BEAUTIFUL
CHAPTER FORTY EIGHT
❝IT'S A BEAUTIFUL LIFE, I'LL BE BY YOUR SIDE. IT'S A BEAUTIFUL LIFE, I'LL BE STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU. BEAUTIFUL LOVE, IF YOU'RE UNDER THE SAME SKY WITH ME I WOULD LIKE TO BE JUST BREATHING. IT'S A BEAUTIFUL LIFE, BEAUTIFUL DAY. I'LL LIVE IN YOUR MEMORIES, BEAUTIFUL LIFE, BEAUTIFUL DAY. STAY AROUND ME.❞

♔ ♔ ♔

      There was something so tragic and bitter about goodbyes. Perhaps it is the way it happens that makes it so hard or difficult. Goodbyes were never meant to end things on a good note, but to leave a story open with a cliffhanger. Almost like a book with an open ending left for interpretation, yet we're never satisfied with the lukewarm epilogue given to us.

      Goodbyes or farewells weren't meant to save you from this pain that still lingers, it's meant to calm it down, tone down the stinging pain; it's meant to trap in that pain, but hone it down so you don't die from it. Goodbyes are just meant to ease the ache knowing that that pain is supposed to live with you for the rest of your life, they just make it bearable.

      "You're breaking up with me, aren't you?" Her words fell numb upon his ears, he had to process them once more, two times, and then five more times. It was as if he couldn't understand the words she had spilled out of her mouth. Camille shook her head and averted her gaze to the carpeted floor, her fingers picking at her cuticles, "You're breaking up with me, Tom. Right?"

      The actor shook his head as he swallowed the unusually large lump in his throat. What was wrong with him? His girlfriend is standing right here in front of him, basically blurting out her fears, and yet all he could do is think about Reyna. He's here thinking about a girl whose miles away, a girl he hasn't even seen, and a girl who most certainly isn't his girlfriend. Why can't he immediately answer Camille, why is he even hesitating his answer? He shouldn't be.

      He loves her, but was it enough for her?

      Was this relationship even enough for him?

      "What? No, what are you talking about?" Tom rushed out as he stepped forth, ready to take her into his arms and reassure her that nothing between them was going to change. But he was lying again, and his job was turning into a habit. But before Tom could even place his hand on her she stepped back, her back meeting the wall of his hotel room. "Cami . . ."

      "I deserve the truth don't I? You're breaking up with me," Camille repeated, her voice breaking at the last sentence. She shakily inhaled and exhaled as she met his eyes, the brown eyes he loves so much glossed with tears of pain. The model shook her head as her fingers threaded through her hair, pulling harshly at her roots she repeated the words once more, but this time she said it as if to remind herself of this harsh reality. "You're breaking up with me."

      "No! No, Cami, I'm not — "

      "But you are! You're going to break up with me whether you like it or not. What? We're going to stay together forever? No, we're bound to break up, Tom!" Camille exasperated. Her eyes no longer held burning love, but anger and desperation. It was almost as if she wanted him to break up with her and he knew why, to save herself from further pain. "Break up with me. I rather you break up with me now than years down the line where we both hate each other. Just do it! Please!"

      "I can't!" Tom snapped back at her. He brought her into his arms as she struggled against his hold. He shook his head desperately as he felt tears roll down his cheeks. He brought his face to the crook of her neck and sniffled, "I can't let you go, Camille. Please, I still love you. You have to believe me."

      "But you don't love me enough. Not like you used to. And I don't  know why," Camille whispered brokenly. A single tear rolled down her cheek as hiccups erupted from her small body. She shrugged her shoulders as she gave him a bittersweet smile, a soft laugh leaving her. "It's okay if you don't love me anymore, Tom. People grow out of their feelings, and I completely understand. So please, tell me right here right now, that you don't love me."

      "I — I can't do that, Cam."

      "You can't, or you won't?"

      "Please don't do this. I love you, I love you so much."

      "No you don't. Tom, just say it, please."

      "Why can't you understand that I love you?" Tom blurted out, but he knew he shouldn't have said that. Because caught that glimmer of trust being broken right in front him, right in her eyes. Do you know what it does to a guy to see someone you love, someone who you adore, break their trust right in front of your eyes? Do you know what it feels like to see their trust being ripped out of their chest right in front of you?

