Love.

I used to think love could conquer anything. If someone had enough passion in their hearts, they would be able to achieve anything. But as weeks crawled at a snail's pace in the Novak household, I started to lose faith. Our relationship hasn't been the same since the celebration over a month ago.

We went days without even acknowledging each other's existence; I always noticed Declan, but whenever I would try to make the first step, he pulled away. He made me feel as if I was a disease he didn't want to catch or farted so badly; he wanted to leave as fast as possible. The atmosphere around the house was tense and strained, leaving our parents baffled about our lack of enthusiasm.

Declan and I would share our bed, but we were further apart than ever before. I wished I knew the root of our problems. Did he just not care about me anymore? Had he fallen out of love with me? Am I too much for him to handle? Did he even care about the relationship if he hasn't bothered to fight for it?

"Time is up," my professor announced, walking to row one and began collecting the materials.

Mao nudged my shoulder. "How good you think you did?"

I stretched my arms over my head. "I'm exhausted, but I feel pretty good about it."

"Wow!" Mai smiled as she clapped her hands in excitement.

We swung our chairs around to face Dara and Ismael at their desk with a running Jimena joining us. Two weeks ago, when Dara spoke, those things in my ear about potentially having feelings, I was terrified to hang with him again. I felt so dirty like I cheated on Declan, so I pulled away even more.

I avoided him for an entire week, making excuses on why I couldn't join the study sessions until I got behind on my work. Then I had no choice but to show up.

When I ran into Dara, he acted as if his confession never happened and nagged me about being behind on my essay. I was grateful for that. Because it didn't make sense for someone like Dara to care about little old me.

Dara arched his eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

I gently flicked the strands of hair on his forehead. "Of course! I've done nothing but study for weeks."

Ismael sprung from his seat once the professor took his materials. "Didn't Professor Nichols's class have an exam too? Let's go ask Declan about how he did?"

My heart dropped. "Huh?"

Jimena and Ismael latched onto my arms and hauled me from my chair. "Do you not care about your husband's result?"

"Declan always does great. He's never failed a test in his life," I replied, swallowing the lump in my throat.

Ismael laughed. "I'm sure you're right, but I'm going to ask him. Besides, it gives me an excuse to talk to him. Hurry! Let's go before he leaves! Dara, you're coming too!"

He groaned. "Why do I have to follow you on your weekly stalking Declan sessions? I have better things to do, you know."

Ismael arched his drawn-in brow with a hand on his hip. "Like what? Study? You can study later!" He grabbed onto Dara's hoodie, dragging him along with us, using his superhuman strength. Seriously, how much does he lift at the gym to be hauling both our bodies down half the school?

Dara and I exchanged a flustered look as we bumped into students, trees, garbage cans, and the doorway. Finally, we were released from our shackles upon entering the study hall, while my handsome husband was engrossed in a novel. He went through fifty books this last month from the lack of us talking.

"Declan!" Ismael cheered, morphing his voice into a lighter, airy tone. "How did you do on the test? Did you work your brain too hard? I offer free head massages!"

His eyebrows bunched together. "Test? Oh, that... Bad."

My eyes widened to the size of saucers. "What!"

"You have to be joking!" Jimena exaggeratedly. "It's impossible for the great Declan to get anything lower than a one-hundred. It's a joke, right?"

"It was the worst I ever did."

Jimena's eyes widened as her purse plunged from her shoulders. "This can't be happening! Tiger fucking won the bet. I can't go on a date with that loser. He's obsessed with me. Ismael save me!" She dramatically fell backward into his arms as they shuffled over to another desk.

It left me the opportunity to creep closer to Declan. "Is that true, Declan?"

Declan closed his book, dropping it into his bag as he got up. "Yeah."

My stomach constricted. "Are you okay? Do you have a fever?" I asked, placing my hand underneath the strands of hair on his forehead, checking his temperature.

My mind went hazy, like being in a spiraling rollercoaster for too long when Declan's palm wrapped around my wrist, but all the joy slipped away when he shoved my hand away.

"Forget it. I'm fine," he deadpanned. "Bye. I'll see you."

I glanced at my waist as if it was an alien. It's the most contact Declan and I had in weeks, but nonetheless, he pulled away. It's frustrating. I couldn't analyze his movements and come up with a conclusion because he's never acted like this before. Even when I was pursuing him, he would never, ever pull away when I touched him. Just complained.

"What's going on?" Ismael strutted over with a tremendous smirk. "I sense an awkward tension between you two. Did you have a fight?"

I peered at the floor, pouting. "No."

"Hmmm," he hummed. "But he acts as if he doesn't like you.

My eyebrows jumped to my forehead at his verdict. "No way! He's just a little tired!"

"Mmmm." He patted my back. "Now that Jimena has to go on a date with Tiger, all my rivals are dropping like flies." He chuckled like a manic as he skipped away.

I stomped my foot on the ground and screamed. "He's just tired!"

"Calm down," Dara said.

