Trigger Warning: Implied Suicide

Major Post-Wano spoilers!

At your own risk fellas!

~

Bepo bolted. He took his captain, secured him on his back and he bolted. He trusted his nakama, they would be fine, they had overcome worse.

They would be fine.

~

"Ah we are finally out of that place!" Nami sighed and relaxed on deck, looking over the numerous Vegapunks.

"Awohh! Vegapunk! Let me show you around Sunny!" Franky struck a pose and took majority of the weirdos with him, leaving a few of the Strawhats on the deck. Jinbei was managing the helm, Sanji was cooking, Usopp was keeping a lookout.

Things had finally calmed down but the captain and the firstmate were still on edge. They had encountered one of the Gorosei, such a thing was not so easily dismissed.

Luffy was slouched on the railing, looking at the waves crashing against the ship, Zoro was starting to doze off by the younger's feet. They were both getting towards the calm after a battle but it was all too soon dissipated when they felt a presence in their range of haki.

"Someone's approaching." Zoro said.

"Yeah." Luffy nodded and strained his eyes and haki. "It's Torao!" The captain jumped on the railing, Zoro grabbed the back of his shirt so he wouldn't fall off. Luffy strained his senses more and his smile fell. The captain quickly located his reindeer doctor fanning himself and called for him. "Chopper! Something's wrong!"

"Wha-" Chopper was quickly on his feet and scurried to Luffy the exact moment when something jumped out of the sea and onto the Sunny's deck.

The quiet chattering going around the ship suddenly died down with the arrival of a white bear mink in an orange jumpsuit, cradling, very close to his furry body, his captain.

"He's flat-lined multiple times on the way here," Bepo informed Chopper who didn't waste time and got into his human form so he could take the tall surgeon out of the bear's protective grip. There was barely any pulse or breathing movement, the injuries were draining the body of blood very quickly. The situation was very bad. "I keep bringing him back with Electro but he keeps going away." Bepo's words were barely coherent but to Chopper animal ears, they were loud enough.

"Leave him to me." Chopper said and took Law in his arms and ran for the infirmary, not stopping to listen, acknowledge or answer the numerous questions that were being thrown at him, the man in his arms was breaking more and more with the passing second and the young doctor didn't want his Captain to lose this one person.

"Bepo! Are you ok! What happened!" Nami was the first to snap out of the trance everyone had fallen into. She quickly went to the bear's side and helped him sit on the grass.

"Captain... captain is..." Bepo couldn't speak through the thick tears that were falling out of his eyes, not stopping once he realized he had made it to the Strawhats and that there was now a chance for his captain to be saved. Nami and Robin patted the mink to help him relax but he was inconsolable.

"What happened?" Luffy asked and everyone shut up at the same time, again. The air got heavy and the skies felt darker than before. Luffy's voice was low but it carried the danger as per the yonko's reputation.

Bepo couldn't answer, not to this person. The bear knew what might happen if Luffy found out that it was Blackbeard again, messing with his loved ones. So Bepo stayed quiet, it wasn't his place to say anything but he still had to say something. "Thank you for not turning me away but I cannot say anything unless my captain tells me to."

"Chopper will fix Torao, don't worry." The young captain grinned, running his hand through the mink's fur and patting him on the head, the most he could do was comfort Torao's friend.

"Thank you!" Bepo bawled, loud.

"We are nakama."

~

Law saw light from behind closed eyelids and moved his eyes, he didn't have enough energy to open them. The doctor didn't know where he was and how he got there. His thoughts and memories were all over the place, there was a dense fog in his general area of thought and he couldn't get out of it or see through it.

Wait... this bed feels awfully familiar... this feels like... the Thousand Sunny... ah right, we must be heading to Green Bit...

Law's thoughts came to a stop when he felt what could only be Bepo's huge paw in his hand and upon registration, his thoughts restarted.

So not Green Bit... we are at Zou...

Then what am I doing on the Sunny...

No wait, this must be Wano...

Then there was a flash of memories.

Can't be... we defeated Kaido and Big Mom so...

Another flash of memories, this time ending with a blast that broke the Polar Tang in two, making it sink to the sea bed... all alone, abandoned.

Abandoned...

And Law lost consciousness again.

.

"Any change?" Chopper asked entering the infirmary to change Law's bandages.

"He was moving his eyes behind his eyelids... I don't think he is aware of the situation yet or conscious enough." Bepo informed, not having left his captain's side for three days.

Chopper noted the details down and made a face when he undid the bandages and saw the padding reddened. "This is bad... if this is just from a few moments of delirious consciousness, when he does wake up properly, he would need to stay calm or he's going to open all these wounds."

"But Captain's alive, I can't thank you enough." Bepo was crying again, nuzzling Law's hand.

"We are nakama."

