[D-30]

“Hyung, do you want to go somewhere?”

“Somewhere?”  Soobin hyung asked me while we’re both walking home.

“Yeah… We should go to somewhere really nice today.” I said while smiling at him.

“Mmm… What I’m thinking isn’t a special place but we can go there. You have your bike, right?” He asked me while smiling.

“Yeah, hahahaha. Let’s go, hyung.”

He led me while he’s riding his bike and I’m at the back. I know now where we are going and I don’t know the reason why we’re going there.

We parked our bicycles and started walking. We are at one of the parks here in Hangang Park.

“Are you okay?” I was shocked when he asked me that.

“Yeah,  why?” I asked him while we’re both staring at the sunset that can still be seen even though there are a lot of buildings are surrounding us.

“Hyung, if we haven’t dated I wonder what are we doing?” I asked him.

“I’m not sure hahahaha. If it’s really fate that brought us together then maybe we will really date each other no matter what.” He answered me.

“Fate… How cruel fate is…”

“Is it cruel because we ended up dating each other?” He asked me while looking into my eyes.

I shook my head while smiling at him, “Nope hahahaha. It’s really cruel because some people need to accept their fates even if it’s really painful.” I said.

“You’re right…” He looked ahead again, “Isn’t this painful to you?” He asked me.

“The what?”

“Being fated to be with me…” He replied while looking down and said those in a sad voice.

“What do you mean by that, hyung?” I asked him worriedly.

He looked at me, “Are you tired? Are you tired of me already?”

“No! Stop talking nonsense, please. Hyung, I’m not—“

I felt his warm hug. It’s comforting but I can’t stay with this hug forever. I’m so sorry hyung. I’m really sorry for everything.

“I know it’s a bit hard already but don’t ever end what’s with us.”

“W-what end are you talking about? Hyung, stop saying those… We will never end…” I replied.

He held both of my shoulders, “Promise me that it’s still me, okay?”

He showed his pinky to me. “I promise hyung…” Then I crossed my pinky to his.

Soobin hyung pulled me again to hug me then I saw Yeonjun hyung standing not that far to us while eating lollipop. He’s just staring at me with a straight face and sharp eyes.

“Hyung, don’t worry… I love you so much.” I said while looking at Yeonjun hyung’s eye intently.

I saw him smirk before he disappeared like a thin air.

“I love you too, Beomgyu. Please open to me everything. You can talk to me with anything, okay?”

I hope I can really talk to you about everything, Hyung. I really want to settle things already but I can’t.

I smiled at him, “Yeah…”

“This weekend, do you want to go to Namsan Tower?” He asked me while smiling and holding both of my hands.

“Sure, I would really love to, hahahahah.” I answered and chuckled.

After those we both went home. “Grandma, I’m home!” I shouted after opening the door and wearing the inside slippers.

“Hello, hyung!”

“Oh? You’re here? Why are you here?” I asked Taehyun while taking off my coat.

“I just passed by hahaha.” He laughed.

“Ohh… Where’s grandma?” I asked him.

“She went outside to buy something…”

I nodded, “Ahh… I’ll change first.” I said and went to grandma’s room to change my clothes.

After that I went outside and Taehyun is still sitting at the couch. “How was your day?” He asked me.

“I made a promise to Soobin hyung…”

“What is it?”

“I’m going to love him till the end.”

I saw him smile and nod, “That’s what you should really do because that’s what you wished for.” He said.

“Yeonjun hyung said, we are all fated to meet each other that is why I can’t escape my fate. You think he’s right?” I asked him still standing and looking at him.

He nods, “You’re fate is also my fate.” He replied.

“What do you mean—“ I wasn’t able to finish what I’m saying we he stood up so suddenly and looking so anxious. “Why?”

“Your grandma!” Then he went outside while running so fast.

The next thing I knew is I’m also running then I saw Taehyun carrying grandma on his back. I saw how grandma’s face is in pain and her hand is on her chest. I guided them nervously until they reached the house.

Grandma is clenching her hand on her chest. “Taehyun, g-get her water.” I ordered to him and I went inside grandma’s room to get her medicine.

I really want to be calm as much as possible or I’ll mess up. “Grandma, breathe in and out, okay?” I said and she did it also, “Now d-drink this…” Then I lend her the pill and she drinks it while I’m holding her hand.

“I-I’m fine…” She said after drinking it.

“No, you aren’t. We’re going to the hospital.” I said calmly but my whole system is about to crush already.

“Beomgyu… I’m just tired, okay? I’m going to sleep now…” She said while trying to stand up so Taehyun and I helped her.

