Sadness.

Happiness.

When crushes existed, only two emotions ever came out of it. Both were the opposite of the spectrum. After realizing my feelings for Ambrose went deeper than a friendship, I already knew how this situation would go. He's in love with Lana; nothing could change that. But if I had to say silent, then I wanted to appreciate our friendship for as long as I can.

Yet, I somehow figured out a way to fuck it up.

Why on earth did I think kissing him was a good idea? The stupid moment had to feel so right, like those rom-com movies I spent months filming. But it wasn't right. Ambrose has no romantic feelings towards me. And I just kissed him. Goddamnit, wasn't I the one who promised to never cross this line again?

"Ugh!" I groaned, kicking my feet against the side of the building.

The view from the roof gave a sense of perspective that soothed my soul, that made the everyday struggles shrink. Expect for tonight. Though the stars of the black heavens to the lights of the blacktop streets were amazingly wonderful. The cityscapes told the story of us in colors, from the neon rainbow lights to the golden kitchen glowed.

My body jumped when the sound of the door slamming against the building. A shiver ran down my spine when I saw a fuzzy-haired silhouette creeping closer with something in their hand.

I gripped tighter on my jacket, and shouted, "Back off, creep! I have a knife and I'm not afraid to use it."

When in a dilemma, lie, lie and lie.

His hands were up in defense. "I was just coming here to clear my head."

His features registered in my mind when he wandered under the lights and used his empty hands to push his circular-shaped glasses. I always hated those things. They hid away the beautiful rawness of his sea-foam blue irises. We haven't spoken since the outburst during filming, but I would rather be stuck in a room with him over Ambrose.

I gnawed at my cheek. "Sorry, I didn't think anyone came up here unless they're murders or something."

Wesley placed the twelve-pack of beer on the floor and slid into the spot on the edge of the building, only a few inches away from me. Suddenly, the buttons on my jacket were the most interesting thing in the room and tried to keep the energy from shifting north.

The ringing of a beer opening filled the silence and had me craving one myself. The only good thing to come out of kissing Ambrose was stealing my two favorite wines from the table before running out like Cinderella. To my own shock, Wesley passed over a beer can on the edge, and I snatched it.

The cold beverage rolled down my throat, slightly leaving a burning sensation in its trail. Beer had an odd way of rekindling relationships, whether positively or negatively. We ended our hook-up situation in an immature, disrespectful way, and it was totally my fault. Wesley deserved to be with someone loving, trusting, caring, and many aspects, I lacked.

"I'm sorry." My eyes expanded when we both spoke in unison.

I snickered. "What are you saying sorry about?"

Wesley sighed heavily. "That day in the studio. I shouldn't have called you those vile things. Nothing excuses my behavior. You made our situation clear from the beginning. I was the one hoping for a relationship and you didn't deserve to be treated like that. I didn't mean anything, I said."

I whirled around the beer can on the edge. "You shouldn't have to act like the nice guy all the time. Your feelings, your shouting were completely validated, and never once did I hold it against you. Yes, it stung, but the truth always does."

Wesley opened his mouth to respond, but he comprehended what I just said, and his features were immediately replaced with a frown. "It's not the truth. I was just being a bitter asshole. I just really liked you... I still really like you but don't worry I respect your relationship with Ambrose, I'm not going to try anything."

I giggled, a burp accidentally escaping from my throat. "I would be surprised if you didn't. But I'm happy we're clearing the air. It's long overdue. Though why are you still ignoring Ambrose if you aren't upset about our relationship anymore?"

He looked at me over his shoulder. "I'm not sure. I think I'm upset at him for lying and shit. He could've been upfront about everything and I would've forgiven him, but he intentionally hid it on purpose. Besides, I'm crazy about you and want you in my life any way I can get."

Guilt pang my veins. Because of the contract, Ambrose lost one of his friends who matched him perfectly. Though all I did was offer the arrangement, Ambrose wagered Wesley's friendship to make Lana jealous, so I guess that spokes volumes on what he valued.

I swung my legs back and forth at the edge of the building, finishing up the last sips of beer. "How can you be crazy about me? We only knew each other for a month, besides I acted like a bratty bitch most of the time."

Wesley humourlessly chuckled under his breath. "I should be asking you. Didn't you fall in love with Ambrose in like a month?"

