Fern turned onto the highway, some of his nerves relieved as they were surrounded by other random cars. He let his shoulders relax and relaxed his foot on the gas.

"We should be good for awhile," Fern said aloud, he waited a few seconds giving Ani a chance to show any type of acknowledgment.

Fern turned his head slightly, trying to discreetly look at Ani. He was scanning through his phone, not paying any mind to Fern. Fern turned back to the road, trying not to look discouraged.

"We won't get caught as easily now, at least as long as we're on the highway." Again, his words were followed by silence. "Do you think we'll get caught?"

"Does it matter to you?" Ani asked finally, bitterness oozing out of his words.

"Of course it does," Fern frowned and looked at Ani then back at the road. "And not just about the getting in trouble part."

"You mean to tell me you actually give a shit about Edudu?"

"Of course I do, Ani. Why else would I be doing this?"

"To get me to forgive you," Ani said, Fern felt a panic try and rise up in his chest.

"That's not true. Of course, I care about you forgiving me, but I would never use anyone's death like that."

"Then why do you care about Edudu? You met him twice."

Fern was silent in thought, he knew there was a reason he cared but he didn't know how to articulate it. Ani scoffed, Fern turned to him his mouth open wanting to say something.

"I figured. If we get caught tell them I threatened to hurt myself if you didn't take me."

"Ani I do care about Edudu, and I'm not going to make up anything to throw you under the bus."

Ani didn't say anything in response, Fern heard the tapping of Ani's phone again.

Another half hour passed, Fern rubbed the back of his eyes with his palm stifling yawns. He never needed glasses, but in the lamp illuminated streets, everything was becoming blurry.

Without looking he reached for the radio fumbling with the knobs. He successfully turned it on, but only received static. Fern sighed and continued turning knobs and flipping switches on the radio. Still not receiving anything but static.

"Fucking hell Rodo, get a new damn radio," Fern mumbled hitting the front of the radio. He glanced quickly trying to at least see what he was doing wrong.

"Fern keep your eyes on the road," Ani said, he shut off his phone and looked at him. Fern turned back to the road but still tried fumbling with the keys of the radio. "Do you have an aux cord in here?"

Fern turned to look at him, Ani snapped at him. "Eyes on the road Fern." Fern quickly turned back to the road, veering the truck out of the way of a bigger truck.

"Yeah it's-" Fern went to point, Ani smacked his hand lightly.

"Tell me with your words Fern," Ani specified.

"Uh, it's in the compartment in front of you. Probably under a bunch of envelopes."

Ani nodded and opened up the compartment. The first thing to fall out was a pair of red panties, followed by several white envelopes once tightly packed into the compartment. "Holy shit."

"What is it?" Fern asked without turning his head. Ani pushed envelopes off of his lap and picked up the red panties with as little fabric as he could touch and held it close to Fern's face. "Are those panties?" Fern asked, squinting and tilting his head just enough to see.

"Yeah...why the hell are they in your brother's car?" Ani asked moving them away from Fern's face.

"The only person he's been seeing recently is...oh God they're Miss Clarkson's." Fern felt a violent revulsion.

"Oh fuck." Ani pulled down the window, the loud sweeping air filled the car moving the envelopes on the floor. For a moment Fern thought Ani was gearing up to puke. Instead, he threw the panties out the window and brought the window up.

Fern looked between Ani and the road several times before asking. "Did you at least find the aux cord?"

"Um," Ani turned on his phone flashlight and flashed it inside the compartment, not risking sticking his hand in blind. "Yeah, found it." He slowly took out the aux cord and let out a sigh.

"What are you planning on putting on?"

Ani stuck the cord into the radio, then into his phone. "I don't know yet." He mumbled, turning on his phone and picking a predetermined playlist. When the music began playing Ani turned off his phone and put it into the cupholder.

Ani leaned his head against the window, his eyes half closed. He crossed his arms and quietly moved his lips to the words of the song.

Fern listened to the soft guitar riff and tried paying attention to the lyrics. He felt the lyrics too acutely, it was a little too perfect for the situation. He wondered if Ani did this on purpose to make him stress.

