“B-Beomgyu… my grandson…”

“Grandma! Don’t worry, okay? I’m going to save you. Don’t speak for now, okay? I’m going to save you…” I said while sobbing.

The rescuer inside the ambulance gave my grandma oxygen then we rushed to the hospital. She was immediately taken care of some nurses and her doctor arrived to check her condition.

They closed to curtains and told me to wait for a moment outside. I can’t even sit down and I’m just crying the whole time. I’m still shaking the whole time even if the nurse already told me to calm down.

“Please save her… Please! I can’t lose my grandma, please Nurse Han.” I begged while holding her hands.

“Beomgyu, don’t worry. Doctor Ahn will take care of everything, okay? Calm down now. I’m going to assist him.” She comforted me and gave me a quick hug before leaving me.

“Beomgyu hyung!”

“Taehyun!” I shouted his name and hugged him. “Grandma… I don’t know what will happen.” I cried.

“Don’t worry… Shhh, everything is fine. Stop crying.”

I think Taehyun already know what’s happening. He just keeps on tapping my back while giving me his warm hug.

This is exactly what I need right now. His presence is what I really needs the most during this time. I can really say that we’re against the world and the Deity himself.

“Sit down first and calm down.” He said and I did it. He lowered himself through kneeling in the floor so he can see me properly. He then held my hand, “Look at me Hyung. Grandma is going to be safe, okay? Trust me. Just trust me and don’t think of anything just believe me and yourself” he said while smiling at me then he brushed my tears.

“Yeah… Yes. She’s going to be safe.” I convinced myself.

“Okay good…” He smiled at me again and sat beside me.

After a couple of minutes Doctor Ahn came out from the ER while my grandma is sleeping in the bed that is pushing by the nurses.

“Let’s talk first, Mr. Choi Beomgyu…” That’s what he said and I nod at him.

We went to his office and I sat on the chair in front of his desk. He looks so serious that’s why it’s making me so nervous.

“I’m going to be really honest with you Beomgyu. Your grandma needs an immediate surgery within three days.”

“W-what did you say?”

I think I suddenly lost my sense of hearing after he said those words. 

What surgery is he talking about!?

“She needs an immediate surgery. But… Since we’re going to have a heart surgery, I can’t assure you the successfulness of the operation. If we will delay this, she might die before this week ends. We need to contact your parents now.”

Doctor Ahn discusses about the importance of the surgery but my mind is already occupied with the thought that my grandma might die.

As I open the door of grandma’s private room, Taehyun welcomed me. “Hey, are you okay? You’re so pale.” He commented.

I didn’t reply and just walk towards the bed. I held my grandma’s hand and bursts in crying.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry grandma. Please, please forgive me.”

I felt Taehyun’s hand patting my back. “Don’t cry hyung… Stop crying…” He said.

I looked at him, “She’s going to die if they won’t operate her within three days.” I said to him.

“Then you should allow it…”

“But her doctor can’t guarantee the success of it. What should I do, Taehyun? This is all my fault. This is all because of me.”

He pulled me closer to him, “Hyung… This is not your fault. Everything was already planned. We can’t do anything about this anymore.”

“That’s it! That freaking Deity is just playing our lives!” I shouted.

“Hyung, stop it.”

I pushed him a bit, “Why? Huh? Am I wrong? This is not what I wished for! This is not what I want Taehyun. This is not what I imagined about! He… He’s just toying me…” I cried so hard.

He hugged me again and I cried harder while burying my face on his chest. “I hate him so much… I hate him so much…” I muttered still crying.

Nurse Han decided to call my mom but since she’s in Daegu Town and it’s already nearly midnight there aren’t bus where she can ride. So, Nurse Han said, my mom will come here tomorrow early morning.

“Beomgyu hyung, you should rest now…” Taehyun said and sat beside me on the other mono block chair.

“What I’m going to do now, Taehyun? Everything is a mess.” I said and took a deep sigh.

He gently pulled my head and made it lean on his shoulder. “Stop saying those hyung and this isn’t just because of you. We are together in here, right? We’re going to fight together.” He said in his calm and sweet voice.

“H-how are we going to fight this? I was really confident before but…” I pulled my gaze to him and moved it to grandma. “But seeing her in that state without any sense of assurance makes me… Makes me feel so weak. All of these are making me feel so useless.” I replied with my melancholic voice.

“You’re not. You are not useless, okay? In times like this, what your grandma needs is the enthusiastic, brat, loud and the strong grandson she only has. She needs the positive you, hyung. She needs you a lot so please. Don’t give up…”

Through Taehyun’s comfort made my tears fully escaped from my eyes. I can feel that I’m really weak and wasted right now but I’m really thankful for having Taehyun right now by my side.

I’m really in love with this man and how he cares for me.

“Taehyun… Thank you so much.”

He held my hands and gave me his most comforting smile, “We’ll get through this.”

We are on that moment when some of the machines inside the room started producing different sounds. “W-what’s happening?” I asked and ran towards the bed.

“Grandma… Grandma…” I woke her up. “Taehyun! Call doctor Ahn please!” I shouted at him and he immediately went outside.

I held her hand so tight, “Grandma… Don’t do this please. Wake up already please… I’m begging you…” I cried as I talked to her.

“Beomgyu, excuse us please.” Doctor Ahn finally arrived together with the others so Taehyun gently dragged me away from grandma.

“Taehyun… W-what’s this? No… Taehyun…” I cried at him and he’s just hugging me.

My eyes suddenly widen when I heard a familiar sound. It’s the most devastating sound I ever heard. I really hate this sound since the first time I heard it.

It’s the flatline.

“NO! NO! PLEASE SAVE HER! PLEASE SAVE HER!” I started throwing tantrums inside the room.

