❝But I still want you.❞
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Sequel to hers to keep.

Word Count: 2535

«NARRATION»

One year later.

"Welcome back to love wise, your favourite late night radio talk show! I'm your host Jennie Kim and let's hear some true stories of our mates, in their own words." The presenter beemed with joy as she welcomed her listeners back after a short break. The clock read 11:01 pm when Jungkook reached for the toll free number on his phone to make the call, his breath uneven as his hands trembled in anxiousness.

"We have a new caller online. May I know your name?" The host asked subtly in her feminine voice.

"Hello. My name is Jeon Jungkook."

"Hi, Jungkook. As you clearly know that in this segment, we will help you connect to the person you wish to tae with and confess to them; who would you like to call tonight?"

"Actually, I would like to speak with my ex girlfriend, Lalisa."

"Uhm, okay Jungkook. When did you break up?"

"About a year ago."

"May we know why? If you're comfortable, of course."

"Because I broke her heart. I was not true with my feelings. She found out." The man hesitantly replied as a momentary silence spread across the connected lines.

"Why do you wish to call her tonight? To ask for a second chance?"

"N-no. I just want to apologise and let her know that I regret everything. Because everything above all, she was my best friend before being my lover, although I failed to put her through the end."

"Hmmm." Jennie Kim sighed. This wasn't the first time she was hearing a breakup story; she had millions of sad stories narrated to her everyday, but it was rare to witness ex lovers garnering courage to contact their ex after the downfall of their relationship, especially when they knew the call would be recorded and would be heard by everyone as the show was broadcasted via satellites.

"Do you wish to get back with her?"

"If possible, then yes I would love to."

"Alright then, lets call her now." The number provided by Jungkook was dialled, Jungkook's anxiety taking over each passing second the sound of the dialing intensified.

"Hello, am I speaking to Ms Lalisa at the moment?" Jennie inquired the moment the call was received.

"Yes I am. Who's this?"

"I'm Jennie Kim from love wise talk show, there's someone who wants to speak to you at the moment, we will be shortly connecting your call with them."

"Hello Lisa...its me, Jungkook."

Lisa paused for a moment, deeply sighing into the call, making Jungkook wonder if she was still connected.

"Are you still there?"

"Why have you called me?"

"I...I just w-wanted to apologise to you."

"Apologise?" She sneered. "For what?"

"For everything I did back then, for hurting you."

"Its been over a year now Jungkook, I'm sure you don't even recollect what you're asking an apology for..."

"No wait! I remember. I can't get it out of my head, your pale face and the blank expression that haunts me to this day-"

"Then what makes you think apologising over a year late will fetch you the memories we made together?"

"Lisa please...I know I had never been truthful to you the time I had been with you. I always thought that this was a phase and you were helping me get over it. I can't deny that what between us for real, every memory of you I cherish even now. I assumed you would understand me, like you always have, you would know..."

"I'm not a psychic who knows the key to your heart. So is it my fault then, that I failed to understand you when I had been with you like a protective shadow against everyone to shield you, to protect you?"

"Thats not what I truly meant Lisa...I'm sorry." Jungkook's voice faltered a little as Lisa teared up on the other side of the call.

"You shouldn't have called me in the first place."

"Do you remember how you accidentally confessed that you had a crush on me? I couldn't think straight at the moment, it was as if my brain and my heart broke into a war. My brain tried to explain this wasn't the time to reciprocate your feelings when I myself hadn't moved on. But like a dumb idiot I listened to my heart thinking I would forget her with time. When we shared our first kiss in the rain, I was engulfed in ecstasy and euphoria. I just wanted to be the one you wished for; yet I couldn't contemplate if it was really you who I loved, or it was her. There were times I would just look at you sleeping soundly in my embrace whilst the conflict running in my head would start a nightmare in my sweet dreams that were once filled with you. I wanted to talk things through, yet the worry that you might leave me after hearing me out kept me holding back. It was then that I started to misinterpret things, that everything I felt for you was meant for her. And that was my biggest mistake, because I didn't't think through and that evening when I thought I was ready to take things to the next level and ask for your hand, she returned back and all my hopes crumbled up."

