before i start this chapter, i just wanted to give a quick shoutout to wendigos for creating the ship name squinn and making me laugh a shit ton last night

also, i want to thank everyone who's been supporting me and this story recently. you guys don't know how much i appreciate it. i love you tons. ok continue.

TEN ; GATSBY.

There was a haunting feeling that hung above the Behavioral Analysis Unit's floor.

It's as if it has finally hit all of the members. How deranged Joseph Lawrence is, what Quinn had been forced into. There were hardly any words spoken after his outburst, his song stuck in the back of the team's mind. There is no shaking the uneasiness they feel. It is hard to imagine how Quinn Carson is feeling.

They placed the girl in a waiting room Aaron Hotchner had closed off. She was left with Alex Blake to cope and talk through things. Spencer Reid refused to leave the room, claiming he wanted to listen in on the conversation.

Jennifer Jareau knew that it was so much more.

Perhaps that's why Hotch pulled JJ to the side. He knew she saw his true reasoning. With his arms crossed over his chest he asked, "Why do you keep watching Reid so carefully?"

A sigh escaped her lips. "He likes Quinn," she explained, shrugging her shoulders slightly. "He's made some suggestions for how she should end up."

"Like what?"

"Her joining the team, which is crazy," she laughed, the laugh slowly dying out as she saw Hotch's expression remain stoic. "It is crazy, right?" The leader did not speak, having realized he's had the same thoughts. "I mean, she's really talented at what she does, but is she cut out for this kind of stuff? Is she going to be okay when we rush her into the mind of a serial killer again?"

Hotch shrugged, observing JJ carefully. "She's been extensively trained. We interviewed Nelson who went over his training techniques and as insane as they are, they give impressive results," he replied. "I believe she's stronger than she looks." His eyes flashed to the lobby beyond his office. "The more I talk about this, the more crazy it does sound," he admitted, a hint of smile flashing across his face. "But crazy could ultimately work."

"But a past criminal working for us? I don't mean to sound awful here, but-"

"Garcia has a criminal background," Hotch reminded her. "She was a convict at one time. But she was the best I'd ever seen at hacking, and Carson's the best I've ever seen at catching lies." It was almost as if Hotch was formulating this in his head as he talked to JJ. "And if we're being honest, we could use someone like her. Our team needs someone like her."

JJ nodded, evaluating the points he brought up. He was right about everything he said, but in a way, JJ felt like she was the only voice of reason in the building. She believed Quinn was great at what she did and she liked her, but how would it look for the government if they had a rumored murderer working with them?

"You really think it could work?" she asked.

With a curt nod, Hotch agreed. "I do." His eyes fell upon Penelope Garcia exiting her office. "It worked years ago, I don't see why I can't work now."

Meanwhile, in the waiting room, Alex Blake sat next to a stunned Quinn Carson. They had sent the older woman to help bring Quinn out of the place in her mind she had become stuck in. She had tried so many different tactics, only to get little reaction out of the girl each time.

Quinn hadn't blocked out Blake's words. She admired her persistence, actually. But, the impact of the situation was too much for Quinn to process all at once.

Blake compared it to a computer freezing. There was too much information that the computer had to think through, causing it to momentarily freeze. They just needed to turn Quinn off and then back on. They needed to calm her down and help her realize that she was safe.

"Hey, Quinn?" The agent's voice was soft and calm. The girl did not look her way, still frozen and staring straight forward. "Quinn, I want you to look at me. Can you do that for me?" The girl stayed paralyzed.

Blake glanced at Reid who stood in the doorway. She motioned for him to come to her, Spencer warily obliging. He furrowed his brow as she asked, "What?"

"See if she responds to your voice," Blake suggested. The genius widened his eyes at the suggestion, cocking his head in confusion. "She's opened up to you the most. There's some sort of connection there. I think she trusts you," she told him.

Reid felt his cheeks burn slightly at her words, but did not object. Nodding at Blake, he took a deep breath and crouched down in front of Quinn, keeping a good enough distance away from her so that she didn't feel overwhelmed. Triggering a panic attack was not his motive.

"H-Hey, uh, Quinn?" Although she perked up so little that it was hardly noticeable, Spencer saw it. A small smile came to his lips. "Quinn, I want you to focus on my voice, okay? Can you do that for me?" The girl hesitated, but slowly began to nod her head. The doctor's smile grew. "Okay, good, thank you." He glanced up at Blake who smiled back at him encouragingly. "I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to do your best to answer me, okay?" The slow nod returned. "Good. Quinn, can you tell me what your favorite color is?"

It was an odd question for the situation the two were in, but that was Spencer's goal; to distract her from her thoughts. Quinn's eyes narrowed ever so slightly in confusion, but squeaked out an answer nonetheless. "G-Green," she replied, voice hardly higher than a whisper. Spencer's smile turned bigger as he heard Quinn reply. Blake breathed a sigh of relief, shaking her head.

"Can you tell me why?"

