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Later on that night, I was back at my parents house and I was somewhat a mess. I got myself together long enough to get everything moved out of the penthouse, but it seems like as soon as I got home and was able to just be still I realized that I really Left him and I was alone. I haven't been single for a long time. I was with Kevin for so long and when I broke up with him, I was single for a month before Jey showed up at my parents doorstep just like my break up with Kevin this was something that I needed to do for myself and I'm happy that I did it but I still feel bad that it happened.

My mom was currently in bed with me and we were just cuddling because I was bawling my eyes out and I have finally calmed down a little bit. I love that my mom and I have a close relationship and I'm happy that I can tell her anything. Most people, probably would not have told their mother about everything that happened between and I, but I knew she wouldn't judge. I knew she would have a problem with it, but she was able to help me through all of this including my break up. She was happy that I kept my word and said it was over after those three months. My mom liked Jey, but she didn't like that he was married. She wanted me to be happy and that's why she let me make my own decisions but things just don't work out how we want them to all the time. It doesn't matter how sweet they may seem.

"What do you want to eat for dinner?" My mom asks

"Whatever you make is fine."

"Are you sure? You're already a little depressed, the last thing I need is you not eating."

"I'm sure, mom."

"Okay. Well, you know as soon as I leave your bedroom, your dad is going to be in here trying to check on you."

"Yeah, I know. It's fine."

"Are you really fine with it or do you want me to tell him to leave you alone?"

"No, I'm okay with it, mom. Thanks."

"Okay." She slides out of bed after giving me a hug. "Are you gonna be okay, baby?"

"I guess." I say with a shrug. "I just hate that I really thought things would turn out differently."

"I know you don't wanna hear this but sometimes things just turn out this way, and most of the time when they do it's for the better."

"I don't think so. I know I'm supposed to be with him. His wife was just being a bitch and wouldn't sign the divorce documents.

"I know, baby. But maybe she had a change of heart. She has that right. She's married to him. I didn't like the idea of you dating him while he was married because of this exact reason. I like Josh a lot and I also felt he was right for you but he's married babe. He's not yours and you need to understand that."

"I do understand, mom. It's just—I don't know. I know he didn't want to be there. He wanted to be with me and she was in the way of that."

"So now that you set boundaries and you've followed through with them, you gotta figure out what that was about. You also need to learn from this experience. What has this shown you?"

"I don't know yet. I always thought maybe he was supposed to show me a better way. That I should stand up for myself because I wasn't with Kevin. You know some of the things I went through with him. I felt Josh was supposed to get me through that." I explain

"And now you're through it and Jey is gone. The experience is had, the lesson is learned, and now you move on." She says. "I know you loved him but I believe it is what it was and now you have to see where life takes you."

"Thanks, mom. I needed that."

"I'm gonna go cook dinner." She says then leaves.

I say in the quiet for a few minutes trying to have a pep talk with myself. I have to pull it together. Like my mom said, it is what it is.

Not even 10 minutes went by and my dad was knocking on my bedroom door.

"What's up, Babygirl?" He says walking in.

"Nothing. Still upset about the breakup but I'll manage. It's just rough for me right now." I say

My dad doesn't know anything about Jey being married. My mom didn't tell him, so he just thinks we broke up because of something stupid.

"Well, it's his loss. I know how amazing my daughter is, and when he realizes it and tries to come back, because I know he will, you'll be over him and long gone. Probably with someone better."

"That's nice. Thanks, daddy. How are you feeling? I know you liked Josh."

"I like him as long as you like him. Once he's gone, I don't know him anymore. So my feelings don't matter." He smiles.

"Good answer." I say. "I was thinking you'd still talk to him for football tickets or something." We both laugh.

"Has your mother talked to you about going back to Atlanta?"

"Damn, yall trying to get rid of me already?"

He laughs. "No, for Danielle."

"Oh, yeah. She is close to her due date."

"I don't want you to feel like we're trying to push you off but we know you promised her and she needs you."

"I know. She must've called you guys."

"She called your mom expressing her concerns. She didn't think you were gonna come since you were with Josh."

"Why would she think that? I told her I was no matter what." I say "I guess I'll book the flight right now."

My dad kisses me on my head and leaves.

I guess I understand why she would feel that way, but I never planned on not coming back. I know she needs help and I promise my best friend. I would be there for her so I'm gonna have to suck it up and get over this break up so I can be there for her every need.