"But!" My lips protruded into a pout.

"Has it been this way for long?" Dara asked.

"Yeah..."

Dara combed his fingers through his hair. "Hmm. It's been a month since that night. Is it me?"

I laughed. "No! It doesn't concern you at all," I said, wandering after the girls until a tug at my arm brought me in between Dara's legs.

His finger snaked past my forehead, nudging my bangs out from my eyes, shooting a ray of goosebumps up my arms. "I told you not to say that."

My smile dropped, replaced with one of confusion. "Huh?"

"It concerns me."

I gulped. "But you were joking that night, right?"

"I wasn't joking," he blurted, his pointer fingers holding my chin in place so I wouldn't pull away in fright. "I'm serious about what I said."

My heart pounded at the sound of drums. "Dara..."

"Lana, someone as great as you don't deserve to get pushed around like this. You'll never be happy with someone like him..." His finger tapped my bottom lip, his eyes burning a hole of concern through mine. "I wouldn't take advantage of you or be embarrassed to be around you. I'll make sure you never feel unappreciated, unloved, because I love you, Lana. So divorce him and come to my apartment. It's small, but we could make do for now."

"A. Um. Ha-."

"Think about it," Dara replied, pulling me in the tightest bear hug I had in months.

Two days later.

All humanity had been lost. I wanted to disappear, shrink, shrivel up into dust all because of this. Because I was overly confident, my grades turned out to be worse than predicted. I didn't even gain enough points to hit the middle mark and failed it horribly. Dara scolded me for being so upbeat about these horrible grades. He thought I could've done better.

But I only passed tests when Declan helped to study.

Catalina, Meadow, and I met in a kitty coffee shop that was painted pink and purple, with cat paw prints everywhere. Since the due date crept closer, Cata's new best friend had been the toilet, so Meadow and I ordered for her. We got a bundle of cookies, cupcakes, candies in hopes of dying of a sugar rush.

"Maybe I'll go to church," I said, dumping my head on Meadow's shoulder. "Nothing's working out for me lately."

She patted my head. "You still haven't made up with Declan?"

"Nope." I sighed. "I thought I'd get good grades on my test so I could impress Declan and we could make up. But it didn't happen."

"Mmm..." she hummed, tapping her chin. "What should she do in this situation, Cata?"

My eyes widened at the sight of her diamond-cut ring on her finger, and I jolted from my spot. "Holy Christmas nuts! Did Cameron purpose? Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"

Meadow's mouth dropped. "Holy shit. How did I miss that before?"

Cata fancied the brightest smile. "He asked me about a week ago. He wants us to get married after the baby arrives and become a family. Cameron even thinking about quitting the band because he says wherever I am, that's his home. We haven't worked out any of the details, but I'm happy."

My heart swelled with happiness. "I'm so happy for you, Cata! You and Cameron are going to be the best parents, and this baby is so lucky to have you guys. I can't wait for the wedding! You would look gorgeous in that wedding dress."

Her face cringed. "Just think about all the baby weight I'll have scares me. I never imagined my wedding to turn out like this."

"Isn't that the beauty in life?" Meadow chimed in. "To expect the unexpected and live life every day?"

Catalina grinned, her eyes growing damp. "Can you believe after this semester, our paths are going in opposite directions? I don't think I would've survived high school and college without you guys." Her pregnancy hormones must've affected me because I felt the tears forming.

"We still have a month. Why are we talking about this now?" Meadow groaned; she always hated getting emotional.

"Besides, we will only be a phone call away. I'm still staying in the city until I finish my degree. Meadow is moving to California for her producer job. Ambrose is staying in the city and you are moving upstate, only a drive away. Life has thrown curveballs at us, but we always went out on top. This is one of those situations."

Cata used the table to balance herself onto her feet and moved over to the booth, squishing between us. "You should hurry up and make up with Declan." She laughed, rubbing my present food baby. "And make a baby, too. So our babies can become besties! You both have to come to the wedding, and I don't want you guys still fighting by then."

I smiled awkwardly. "Sure... I guess."

The tension could be sliced with a knife. Declan and I couldn't be in the same room for longer than ten minutes before one of us retreated into our hideout. Today it was me. I skipped dinner and focused on my studies, but when Declan came storming in, I walked out to help Mrs. Novak with the dishes.

But I felt like a coward. Why was I hiding? Was it because I'm afraid of finding out the truth? The reality of Declan falling out of love with me? My heart felt like it was getting stabbed repeatedly at the thought. Declan is the only man I'll ever love. There's no second-guessing. There's no other guy in the universe that made me feel like he did.

But there's only so much agony I could take before I exploded like an overfilled helium balloon. So, I'm taking the first step tonight in trying to fix the ripple between us.

Before I knocked on the door, I panicked and turned away, wanting to run into the shadows with the ghost. But I took a deep breath, and whispered, "I can do this." I knocked on the door and opened it with a smile. "Declan... can I talk to you?"

