NICKY WAS HAVING A REAL DREAM. It had taken him quite a while to realize it, as he was looking into his dream once more, something that hadn't happen in quite some time, except this wasn't a memory. He knew because, despite knowing his mind that this was home, he didn't recognize this place.

He wandered around, searching for something that seemed familiar, wondering if this was simply a memory he couldn't remember. But he could scarcely remember a time when his life wasn't filled with some form of noise, even if was a passing car in the far distance of his silent room.

But, as he continued to walk, he came to realize that there was, in fact, noise.

There were voices all around him, clear, recognizable voices that made him smile, his heart soaring as he listened to them. He couldn't quite make out the words, but they sounded happy. They said words that, while he couldn't understand, made him feel good, words that greeted him like the old friends that they were.

He found himself climbing up a small hill, a bench and a tree coming into view. It wasn't any he recognized, but he felt an indescribable feeling of home. Everything about this filled him with a sense of home.

He approached the person and saw, with a start, that it was himself. He shifted a little, so he could see himself head-on, pausing a ways away, just looking on, trying to see himself.

"Hey, Nicky," a voice greeted, and he turned to see Rhett, walking towards his dream self with a wide smile, walking past him and touching his shoulder.

"Hey, kiddo," another voice said, coming from the other side, and Nicky saw Terran walk behind his dream self, squeezing his other shoulder.

He watched as all these people walked past, ranging from the patients he had long since lost to the people he had just met, teenagers from Midtown to men who should be older than they looked, all of them greeting him and smiling, walking in and out.

The whole time, he looked at himself, but it wasn't until all the people had stopped that he truly saw. His dream self was sitting alone on the bench, smiling.

It was a smile Nicky had never felt, never experienced. It was a smile that he could only describe, just by looking at it, as purely happy. Truly happy. There was nothing behind that smile except an all-encompassing happiness. He looked at that smile and found no want, no longing, no hidden secret or pain.

He was truly happy.

○ ○ ○

Nicky panted as he and Sam paused for a moment, the older man laughing at him as he caught his breath, commenting on Nicky's lack of endurance.

"I was a theatre geek, not a track star," Nicky spat, unable to catch his breath, nearly falling over.

"I was a football player," Sam pointed out, but he laughed, moving to sit down next to him, patting his back as they laid on the grass.

It was much too early for them to be out, yet there they were, Sam having convinced Nicky to go for a run with him in Central Park. The young man had forced himself to get up before the sun, don clothes that were somewhat acceptable for exercise, and try to keep up with his boyfriend. The things he did for the people he loved.

"You okay?" Sam asked, after giving the man enough time to rest and catch his breath.

"No," Nicky coughed, groaning and turning on his side, "God, I don't get you people. You run. For fun? Is it a vanity thing, I mean, you're already really attractive, and Steve's really gotta start investing in bras, I don't see why you need to do this every morning."

Sam laughed and ran a hand through Nicky's hair, listening to the younger man babble on about how, as a professional, he strongly recommended against going outside and running. Endorphins weren't worth the physical pain.

"I'd rather be mentally unwell than fit," he finished with a wheeze, and Sam laughed, reaching over to kiss his forehead, despite both of them being covered in sweat.

"Ew," Nicky complained, pushing the man away, "That's disgusting, I'm all gross."

"Yeah, but you're cute," Sam laughed, reaching out and tugging him into his lap, the two kissing on the grass for a few minutes, Nicky barely even caring that they were in public and sticky, pushing Sam away when the man tried to kiss his neck.

"Not until I shower," he said, standing up and helping Sam to his feet, "I need coffee, it's too early."

"You're already awake, drink juice," Sam retorted, tossing an arm over Nicky's shoulder, the two walking towards the exit.

Nicky sighed long-sufferingly, shaking his head. "I can't believe I dated a sport-man. He probably likes watching 'The Big Game' on TV for fun. Is really into all the sports. Why did I do this to myself?"

Sam snorted. "Your roommate plays baseball nearly every day with a bunch of kids, his boyfriend is Captain America, and the guy you were first in love with can pick him up without breaking a sweat. You're surrounded by us."