Her words came out choppy and timid. "Safe," she answered. One word answers were all the team members were able to get. "Gatsby."

"The Great Gatsby?" Blake inquired quietly.

"There's a green light that Jay Gatsby refers to in the book-"

Blake cut Spencer off. "Yes, I read it," she said. "But is it her favorite color because of the book?"

"Yes," came Quinn's tiny reply. "Favorite book."

It was unnerving to see someone as brilliant as Quinn Carson become so consumed with fear that she had to resort to toddler-like sentences. "The green light? Is that why you like green?" he asked.

Quinn nodded. "I-It symbolizes Jay's hopes." Her sentences were getting longer, as she was able to focus on another topic. "Dreams for the future." The girl's eyes finally met Spencer's. "It helped me believe in a more hopeful, brighter future when I was with the Horsemen. It's a safe color, it represents safety and life."

She was back. Quinn's mind was functioning. Although she was still terrified, she was able to move once more. "Are you alright?" Spencer questioned.

"Better," Quinn replied. She felt tears prick her eyes once more as she glanced between Blake and Reid. "I'm so afraid," she murmured.

"You're safe, Quinn," Blake reassured. The girl nodded absentmindedly. "They can't hurt you anymore. Lawrence was bluffing."

"What if he wasn't, though?"

Spencer shook his head. "We're going to protect you for a while," he said defiantly, as if there were no room for anyone to argue with him. "That was the promise, wasn't it?" Quinn almost smiled. There was no denying she enjoyed the amount of promises the man made to her. It gave her something to hold on to, something to believe in.

"Quinn, I want you to listen to me for a bit, okay?" Blake told her, catching her attention as she sat down next to Quinn. "What you're feeling right now, that fear that something's going to happen? Is it familiar?" She nodded slowly. Unfortunately, it was one of the only things she felt around The Horsemen. Whether it was a training session, a crime, an interrogation, or a punishment, she felt as though something bad was going to happen. The punishments scared her most, however. The last time she was 'punished', she lost all hearing in her left ear. "That feeling, that's called trepidation. It's a dangerous emotion to feel. You start to become paranoid all the time, you begin to worry and see things," Blake continued. "I don't want you to feel like that, Quinn. I don't want you to experience that anymore." Quinn was shocked at Alex Blake's sudden kind words, but she did not say anything about them. "I, we, all of us, want you to know that you're going to be okay. There's going to be a plan to keep you out of jail and innocent in the eyes of the public. You have to trust us, however. Can you do that?"

Her fingernails met the already raw skin on her wrists and she moved them up and now. Nervous. She was extremely nervous. "Yes, I-I think I can." Her reply was soft and shaky. Blake's eyes gained a bit of sympathy.

"Good," Blake said.

As the agent continued to talk to Quinn, Spencer was called over by Morgan who had arrived at the room a minute ago. With one last look at the girl on the couch, he neared Morgan cautiously. "How's the kid doing?" Derek asked.

"She's shaken up," Reid replied softly, shaking his head as he spoke. "Lawrence and his men are sick. A couple of minutes ago, she was almost paralyzed from the fear they established in her." Disgust was evident in his voice. "She didn't deserve that life."

"She did not," Morgan agreed, eyes flicking over to meet Quinn's. He gave her a small, friendly smile to which Quinn reciprocated. "How do you think she's going to hold up?"

Spencer sighed before answering. "PTSD should be expected. Things like loud noises or screams may trigger some memories. Her dreams will be plagued. Quinn's going to suffer a bit," he said pitifully.

"Poor kid," Morgan muttered. "She'll have to stay back on cases, I guess."

Spencer's eyes widened, staring at Morgan incredulously. "What did you just say?"

A small chuckle escaped Derek's lips. "I overheard Hotch talking to JJ. Boss-Man likes Quinn and wants her on the team. Just to use her skills during interrogations and help out when necessary." The man shrugged. "I think it's a smart move. Hotch hasn't liked many of the replacement options so far. Maybe she could help us out."

Reid's lips unconsciously moved upward at his friend's words. Quinn on their team. Although he had thought it many times, it still make him smile.

Morgan's gaze fell on Quinn and Blake once more. The girl was opening up to the older woman, her posture less stiff than he had seen previously. She seemed more relaxed, her mind now mostly focused on something other than Lawrence's song. Progress. The pieces were slowly being brought back together.

The two men were interrupted by Aaron Hotchner nearing them. "Round table, now. Get Garcia too," he ordered, eyes flicking to Quinn. The leader leaned into the room, nodding at Blake. "Doctor Blake, would you stay with Carson for a couple of minutes?"

The woman returned the nod with a small smile. "It would be my pleasure," she replied, making a ghost of a grin grace Quinn's lips.

"Thank you," Hotch said, looking back to Morgan and Reid. "We've got some things to discuss."