     I can't breathe, Tom panicked internally. His heart was racing at the thought of never seeing Camille again. Will he forget the color of her eyes? What if he forgot that her eyes are a specific shade of dark brown that reminds him of dark chocolate, or that the minute she steps into the sunlight those eyes looked like they contain specks of the sun in them. What if he forgot the lyrics to that one Broadway song because she's not around to sing it for him? What if he forgot that she always drank her coffee black with one packet of sugar.

      What if he forgets what it felt like to love her?

      What if he forgets what it felt like to be loved?

      Forget Reyna, forget her. She can't leave me, Tom rushed through his thoughts. He shook his head as she slowly pushed him off of her. Camille shook her head, almost as if she disapproved of his touch.

      "Please don't leave me," he pleaded quietly. "I really do love you."

      "But not the way you used to, Thomas. Please, just say it. For me."

      "I don't want you to leave me."

      "Tom . . ."

      "I'm scared of you leaving. Please don't do this."

      Hesitantly Camille took a step forward, and Tom can't lie that it didn't spark a flicker of hope. He tried his best not to extinguish that hope knowing that it was the only thing that tied her back to him. The brunette girl cupped his cheek lovingly, the pad of her thumb stroking the skin underneath his eye. He leaned into her chest feeling his tear hit her skin delicately.

      "Silly boy, I don't want to leave you. But it's going to hurt us both even more if we don't do this now," Camille whispered. The small smile on her face, it didn't hold bitterness like the one before. It held sadness for the future that they couldn't have, the plans they made all dissipated instantly. "I love you so much, but this was never enough for us. It's okay if you say it, I won't cry, I promise. It's not going to be scary, I swear."

      "Don't lie to me." He closed his eyes as he felt more tears rapidly flow down a trail on his cheeks. The wet skin slowly drying leaving his face stiff like the organ in his chest.

      "You're not scared of me leaving, Tom. You're scared of not loving anyone else ever again. But I promise you that you will fall in love again. And I hope that the next person you love will be somebody who was worth staying for. I'm sorry I couldn't be that person."

      "Camille . . ."

      "Can you say it? Please."

      ". . ."

      ". . ."

      "I . . . I don't love you anymore."

♔ ♔ ♔

      Tom snorted as Rosé's sobs increased. Without even thinking twice he grabbed a handful of popcorn from the paper bowl and threw it at her. The buttery treat scattering across his bed, but not before they collided with her face. The small Korean girl stopped crying and looked at him with a burning glare that looked like it could kill him and his future grandchildren.

      "Okay, it's not that bad. You know they're going to get back together. And you told me to stop you from crying," Tom defended himself right before she slapped him harshly on the leg. He groaned in pain before he fell onto his back, the bowl of popcorn forgotten and in between them. The actor hissed as the stinging slowly started to die down, his eyes snapped and narrowed at his best friend who stuck her tongue out at him. "You're a vicious woman, do you know that? I pity the man you'll marry because quite frankly I don't think I can take this anymore. I refuse."

      "Three days," Rosé reminded in an overly sweet voice. She teased him by popping a few kernels into her mouth before she playfully winked at him, to which he gagged at. She dabbed at the tears on her cheeks before her attention focused on the laptop near the foot of the bed. "You already know what I was like whenever I made you watch these Korean dramas with me."

      Tom sat up and muttered under his breath as he situated himself in a comfortable position. "Don't remind me. We binged the whole show of Boys Over Flowers. I swear, if you refer to me, Haz, Sam, and Harry as F4 again I'm going to throw up," he warned her as he gave her a pointed glare. Of course, Rosé rolled her eyes and focused on the show in front him. "Um excuse me? I was talking? Is what's his face better looking than me?"

      Rosé looked at him incredulously before she paused the episode. She pointed to the screen whilst looking at Tom. "You see this trash can?" she asked as she stared at him. "This is how attractive you are to me. So suck it up. Servant for three days means watching Korean dramas with me. If you don't want to do this we can skip right to the punishment, but don't think I forgot what it was. So it's up to you, be my servant and watch this Korean man's abs with me, or 300 push ups in one set. What will your choice be?"

