28th of May 1972.

Crap.

Today was full moon. He had almost forgotten. Hastily and stealthily Remus made his way to the door. He would have slipped out unnoticed had Sirius not been watching him from over his Astronomy homework.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

The other two boys turned to them and once again Remus found himself frozen in panic. What should he say to them?

"We don't buy what you tell us everytime." said James. "I mean who goes out in the afternon to the library and doesn't return until morning?"

Remus was still. Every muscle taut and unmoving. He could feel a cool trickle spread under his skin. He was paling.

"We're pals." said Peter. "That means you can tell us anything right?"

"My...I...you see my mum's ill." he finally said. "Her illness comes up once in a while. Dad sometimes has to work at night so I have to look after her."

"Oh..." Sirius remembered the vibrant young woman at the Potter's Christmas dinner. She'd knitted them all handmade sweaters and scarves and he loved them to bits. He hoped nothing happened to her. "Why didn't you say so before?"

Remus looked embarrassed and angry. 

"I gotta go." he said hurriedly. James could feel the irritation beneath the words.

"Tell her we say hi..." he said. "And that we hope she gets better."

"Sure." said Remus. "See ya!"

With that Remus left burning with shame. He hated lying to his friends like that. Once again he wondered what would be the consequences if he told them that he was in fact a monster.

He hurried down to McGonagall's office.

~~~

Sirius and James huddled together under the invisibility cloak as they watched Lucius Malfoy take his round of Prefect Duty. It was the first time they agreed they should risk following him . He was looking around suspiciously, furtively.

"He's definitely up to something." whispered James to Sirius.

Sirius nodded and together they moved after Lucius. Wands raised under the cloak ready to strike if need be.

Suddenly Sirius stepped on James's foot.

"Ow!" he cried in pain.

Lucius whipped around wand ready.

"Who's there?"

James and Sirius held their breath. Luckily they were still under the cloak. Lucius shrugged putting his wand back in his robes before walking ahead. James and Sirius followed after him.

Lucius looked back again before turning a corner. The two boys followed swiftly. Lucious seemed nervous as he touched the ends of his pale blond hair. None th eless he puffed up his chest. Whatever he was doing it looked very illegal and very dangerous.

Lucius turned another corner and headed towards and empty Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.

Curious. Thought James. As they followed.

He's probably waiting for Lord Voldemort. Thought Sirius, dreading to see the lords they all talked about, that was rumoured of in every newspaper. But there was also an anger. He will kill him for scaring his brother. He could still feel his brother crying in his arms at night.

James shivered as the same realisation hit him. He didn't want to come face-to-face with him. Not yet anyone.

The door creaked open and to their surprise. In walked Sirius's cousin Narcissa Black. She was beautiful with pale blond hair and blue eyes. Could it be that she was also one of these Death Eaters if so they need to know what they were discussing.

Her full sensuous lips stretched into a smile.

"You got my message then?" asked Lucius.

"Clearly!" huffed Narcissa as she discarded her cloak sitting herself up on a table.

Lucius approached her his expression darkening. The girl didn't flinch, not even as he placed a hand on her bare neck. Stroking it as he leaned in for a kiss.

James almost gagged he turned to Sirius who wore the same horrified panicky expression. This was perhaps worse than facing the dark lord.

"Did you lock the door?" Lucius breathed heavily.

"No I'll do it."

James and Sirius barely managed to get out of the room. 

As soon as they did though the masked man walked past them before disapperating.

~~~

He had tasted this human's blood before. A long tme ago. But he didn't smell as much fear in this human. The human raised its wand.

"Crucio!" it cried.

All his senses were filled with pain. Excrutiating. It didn't bring the relief his claws did. But only more pain.

"Good little monster!" The human said maliciouslly. "You disgusting loathsome creature! I won't kill you this time! But you bettter not come back to this shack."

 Before pointing that stick at him again. This time he felt himself crumple in pain. Wishing for the darkness overcoming him as the man's laughter filled his ears. But it didn't.

Luckily the man soon left.

~~~

Remus's whole body ached. Worse than ever before. He cried out.

"Remus calm down. It's alright it's me Poppy."

"Every thing I...shit..." he started sobbing. He was glad neither of his parents were here. He was unable to conceal the pain.

"Don't move." she ordered.

She came back and a applied a cool salve to his body. It released him from the pain.

"What happened? There are no scars this time." she asked after he had eaten some chocolate. "The transformation must have been pretty bad."

He nodded. He couldn't tell her the truth. Well he could. But it was so much easier to let her believe what she wanted. The man's laughter filled his ears. 

Little monster

"Poppy am I a monster?"

"Oh Remus of course not..." she said stroking his hair. The question was inevitable. "You are the sweetest child I've ever met you could never be a monster."

He was silent.

"Do you want more chocolate?"

"Poppy..."

"Yes Remus?"

"You're the best." he said. He voice was slurring slightly he could feel the tiredness setting in again. "If I'm ever going to marry a girl I'd marry you."

I'm delirious. Though Remus.

The Matron laughed softly. She'd had her fair share of marraige proposals from her patients.

"I'll be a wrinkly and grey by the time your grow up. You wouldn't an old hag now would you?"

"I guess you'r right." he said his voice grave. Then he smiled brightly before saying. "You're still the only girl I know who doesn't think I'm a monster."

Her broke a bit more than she would like to admit.

"You'll find someone." she said. "That's a promise."

~~~

"Where is Remus?" asked Siriusas they made their way to lunch. He was itching to tell him about the new development in their their plans. "He's usually here by now."

"He probably got held up." said James.

"I sure hope his mum's alright." said Peter.

Sirius nodded picking at his food. Last night had left him disgusted but seeing that Lucius wasn't the death eater had shattered all their plans. No one else fit the description. Who on earth could it be then?

He finished off his food and sat their his gaze travelling to the door hoping that Remus would come soon. But he didn't. Not for a long time. It was only when they were getting ready for bed that Remus arrived.

"Remus where have you been?" demanded James.

"Dad took a little longer to come him." he explained.

"Is she alright? Your mum?" asked Peter.

Remus shrugged. "I guess."

"Whatever happens we are here for you." said Sirius.

"How did last night's watch go?" asked Remus.

James and Sirius shared a grimace before they sat down before they told Peter and Remus about how they managed to catch Lucius and Narcissa getting it on in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom.

Remus and Peter's faces were screwed in horror.

"Yuck!" 

"That's so gross!"

"No but listen." said Sirius. "As soon as we got out the masked man walked past us. So it couldn't possibly be Lucius."

"Did you manage to get a glimpse at the wand?"

"He disapperated before we got to." admitted James. "We tried to look for him but couldn't find him after that."

Remus nodded. He had rested well, wide awake he said:

"Well who wants to come with me to investigate tonight?" asked Remus.

"Aren't you tired?" asked James "You've been looking after your mum and..."

"Its okay really." said Remus. "My sleeping pattersn got messed up anway."

~~~

A/N: Happy New Year Guys! (New Years eve down here in Australia probably won't be able to update next month so I might not be able to say it later)