I look around my bed for my purse and I see the Marc Jacob duffle bag Jey got me. The bag has a lot of money in it. I need to deposit it. Oh I forgot, he already opened a bank account with me with a lot of funds. I almost feel like I don't want to touch it. I'm not sure why I know this was done out of the kindness of his heart and it's a nice gesture. It just feels weird. Just like I refuse to go to the house he bought me. It's crazy to me. A whole house. I understand his reasoning but it's still feels weird.

I get out of bed and walk over to the bag. I sit on the floor in front of it and unzip the bag. First thing I noticed was the gun. I didn't know he put it back. The second thing was the money, but on top of the money was a black ring box. This wasn't here before. I pick it up and open it.

It was a ring.

What the fuck is this? The ring he was planning on giving me?

My emotions flare up and I start bawling again. Fuck. I lasted 20 minutes without crying.

I can't believe he bought me a ring. Maybe he was serious about all of this and it really just didn't go in his favor. I've been sitting here trying to figure out if three months was a long enough time and I've been second-guessing myself thinking maybe it wasn't. But on the other hand, I do feel like three months is enough time to get the process going. It wasn't like I expected him to be fully divorced in three months. I just wanted him to have some movement. This really sucks because I liked him a lot. I loved him.

But, oh well, I guess. It's over now so there is no point in me dwelling on the reasons why. Flat out, he wasn't able to get the divorce process rolling within three months.

I shook myself out of those negative thoughts and decided to just book my flight to Atlanta.

Crazy how all of this shit started because I wanted to leave Atlanta and now I'm going back. Well at least I know I don't have to worry about my ex. Jey made sure of that. I haven't heard anything about any of that. I wonder if it was like a big thing. Like, did his family report him missing? I don't know any details about it and no one called me to see if I've heard from him or if I've seen him. I'm not really trippin about it. I just find it odd.

*********

A couple of days later, I was packed for Atlanta and ready to leave my hometown for a while. I needed a break but only because I wanted to get away for a minute. It wasn't like when I left Atlanta, I just wanted a breather without my parents breathing down my back, asking me if I was okay every ten minutes. I know they mean well though.

Today was a particular hard day because I really wanted to talk to Jey. I had checked the BWB website and it seemed like they were doubling down on him no longer working for the company anymore. I worried about how he was dealing with that. I worried about him, period. Especially when he was so torn up about it the last couple of days we were together. I just wanted to make sure he was okay, and knowing him, I know he wanted to make sure I was okay as well.

Downstairs, I heard my mom talking all loud, like she was going off on someone. Probably on the phone with one of her friends. They gossip like there's no tomorrow. I couldn't make out what she was saying but she called down after a couple of minutes so I didn't check on her.

It was only a minute later, my bedroom door opened and for some reason I froze. When the person popped their head into my room, I jumped at the sight. My body went completely numb and my heart stopped for a couple of seconds. But then I realized who it actually was and I felt relieved.

Placing my heart, "Don't ever do that again." I say. "Jon, you know I thought you were your brother."

He laughs as he steps into my room, closing the door back behind him. "Sorry to disappoint. It's just little ol me."

"What are you doing here? I'm surprised to see you. I didn't think I would ever see you again."

"That hurts my feelings. Before you left you said we would stay in touch."

"I know what I said, but I didn't think it would actually happen. I thought you were just being nice." I say

"No, I wasn't just being nice. I was serious."

I look around for a second feeling a little awkward because I feel a little weird. I had no idea he would actually check on me. His loyalty to his brother and not me. But then again, let me not get things twisted, he could be here for his brother.

"Have a seat. What brings you by? Josh told you where I was staying?"

Jon takes a seat at my computer desk. "No. I already knew, you told me. And I knew where they lived from when you first got here. I decided to come by and check on you because you were pretty torn up the last time we saw each other." He explains. "Your mother is hot as hell by the way."

We both laugh. "Yeah, my mom is hot, but she's off-limits and very happily married." I say. He's lost his mind. And he's the type to try to go for my mom too.

"She thought I was my brother. She started going off on me for showing up and I had to just let her give it to me for a minute cause she looked so good."

I roll my eyes. "Oh my gosh! Please stop!" I said somewhat embarrassed. It's so uncomfortable, him talking about my mom like that. "How did you tell her you weren't him?"