~

Bepo was there when Law woke up and to the polar bear mink, it felt like time had been reversed thirteen years. Law had woken with his memories intact. Bepo wasn't seeing his strong captain though, the person in front of him was the small, scarred and scared human kid who silently cried at night from his never ending nightmares, who tried to be strong but failed at times, who was so young but burdened with so much tragedy.

The only difference the Law in front of Bepo carried was that he wasn't even putting a brave front. The surgeon's face gave off raw emotions, all of them hurting worse with the passage of time.

Chopper looked after Law's wounds, talking to him about the nature of his numerous injuries and their probable healing time, but Law didn't comprehend anything.

Sanji brought Law warm and nutritious meals but the patient couldn't acknowledge his hunger, let alone eat. Chopper had to hook Law on hydration IVs on his second day of consciousness.

Nami, Robin, Usopp, Franky, Brook and Jinbei, all brought different forms of company, as did Zoro, but Law didn't even look at them.

Not even Luffy was able to get through to him. Law's eyes and mind were vacant of any thought until slowly, his body caught up with its habits of sleeplessness and then began the downward spiral. Bepo was glad it was only him with Law when that happened, the mink had experience with guiding his captain through panic attacks but this was different, this was much more intense.

Law had broken down like he had never before and it scared his friend a lot but he tried his best to help, to ground Law, to tell him that everything would be fine. But it still took time, hours into the long night. Law was then calm, eerily so. And then he had smiled.

"Thank you for saving me, Bepo."

.

The next day, Law had actually listened to what Chopper was explaining and had agreed to a warm bath, upon hearing which, Luffy jumped at the opportunity to take charge of the chore.

"No funny business Luffy! And be mindful of the stitches!" Chopper reminded as Luffy closed the bathroom door and sat Law down on the chair Usopp had put in the area to make things easier.

Law was barely aware of what was happening until the water hit his skin and the younger captain began patting and tapping Law's skin to clean it. All through being cleaned, Law could hear his heart thudding in his chest, too loud, but at least it was beating.

"Come on Torao, time for the soak." Luffy said and Law once again had to focus his brain on his surroundings. Time seemed to pass too quickly. The surgeon let himself be manhandled and helped into the big tub. "Wait... this wasn't here before, not when we left Wano at least." Luffy said and gathered Law's attention to where the younger's eyes were fixed.

Law looked at the inside of his left upper arm.

There was a white patch.

A white patch of...

Law couldn't finish or process the thought further, his loudly thudding heart had come to a full stop.

.

Chopper had to bring Law back to life for the nth time and forbade Luffy from being near the older captain until he was stable. Luffy was already angry and upset from the news, Robin had showed him, they painted it like Torao was dead, the image was of Torao's sword slammed upright in the ground and the white hat resting on the hilt, it looked like a grave. Luffy was overcome with uncontrollable rage when he read next that Torao was that hurt because of Blackbeard. Luffy was already very upset from the entire truth that Bepo told them after the bits were revealed in the news, and now Chopper was banning him from seeing his lover... Luffy was sad, angry, guilty. Luffy wasn't himself.

.

"I need you to go back to the Winner's island and find out what happened after we left. We are already pronounced dead, nobody is going to be looking for us." Law said after a few days of his another cardiac arrest. He was doing as fine as someone who went through his type of tragedy did. It was just Law and his firstmate in the infirmary.

"No! I cannot leave you alone here!"

"That's an order Bepo." Law glared.

"No." The bear said back, resolute. "You need to get better so we can go back together and rebuild the crew."

"The Strawhats are going to be passing through the waters near the Winner's island in a few days, you are to gather information till then and join me back here."

Bepo narrowed his beady eyes. "Why does this feel like you are sending me away so you can do something stupid?"

"I won't. I'm worried about the crew... I need to know what happened..." Law said and closed his eyes, continuing, "how much I've lost this time..."

Seeing the man in front of him, seeing his captain like this, seeing his best friend, Bepo knew the right thing to do was affirm the whereabouts of the crew and formulate a plan and a strategy to rebuild, but he was still conflicted about leaving Law all alone. Luffy's grin passed through the mink's head then and he stood up, heading for the door.

"We haven't lost everyone Captain, the Strawhats are nakama too."

~

Law got his thoughts straight on what he had to do after Bepo left and much against Tony-ya's advice and anxiety, Law left the infirmary bed at random times of the day. Sometimes he would walk till the kitchen, sometimes just a few steps onto the grassy deck, sometimes he would ascend the stairs to the upper deck. This all stopped when the care in everyone's eyes and actions turned to pity. That was when Law decided to end this.

"Torao, Chopper said you shouldn't be walking around much." Luffy hovered, unsure on his steps. It was the middle of the night and the captain was supposed to keep watch on the horizon from the anchored ship but he was walking beside Law the moment the older left the infirmary again.