      ". . . You're right I wasn't appreciating his abs. Please, continue this amazing show. I so want to find out if they break up or not, or will she choose the second lead instead?"

      "Don't make fun of me for having second lead syndrome. It's a serious condition here!"

      "You're an idiot for liking the second lead guy! Why not the first? They're obviously going to end up together!"

      "Um you don't know that! What if she chooses the second guy?"

      "What do you know about writing?"

      "I smell ships like you smell food. It's simple."

      "They're not going to end up together, Rosie Girl. Save yourself of this pain and ship the main couple!"

      "Uh no, I refuse!"

      "You're shipping a dying ship! You're choosing Titanic over Princess Cruise!"

      "Let me die with this ship then. Don't ruin my fantasies."

      "I'm trying to be a good, god honest best friend by protecting you from the dangers of these dramas! I know what's best, believe me."

      "I'm not trusting a guy who thought that swimming in the winter is a good holiday idea."

      "That was one time!"

      "One of many."

      Before Tom could defend himself a loud knock rang from the door. The two froze before Rosé harshly nudged Tom, telling him to respond. Tom quickly cleared his throat before asking a loud, "Yes?"

      "Tom, is Rosé there?" His manager asked. The two looked at one another with widened eyes knowing that they have been caught. His manager made it clear that Rosé wasn't allowed to come over at night so she wouldn't distract Tom and so she could wake up early for work.

      "No?"

      ". . . just keep it down okay? It's getting late."

      "Got it."

      After a few seconds the two waited for Tom's manager to leave before bursting out into laughter. They clutched onto their stomachs in an attempt to stop the aching that grew. But Rosé lost balance and soon fell onto Tom, her back colliding with his chest. Tom groaned in pain as Rosé's infectious laughter grew.

      She pushed herself off of him as she playfully smacked his shoulder. She pointed an accusing finger at him, "It was your fault, you were yelling at me."

      "But you always yell at me?"

      "Get with the program, Tom, this is how this relationship works."

      "I want a divorce."

      "Fine, I want an alimony then."

      "I knew you wanted me for my money."

      "That's why we're still friends you dork."

      "I thought we were friends because you were using me for my crayons."

      "That too. You're the breadwinner in this marriage, Tommy Boy. I'm the trophy husband."

      "You're a terrible husband, Rosie Girl. Noah would never treat me like this."

      Right on cue Tom's door flung open, the door slamming against its walls. Panicking, Rosé rolled off the bed and onto the floor as an attempt to hide herself from Tom's manager. Tom gulped as he tried to act nonchalant by focusing on the Korean drama in front of him. 

      But walking into his room was not his manager.

      It was Noah.

      At least, Tom thinks it was Noah.

      The only Cha son walked in with a black, charcoal face mask on, a bright pink sweatband pushing his bangs away from his forehead. And he was dressed in baggy Pokémon sweats, a white tee shirt with a clear coffee stain, and a pair of ridiculous pineapple printed flip flops. He glared harshly at Tom before he walked over to the other side of the bed where Rosé laid.

      "It's two in the fucking morning. Some of us has to fucking work," Noah snapped. "So shut your fly traps and let me get my beauty sleep."

      "You need it more than me anyways," Rosé mumbled as she pushed herself off the floor. She stuck her tongue out at Noah who gave her a threatening glare right as his sister sat herself back on Tom's bed. "Sorry, my face is the best, 오빠 (Oppa)."

      "Go choke," was the last thing Noah said to his sister before he sauntered out of Tom's hotel room leaving the two once again.

      Tom turned to Rosé with his eyebrows arched. "Tell me that that wasn't the hottest Cha sibling just now."

      "Do you want to get choked?"

      "Yes please."

♔ ♔ ♔

A/N;

I made the first half of the chapter super angsty and then the last half crack so I can make it long and shit. I don't know, I find myself doing this a lot where I sort of switch? This is my attempt to heal y'all after the flashback Tom and Camille breakup. By the way did we ever establish a shipname between them?

I JUST REALIZED THAT WE'RE ALMOST DONE WITH THIS BOOK AND I'M NOT READY.

Dedicated to quacksoint! Thanks for voting love!

Much Love Guys.

( written: september 9, 2017 )
( published: september 9, 2017 )