Firestar: Hello, welcome. Today, we will be having STORYTIME!

Mosskit: Please, Firestar. Not this again

Leafpool: He does this so much off camera

Firestar: Once upon a time, there was a tribe. This tribe loved killing blue-furred cats named Bluestar. This tribe was called the HeadbuttsFans. It consisted of Draco, Beecafe, and a couple other very loyal readers. 

Mosskit: So pretty much nobody

Firestar: DO NOT INTERRUPT ME

Mosskit: But-

Firestar: I AM YOUR ELDER

Mosskit: Technically, I'm older than you, but whatever

Firestar: ANYWAYS... this tribe consisted of people who loved watching cats die. This tribe was very powerful, and always required a sacrifice. If they were not given a payment, a certain cat with orange fur and green eyes would be slowly killed, and regenerate, only to be killed slowly once again

Draco: AHEM!

Firestar: I MEAN.... this tribe consisted of a bunch of merciful, holy gods and goddesses! They required sacrifices because they were very holy and respected!

Beecafe: Hm. Alright, that part can stay in. Makes us look good

Firestar: Y-yes ma'am! *mouths* Help me. Anyways, today, they want another sacrifice, so we will be killing Bluestar in the spiritual style to-

Beecafet: I'm sorry, but the Council of Headbutts has made a different descision

Firestar: W-what?

Beecafe: We have decided that today we want a different form of sacrifice

Firestar: And what form do you need, your holiness? 

Beecafe: You'll see >:)

Draco: *snaps* 

*a random arena appears. There are precisely 595 spectators, and there are a bunch of cats locked in cages, hanging over the arena* 

Firestar: W-wait! W-why an I in a c-cage? 

Beecafe: The first battle begins! Leafpool, you will be fighting Spottedleaf!

 *the cages of Leafpool and Spottedleaf dissapear. Leafpool and Spottedleaf somehow don't take any damage* 

Leafpool: Well, lady who could've been my mom, looks like I have no choice *randomly pulls out chainsaw* 

Spottedleaf: 0-0.... Fam, looks like this could be the end.... I guess I have to leave it to Yellowfang to run my show..

Leafpool: Your show sucks. My dad's show has more views *cuts Spottedleaf in half* 

Draco: Oh my goodness... Ok then! 

*Leafpool is magically teleported back into her cage. Purdy drags Spottedleaf's body out of the arena*

Beecafe: Alright, let's just make a couple fight next. How about..... Bluestar and Oakheart? 

Bluestar: !!!

Oakheart: Please, I beg you not to! I love Bluestar too much

Beecafe: That makes it even better

*Bluestar and Oakheart are teleported into the arena* 

Oakheart: Bluestar, my love, I... I don't know if I can do this

Bluestar: Well, I can

Oakheart: W-w-w-what?!?!

Bluestar: The only reason I got together with you was because you were a decent looking cat that was willing to love 

Oakheart: YOU-WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

Bluestar: Yeah. I'm going to be honest, no other cat other than Thrushpelt liked me. And Thrushpelt was just... no

Oakheart: You... how could you? *dies of sadness* 

Beecafe: OwO

Draco: OOFERS

Bluestar: Yeah, I should win this battle to the death pretty easily

*Bluestar is teleported back into her cage. Oakheart's body is dragged away by Purdy*

Draco: Yay, my turn! Let's do.... how about Brambleclaw and Squirellflight? 

Squirrelflight: NO YOU DIDN'T

Draco: Yes I did

Brambleclaw: I cannot kill Squirrelflight..... kill me now!

Squirrelflight: No, you kill me! I can't live with myself if I kill you and live!

Headbutts: Awwwwwww! This just makes it even better!

Brambleclaw: Then I'll kill myself! *pulls out a random chainsaw and stabs himself* 

Squirrelflight: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *dies* 

Draco: Oof!

Firestar: Oh no... I think I know why I'm in this cage now.... 

Unicorn (ma sister): Pst!

Firestar: Who are you? 

Unicorn: I am Headbutts' sister, but almost nobody knows about me! I'm a huge Firestar fan!