-----

Quinn Carson decided that she quite liked Alex Blake. The two discussed books, movies and their favorite things. She found out that she had a Ph.D, was leaving the team to teach criminal justice, and could solve a crossword puzzle in an alarmingly quick time. Quinn was able to tell she would miss the team when she left, but was aware that Alex knew that this was the right option for her. When Spencer came up in the conversation, she was able to tell that Blake thought of him as a son.

Quinn smiled as Blake began to talk about her teaching, how much she adored it and how much she was looking forward to returning. The girl tried to distract herself to the best of her ability, and frankly, Blake was helping a lot. Lawrence's words had terrified her more than anything he'd ever said, but taking her mind off of them was crucial. She was safe. She would be okay. Lawrence couldn't communicate with any of of his sources from inside of the federal prison.

Penelope Garcia interrupted the spiel of Blake. "Hi, hi, I'm so sorry to interrupt, but I need to take Quinn somewhere," she said quickly, adding a small grin to the end of her sentence. Quinn froze, bracing for the worst. Alex patted her on the back encouragingly and nodded at her. "It's nothing bad, I swear," Penelope added.

"O-Okay," Quinn stammered, standing up and wiping her hands against her pants. Blake followed in suit, walking behind Quinn as she and Penelope began moving side by side.

"I just, uh, wanted to thank you for helping find the others," Garcia told her.

Quinn smiled at her, shrugging slightly. "I was happy to help," she replied. "A little terrified, but happy to help."

The three went up a flight of stairs, turning a corner afterward. "Yeah, I'm uh-" She paused, grimacing. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Blake inhaled sharply, hoping that Garcia's phrase wouldn't trigger memories. Luckily for the group, Quinn didn't seem to react. She nodded and answered, "I'm just glad it's over," she whispered.

Garcia's eyes widened, turning in front of Quinn and waving her hands rapidly. "Oh no, no, no," she panicked. "I-I didn't mean to bring them up again, I-I'm so sorry, I-"

"No, Penelope, it's okay," Quinn stated, chuckling slightly at her rambling. "You didn't do anything wrong." Garcia visibly calmed, nodding her head.

"Oh, okay. Good. Good news," she continued, making Quinn laugh a bit more. The three women approached a red room with a round table in the middle of it. The BAU team stood scattered around the room, each of their eyes falling on her.

"Carson, have a seat," Hotch said, motioning to a chair in front of the large television. Quinn nodded, pulling out the rolling chair and sitting down. She intertwined her hands together, placing them in her lap. "We would like to offer you a proposition."

Quinn's brow furrowed. "A proposition?"

"I'm going to give you two options, and you're going to choose which one appeals to you most, okay?" Though his tone was kind, his words sounded daunting. Quinn was hesitant to nod. "The first option is for you to be put on trial. We'll let a jury decide what's to happen to you, and if things go in your favor, which they most likely will, you'll be let off."

Oh, wow. Quinn nodded slowly. "A-and the second option?"

Hotch's lips quirked upward. "You join our team," he said simply.

Quinn's eyes widened, looking almost bewildered. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Spencer grin at her reaction. "What?"

"We have a plan," Rossi explained. "We need a replacement for Blake. But, because you don't exactly have all of the correct qualifications, we're still going to look for a field agent."

"You're going to work with us, help us in interrogations," Hotch continued. "You're one of the best this department has ever seen, and we want you to join our team as an eighth member." Quinn sat frozen, unable to believe what she was hearing. "We'll clear your name, the government will give you housing and you'll have a job."

"I think it's pretty clear what the choice should be," Blake whispered behind her. Penelope stifled a laugh, covering her mouth with her hand.

Quinn's mind was spinning. They were offering her a job. The people that her team had spent years working against were asking her to join them. It was undeniably odd, but Quinn couldn't help but feel honored. "W-Why are you doing this for me?"

"Because you're innocent," Spencer blurted. Quinn focused her gaze on the genius. He flushed at the sudden attention, a smile gracing Quinn's lips. "Because we believe in you."

Morgan raised an eyebrow. "What the doctor said."

Quinn closed her eyes and shook her head. "Thank you," she whispered, smiling to herself. "N-No one's shown me this amount of kindness in seven years." A fraction of everyone's heart broke. Hotch glanced to Spencer, who nodded at him.

"So, do we have a decision?" he asked.

Quinn gave the team a smile. A teary-eyed, disbelieving smile, something only one of the team members had seen before. "I-I choose the second option," she breathed, laughing after her words.

Hotch smiled back at her, sticking his right hand out before him for a handshake. "Well, Quinn Carson, welcome to the team."

-----

I AM UNABLE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR THE AMOUNT OF RECENT FEEDBACK AND VOTES ON THIS STORY IT IS FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE I LOVE YOU ALL WAY TOO MUCH GOD I LOVE YOU

anyway, i'd make a long note but i'm crazy tired and helpless and i just listened to the entire hamilton soundtrack all the way through for the 10th time while writing this and now i miss the show fuck fuck fuck

ok goodbye

love you all tons.
-mags