I know she’s not going to listen to me so, I did what she wants. I let her sleep and rest then leave her for a while.

After I closed the door, I felt my knees weaken then Taehyun catch me. I started crying silently in the floor. Taehyun hugged me and I grabbed on his clothes.

I felt his gentle taps on my back “Don’t worry….” I heard him whispered.

“What if something bad happens to her?” I asked him while sobbing.

“No… Don’t think about that. Stop crying now, hyung. Nothing bad will happen to grandma. She’s strong so you should also.” He comforted me.

I nodded, “Yeah… Because I don’t really know what to do anymore.” I cried.

He pushed my head on his chest so he can hug me tighter, “Hyung, trust me. Everything is going to be fine. Don’t worry.”

I looked at him, “Taehyun, what do you think will happen if I’ll completely fall out of love to Soobin hyung? Huh? T-tell me, please. Please…” I cried.

He shook his head, “Don’t think about it for now—“

I cut him off, “How? I can’t stop thinking about it anymore. It’s my grandma’s life who’s in the line. What I’m going to do?” I asked him while crying.

He held my hand and my cheek, “Hyung, look at me. Look at me. Your grandma’s life might be in the line right now, everything may be in a total chaos right now but remember that you still have your last wish and we still have a month left. I’m here, I’m always here for you. We will fight every odd, we will survive everything. Right?”

I slowly nod my head and hugged him so tight, “Thank you so much Taehyun… “

“It’s alright… Everything is going to be fine.”

The next morning I stopped my grandma from working. I want her to stay at home and I won’t let her exhaust herself. She insisted that she’s okay but I still didn’t let her.

“Soobin hyung…”

“Yeah? Why?”

“I can’t go with you this weekend…” I said looking at him.

“Oh… Why?”

“I need to be with grandma that day for her checkup. I’m sorry…” I said and bowed at him.

“Really? Why what happened to her? Is she okay?” He asked worriedly.

I nodded, “She’s okay right now but her chest might hurt again so, I need to send her to the hospital.” I said.

“Okay… I hope she’ll recover very quickly! Don’t worry about our plans… But Beomgyu...”

“Yeah, why hyung?” I asked him and stopped from walking.

“Smile… I know it is kind a really sad but just… smile. I missed how you smile so beautifully to me.”

I chuckled, “I’m sorry… It is just that things are so hard for me these days… I’m kind of tired about it.” I replied with a low voice.

“Tired of what?"

I looked above and saw all the orange leaves in this pathway, “Just… Some things…” I look back at him, “Don’t worry hahahahha.” I laughed a little.

“Just tell me if… you’re really hurt already…”

That’s what he said and walked. He left me behind without any words. I sighed then stopped myself from crying.

“Are you okay?”

I looked behind me and saw Huening smiling at me, “I don’t know…”

“Soobin hyung, is not okay…” He said keeping his smiles but it’s sad one.

“I know… Because of me, right?”

“I don’t know… I’m not really sure about it, hyung.” He said. “Do you still love him?”

“Yeah… Of course.” I replied.

“Are you sure? Or you’re just saying that because you still don’t want to admit it?”

“Admit what?”

“That you’re slowly falling out of love.”

It made me stop. How can he read the situation so fast? How come this kid can make me think a lot of times? How can he do this to me?

“Huening, I’m not. I love your hyung so much.” I said.

He smiled at me, “Hahahaha I thought you are really going to admit that you love someone else already hahahah. But hyung, please make your relationship better again. I don’t really like seeing Soobin hyung losing his taste to everything.”

“He is?”

Soobin hyung’s losing interest to what he likes because of me? Soobin hyung became really cheerful and jolly because of me. He might go back to being introvert again. I can’t let that happen!

“Sadly, yes. Ahh, I also remembered that you wished to the Deity right? How about trying to wish again that Soobin hyung and you will be back to normal like before?” He suggested.

I sighed, “Forget about it… He can’t hear me anymore…” I said.

“Why? He might be really listening to you right now?”

“I don’t care anymore…” I smiled for a second, “Everything has been planned already. I can’t do anything about it… I need to go home now, Huening. See you!”

“So you’re just going to accept everything?”

I paused from walking but didn’t look back at him. My feelings are really in chaos right now and I can think of anything.

Soobin hyung and grandma will end up being hurt because of me. I only wished for love but I gained a lot of pain. I just want to learn how it works but everything seems so opposite.

“If the Deity can hear me right now, then I want him to know that I’m going to fight until the end, even if I risked my life.”