Firestar: I don't care. Go away

Unicorn: 0-0 ok bye *teleports away* 

Firestar: oh well, she was annoying. MAke sure you follow @I-Unicorn-I , she might be annoying but still. Oh, look. I just missed the fight between Sandstorm and Dustpelt. Thank goodness Sandstorm won

Draco: And, next, we will have a fight between Firestar and Graystripe!

Firestar: WHAT? You can't!

Draco: Watch me

Firestar: Well, you can't do anything if I refuse to fight

Graystripe: Yeah!

Draco: If you refuse to fight, I will kill the ones you love the most

Firestar: Wha... you mean Sandstorm and Leafpool?? 

Draco: Yep!

Firestar: Then, sorry Graystripe

Graystripe: !!!

Firestar: *shreds Graystripe* Get rekt

*Firestar is teleported back into his cage* 

Draco: Now, for the battle between the survivors! Leafpool and Bluestar will fight!

Bluestar: This is going to be so easy...

Firestar: MY DAUGHTER NO!

Sandstorm: Why didn't you get sad when Squirrelflight died?

Firestar: Because I favor Leafpool- BLUESTAR YOU WILL PAY DEARLY FOR THIS- NOOOOOO!

Leafpool: *is killed by Bluestar* 

Draco: Next, we will have the two lovers fight! Sandstorm and Firestar, please fight each other

FIrestar: Uh oh... spaghettio

Sandstorm: Looks like this might be the end... look, if you kill me, make sure you kill Bluestar for the show 

Firestar: Sure *lunges at Sandstorm* 

Sandstorm: *jumps out of the way*

*Firestar lands on his face and quickly gets back up. Just in time. Sandstorm jumps at his, claws unsheathed. Firestar blocks the strike, still on the ground. Using his legs, he kicks Sandstorm in the knees. Sandstorm falls to the ground, and Firestar, with much difficulty, kills Sandstorm* 

Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAY!

Firestar: I hate you, Draco

Draco: Me too!

Beecafe: And now, for the final fight.... Firestar against Bluestar!

Bluestar: !!! If this is all for that stupid show on killing me, when I regenerate I will slowly shred you to pieces

Firestar: *grins* Well, I guess if I make a good episode for 101 ways to kill Bluestar, the Headbutts Gods won't kill me. MOSSKIT!

Mosskit: Yes, Firestar? 

Bluestar: MY MOSSKIT BABY!

Firestar: Mosskit, I'm going to need to kill you

Mosskit: Sure. I'll just regenerate

Firestar: Alright- WHERE ARE MY BODYGUARDS?

*Cinderpelt appears* 

Cinderpelt: Spottedleaf and Sandstorm are dead now, so it's only me

Firestar: Where's Mistystar? 

Cinderpelt: Uhh.. Mistystar? She doesn't like you...

Firestar: No? Well, it was revealed that Mistystar and I liked each other in the episode where I killed Bluestar with a boulder, I think

Mistystar: Yup! Now, Cinderpelt and I will hold Bluestar down while you sacrifice Mosskit to the Headbutts Followers

Bluestar: NOOO! NOOOOOOOO- PLEASE DON'T!

*Mistystar and Cinderpelt hold Bluestar down* 

Firestar: Alright... I think we'll sacrifice Mosskit by drowning her..

Mosskit: Can you just force me to fight someone? It'll make it much less painful

Firestar: Alright! WHERE IS MY SLAVE? 

Tawnypelt: H-here, my lord

Firestar: Fight Mosskit

Tawnypelt: Y-yes, m-my lord *leaps at Mosskit* 

Bluestar; NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *dies of fright* 

Tawnypelt: What? *unsheaths claws* Sorry, Mosskit. Had to do it for the show

Draco: *claps* Amazing... alright, your monthly check on how this show is doing is over. Your show will be allowed to continue. 

FIrestar; Yay! And that's how you kill Bluetar! 

Yeet! I finally did it, I made it to 1K words on a chapter! Requests for chapters are open, I have no more good ideas :-I