GOING CRAZY
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
❝THAT NIGHTMARISH DAY COMES TO MIND, I TELL MYSELF THAT IT WON'T BE LIKE THAT THIS TIME, YOU'RE FADING AWAY, DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.❞

♔ ♔ ♔

      She went back with a small smile on her face. The entrance of the hotel welcoming her like it was always her home. And for the past few weeks it has. She has gotten used to the friendly staff that would greet her as if she was family and the soft classical music that played in the elevators. Germany was beyond beautiful, it was an experience all wrapped up into one.

      Rosé hummed to herself as she slid her hotel card into its slot before waiting to see the light flicker to green. She didn't seem to notice how her lights were already turned on (when she clearly turned them off) or the sound of the TV playing in the background. But she didn't miss her best friend sitting on top of her bed.

      "Fun night?" Tom asked with a small smile as he changed the channel. Rosé jumped at the sight of him and almost fell back if it weren't for the wall behind her. She placed a hand over her chest, most likely to steady her racing heart. "Oh, Noah gave me your spare key if you're wondering."

      The short Asian girl rolled her eyes as she shimmied her jacket off. She threw it onto the foot of the bed before she walked to the bathroom, "Wow thanks, it's not like this is a total invasion of my privacy or anything. Thanks Tommy Boy."

      "Anytime Rosie Girl," Tom cheekily retorted as he got up from her bed. He leaned against the wall that separated the bedroom from the bathroom. He heard the water from the sink running and Rosé brushing her teeth. The sounds of her electric toothbrush loud and precise. "So, uh, how was your night out?"

      He waited patiently as Rosé came out with her pajamas on, her hair tied up, and her toothbrush in her mouth. White surrounded her mouth from the toothpaste and her face was stripped of its heavy makeup. She shrugged and said something inconceivable, but he knew what she said. It was fine.

      She disappeared into the bathroom to gargle once more, take her nightly inhaler hits, rinse her mouth once more, and then she came out. Her bottoms were those ridiculous pig patterned pants he had gotten her as a gag gift for her birthday. And her top was one of Noah's old shirts. Her dyed hair tied high up into a ponytail as she slapped toner onto her cheeks.

      "You know, there's almost no difference with makeup and without," he pointed out as she laid on the center of her bed with her arms and legs sticking out like a starfish. Tom sat on the side like he always did and watch her close her eyes.

      Silence enveloped them comfortably. The sound of the TV playing in the background was almost like music to their ears. Tom nudged her leg with his hand, "Scoot over." Rosé listened and moved to the left to give her friend room.

      Tom laid next to her and sighed in relief at the softness of the hotel mattress. He clasped his fingers together and laid his hands on his stomach as he stared up at the beige ceiling. He turned his head to the side and watched Rosé singing under her breath. He couldn't help but smile at the old song, "I like that song. Can you sing louder?"

      Without even protesting Rosé raised her voice just a bit so he could hear the words clearly. He's always loved her singing. He was always jealous during their school's talent shows where the Cha twins would perform together. Rosé with her guitar - that looked huge on her lap - and Noah by her side. Together the two would harmonize perfectly, their voices sounding like melted honey as they entranced the whole school.

      He hasn't heard her sing since before she moved. And he could tell that she has improved a lot. Her voice was now fully developed and her singing has always been unique. Not a bad thing, but rather a good thing.

      Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

      And I say, it's all right

      Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter

      Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

      Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

      And I say, it's all right

      Little darling, the smiles returning to their faces

      Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

      "You've always loved The Beatles," he mused in amusement. Rosé stared at him and cracked a grin, "Of course Tommy, after all, I was born in Britain. It'd be ashamed if they weren't my idols."

      "Don't know if I can consider you British. After all, you have a slight Aussie accent in your tone," he mocked before he flicked the tip of her nose. Rosé giggled at the action before she flicked him right back on the forehead. "Remember when you told me that you were going to have three kids and one dog. You were going to name your kids George, Paul, and Lennon, and get a small dog and name it Ringo."

      Rosé nodded her head slowly as she recalled the memories. She remembered Noah telling her how stupid he was going to seem for having three nephew and nieces named after The Beatles. "And I told you that you could be the godfather of Paul."

      "I remembered it specifically being Lennon."

      "Was it now?"

      "Mhm."

      This is what she loved the most about their friendship: their banter, moments like these, and their ability to forget about everything in the world, everything except for each other. Yes, this is, she thought to herself. This is the best friendship you've ever had. You are not going to mess this up. Suck it up, Roseanne, suck it up. You can't ruin this.

      Tom snapped her out of her thoughts with a question, "So, how was your dinner plans? You were with Seth, right?"

      Rosé nodded slowly, not sure as to why he was bringing up her dinner with her friend. "Yeah, it was good. Why do you ask?"