"Y-you wanted to m-marry me?"

"Yes. I'm not making things up. I really wanted to propose to you, which is why I said I would be late. But when I was headed to our date, a text buzzed on my phone and she wrote that she misses me. I lost my senses and thought she still wants me back..."

"Jungkook, you know what hurts the most? Its you who chose her over me and left me alone that rainy night. You wrecked the bubble of a fairytale we were once happily living in. I still don't understand why you're telling me this now."

"I loved you so much carrot. I did everything in the past year to reach to you - calls, texts, contacting your friends...they had all left. It didn't hurt me still. I don't care about it at all, because the only person I wanted to stay by my side was you, and when you disappeared, a void formed in my life. I fell into an endless hole of sorrow, guilt, regrets...I just wanted to seek forgiveness and start over again as friends, if that could-"

"Honey, you aren't coming to sleep?" A heavy, male voice was heard from the vicinity at Lisa's end, as Jungkook widened his eyes in shock.

"Its just an old acquaintance, baby. I'll be done soon." She answered.

Jungkook could feel her smile through her words.

It hurt him even more, because he was not the reason behind it.

"W-was that your boyfriend?" He asked in a somewhat, torn voice.

"No, you're mistaken. It's my fiancé Jungkook. I'm getting married next week."

"Wh-what?" Jungkook felt as though someone stabbed his heart a thousand times, that made his voice go numb.

Lisa heaved a loud sigh for one last time. "Jungkook, from the firs day we met as kids, I had cared for you, I had loved you with all my heart. I just wanted you to trust me in return, I was okay even if you couldn't reciprocate those feelings for me. Once upon a time, you were my safe haven. You chose to break my trust, break our friendship. I didn't care if you loved me, but all I wanted was some respect or me as a friend, yet you neglected me as someone who wasn't necessary in your life. Regret comes late, I truly understand. It was all in the past. I have found someone who truly loves me and someone who would never break my trust. We can't get back together Jungkook, not even as friends because everything was demolished into a million fragments and there's no way to rebuild a relationship with nothing left as a foundation. I forgive you Jungkook, but I don't expect you to contact me again. Goodbye, I hope you will find someone like I have. Wish you all the best." Lisa explained, before the call dropped.

Jennie, who had been hearing every detail through the phone call was shocked beyond words could convey. She somehow wished to know more, the reason that resulted in the heartbreak of such a lovely relationship. Maintaining her ground, the radio jockey spoke through the mic, "Jungkook, are you there? I know it has been tough, are you alright?"

"I will be fine, I have to be. She has started a new chapter in her life, she's getting married to the man of her dreams. I don't serve any purpose by clinging onto the last string of fate thinking she will come back. T-thank you so much for helping me, Ms Jennie. Good night." Jungkook sniffed, before ending the call.

Lisa leaned against the wall as she sat on the roof of her bungalow, staring at her phone with a heavy sigh. She scrolled through the pictures in her phone gallery, one of the hidden folders that were marked as "Favourites." She stared at the selfie she took with Jungkook on their ice-cream date, him cutely kissing her cheek as they wore twinning outfits. Her hand hesitantly traced through Jungkook's cheeks, his lips as though feeling his cute bunny-like features.

"I guess its time to let go of you Koo. Thank you for the memories." She voiced out her thoughts, before she deleted the pictures in one go, her heart raced against her chest.

"Here you are. And I was looking around the whole house for you." Her smile widened, she patted at the space beside her as her fiancé joined her.

"You seem so quiet. Did I hurt you?"

"No, just a little....exhausted if thats what you would like to call." Her wrapped his arm around her shoulder, as she willingly let him. Her eyes twinkled when she mirrored his boxy smile, thinking how lucky she was to find him as her soulmate.

