__________

Wade

"No. That sounds like a bad idea. He might flip out if he finds out we tried to do that. We already pissed him off last night." Deadpool muttered to himself as he walked through the park. He ignored the odd glances he received from a handful of people as they passed by. They didn't know he was having an important conversation with he, himself, and I and it could stay that way.

Admittedly, he didn't personally like to associate the boxes as a true part of himself, he wasn't entirely convinced they were, even if he was told they were just the results of the experimentation and his general luck. Blowing his brains out didn't help... for long. Or at least it was finally dawning on him that he should find some other way of dealing with his demons.

(Uhg. But I need to know. Think of all the little details I could include in our imagination if we knew.) White whined like a needy little child.

[You're not going to find those sorts of things out. And it's still a bad idea.] Yellow argued. He, was the brains in this matter and disapproved of the idea quite thoroughly. The boxes were distinct in personality most of the time, but there were days they blended into one nasty entity.

"Let's do it."

But at the end of the day all was done and said to appease himself anyways.

(Yes!)

[The stupidity within this plan is going to literally be our unpleasant end.]

"Lighten up a bit, Yellow," he scolded as stepped aside to avoid walking into someone. "You know, I kinda miss when you were actually a Yellow box. Brackets are so boring."

[We both know that there isn't a format for that. Otherwise, I would be a box. Yellow as a lemon.]

Wade stopped dead in his tracks, tilting his head tilting his head to the side curiously as a thought came to mind. "Wait, Wait. So okay, why do people even call them "lemons"? Why don't they just call them "smut" or less confusing words?" Wade understood the topic was a dramatic shift, but the boxes understood where he was going and where he was coming from. "You know, I know that right now I'm just an image in your head and words on your screen but answer my question if you have an answer. Cause I'm not connecting the dots between a citrus fruit and special physical activities" The Merc said looking at a blank space from which he could feel he was being watched, causing more people to stare and take wide berths around him.

[Riiiiight. Anyway. Back to why this is a bad idea...]

Wade took out his phone, ignoring the boxes altogether as they kept rambling on. He needed to get down to business. Gloved fingers typed on the screen of his phone, pink kitten case drawing more attention from a few passersby. He entered a few words in the Search bar of the ever so beloved Google search engine, and the magical link he was looking for appeared along with 2 million other results within the .67 seconds it took Google to think. He tapped on the one that looked right and waited for the Bugle web page to pop up before he glanced through the tabs to find information on a certain someone. Almost all Spider-man photos were taken by a Peter Parker. Or at least all the good photos where the Hero wasn't anything but a blur.

"Peter Parker. Peter Parker. Peter. Parker." Wade hummed as he scrolled through the web page. A few seconds of franticly gliding his gloved finger over the screen when it decided to freeze before he was able to tap on the highlighted blue text that redirected him toward "Our Artists and Journalists."

[Because upgrading to at least having grippy fingertips on the gloves wouldn't be within your interests right?] Yellow sighed.

"Nope." The Merc answered chirpily, making sure to pop the "P" at the end of the word. He had zero interest in sewing special fingertips onto his gloves. He wasn't stupid enough to start that infuriating project.

Yellow gave another exasperated sigh. He felt like the parent in this situation... the situation being the existence of Wade Winston Wilson, as truly concerning as that statement may be. Another reason for Wade to push the agenda that the boxes weren't truly a part of him maybe.

"Wow. That's impressive." Wade hummed as he gazed over the lousy excuse for informative information on Peter 'Pansley'. All that was on the page included the guy's name, business number, and the statement that he worked for the Daily Bugle as a Freelance photographer. Sadly enough this was his best if not only option to find out more about Spidey without using unreliable internet sources. Here he could possibly get one insight on Spidey personally. If anyone would know him even the slightest and was bribable, it would be Spidey's own personal little paparazzi boy. Wade wasn't sure how well this Peter Parker would know Spidey but it was worth a shot. Only an idiot wouldn't see the correlation between the quality and posed photos when compared to literally any other source in the world.

He copied down the phone number (because there was no fucking Email provided... (not that Wade would use that but still.) Email was just too old school) and added it to his contacts for later use before he started walking again, shoving his phone in a pocket or pouch (honestly he wasn't paying much attention. He was pretty sure he'd have shoved the thing down his pants if he didn't wear a belt.)

Deadpool walked a good half an hour before coming to the large building decorating the city with another light colored skyscraper. The man, completely ignored any and all of Yellow's bothersome attempts to rationale. In fact, he didn't even think twice before walking into the building. Upon entering the nicely decorated lobby he noticed the red-headed secretary at the front desk when he walked in. She glanced up at him quickly while she was still on the phone, giving his get up a once over before replying to the person on the other end.

He walked over looking around the large pretty area. It was just begging to be broken, dirtied, and generally destroyed. It was absolutly too nice for a place that shat on so many great people.

He came to a stop at the desk just as the woman hung up her phone. She offered him a small, polite smile though confusion and an evident distrust was apparent in her features.