      Tom shrugged as he sat up causing his friend to follow and do the same. He looked over his shoulder and stared at her. He didn't need to be scared to talk to her, no this is Roseanne, his longtime friend. He didn't have to hide his emotions in front of her, because she can easily read what he's thinking.

      "I don't like him. He's a dick."

      "He's my friend," Rosé defended her friend. She stood up from her bed and walked until she was right in front of him. "Tom, you don't know him, okay? So let's drop this conversation and move on - "

      "Rosie - "

      "No! No, Tom! I'm not giving you permission on choosing who I can be friends with."

      "He likes you! Can't you see that - "

      "Of course I know that!" she exclaimed. "He told me he did okay?"

      Tom stared at her as disbelief filled him once more. He got up from her bed until he was towering over her by a few inches. He shook his head before he whispered softly, "He's not good for you, Rosie, I know that much."

      "He's my best friend, Tom."

      "Then what does that make me? Because I don't, no, I can't see you get hurt."

      "Who cares if I do? I'm not twelve anymore, Tom. I don't need someone to protect me! I'm not made of glass."

      "So what? You guys are like a thing now? Is that it?"

      "And what if we are? What are you going to do about it?"

      Rosé swallowed the dry lump lodged in her throat as she shook her head. She took a step backwards, wanting nothing more than to get away from him. What right did he have to talk to her like this? To tell her this bit of information? In what world did they live in that he could strip her of any happiness.

      If she can't have his heart, why must he steal her heart so no one else can have it? It wasn't fair.

      She wrapped her arms around her waist as she averted her gaze to the carpet. She nodded towards the door, but not once did she look him in the eyes. Maybe it's because deep down she knew that if he did she'd break and do as he say. But she couldn't. And maybe this is selfish of her to want to keep staying around Seth. But if he wasn't going to fix the broken pieces inside of her, she had to find someone that would.

      "I need you to leave, Tom."

      And so he did. But that whole night, not once did he come back.

♔ ♔ ♔

      Rosé threw her head back and tried to suppress her laughter as Seth told her a funny story about when he was in China and how he had gotten lost and needed to find the restroom. "You're so dense, O'Connor, I swear," she teased as her stomach stopped aching from laughing so hard. "Only you would point to your dick to ask for the restroom."

      His cheeks flushed with heat at her vulgar words. He shrugged his shoulders, "Not my fault, okay? But hey, maybe my tour guide wasn't great."

      "Most definitely so," she agreed. She took a sip of her iced water before she set her glass down on the table once more. Rosé hummed as she spun her fork around to pick up the spaghetti. "If you ever want to go to South Korea I'll be your guide."

      "I might have to take you up on that offer." Rosé thanked the waitress as she refilled their cups of water. But she was far too distracted to notice the way Seth had stared at her. He stared at her with such love, such adoration, but at the same time, his eyes held pain.

      "About that talk," Seth began slowly. Rosé attention immediately flew to him at his words. She set her fork down and nodded grimly. "I like you, Annie, a lot. I have ever since you transferred to our school. I don't know, there was something about you.

      "You were drop dead gorgeous in my eyes," he continued as he recalled their memories of school. A smile made way onto his face as he remembered how taken aback he was when he first saw her. "All the lads at school were talking about you, I couldn't blame them. You were so different, so outspoken, and confident. I think that's what I like most about you."

      Rosé couldn't help but ask the question on her mind. She released her bottom lip from her teeth, "But why now? Why tell me now? Surely you must have had a lot of opportunities to tell me this. Why now?"

      "Because I know if I didn't tell you now I would've lost you to him. I couldn't stand him."

      "Because it's him I like?"

      "Yes. But also because he couldn't seem to notice how much pain you were in because of him. It made me mad."

      "Seth . . . "

      And slowly the smile on her friend's face slowly turned to one of sadness. He shook his head as he tried to push away her pity and guilt. "No, Annie, it's fine. I get it. You can never return my feelings. It's okay, I guess I was kind of expecting it."

      "I'm sorry. It's just . . . I don't think it can be anybody except him."

      "Can you tell me why?"

      "Because he feels like home."

      "I see. But, I just want you to know this. This isn't me giving up. This is me giving you the space that you wanted. Nothing between is going to change. I will always be here for you, no matter what. So don't be afraid okay?"

      "Thank you, Seth."

      "He's one lucky guy. I hope he realizes that one day."

♔ ♔ ♔

A/N;

Okay but I am sort of in love with Seth? God I hope I don't get rid of him. I seriously wish I prolonged this whole Seth and Rosé thing, but I kind of had to tone it down. Show people that Rosie isn't using him to heal herself you know?

Don't worry. He's not going away! Seth is my baby boy and I will always love him.

Be sure to show your love for my Peter Parker fanfic 'Oceans and Engines' as well as my Bucky Barnes fanfic 'If It Is You'!

Dedicated to elvctricloves because she binge read this whole book and I was so happy!

Much Love Guys.

( written: august 17, 2017 )
( published: august 17, 2017 )