Nicky shook his head. "Rhett doesn't like jogging, Steve was an art major, and Terran doesn't count. You're the odd one out, please leave my life."

Sam laughed and hugged him, the two just standing in the middle of the path, Nicky with his face dropped on Sam's shoulder, and Sam with his face buried in the crook of Nicky's neck. They just held each other for a moment before hearing the sound of someone running towards them, pulling away to let them pass without much discomfort.

"Harry wants to know if we wanna meet him and the kids to grab some coffee before their classes start," Nicky said, reading out the text he had just received, pulling his phone out from his pocket.

"Yeah, why not," Sam sighed, the two making their way towards the Starbucks, Sam trying to convince the younger man to order a juice or a water instead of a coffee.

"It's a Starbucks," was all Nicky had for argument, and Sam couldn't very well disagree, but he didn't have to be happy about it.

"Hey, Nicky," the kids all greeted once the two stepped inside, all of them seated at a large table towards one of the windows.

The man smiled and made his way towards them, counting them all off in his head—Harry, Johnny, Gwen, Flash, Phillip, Aurora, Peter, and Diana—Sam going to order for the both of them, ignoring Harry to offered to pay, shaking his head and giving him a stern look. Nicky laughed as he scanned over all the kids who were smiling at him happily.

"You got together in the end," Diana hummed, though she had known for a while, like the rest of them, but they had been unable to truly see the two of them together at any point.

"Yeah," the man said, sitting across from them, "It was actually very romcom-esque."

The teens all gasped, demanding answers. Nicky glanced over towards Harry who grinned at him, sitting close to Johnny, looking at him eagerly, waiting for answers like everyone else. There wasn't any hidden pain behind his eyes and smile anymore, no longing. There might be love, but another kind now.

Looks like he wasn't the only one who had moved on.

He smiled at him, sharing a brief moment, before turning to the entire group, his smile only widening. "So I was just working, right, and..."

º º º

He and Sam parted ways for a brief time, Sam heading off to shower at either his brother or his sister's place, as theirs homes were both closer than Sam or Nicky's apartments were. He promised to drop by once he finished with the rest of his files, which wouldn't take too terribly long, especially since he was going in early.

Nicky entered the loft to find it already unlocked, and his entire body shook as he reached out to open the door, afraid of who could be on the other side. Terran would have never left the door unlocked, and he had told Nicky before he left that he was going out shopping.

He pushed open the door to find one of the chairs pushed into the middle of the living room.

"Tony, why are we doing this again?" Nicky sighed, remembering the first time he had truly met Tony, the man having set up the chair in the exact same way.

The man turned around, the chair once again unwilling to cooperate, ruining the effect, scowling at Nicky. "What is it with you? You're either sleeping in late, or leaving super early, is there no consideration for the potential houseguests who break in?"

Nicky laughed and rolled his eyes, locking the door behind him and moving to sit on one of the couches, not wanting to make toast this time around. "What's going on, I thought you'd be with the scary little kid and Birdie."

Tony had referred a woman by the name of Birdie Walsh to his services, the woman sticking around while her son had proclaimed on many occasion just how much he hated him, the family becoming one of the many things on Nicky's mind.

"School and work," the man replied easily, "I just came here to say thank you. For all your help."

Nicky's smile faltered. "You're leaving?"

Tony snorted. "No, are you kidding me, we haven't fixed my deep seated daddy issues yet. No, I just wanted to swing by and say it. Because I finally heard from Steve that you've stopped the search for a while. If you're happy, I'm happy."

Nicky shrugged. "I'm working towards it. But I'm okay. Thank you, Tony, and I feel the same to you."

Tony paused for a moment before sighing. "Okay, I can see you're disgusting, but I'm going to hug you now."

Nicky laughed and nodding, reaching out and pulling the man into a hug, finding that there was barely even a height difference between them. He even dared to say he was taller than the man.

"I'm glad it worked out with you and Sam," Tony said, patting his back and pulling away, fidgeting slightly, "Though I will miss having my sugar baby."