My mouth formed into a straight line. "Psst... in love? I-I don't love him. He's a dummy, fluffy idiot."

He sent me a side-eyed glance. "Oh."

Scorching heat rose my cheeks at my shitty lie. Also, I forgot he wasn't asking the real Davina; he was asking the Davina flaunting her relationship to the world. Only that Davina was 'in love' with him. Because that's a completely fucking insane thought.

I laughed nervously. "Jk! Just kidding! I love Ambrose! He's the best."

A loud rumble of laughter escaped from Wesley's lips. He clutched his stomach and began silently chuckling. His finger dried the tears coming from his eyes, and he opened another beer can.

"You can drop the act, Davina."

My neck could've snapped from how hard I turned. "W-what are you talking about?"

He stared at me for a long moment before his lips twitched at the sides into a small smirk. "Your relationship with Ambrose. I know it's fake."

The air was ripped from my lungs. "Huh? I-I'm not sure what you're talking about. Ambrose and I are very much in love."

Wesley narrowed his eyes at me. "Yeah, I think one of you guys loves the other, but it isn't as mutual as portrayed to media."

I looked at him, challenging. "I don't know what you're talking about. We're very much real, and in love."

He clenched his jaw and sighed, "Can you be fucking honest for once, Davina? I'm not some random outsider. I'm here as a person who cares about you and wants the best for you."

"I am being honest." I gritted through my teeth.

"You aren't. Do you want to know how I know?" Wesley asked, his eyes searching for a response in mine. "Three words. Milo and Ambrose. They never heard of inside voices and always talked about your PR relationship in our hotel room. I think they assumed I wasn't listening, but I was."

A sigh of relief departed from my lips. "Oh? But you can't tell anyone else about it, okay? Promise?" I stick out my pinkie finger.

He chuckled and entangled our fingers. "Promise. I wouldn't betray you like that. Since I found out, I've been plucking up the courage to speak to you, but you and Ambrose are like duct-taped to each other. I'm surprised, you guys aren't spending, Valentine's day spoiling your fan with pictures."

An idea strike in my head. The only person I spent time with opposed to my managers was Ambrose; a person would naturally grow romantic feelings with someone you spend every living moment with. If I make friends with other co-stars, then my feelings for Ambrose would disappear like magic.

Right?

I removed a beer from his twelve-pack and pointed at it for his approval. After earning his nod, I opened the can and drank all sense of sanity into the abyss. "Gosh, do we really spend that much time together? Makes sense. That's why I ditched him tonight and came up here to enjoy the night sky."

His eyes glimmered with amusement. "Really?"

"Yes, really!" My voice went against my wishes by going up a few octaves.

"So the girl running out of the studio with two wine bottles in her hand, wasn't you?" Wesley asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

Maybe Wesley knew me better than I thought. My guard was always up around him, but after a few drinks, the shield would lower an inch. We shared simple things like our favorite childhood moments or dance playlist for the gym. If I hadn't gotten frightened of my feelings back then, maybe these romantic feelings would be towards him.

But the universe had a mysterious way of working.

"Yeah, I ran out because I wanted some fresh air. Duh?" I laughed nervously before sipping on my best friend (the beer can).

Wesley chuckled, his face growing redder since he moved on to his third beer. "For being an actress, you're a really bad liar. Just like when I asked if you loved him."

My eyebrows knitted together. "Yeah, I lied because I was trying to keep the truth of our PR relationship under wraps. You could've just told me you knew because of Milo before making me act like a fumbling idiot."

His dark eyebrows furrowed, creating a crease between them. "Oh, okay. For a second, I thought you stumbled over your words because you love him."

I choked on my beer.

Wesley shimmy over, patting his large hands on my back as support. "What kind of idiot would fall for their fake significant other?"

Anger bubbled in my gut. "Me! Okay! I'm an idiot sandwich who's secretly hoping her fake boyfriend likes her back. Now, can we please change the subject because I hate acknowledging this!" My cheeks grew beetroot red at my drunken confession.

My eyes narrowed into murderous slits as Wesley hysterically snorted, unable to stop the beer from pouring out his nose. "Stop fucking laughing at me! Do you know how hard it is to confess your feelings to someone?"