"She asked me a question and I had no clue what she asked because it was in Spanish, so I just told her I'm Jon, his twin brother. She started laughing and apologized. I told her it was all good and I didn't mind being cussed out by a beautiful woman like herself."

"I can't believe you were flirting with my mom."

"I couldn't help it." He laughs and I just shake my head. "You aight though?" He asks me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I lie. I've been horrible since I had left Josh. I try to be okay with everything but I'm still not. I go back and forth with it because I know I did the right thing but I'm in a lot of pain because of it and I second guess myself for it almost every second since I've been gone. I would like for the hurt I feel to go away and I know it will in time, but until then I'm just existing. But Jon doesn't need to know that, so to him, I'll just say I'm fine.

He flashes a weak smile at me.

"How is he?" I ask

He shrugs. "I don't know. I haven't talked to him."

"You haven't talked to him in two days?" I ask, surprised. They talk every damn day, literally all day. This is a shocker.

"Not since he asked me to check on you at the penthouse. I've called him, texted, dropped by, and nothing. I don't know what he's doing or what's going on." He explains

"Is his location turned off?" I ask

"Yup. Again. He's in trouble with the fam... again. So I guess you haven't talked to him?"

"Of course not. He said he respected my decision and that he would leave me alone. He's done exactly that. I feel horrible. Maybe I shouldn't have left so soon."

"It's not your fault. It was going to happen anyway. Better to just rip the bandaid off." He says

"That's true. It's crazy to hear you haven't talked to him at all."

"It's happened a few times before. He just gets in one of his moods and doesn't want to talk to anyone. He'll pop back up soon. I ain't trippin."

"I saw on the website they said he was fired."

"Which I believe is part of the reason he's disappeared." He says

"I wish I could be there for him." I say

"Nope. He has to do this on his own. He'll get through it."

I nod my head. He's right, I should just let him do him. There's nothing I can do about what's going on with him. I have to stop thinking I can fix everything. That's my problem.

I sigh at my inner thoughts.

"You need anything?" Jon asked, seemingly hinting at something else. I could be wrong though.

"No. Like I said, I'm fine."

"Nothing at all?" He asks

"Are you looking for something? Am I supposed to?"

He shakes his head. "No, but I want you to stop lying to me." He doesn't take his eyes off of me as he twists the chair from side to side.

"I don't know what to say. Is there anything in particular you're looking for?" I kinda laugh. I'm a little confused.

He slightly smiles and shakes his head. "No."

That look made me feel a little uncomfortable so I nervously laughed. What is he trying to say.

"Then what, Jon?" I ask

He shrugs his shoulders then stands to his feet. He walks over to me and sits on my bed in front of me. Thankfully I was under my blanket.

"I asked if you needed anything." He says.

"Oh...I see what you want." I say. "You ain't slick." I laugh.

He starts laughing as well then shrugs. "Well, do you?"

"I can't believe you came here to try to have your brother's ex-girlfriend. First you flirt with my mom, now me? You ain't shit, Jon." I shake my head at him. I said it in a joking way but I know I should be serious. It's always been entertaining to watch his crush on me. Knowing he couldn't have me how he wanted irritated him. Jey laughed at it, I've giggled a couple of times but it's never been in an inappropriate way and he's never really tried with me. I've heard him really pushing his brother in conversations but he's never brought it to me, until now.

"I didn't come here for that. I came here to check on you. Honestly. I care about you too. Both of you know that. And I believe he knew I would step up when you broke up with him. I also believe that's what he wanted. That's why he told me to go help you with whatever you needed. I'm the closest thing to him and you can't have him so... I'm here. My brother knows what he's doing."

I kinda looked at him like he was crazy. Would Jey really set it up like this? Interesting.

"What did I tell you when we talked about this before?"

"You said if we were to ever go there, it would have to be from the back and no kissing, because you said kissing is very intimate."

"I did say that, but that wasn't what I was referring to. I told you it would only happen if Josh wanted it to. I only wanted to make him happy. He didn't want it to happen and you know that."

"Josh knows what I want. He didn't want it to happen while you guys were together because he liked you so much. He loved you, but you broke up with him." He says. "He doesn't care because y'all aren't together anymore. I told you, he's giving me an opportunity to get what I've been wanting. Trust me, he knew this would happen."

