling you? Huh? Does it really matter? And how come I'm the one being attacked when Yoongi is doing the damn same thing?" I ask. I just get stares, not one answer.

The van driver come over behind me, "We're ready." He says. Without another word I walk after him and I don't look back. We all load up in the van and on the ride to the interview, it's dead silent. Realization has hit all of us, Bangtan is no more. We can all be normal now.

When we get to the venue we all get off and head inside. Instantly there are cameras flashing, we can hear fans calling for us. Maybe even crying, why? We're giving them what they want. There's nothing they can do about it now, its official, they should be happy. We all bow, being that we don't need to say our greeting anymore. Right after we sit at the long table,

Instantly, because I'm the leader I'm attacked with questions. I only answer the ones that I hear. "Kim Namjoon! Is it true the group splitting up!?" A broadcaster asks out loud. "Yes." I state firmly. "Is it because you're not getting paid enough!?" I don't know about the guys, but I'm instantly pissed. Money? Why is everything about money? I'm really tired of this money shit.

I'm right about to answer when Taehyung answers. "Our financial status are not involved with the break up of the group. We, as a unit have decided that keeping the band isn't stable for many reasons." He says, I nod in agreement. "And what are those reasons V?" The interviewers ask. Taehyung takes a look down the line of all of us, before he clears his throat.

"There is too much pressure on us, unable to go out without fans seeing us. Although we love our fans with all our heart, its just very tiring sometimes. We hope ARMY can understand our decision." Voices higher again. "Will any of you be coming back to BIGHIT in the future?" leaves the croud. "No, but Min Yoongi is going single and will be coming out with a mix tape soon. And we support him 100%. As we are sure all ARMY will." Jimin says.

But I'm not mentioned, which is fine because I'm not even sure that I'd be going single right away.

"Min Yoongi!!? Is that true!?" The broadcasters call out. I look over at him to see him nod. "Yes. BIGHIT has offered to keep me, so you will be seeing more of me, coming out with a mix tape soon called Agust D." He bows his head. "Was your experience with the band great for you?" Is asked out from the croud. We all look at each other. "Yes. The experience was great. Met a lot of people and we love our fans.. But I have to focus on my wife and my family."

"Jungkook!! Do you plan on returning after you've finished expanding your family?" Jungkook makes a face, making it very clear that he's not planning on coming back into this industry. He's not even able to answer the first question when another question is thrown at him. "Is Jungkooks departure due to his family the reason for the groups split?" I'm mad, as I'm sure that everyone else is as well. I look over and Jungkook is pissed.

"Look. Just because Jungkook is married and has a family doesn't mean he's the reason for the break up. We have all decided that NOT keeping the group and going our sperate ways is best for all of us." I speak up. "ARMY and everyone else has to realize that my hyungs and I gave a good chunck of our lives to them, and personally I believe I deserve a life of my own as do the other members, and fame no longer fits into it. For the safety of my family and myself." Jungkook says.

"Any last words for your fans?" We all look at each other. "We all apologize on behalf of our decision to not carry on with our employment with the BIGHIT company." I say. "But we do love all ARMY everywhere. And the company brought us to places and have made us who we are today." Jimin says. "We'll never forget you." Hoseok finally says. Which I'm surprised he didn't go off about the situation.

"Is there any experiences you wished was different?" Jin looks uneasy in his seat. "I wish that the love though out the group was equal." He says. The voices go up. "What do you mean!?" Is heard clearly. "I mean that the ones who got more recognition and love from many fans were the Maknae line and not the rest of us. Which felt like it wasn't fair to the other four of us at all. At times it was very disrespectful and caused a lot of problems when it came to other things." He says.

Finally someone said it, who ever that reporter was had the one million dollar question. And I just made a big ass hurricane. The voices go up. "Is jealousy a reason for the band break up!?" I become upset, maybe it was that. But neither of us are strong enough to admit it. Jealousy isn't the best thing to admit in this industry.

"I do not wish to answer further more questions." Seokjin stands up, bows and walks out. The rest of us follow and the interview is over, shortest interview ever. Voices higher and there are a lot of flashes because of paparazzi. I pull on my face mask as I'm about to go out. I notice Yoongi going the other way.

