Today's a Saturday; and I can't be bothered to do anything! My sister, Emilie, hung out with me today. We just went to Starbucks, and she treated me to my favourite drink, Strawberries and Cream.

She asked how schools going, and I said great, even though it's not! She also asked how I was feeling, and I lied again! I can't tell her the truth, even though I want to.

At 3:00pm today, I went to Lawson's cliff, the biggest cliff- mountain thing, in Lawson's Creek! I walked all the at to the top; I couldn't even stop myself! I just felt myself being pushed over the the edge and I had to force myself to turn around! But, it felt so peaceful up there; I felt one with life and I just wanted to jump off for some thrill!

Is that a bad thing?

I don't want to commit suicide or anything, I just felt something pushing me to jump off. I don't want to kill myself, I just want to live a different life!

I met someone up there...I've never seen them before...he's called Michael. We got along well! He's deaf, you know! I like how he has learnt to speak through his hands, in sign-language! He's taught me some simple signs, like hello, how are you, and my name is...! He makes life feel good and fun. I am going to visit him everyday!

When I came home from Lawson's cliff, my parents came up to me; and asked to talk to me in the living room! I went in and sat down:

Mum: Honey, are you alright?
Dad: You haven't seemed yourself!
Me: I'm alright...
Mum: Are you sure?
Me: Yes...
Dad: You know you can speak to us whenever you want!
Me: I know...

After that, I just got up and left! I can't tell them what I'm going through! They won't listen, they won't care, they won't bother!

Anyway, it's late now! I should leave this world, and enter into the world of dreams...