I just shake my head. This is unbelievable. These brothers are not normal.

So let's pause, Jon ain't fooling nobody, he came here to fuck and he thought I would go for it. He says Josh is fine with it, and that could be true but damn this shit is odd to me.

"I know you've thought about me in that way." Jon says

"Do you?" I ask, amused. "Why do you think that?"

"I gave you the best head of your life." He confidently says. "I know you wondered about the dick."

"I hadn't thought about it." I say

"Yeah fucking right!" We both laugh.

This is insane.

There is no way in hell, I can let him fuck me. No matter how good the head was.

But if we did have sex, I would feel like that meant I was betraying Josh.

"What are you thinking?" Jon asks, his hand inching closer to my thigh. "You thinking about my brother?"

"I am."

"I know you loved him..."

"I did."

There was a pause then he smiled. "Yeah...."

"Yeah what?" I ask

"I don't want to talk about that because I know how both of you feel about each other. But also both of you know how I feel too." He says

"That's true too." I say. Jon has never really kept it a secret.

"I want you to feel better about everything. I don't want you feeling any kinda way about something that is over, which is your relationship with him, and something that's not important anymore, which is the fact that he blocked me from getting what I wanted because you were with him. As he should've, but all that is over now."

"You're saying since our relationship is over, all that goes out of the window."

"That's exactly what I'm saying. All of that was fine and good because y'all were together but now that it's over, I know he won't have a problem with it."

"I still don't want to have sex with you, Jon." I say. Let me just try to shut that down right now.

"Okay." He says. "But what about you?" He reaches for my hand and starts playing with my fingers.

"What about me?"

"You want me to remind you of the fun we had? How you sat on my brother's lap and how he had your legs spread in front of me. I can definitely remind you of how good I made you feel. How your legs were shaking. How you squirted all over my face..."

As he spoke, his voice got deeper and deeper. He was turning me on a little. That was a little unexpected.
His hand was now on my thigh. I had my legs crossed but that didn't seem to stop him. He tried to slip his hand between them.

"Josh knows how bad I want you. He won't even be mad. Like him and I both told you before, he would rather it be me than some random dude."

Yeah, they both have said that before. I knew Jey didn't want it to happen while we were together but I remember hearing conversations between the two of them and Jey knew how much his brother wanted to get in bed with me. It's just weird how they're that open with each other. Josh literally watched Jon eat my pussy and instructed him on what to do, how to do it and told him what I liked. So all of this could in fact be true.

What the hell am I doing? Was I really thinking about doing something with my ex-boyfriend's twin brother?

"Jon—." I start to object, but he cuts me off.

"Shhhh..." His hand rises and goes behind my head. He leans in and pulls me towards him. "Just let me kiss you." He whispers before his lips touch mine.

At first, I tried to push him away but that quickly halted when I felt how strong of a grip he had on me. His tongue invaded my mouth, taking full control. I tried to wait it out, and that lasted a second because it got good. I don't know what it is, but something in me took over and I just started kissing him back. I kissed him hard, and the moment I did that, I felt his hand slide underneath my blanket and push it off of me. His hand was right back on my thigh, moving between my legs. I quickly stopped his hand with mine. He didn't move any further.

He pulled back, breaking the kiss, but our lips were still touching. I was breathless.

"Jon, stop." I whisper, looking into his eyes. I can't deny how I'm feeling right now. I feel a little something for him, I hate to admit that. I'm still in love with his brother, I hate to admit that as well. And I don't want to make a mistake that I'll later regret. Jon knows I'm vulnerable right now and I know he's taking advantage of that. Well, maybe. I don't know.
He shakes his head. "I don't want to stop."

His hand that was gripping the back of my head moved down and went behind my neck, pulling me closer. He kissed me again and this time, but his kiss wasn't forceful, it was more passionate.

He pulled back after a minute and we stared at each other.

"My mom is downstairs." I say, trying to move away.
I remember when I tried to have sex with Josh while my parents weren't even here and he wouldn't do it.

"Josh wouldn't do this." I say

"I ain't my brother." He kisses me again and what little willpower I had was gone.

His fingers made their way between my legs, under my dress and he rubbed my pussy through my pantries. I was soaking wet.

"She's calling for me..." He smiles. "Let me take all that hurt away."