"Um, what song is this?" Fern asked, following his question with a cough.

"Stronger Than Me, it's by Amy Winehouse. Do you know her?" Fern shook his head. "Of course you don't," He whispered. "Do you know, Back to Black?"

"Oh yeah, I remember loving the song when I was younger."

"Same singer Fern."

"Oh! But this is a lot...uh..."

"Moodier? Yeah, I know." Ani tapped his fingers against the side of the door.

The song changed but Fern felt the same vibe, it was the same singer. It was another love ballad, but he could hear the guitar as the only instrument.

"What's this one?"

Ani glanced at him then back out the window. "I Heard Love is Blind."

Fern slowed the car and took another exit off the highway and onto the more secluded road. He exhaled, the music was relaxing but got his mind thinking.

"Ani, can you restart the song and sing it a bit? It doesn't have to be the whole thing."

Ani turned to him, "Do you really think you're in the position to be making requests?"

"Kind of yeah, after this I don't think you really want to see me again. So I'm soaking up as much of you as possible. I never did get to hear much of you singing."

"Because you're a dick."

"And you're afraid to sing anything but show tunes."

"And I'm moody and sad, and I haven't spoken in days let alone sing."

"You lost someone you love, you're allowed to be all of those things."

"My voice will crack."

" I don't mind."

Ani was silent for a little while longer. Seconds before the song ended he picked up the phone and rewound it.

"I couldn't resist him, his eyes were like yours. His hair was exactly the same shade of brown. He's just not as tall, but I couldn't tell. It was dark and I was lying down."

Slowly, the voice of Amy bled out of the sound coming from next to Fern. He could only hear Ani's voice and the soft strums of the guitar.

"You are everything- he means nothing to me. I can't even remember his name. Why're so upset? Baby, you weren't there and I was thinking of you when I came."

Fern slowed the car down, closer to the speed limit. There was no one else on the road with them. It felt like there was no one else in the world there with them.

"What do you expect? You left me here alone; I drank so much and needed to touch. Don't overreact- I pretended he was you. You wouldn't want me to be lonely."

Ani had stopped leaning against the window and had leaned back into his seat. Fern felt his gaze on him, but it wasn't intense. It didn't make it his heart race, it was calming, sad. It felt more like an extended hand.

"How can I put it so you understand? I didn't let him hold my hand. But he looked like you; I guess he looked like you. No, he wasn't you. But you can still trust me, this ain't infidelity. It's not cheating you were on my mind."

Fern had slowed the car down to a stop and had pulled them over onto the side of the road. He turned so he could look at Ani, focus fully on his voice. How fragile he looked, how his soft voice was filling up the entire car.

"Yes, he looked like you. But I heard love is Blind." Ani finished, he didn't move just let out small breaths and looked to Fern. Some hope still left in his eye.

As the intro to Back to Black began to play, Fern shut the radio off. Before he spoke, Ani beat him to it.

"I didn't sing it for you, I did it for me."

"It was beautiful."

"It was just a ballad," Ani whispered.

"And it was just beautiful, and you're beautiful. And perfect to me, and amazing in every way. And you don't deserve to be sad, but you are and every time you are I just want to make it better. I want to make everything, better."

"But you can't because you're a dick." There were tears brimming in Ani's eyes but he still had a look of determination on his face. "And you made me feel small, you made me feel ashamed, and it hurt so badly. It felt like you were crushing me and I couldn't breathe. It was worse. It was so much fucking worse than anything all the assholes in my life say to me." Ani was near yelling, his voice was raspy and filled with a rawness that hurt Fern listening to it.

"I know I'm a dick. But-"

"But nothing Fern. That wasn't even the worst thing Fern, implying I'm a slut isn't even close to what I get called. What I get called sometimes by the people who make me feel that way. You made me feel shitty with a sentence Fern. You hold so much power in my life and you used it to hurt me and that's...that's..."