"Yoongi." I call him. He turns. "Where are you going?" I ask. "Aye, something happened with the girl I'm in love with. Her mother is in the hospital." He says. I grin. "It's your life now Yoongi, you don't have to worry about us telling you anything. You go and do you." I nod. He smiles. "Thanks Namjoon, I might see you another day." I nod. "Take care of yourself." I say. "You too." And he runs off to one of the escort cars, I watch him drive off like the speed of light.

I step back into line with the guys as everyone gets in the van. "Jungkook Oppa! Jimin Oppa! Taehyung Oppa!!" Fans yell outside our van. "Where's Yoongi?" Seokjin asks. "He went somewhere. He took the escort car though." I say. He nods to me. "Funny how they only cheer for the Maknae line. Maybe you three should just make a group. I'm sure it would be a huge hit." I hear Hoseok.

Jungkook turns around. "Shut up Hoseok!" The other boys turn and shoot Hoseok dirty glares. I think equally, we've all had enough of all this shit Hoseok had been saying. "Don't fucken tell me to shut up Jungkook. Just cause you think your all manly now, doesn't give you the damn right to yell at me." Hoseok spits. Jungkook just rolls his eyes and turns around.

About a week ago, we were okay, for maybe another day or so before it started up again. We can't live like this, and now we won't have to. "You don't understand that we hate that all of you think there's only love for the Maknae line." Jimin says. Oh, come on! I let out a rude chuckle.

"Cause its true. What? You want us to lie?" I ask. "You're caught in a lie Namjoon." Jimin says. "Shut up with your stupid song references." Hoseok spits. "Exactly why you have no Jams." I say under my breath. "You know what Namjoon!? I'm fucken tired of you telling me that! What does that even fucken mean!?" Jimin yells.

The van finally starts to move away from the fans that only yelled three names. "I'm glad we gave the fans what they wanted." Taehyung says. "Yeah. They don't have to worry about untalented people being in the group anymore, since we're insignificant to Bangtan." Seokjin says. It's quiet for a while, only the sound of the vans engine could be heard. "I still can't believe we did this.." Jungkook says. "We'll all still be friends right?" Hoseok asks.

"I hate that we let them do this to us." Jimin whispers. My head began to hurt from all this anger and sadness, all these bipolar feelings. "It was too much pressure." Seokin say. Hoseok pats his back. "The ranting and the tweeting and the hate was too much." Hoseok says, and I knew he was the one who was most effected by this, as was Seokjin. "You don't understand how much this hurt us too Hoseok." Jungkook says. "All of you are family.. And we should have stuck it out till the end and ignored everyone." I say. 

"How much longer were we supposed to go on with this?" Hoseok asks. "We went all tour with it, and a month more I would have just dropped everything and left." He says. "I would have walked out with you hobi." Jimin says. "If you would have walked out, all of us would have." Seokjin say. "So what does this make us?" Jungkook asks. "Strong." Taehyung says, though I can tell he was the least strongest out of all of us.

He had gotten into the habit of drinking, like I said before. But yeah, I guess in a way we're all strong. It started right when we had come to the desicion to call it quits. We, in a way gave the fans what they were asking for. For members to leave Bangtan.

"How can you say that?" I ask. "We're strong because we showed everyone that we, control what people think." He says. "But we ran away from what we had to face." Seokjin says. Taehyung shakes his head. "We made everyone realize that without one or two members in Bangtan, we're nothing." It was quiet. Really quiet.

Maybe everyone was thinking about what Taehyung had said. He said what all of us were thinking but couldn't say. He took the words out of our mouths and heads. "I see that." I say. Everyone turns to me and nods. "Because without one of my brothers, or two of my brothers, we're nothing." I say. It seems that everyone gets choked up, and nobody saying anything else.

It was quiet up until we made it to the dorm, of course because ARMY are crazy. They found our dorm. All of us sit up straight, looking at all the fans with posters. Many look like they're crying. They spot the van and run over to the van and start banging on the windows. We're all startled. I look at the driver, "We can't get off." I tell him. "And I can't move, look." He says.

The van is literally swarmed, cans all around the van. Luckily all the doors are locked and there is no way of them getting in, unless they broke the damn windows. "BTS! BTS! BTS! BTS!" They chanted. I stare at their faces behind the tinted windows. We kind of all just stared at them. There was an equal amount of names being called, it was like they were trying to change our minds.