"Thank you Tae."

"Me? What did I do? For the chocolates?"

"No silly, for loving me so much. I love you."

"Honey, I love you more. We say so many I love yous a million times a day. I'm afraid the phrase will lose its meaning."

"At least its better than not hearing I love you at all."

Taehyung knitted his brows in confusion, trying to comprehend what Lisa was trying to mean.

"Don't do that, you look funny when you frown." Lisa leaned in and bopped her nose with his.

"Aww, I thought you loved it!" He whined, as Lisa gently pecked his lips.

"You wouldn't understand baby. Thank you for existing. I love you." She softly smiled, before snuggling into his neck.

On the other hand, Jungkook sat on his bed that was scattered in a number of polaroids of Lisa and him.

Holding one of the pictures together, he wistfully smiled.

Guess Lisa was right;

Regrets come too late.

fin.

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Elaborated Explanation
Requesting everyone to read this.

I would like to start my explanation with the following quote:

"Don't let your happiness depend on something you may lose." ~ C.S Lewis.

Jungkook in this story, like many others sought for happiness in Lisa because he was vulnerable after his first heartbreak. Because of his inability to comprehend his own feelings he ended up thinking every moment he shared with her was only to be a better man to Chaeyoung so that she accepts him back. Since Lisa was the only person he had ever opened up to, he started to take her kindness for granted, actually neglecting her feelings (by assuming that she will be fine with whatever excuse he puts up in pursuit of being the perfect boyfriend)as a whole without realising he could potentially lose her and thats what exactly happened.

The only reason I explained that I sympathise with him was the fact that he was raised in a broken household (his parents had separated, in case you missed reading in between lines), hence it contributed to the inability to communicate his thoughts. So he started to open up to Lisa and started to take her for granted, causing an unrequited love triangle between Jungkook, Lisa and Chaeyoung. Later he fell for Lisa as the two progressed with the relationship but Jungkook believed he was still in love with his ex (although he had tried his best to move on from her already). Moreover, Jungkook is truly fucked up when it came to understand what his heart wants (it happens with people in real life so some of y'all really need to calm the fuck down and understand this from a real world perspective before jumping in and arguing about every aspect depicted in the storyline). He fell in love with her indeed, but it was his inner conflict that caused him to take the wrong step and regret later. Chaeyoung never loved Jungkook and she only agreed to date him for the sake of her friendship with Lisa and so, she does not choose Jungkook in the end. Yes, Jungkook lost both of his loves, but there was one thing he was sure that stayed forever in his heart; REGRET.

I noticed how some people literally accused Jungkook of being a pathetic cheater who broke Lisa's heart, but no one gave a thought that the story was based from Lisa's point of view and she was completely oblivious to Jungkook's thoughts in the first place. But everyone must understand, it's not the villain who's always the antagonist in a storyline. It's the situation and twist of fate that causes the perception of something being good or evil.

Now many people who spammed the comments section and my dm's thinking I could provide a suitable happy ending by making Lisa forgive Jungkook and they end up together, the theory will be too far fetched to stand true in real world. The sole reason I issued a trigger warning of unhealthy relationship was NOT for Jungkook's infidelity, rather his lack of commitment towards Lisa in their relationship, that failed the base of their relationship. And a trust once hampered cannot be revived despite repeated trials (I'm trying to be realistic here, so please don't consume yourself in the world of fiction that you abandon the bitter reality) and therefore the reason why Lisa moved on with Taehyung in the end.

This story was initially supposed to go in a book where I could provide details and backstories surrounding the characters, however my drafts were deleted so I missed out a few details yet I hope these theories provide a satisfactory explanation for whoever still thinks the story is not justified yet. Yes, if you felt pain then this is how real angst develops in toxic relationships and this is the value I wanted to inculcate by writing the scenario, trying my best to relate it with real events.🤍

ㅡ Authornim.