A goofy grin spread over his face, and he put his hands up defensively. "I just didn't expect you to admit it so easily."

I groaned, throwing my hands in the air and knocking a bit of liquid from the beer can. "Give me a break! I downed two bottles of red wine, two beers, and randomly kissed my fake-boyfriend so my sanity is out of the question."

He mindlessly ran his tongue over his bottom lip and took a moment before answering, "Sanity and bad decision are two different things."

My eyes bulged. "Kill me! How am I supposed to face Ambrose again?"

Wesley draped his arm over my shoulder and handed over his half-drunken can. "I'm kidding. You can't blame yourself for what you feel, Davina. It's only natural to act on it even if it makes things awkward."

A small chuckle escaped my lips. "I'm so fucked. Is there any way this can end in happiness?"

He shrugged. "Have you thought about the slight chance Ambrose could like you back? You're an amazing girl."

"Really?" My eyebrows perked up. "What's so amazing about me?"

Wesley cracked open another can. "You're strong enough to brush off hate comments and to always continue life head-on. It's admirable of you to still value and love your father, even after he ditched your family. Most important though, you liked to pretend you hate the entire world when you work your damn hardest to fulfill everyone's promises."

My lips pursed. "Are you sure that's me? I think you're confusing me with someone who actually cares."

He sent a 'are you kidding me' glance. "Davina, your confidence reaches to the sky but when it comes to how you perceive yourself to others, you're wrong. I could be biased since I have a major crush on you, but you're everyone's dream girl."

"Not Ambrose. His heart belongs to Lana fucking Hart. Wait." I shook my head. "Novak. I can't even hate her because she's the nicest person I've meant, and it feels great to have a friend that isn't Ambrose. I don't blame him at all for being in love with her... It took five minutes of talking to her to see that."

His blue eyes darkened, shimmering with sorrowfulness. "You're in luck! I'm the master of curing broken hearts, but we can't cure your heart if you keep everything bottled up. I think you should be honest with Ambrose."

"Ugh." I groaned, loudly. "I'm not drunk enough to entertain this idea. Also, why were you so sure that I had feelings for him? Do I make it obvious?"

"Does laughing from across the studio at Ambrose putting chopsticks in his mouth to act like Walrus count?" He dug his elbow into my love handles.

Realization dawned on me. "Holy fuck. I'm one of those lovesick girls in rom-com movies. This is horrible. I'm too far lost to fix this."

"You make it sound like you have a disease," Wesely playfully retorted.

I huffed. "Because it is! Your emotions and body temperature changes like they would when you get sick. Do you think it's time to check into a mental institution?"

Shock washed over my body when Wesley gripped my shoulders to face him. "Jesus, the alcohol is not helping you process this. There's nothing wrong with having a crush on someone. So, what if he doesn't return the feeling? He will lose this amazing girl over someone who's married."

"I'm scared," I whispered under my breath.

There's only been two people I cared about before Ambrose; Colton and Wesley. In both situations, I had the pleasure of skipping the heartbreak part (at least in the crush stage). Colton and I had an innocent, pure relationship in our preteen years, which made the fear of getting rejected nonexistent. With Wesley, my feelings grew at a rapid pace and I fled before jumping into a stage I wasn't ready for.

The past few months, I've merged into a healthier mindset. The conversation with my father especially helped with that. Though I still had another ninety-nine reasons to despise myself, I had one very important reason to love myself. The thought of being in a long-term relationship hadn't frightened me like it did months back.

I think I'm ready to leap onto the next step.

But never in millions of years did I think I would want to try this out with Ambrose.

"Davina," Wesley whispered, gently tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. "You know Ambrose better than everyone. Do you really think he will act like an asshole after you confess your feelings? He's one of the nicest guys I know, and I'll be so fucking shook if he didn't have feelings for you, already."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought our bodies close enough so I can stuff my face into his neck. "Thank you for the pep talk, but please keep my feelings between us."

He ran his fingers through my hair like a soothing presence. "I wouldn't even think about it."

Seems like the bond between Wesley and Davina is salvageable... Is anyone loving this friendship? Or do you guys just wanna go back to Ambrose?

Love you guys and can't wait to hear your thoughts!!! ❤️❤️❤️