"Go bring me a chair then." Law said, he was pulling too many stitches moving like he was, without much rest. He took support against the railing and stopped walking.

"Ok! Stay here." Luffy was off, his big black coat flying behind him.

Law looked around the ship, nobody else was up, the lights in the kitchen were on, Kuroashi-ya was awake but it would be too late by the time anybody would figure out what had happened. Law looked at the sky, he looked at his hands and closed his eyes. He was being a coward but he was ok with that.

.

Luffy got back to tell Torao that none of the chairs were available at the moment and that he should sit somewhere else till Luffy got the bed out but Law was nowhere to be found. The rubber boy looked around thinking the doctor had went back to the infirmary and checked there but he wasn't there too. Luffy scrunched his face in thought and went back to the railing to stand there and think that if he was Torao, where he would go.

Luffy couldn't think like Torao and it made him irritated, so he slumped on the railing and looked at the ocean instead. The relaxed posture was gone in an instant. Luffy wasn't an idiot, he knew what bubbles emerging from beneath the surface of the water meant.

"ZORO! SANJI!" Luffy called but didn't wait for his two friends and took off his hat and coat to jump in the water.

"Luffy! Stop!" Jinbei pulled the captain back, away from the railing and left the job to the blond cook whose observation haki was already disturbed from the moment Law left the infirmary.

The rubber man's breathing was caught in his throat all the long seconds it took for Sanji to find Law, his wide eyes were scanning the surface of the water, willing Sanji to break the surface with the other captain. Luffy felt powerless in that moment, he couldn't swim, he couldn't save Law, he couldn't even anticipate something like this would happen.

Everyone had woken up from the commotion and Chopper was especially panicked since he knew the extent of Law's injuries, he was worried exposure to sea water would make it all worse.

"Tch, what is taking the cook so long?" Zoro complained, about ready to jump in the water himself, he couldn't bear the horror stricken face of his captain.

"Get him up!" Sanji yelled as soon his head broke through the surface with Law in tow. Luffy shit his hands towards the both and brought them on deck, coughing and huffing. "He's bleeding a lot."

"I'm on it!" Chopper moved to check on Law but the other doctor glared at the reindeer so hard, he stopped in his tracks.

"Leave me alone!" Law yelled, a strange burst of haki accompanying his words. Everyone stopped in their tracks, they had felt this brand of haki before, from their own captain. It was the haki of the Supreme King. "Let me die already!"

Robin sprouted arms and tapped everyone on their shoulders, silently telling them to leave the captains alone. It took a little to ease the two wings' apprehensions but they too left Luffy alone with Law, on the deck, in the middle of the night.

"Torao..." Luffy called and dropped himself on his knees in front of his lover, sad and broken that Law was driven to throw himself overboard.

Law didn't look at Luffy, he couldn't, he knew if he did he would stop wanting to die so he closed his eyes and brought out the scalpel he was carrying in his pocket and dove for his own neck, wanting to end it quickly. But Luffy caught his blade in his hands and pulled.

"Stop!" Luffy screamed, horrified and since Law wasn't strong enough, the younger was able to pry the scalpel out of the older's hands, throwing it away from them both. Luffy cupped Law's face with his bleeding hands and made him look up. "Torao I-"

"Don't dare tell me you understand!" Law shouted, with an anger nobody had seen before. He pushed Luffy away. "I lost Lami, I lost my parents, then I lost Flevance, then this illness was going to kill me but an idiot gave up his life for my cure but now I am sick with it again! I sent my crew to Zou so they wouldn't get hurt and now they're all gone too! Polar tang was my home for ten years! More than that! It's gone now too! I lost our promise too! I can't even use my abilities, I don't even know if they are still there! I have lost too much! You have just lost a brother what do you understand?!"

Law knew that last thing was a low blow but he was hurting so much, and he was so angry, he just wanted it all to end. He threw himself in the sea, willing to drown himself but Luffy didn't let even that happen. Law felt hopeless, he felt lost and broken and beaten and defeated, it was the first time since Cora-san's death that Law cried like that, open and painful.

Luffy's heart clenched and he felt himself tearing up at the broken wails that were leaving Law. He couldn't bear it. Mumbling meaningless apologies, Luffy wrapped Law in his coat, put his strawhat on Law's head and hugged him close, first time since Law came to the Sunny, all battered and hurt. Luffy wanted to make Law feel safe, he wanted to convey that even if all was lost, Law still had him but the older probably didn't want to hear that at the moment.

"We are nakama, Torao. I love you." Luffy kept whispering, rocking Law back and forth, trying his best to repeat the words enough times so they would settle in the older's head.

"We are nakama, Torao. I love you."

~