"amugeotdo saenggakhaji ma
neon amu maldo kkeonaejido ma
geunyang naege useojwo

nan ajikdo mitgijiga anha
i modeun ge da kkumin geot gata
sarajiryeo hajima"

The fans began to sing in sync. I felt myself on the verge of tears. The memories of ARMY at concerts and what they'd plan for us. This is by far the most beautiful thing they've ever planned. I slowly look around in the van, everyone's eyes are watering. The fans continue with the song.

I stare back at the fans. "Have we made a mistake?" Jimin asks. We all look at him. "No." Jungkook says. "No." Taehyung adds. Hoseok and Seokjin shake their heads, and I say nothing. "This is life now, we get to be normal." Jungkook tells him. Jimin nods slowly. "To new beginnings." Jimin says. And I know I'll take that saying with me for a long time.

"I guess you do have jams." I say. He smiles. The driver is finally able to get us out of the crowd, we watch the fans stand there. Were they disappointed in us? Have they given up like we have? "Remember when ARMY made a rainbow with their bombs?" Taehyung asks. "It was so beautiful." Jungkook whispers, I swear I've forgotten that Jungkook is a grown man. Our fetus, a grown fetus.

"Why don't I feel bad about any of this?" Hoseok asks, "I don't feel bad about disbanding." He says. "Because, you're hurt." Seokjin says. "I am too." He adds. "Like you said, it was going to happen sooner or later. We can't stay in this industry forever." I say. "But you can." Jimin says. Am I getting attacked now?

"I have a dream, okay?" I ask. "I want to have full English albums and go big in America. Something I wish would have happened for the group.", "That could have happened but we didn't stick it through." My eyebrows knit. "You wanted the group to stay together, didn't you Jimin?" I ask. "My feelings don't matter anyways." He says. We all stare at him. "Why don't you go single?" Taehyung asks.

"Without you guys?" He chuckles and looks out the window, we don't even know where we're going. "I wouldn't be able to." He whispers. "Maybe I'll find something out there for me." He explains. "I think you should do it, make it big." Jimin looks at me with that jamless face and those fat ass cheeks. "For us." He nods.

Everyone looks at me, it's not the same. Yoongi isn't here and I wish he was. But it seems that besides Jungkook, Yoongi is the only other person who has everything set. He's going single, has a girl he's crazy about, and he knows what he wants. Why can't I be like that? Why am I so caught up in the thought that I'm insulting the guys, when they're telling me I should do it.

"What are you doing after this?" I ask Taehyung. He shrugs and doesn't look at anyone, I'm worried about him. He seems to be more relaxed since the interview, but now this. "Ah, come one. I think you know what you want to do. Acting? Our shining pupil needs to be on the big screen." Seokjin says. "Everyone needs that Angel face, devil voice." Hoseok adds. "You staying in Korea?" Jungkook asks.

"STOP!!! I don't know what I'm going to do okay!? Leave me alone!" He yells. We all stare at him, complete change in persona. Well shit. After Taehyung's out burst we all went quiet again, we were able to get into our dorm without any fans. When we walk into the dorm, Yoongi is getting ready to leave with a duffle bag in hand. "Oh, hey guys." He says. We all just stare at him.

"I saw the fans." He says. "How did your thing go?" I ask, breaking the silence since no one is answering him. "Not so good, but I don't have time to explain. I'm off to my new house." He explains. "We'll see you again right?" I ask. "For what?" He asks. "I mean, like a last goodbye." I say. "I'm leaving tonight too, I can't stay." Jungkook says.

Well, this is awkward. "Same, I got a condo back in my hometown." Hoseok says. I slowly nod. "Whose actually staying?" I ask looking at the guys. Jimin and Seokjin. "I'm going with my parents for tonight." Taehyung says simply before walking past us and towards the rooms. Everyone else took it as a invitation to disperse. Yoongi, out the dorm without a goodbye. Jungkook, quickly took his suitcase and left as well.

I sit in the living room staring at the door, watching as everyone who said they were leaving. Leave the dorm. Maybe I'm in high hopes that everyone will walk back in with a smile on their face and says that all this was a mistake. But nobody turns to smile or to exchange hugs. Just quick waves goodbye.

I look at Jimin and Seokjin, they both stare into space. So this is who we are now.

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Thanks for reading. It might seem a bit easy to read if you've read the Seokjin book.
Hope you guys enjoyed!

-A