Nicky scoffed, laughing slightly. "Aw, c'mon. I'll always be your sugar baby. You financially sustain me, and instead of sexual favors, I give you emotional advice."

Nicky laughed and pulled Tony into another hug. "I'm glad I met you, Tony. You're really great."

Tony patted his back. "You too, Nick. Now go shower, you're gross."

º º º

When Nicky was done showering, he found Steve and Rhett seated in the living room, both of them looking up when they saw him. Steve stood first, much to his surprise, Rhett leaving to go to his room, sharing a look with Nicky.

"I'm going to visit Bucky in a week and a half," Steve said, and Nicky's stomach churned, and the blond rushed to add, "I promise you, I will come back. You mean too much to me."

Nicky breathed out a laugh, finding that the news wasn't as crippling as it probably would have been before; it still hurt more than anything, but it was much better than it should have been. "I think you're talking to the wrong roommate, Steve, Rhett's in his room."

Steve gave him the look, the kind of look he gave whenever he was playing his wizened older man part, the true Captain America-esque look of slight disapproval, the beard and the hair doing nothing to lessen its effects.

"You mean the world to me, Nicky," he whispered, pulling him into a hug and holding him close, his arms filling Nicky with a sense of security, "You've been really good to me. I want you to know that before I go. I'll come back, but you need to know."

Nicky swallowed, feeling the sudden need to cry. "Thanks, Steve. I feel the same about you. Thanks for making Rhett happy. And me too."

Steve smiled and touched his cheek before moving to sit back down, jerking his head towards Rhett's door, clearly indicating that the other blond was waiting for his roommate.

Nicky made his way over, peering in to find Rhett fiddling with his watch, not looking up when Nicky closed the door behind him.

"You know I love you," was the only thing he said, and Nicky burst into tears.

"Come here," Rhett said, holding out his arms, and Nicky climbed onto the bed, settling next to him, the two holding each other for a moment.

"I love you too," Nicky said, dropping his head onto his shoulder, "You're my favorite person, you know that? More than Terran and Steve and Sam and all of them. You know that?"

Rhett swallowed, trying to laugh. "Don't lie, Nicky."

"I'm serious," he said, forcing him to look him in the eye, "Nine years, Rhett. You've stuck with me for nine years. You're my life partner, that won't change."

Rhett tried to smile, but he was crying at this point. "Good. 'Cause I don't care that you got yourself a boy too, it's us first, yeah?"

"It's us first," Nicky whispered, and the two closed their eyes, pressing their foreheads together.

"And to think, we were supposed to get married if we didn't find anyone in time," Rhett laughed, and Nicky laughed as well, the two dissolving into quiet giggles as they held each other, pressed up in Rhett's too small bed.

They just stayed there for an indescribable amount of time, holding each other, until Rhett smacked him softly, sitting up. "Okay, c'mon. Terran wants you to meet him where the complex used to be. If you start now, you won't be late."

Nicky raised his eyebrows. "When did he tell you that?"

Rhett grinned, reaching for his phone, showing that time hadn't passed at all since Nicky had climbed onto the bed and into Rhett's arms. "Just now."

Nicky scoffed, and pushed him, but not before commenting at how much better he had gotten at controlling his powers, leaving the room and saying goodbye to Steve before heading out the door.

Time to head back home. Or, at least, to another version of it.

º º º

"I miss them."

"I miss them too."

Nicky and Terran were standing on the other side of the street, staring at the complex in front of them. The front was still in tact, the illusion not having been dropped, which had given them both hope that at least one member was still okay, since their control remained. Inside, it was as if the building had just been picked up and moved. But the outside still looked like home. Still felt like home. And, oddly enough, the inside did too.

Terran tugged him close, different than the way the others did—each person in Nicky's life seemed to have a different way of holding him—rubbing his arm comfortingly. "Chin up, kiddo. We'll find them."

Nicky nodded. "I know."

Terran looked down at him, giving him a small smile. "It's been five years, kid, give us a smile, yeah?"