“Mr. Beomgyu, please wait outside…” A nurse said and Taehyun pulled me out of the room then closed it.

“No please… Please. Save her, please.” I cried while looking at the small window.

I saw how Doctor Ahn revived my grandma and I’m shaking in fear in here. I felt Taehyun’s hand on mine to make me feel at ease.

“No… Grandma, wake up please…” I whispered.

I don’t know what to think right now. I just want my grandma alive.

I finally breathe properly after I saw the heart rate of my grandma came back. Taehyun supported me as I can feel my knees weakened.

“Grandma…”

The door opened and Doctor Ahn spoke, “We need to operate her inside 24 hours now. We’re going to wait for your mom until her sign the waver, so we can proceed. But for now, your grandma will stay at the ICU.”

I held hid hand, “She’s going to survive the operation… right?” I asked him.

“Beomgyu, we’re going to perform a Coronary Artery Bypass Graft (CABG) surgery. I already told you about this. The mortality rate is only 3-4% but we can’t still assure what’s going to happen inside the operating room.” He explained.

“B-but you can save her, right?”

“I’m a doctor, I’m not a God. But don’t worry, I’ll do everything that I can.” He said and smiled to me. “We’re going to move your grandma now.” That’s the last thing he said and I saw how they pushed grandma’s bed away from us.

“Hyung… The only thing we can do now is to trust Doctor Ahn.” Taehyun said.

I nods, “Yeah… I’ll just go to the bathroom.” I said.

He smiled at me, “Okay…”

I started walking like a lifeless creature until I reached the bathroom. As I opened the door I’m at the top of a building already and the wind is blowing so cold.

I think this is the hospital’s rooftop. I looked around and I saw someone not really close to where I am. He’s wearing pure white as what I always see how Taehyun wore his clothes.

A thought suddenly crossed my mind, “Are you—“

“How are you, Beomgyu?”

He’s far but I his voice filled my whole mind. I’m facing his back and he’s sitting in the rooftop’s railings.

“HEY! WHAT THE—“ I stopped walking when I can’t suddenly move myself. “YOU! HOW THE HECK CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME HUH!!? I shouted with all my the energy that left to me.

“You wished for this tho…”

I scoff in disapproval, “Wish? The fuck! All of these are opposite from I wished! Are you happy? Are you happy that I’m suffering, huh!?”

“You will realize soon why I’m doing these things, Beomgyu.”

“Screw you! Because a dummy like me will never understand how you make people’s life complicated! I thought you’re guiding us? But what the actual fuck is this!?”

“You want your grandma to live until she sees you as a successful person, right?” He suddenly asked instead of rebutting all my rants to him.

“W-why? What are you going to do to her!?” I yelled.

I clenched my fists because of the thought that he can kill my grandma any seconds from now.

“Do you really love Kang Taehyun?”

That question made my fists to loosen. “Why? Why are you asking me that now?” I asked him.

“I really love Taehyun. He’s so kind and smart, pure of talents but some things aren’t really made for him.”

“What nonsense are you talking about?” I frown.

“If I’m going to let you choose between your grandma and Taehyun, who are you going to save?”

I gasp after hearing it from him. “S-stop making me choose. Give me a choice that I can make them both alive.” I demand.

“I can’t do that… I never did this before, Beomgyu. My 100th year will be over soon and this is the only thing I think to make your wish granted.” He said still in his calm tone.

“HOW CAN THIS BE LOVE, DEITY!? SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE! STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!”

“You need to choose, Beomgyu. Is it going to be your grandma or Kang Taehyun.”

“I’m done choosing between Taehyun and Soobin hyung…” My tears fell, “Now, you’re going to make me choose between my grandma and the one I love? H-how… How could you do this to me?” I asked while crying.

“Because this is where your fate leads to. This is where all the choices you made leads you. And I can’t do anything about it already.”

“Please… Please help me… Help me please…” I begged and suddenly fell on the ground.

“I can’t fix any of this.”

“What should I do? What I’m going to do now?” I cried.

“Go, use your last wish. Save your grandma. Trust me you’re not going to regret doing it.” He said.

“Bu—“ I haven’t finished what I’m about to say when I found myself inside the bathroom.

I went out and walked while crying then I saw Taehyun waiting for me.

“Hyung! Are you okay?” He asked me worriedly.

“Taehyun, I’m going to use my third wish,”

“R-right now? Are you sure?”

I don’t know. I don’t know how stupid I am that despite of claiming and ranting how I hate the Deity I’m still going to do what he wants me to do.

I already had the hunch that this is going to be really painful but I trust what the Deity told me. It feels like I’m going to sacrifice someone so I can make my grandma alive.

Is this love?

If this is love then I’m really afraid of loving anymore. I really hate this already but I want to end what I started.

All I want is my grandma’s life and her happiness.

“Hyung? What’s your going to wish?” Taehyun asked me.

I inhaled to gather my courage before speaking. I’m not going to regret any of these shits.

“I wish that my grandma’s operation will be successful and she will live healthy and happy till the very end.”

“Are you sure about this?”

That made me silent and made my eyes closed. My tears continued to flow down through my cheeks.

“Y-yeah, I am sure about it.”

He smiled at me. The smiles of assurance that I really love seeing in his face. Those smiles that I want to fight for even if I still don’t know what fight I’m going in. The smiles of my love, Kang Taehyun that I don’t want to lose.

“Your wish has been granted.”

“Thank you, Taehyun.”

Then the last old and glowing brown paper appeared on his hand and gave it to me. My hands are shaking as I reached those from him and slowly opened it.

Is this really my fate? Is this really the result of everything I done since day one?

I looked at Taehyun and hugged him while smiling. I hugged him so tight that I will never let go of him.

“I love you so much Taehyun.”