I looked into his eyes, I felt as if I was looking at Jey. I felt connected to Jon. Lust? Maybe. But it was strong. My heart raced as I stared into his eyes. 

We both knew what we were about to do. I just wanted to feel better. I wanted the pain to go away. I missed Jey so much and I just wanted to feel close to him. I know this isn't the way but damnit like CB, I needed to feel something.

Jon gets up and at the same time reaches for my panties. He quickly pulled them off of me and got back onto the bed.

"Jon—." I was cut off by his lips latching onto mine again. This time I didn't feel I had the power to push him away. I wanted to be as close to Jey as I could get. Jon was the closest thing to him.

As Jon kissed me, I felt his hand open my legs. He started rubbing my center. I can't lie about how turned on I was. He knew it too.

Two of his fingers slowly slipped inside of me and he started fingering me. It was feeling so good. I tried to fight it by biting down on his bottom lip.

He pulled away and smiled. "I like that shit."

I tried.

He didn't return to my lips but he continued stroking his fingers into me. Watching me intensely as I squirmed under his touch. SHis big arms flexed as he kept stroking my gspot over and over, my body was starting to betray me. My breaths became more shallow and my silent moans became more audible.

"Sshhhh..." he said with a proud smile. "You don't want your mom to hear you." He pulled his fingers out of me, put them in his mouth. "Mmmmm, I need more of this."

He picked me up and sat me on the edge of the bed, pushing me to lay on my back, then he got on his knees next to my bed. He took the pillow I was leaning against and put it over my face. He didn't say anything else, the next thing I knew I felt his tongue slide up my folds. I was so aroused, it sent a wave of pleasure through my body.

He wrapped his arms around my thighs and he started eating me like his life depended on it.  His tongue was like magic and my body was in complete bliss. I bit down on my bottom lip, trying to fight the urge to moan but I couldn't help myself. I repeatedly moaned into the pillow. I couldn't control myself. He was eating it as good as the first time. Damnit.

I started to feel my orgasm coming. I tried thinking about everything but what was going on. I didn't want to cum but I know I'm about to cum hard and I know how guilty I'm about to feel.

He began to pick up his speed and working his fingers on my spot. It was too much to handle. Just like before, my legs started to shake. I started to moan louder and louder, gripping his hair with one hand and the pillow with the other, all I could do was bite down on the pillow as I came.

He must've remembered what Jey taught him because he continued all the way though, making me cum harder than I did the first time.

Jon rubbed me down as I rode it out. I just laid there trying to catch my breath. I couldn't believe I did this shit again. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I felt the pillow move from my face.

"You aight?" He asks

I just nodded my head. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. All I could do was lay there and try to catch my breath. My body was in shock.

"I can't have sex with you." I say

"You're laying in front of me with your legs wide open and ready for me..."

I sit up, looking for my pantries. "Jon, I can't do it."
I didn't say anything else. He just watched as I put my pantries back on. I sat on the side of the bed, palming my face.

"Hazel, it's all good."

"Can you go?" I say

"Don't do me like that." He says then takes a seat next to me.

"I'm not—I just...I don't know. I feel bad."

"You shouldn't. I made you feel good." He smiles, placing his hand on the side of my face. He leans in and passionately kisses me. "Don't regret it." He pushes my hair back from my face. "I gave you what you needed. I won't push for anything else. We don't have to have sex. I just want you to feel better."

I can feel myself getting emotional. I felt guilty. I didn't want to feel anything. I didn't want to feel so much pain from this break up and guilt from what I just did.
I can tell Jon noticed it too.

He wraps his arms around me.

"I'm sorry." I say

"It's all good, Hazel." He says.

We sat in silence for a minute and he held me.
"I need to pack." I break the silence. I was lying, looking for a reason for him to leave.

"Where are you going?" He asks

"To Atlanta. My friend is about to have her baby and I'm going out there to help her."

"For how long?"
I shrug my shoulders.

"Let me take you to the airport."

"My mom is taking me." I say

"Okay. You'll let me know if you need anything?" He asks

I nod my head.

"You know I'll be checking on you." He says standing up.

I nod my head again. "I know."

"Aight." He hugs me and kisses the top of my head, then leaves.

I watched the door after he left and just sat there for a minute.

I fucked up and I feel horrible about it.

This situation with Josh has me all fucked up. I have never done anything this wreckless before in my life.
What the hell is wrong with me?

*

To be continued...

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