Nicky rolled his eyes, but smiled immediately, unable to help himself whenever Terran asked him. The blond grinned back at him, positively elated every time he saw the younger man even so much as turn his lips up.

"You smile so much now," the man said, softer this time, more genuine, if that were even possible, "Are you happy?"

Nicky shrugged. "I'm happy-ish. Not quite there just yet, but I can be happy. I can feel happy. But I'm not fully happy. I can't say I am happy, but I'm not sad, either."

Terran gave him a small, true smile. "Sounds better than anything I could have hoped for you. You know, when I left you here, I thought you were going to move on, have the white picket fence and the two-point-five kids, suburban house, the whole shtick. But then I realized something."

"What's that?" Nicky asked, turning back to look at the complex.

Terran breathed out a laugh. "That the dream sucks." He shook his head, sighing. "I mean, it's so cliche, remember that word?" Now it was Nicky's turn to laugh. "You weren't made for that life, Nicky, but it doesn't mean you weren't made for the best one there is. You deserve a good life, and I'm gonna make sure you get it. We all will."

Nicky bit his lip, feeling the urge to cry again. "Thank you. But you know," he said, turning towards the man, knowing that the dream had been his initially, "There's nothing wrong with cliches. I mean, I know I always complained about them, but I grew up. I mean, I get they're overused, but...name one person who wouldn't give anything for a happy ending."

Terran pulled him close again, and Nicky could see he was struggling not to cry. "You're a good kid, Nicky. You're a good man. I'm proud to see what you've become."

"I'm not finished yet," Nicky said, standing on his tiptoes just to make him laugh, "I've still got some growing to do."

Terran laughed at the same time Nicky's phone buzzed. He motioned for him to get it and Nicky pulled out his phone, realizing it was a text from Sam, asking if he should just head over to the loft or if he wanted to meet somewhere else.

Nicky looked up at Terran, then over to the complex, which was a home he never got to experience for as long as he wanted. For as long as he deserved.

He texted him an address.

º º º

Nicky sighed as he finished telling his story, staring at the house right by his own, knowing fully well that his parents were looking out the window at them, glancing at them briefly to smile, which appeased them enough to stop snooping; they were healing.

Sam stared at the house in front of them, shaking his head as tears continued to stream down his face. "I'm so sorry."

Nicky shrugged. "It's okay. I mean, I wanted to be a part of their family more than anything else, but I'm happy with the ones I got to choose. I had the complex, then I have you guys. I mean, you're my boyfriend, but you're important to me. Real important."

Sam threw an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close; it seemed everyone in his life knew that Nicky needed to be held, to be touched, and Sam's touch never ceased to make Nicky's entire body light up like a fire.

"You're important to me too," he said, rubbing his shoulder, "Why'd you bring me here?"

Nicky shrugged, continuing to stare at the house. "I don't know. Maybe 'cause this was the first dream I ever had. Not a sleep dream, but a goal dream. I wanted what they had. I wanted it more than anything."

"Well, what do you want now?" Sam asked, turning to look at him.

Nicky shrugged, glancing over at him as well. "I don't know. Honestly, I...I'm okay where I am. I've got a family, friends, people who love and care about me. I'm healing, I'm learning, I'm growing. I've grown. I'm okay where I am."

"Are you happy?" Sam ventured.

Nicky shook his head, but he was still smiling. "No. I'm almost happy. Close, just not quite there. But I'll make it eventually. For now, I'm okay. And that's fine by me. How about you?"

Sam smiled, the two turning back to look at the house. "I feel the exact same way."

Standing together were two men who weren't happy. But they also weren't sad. They were just two men who have felt injustice, loss, and pain. But they were also two men who have felt support, love, and care. They were two men who felt so much and felt even more. They were almost happy. Close, just not quite. But they were okay. They would be okay.

Everything would be okay.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I'll say more in the afterword, but this hurt me more than anything else in the world.

The dream Nicky had was symbolic, because he never had a dream that wasn't a memory, and now here he is, dreaming about something that he strives to reach: being truly happy. And that is his "dream," if you will. I thought it was clever.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!