"How can I help you?" She asked in a show of professionalism.

"I'm looking for Peter Parker. The Spider-Man picture taker." Wade replied, leaning on the desk as he smiled through the mask.

"Yes, the photographer." She corrected while already going to the computer at her desk.

"Sure. Whatever floats your boat." Wade responded in a sweet tone while tilting his head to the side with a smile. He truly didn't care what the profession was called. Besides she gave off a vibe that told him that correcting him gave her pleasure because she thought he was stupid when he was trying to simply entertain himself.

(Yeah, we're onto you bitch. We know what you're really thinkin.)

Besides, he could snap her neck any day of the week without breaking a sweat.

"He won't be here for another fifteen minutes. You can take a seat if you'd like to wait." She said, still with the fake smile that was becoming harder to withstand as the seconds passed by.

"Thank you," Wade responded sweetly, keeping up his own smile until she turned away. Letting it fall then like a bag full of bricks.

Secretaries.

The Merc pulled out his phone once he took a seat in one of the uncomfortable, fancy lobby chairs.

"Definitely, isn't a Stark quality establishment." He hummed as he tapped away on the device.

(His lobby is nice. Comfy couches. Big TVs, all high techy and stuff.)

[Avengers tower, now ]

(Not to mention the sweet penthouse.)

He brought up the contact he had recently entered and tapped the message button on the touch screen. It was a miracle that his gloves were working, but the secretary was staring too intently for him to feel safe slipping off his glove.

He typed up a message requesting a meeting to ask questions about the Arachnid. Also adding the fact that he would pay generously for any information this Peter could give him. He knew the number was supposed to be an "office number" but it felt stupid that a freelancer wouldn't have his own business or personal contact information attached to his profile for the sake of outside opportunities. Worst case scenario, his text was lost to the telephone lines. he pushed send and nodded happily before swiping the app close only to boot up his beloved Sims Freeplay, pausing only to send a streak snap to a special someone who needed a personal reminder that their just most favorite person in the whole wide world was still up and kicking....eternally. (@TheOne'sWho'sNameRhymesWithPolverine)

Anyways, the Freeplay game itself was an interesting pastime. He'd begun to notice he tended to track friendship statuses on the game with all of his sim versions of the real people.

[Noticed it after I pointed it out thank you very much.]

He had recently added Spidey to the game. He already had made the Spider dislike him to the first level because of the stopwatch incidents before interacting with the friendship button twice to count for the hug and their hangout yesterday before adding another small angry red interaction after Spidey snapped at him. The Arachnid's Sim was in a medium zone without a decision about what Wade was to him. Still only an acquaintance whose character had yet to be determined. Spidey had his own little house in the game. It was small because Wade couldn't really see the spider having a very extravagant home. Probably just a studio apartment... That and Wade didn't have much for simoleons so Spidey got what he got.

Wade sighed. The only other Hero Sim he knew (that was in a solid green zone) Captain America. But, then again, Cap. was nice to everyone including Wade. But the Merc was still happy that his childhood hero tolerated him. He wasn't so sure if he counted or not honestly. He was the only person on an okay tolerance level with him. Well actually there was Clint but that was different. They were gaming buddies, not best friends or anything but the archer still hung out with him as long as there was a reason. So actually that made two in the green zone, one in the translucent and then like fifty in varying shades of yellow and red.

Aside from tracking his friendship progress on the game, he also played a bit with shipping the characters. He had Tony Stark paired with Cap. Cause as terrible as they get along they made a cute pair. Plus he's pretty sure they are together actually, like maybe they just act like they do in public to keep the relationship hidden.

(I wonder who their soulmates are.)

[If for some reason you're actually accurate with this game we better get a reward for being psychic]

(Yeah but what about Bucky?)

The Merc paused to look up at the entrance when he heard someone's footsteps announce their presence. It was a young man who looked very much like someone who could be named Peter Parker. He stood up, figuring he could trade information as they passed. he wouldn't quite see the guys face yet though, he was staring down at his phone while talking towards the elevators.

When the young man looked up, presumably from nothing Wade's approach, the merc's heart dropped. The stars alinged and the dots connected, suddenly the photographer's relationship with Spider-man was stupidly clear.

(We're Fucked.)

[Big time.]

Special thanks to Patron Poiuytr23 for their pledge. Their support has brought to you this edited edition of Stopwatch. If you would like to see more of Stopwatch edited in the future, consider pledging $1 to my Patreon. Link in bio.

https://www.patreon.com/Narloch

(Originally published 2016, officially edited 2022)

Until next time

~ Shadow-Assassin

Original Note:

So tell me whatcha think. It going good so far? Yes, na? The beginning was kinda meh, but I got the job done my the end right?

what have you been doing lately guys? anything fun for the summer or quickly approaching new school year?

Edit: 06/22

I HAVE AN ANSWER TO THE LEMON QUESTION

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTd3jn2n7/?k=1