"Scary? Awful, it should be punishable by death. Or at the very least banishment from you forever. But I'm an idiot, and I'm a jerk, I'm the biggest dick. Because I don't think I can leave. Not now, not if you were the happiest person in the world right now. Even if I can't make you feel better right now, at this very moment. I want to use my power in your life and make you feel good, at some point. At any point, anytime." Fern put his hand over Ani's.

Ani sniffled, "You're the worst." He let his tears flow again.

"You need someone right now Ani, even if you're own sister won't be there for you I will be the fucking idiot who makes you sing Amy Winehouse in the middle of fucking nowhere. I'm that guy okay?"

"I want to be a petty bitch and you're making it hard." Ani wiped at his eyes with the hand not covered by Ferns.

"Be petty all you want but you're not a bitch, and I'm not going anywhere. Call me a dick as many times as you need to I don't care."

"It's just hard. It's just..." Ani groaned and scrubbed harder at his tears. "I don't know what I'm saying, I'm still so upset with you but I think I know I still need you. A part of me doesn't care that I still need you."

Ani took deep breaths trying to get better control of himself. "I don't need you. I don't need you." Ani said firmly, looking hard at the seat. He looked back up at Fern's open face and his crumpled again. Tears flowed down his face faster. "But I want you, a lot a shit ton. Okay?"

"Okay," Fern whispered, he unbuckled his seatbelt and crushed Ani's smaller body into his chest. He let Ani push his wet face against his chest. He buries his mouth and nose into Ani dyed hair and inhaled for all he was worth. "I need you, even if you don't need me."

"Dick," Ani whispered.

"The biggest." Fern didn't let go of him for the longest time. Even when Ani stopped sniffling, and Ani's wet face was dry.

"We need sleep," Ani finally murmured from Fern's shirt.

Fern moved back just enough to look at him. "We can lock the car doors, push down the seats in the back, and pray no one tries to break in."

"I guess it's our best bet. My service doesn't work that well out here. Amy Winehouse was just downloaded on my phone."

"Is she the only thing downloaded on your phone?"

"Her, emo shit, and show tunes." Ani moved the rest of the way away from him. He rubbed at his now reddened face. There were darker bags on his face now, and his cheeks were flushed red from anger and crying. "I look like shit and feel like shit, push the seats down so I can sleep."

Fern nodded, there was no point in arguing. "Yeah, give me a second." Fern climbed out of the truck and opened the door to the back. He pushed down the back row of seats. He opened up the bed of the truck and pulled out a large blanket.

He slammed the trunk closed and winced at a small crumbly sound. "I really hope that's just rust," Fern mumbled. He climbed into the now bed like back and set the blanket down. "Beds made."

Ani needed no other prompting, he slipped off his shoes and slipped into the back of the truck. Fern leaned up front, he locked the trunk, doors, windows and set the alarm sensitivity higher than usual. He took the keys out and stuffed them into his pocket.

"Why didn't you park somewhere safer and more public," Ani asked getting underneath the blanket. Fern shrugged and got underneath with him. He hadn't realized how cold it had gotten until he was under the blankets and felt Ani's body heat radiating off of him.

"I was a little distracted. We probably have a greater chance of getting mugged in a parking lot somewhere." Fern shifted closer to the middle, closer to Ani and his warmth.

"And we have a better chance of getting kidnapped and chopped up out here." Ani wrapped himself tighter in the blanket, and slowly moved an inch closer to Fern.

"We'll be fine. I'm getting you to New Mexico even if I have to fight some crazy southerner with a machete to get there." He made a move and reached for Ani's hand.

Ani immediately moved his hand away and gave him a look. "I'm talking to you, you are not forgiven."

Fern tried not to look too disappointed. "Uh yeah of course. Sorry," He murmured.

"But I am cold, so you're lucky," Ani mumbled. He moved the rest of the way to Fern. He rested his head against Fern's chest and closed his eyes. Fern smiled as wide as a dick like himself could. He put his arm around Ani and hugged him somehow closer.
"I guess I am lucky."

"Dick," Ani sighed.

"A lucky dick," Fern closed his eyes, pushing out thoughts of getting caught, serial killers, even Edudu's death. He focused on the smaller stronger body next to him, with his calming breaths Fern fell asleep.