His eyebrows furrowed, stopping mid-way on whatever he was typing. "What?"

I giggled awkwardly. "I have some amazing news!" My giggles kept escaping my lips like a coping mechanism as I paced around the room. "Cameron asked Cata to marry him! Isn't that awesome! I wonder what their wedding theme will be!"

"That's nice," Declan deadpanned.

My smile faltered. "Yeah. She also wants us to attend the wedding. Meadow and I might even be her maid of honor. Who knows?"

"Okay."

I stared off in the distance, imagining the different scenarios we could get ourselves into helping her plan the wedding. "Maybe it will be a Princess theme since Cata loves being one, and we can't forget about the baby. He or she is probably going to be so stinky adorable. Ah... I can't wait. I love weddings! I wouldn't mind getting married all over again." I glanced in his direction, watching his attention on the computer. "Obviously with you, silly."

"Is that all?" he asked.

My grin vanished into another universe, replaced by the urge to cry helplessly on my pillow. "Mmm." I nodded, my heart falling to the pits of my stomach. "Sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you while you were studying."

So many emotions ran through me. In a way, they all morphed into one thing; misery. These past months, the volcano within kept dormant, taking in every action Declan threw at me with an optimistic outlook. But there's only so much I could take before the lava gushed out of me.

Tonight might've been that night.

Because as I wandered to the door, my hand lingered on the handle, but I couldn't find the strength to turn it. My tears blurred my vision.

And before I knew it, the volcano erupted.

Storming over to my bed, I grabbed my pillows, thrusting them in his direction, screaming, "You!" With every hit. Frustration clawed at my heart. How could he act as if he didn't care about me?

It's because he doesn't Lana.

"What's wrong with you?"

Next went my blanket. "You!"

"Hey! Lana!" he shouted.

Then stuffed animals. "You! You! You!"

Anger, frustration, pain, sadness swirled through my veins like an injected drug. All my actions reflected that. I wanted Declan to feel everything I've been keeping in the past months. With tears streaming down my cheeks, I hurled books from our bookshelves onto the floor and accidentally slammed them against my foot.

"Stop! What are you doing?" Declan grabbed my shoulder, but I yanked away, not wanting to feel his touch.

"This is all wrong! This isn't how it should be!" I bawled, heaving with every word. "I hate this. I can't stand it anymore. Do you know how it feels to be married to someone who can't even look at me? You don't care about me at all! You don't care what I do!"

"La-."

"Dara told me he loves me!" I confessed. His eyes widened immediately. Finally, in over a month, I had gotten a reaction. "He told me to leave you... You don't love me anymore, do you?" I shook my head. "That's not it... You never loved me!"

"Calm down," he said. His touch was like poison on my shoulders.

Using his chest, I pushed him away with all my might. "No! I'm not going to calm down! Why are you telling me to calm down?"

His deadpanned expression cracked a hint of anguish dawdling in his brown irises. "Lana..."

The facet in my eyes was never-ending. I sobbed, whimpered, yelp, struggling to force out the question that's been bothering me for years. "Wh-aat do you like about m-ee, Declan? Why... Wh-y did you marr-ry me i-if you were going to treat me like this? I'm the only one... that loves you.

I-I thought it was enough... but I can't do this!"

"Lana!" Declan seized my arm, almost like he's clinging onto me for dear life.

"Please let me go!" I shrieked, trying to force myself from his grip.

Declan obeyed, letting my arm slip from his grasp, letting me slip from his grasp, and I ran. I sprinted towards the door, ignoring the pleads of our parents behind us, and stormed out before anyone could stop me.

I didn't know where I was going to go.

But I couldn't stay home.

It took an enormous amount of resistance to let Lana go. I wanted to run after her, beg her for forgiveness, crawl on my knees until she understood how much she meant to me. This was my fault; I took her for granted. I struggled to put a handle on my feelings and I lost the love of my life because of it.

I kicked my foot through the door. As the wood planks dug into my skin, I relished in the pain because it compared to nothing to the misery in my heart. After pulling it out, I slid down the door until I made contact with the ground.

My hands reached over to the bright pink frame on the floor, flipping over to see a crack in our wedding picture. How fucking ironic. Thanks, universe. I chucked it at the wall; the silence shattering with the photo smashing.

My head fell to my knees as the tears slipped out. I didn't deserve to fight for her. Lana deserved to be happy, not crying because her husband was a moron.

I love you.

I love you so fucking much.

I couldn't have done anything worse than let you believe I didn't care.

Maybe Dara would treat her better, but I didn't want to lose her. I wasn't ready to throw the bucket on our marriage.

But shouldn't I value her feelings, her life, her potential? If Dara was the person who could give her an amazing life, then shouldn't I let her go? Her well-being came first to me. Even before my selfishness. I loved her so fucking much, but I overstayed my welcome. I got her to marry me.

That only was a fucking miracle.

Do I act out on selfishness and fight for her? Or should I do what's best for Lana and let her go?