"WE'RE GOING OUT TODAY."

Nicky groaned as he woke up, the sun shining on his face, lifting his head from his pillow to see Terran leaning against his wall, having been the one to open his curtains in the first place. He had gotten rather used to sleeping at regular hours, what with Terran forcing him to take his melatonin gummies and waiting until he fell asleep before the room, and it was both a relief to his physical health, but a frustration to his jobs.

He said as much to the man as he was forced to actually eat breakfast, and Terran just shrugged. "You need to learn to balance everything in your life and manage your time."

"I was," Nicky said, "That's why I didn't sleep much—"

"That's not a valid in any way, as a psychologist, you know this well, you've seen the effects lack of sleep has on anxiety and depression, and yet you expose yourself to that kind of destructive behavior, I swear, it's like I'm dealing with a teenager, Rhett, how do you deal with this?" Terran demanded, turning to look at the blond who was currently half asleep in his boyfriend's lap, glad that he didn't have any work that day. 

"What?" the teacher mumbled, lifting his head up to look over at Terran, "Uh, yeah, Nicky's the worst, send him back, I don't want him anymore."

Nicky made an indignant sound in the back of his throat, crossing his arms and looking around, pretending like he hadn't stomped his foot. "Did Sam drop by?"

"Sorry, Nick, he's not gonna be here until tonight, he's babysitting for his sister," Steve explained, trying to keep up with Rhett who was shifting around, trying to get comfortable.

Nicky quirked his lips to the side, a little put out, but understanding. "Makes sense." He turned towards Terran, yawning. "What're we gonna do today?"

The blond smiled, but didn't say anything, instead just placing a finger to his lips before heading towards the fridge, opening it and staring for barely a minute before reaching in and pulling out the juice bottle.

"I gotta go buy groceries," Nicky yawned, hopping up onto the counter, legs swinging as he watched Terran make breakfast, "Why'm I so tired?"

The blond laughed, walking over to him and ruffling his hair. "This is what happens when your body realizes you've been holding out on the sleep. It's mad at you and wants more."

Nicky reached his arms out for a hug, Terran obliging and wrapping his arms around him while the younger man complained, "This is all your fault, you're the one who made me sleep, I didn't even wanna sleep."

Terran ran his hand through the man's hair, shaking his head. "You're way too emotional to go days without sleep and be totally okay, kid, you know this. I'm not just talking about you not thinking straight, I mean you're really not okay."

Nicky grumbled against his shirt, already starting to fall asleep. "Name one time."

○ ○ ○

Terran sighed as he leaned against the closed door of Nicky's room, raising an eyebrow to Rhett who was reading a book of poetry in the hallway, the younger blond glancing up and returning his exasperated look.

"Can I help you?" Rhett asked lightly, and Terran sighed, shaking his head, tapping the door lightly in question. 

Rhett clicked his tongue, nodding slowly. "Yeah, he's upset? And I figured he didn't want me to stay with him, because he said that he didn't care what I did, so I figured he wanted me to leave."

Terran bit his lip and slid down next to the man who was still freshly new to the complex; Terran was rather suspicious of him, especially considering the danger he was bringing, but he knew that Nicky was already attached, so he figured he might as well impart his wisdom while he could give it.

"Whenever he says he doesn't care what you do, it means that he cares a lot," Terran explained, "And when he's feeling awful, don't leave him. I mean, unless it's going to be detrimental to your mental health, don't leave him, it's safer that way."

Rhett frowned. "But usually when people are upset, they want to be left alone."

"Half the time, the reason he's upset is because he feels alone," Terran sighed, "But he's been with you this entire time, has something out of the ordinary happened with him, have you noticed?"

Rhett shrugged. "I mean, he's not sleeping. That's why he got me this eye mask, because he keeps the lights on while he's working or studying."

Terran cursed, shaking his head. "How long has he gone like this?"

He watched as Rhett really thought, mumbling softly and glancing down at his watch, as if it would have given him answers instead of just mocking him. "Almost a week, if not more. I'm sorry, the days are starting to blur."

"That's fine," Terran said, squeezing his shoulder before rising up, tapping the wood on the door, "Hey, kid, it's me. Can I come in?"

There was a pause. Then, "Do what you want, I don't care."

The older blond nodded, glancing down towards Rhett who was watching him carefully, a finger still marking his page. Sharing one last look, Terran stepped into the room, surprised that the door had been left unlocked.

"What's up?" Terran asked, sitting down next to the lump buried underneath a pile of blankets.

Nicky didn't respond, just stayed buried underneath the pile. Terran just continued to sit there, patiently waiting until the boy finally decided to respond.

"I feel bad," he said lamely.

Terran hummed, trying not to sound like the know-it-all parent, but also feeling as though it was necessary. "I see. Do you now get why sleep is necessary to feel okay?"

"I don't feel this way because I don't sleep, shut up," the boy spat, but his tone fell flat, and it was clear he was so numb he couldn't even find it within himself to be angry.

Terran rubbed his face, trying not to sigh too loudly. "We'll talk about this when you feel better, kiddo, but for now, just sleep, you'll feel better." After a few moments, he asked, "Do you want me to stay with you?"

"I don't care," Nicky mumbled, the blankets shifting around him.

Terran nodded. "Okay."

With that, he toed off his shoes and climbed to the part of the bed that Nicky wasn't taking up, burrowing under the pile of blankets, finding the boy curled up in a little ball, his sweater sleeves tugged over his fists, looking at him with wide eyes that dropped as soon as the boy wriggled over and pressed himself against Terran's side, falling asleep within minutes.

○ ○ ○

"You know," Nicky said, trying to keep up with Terran and hold him back, "Maybe we should just skip the arcade. Let's go to Coney Island instead, I hear they already fixed up the disaster that went down a few months ago."

Terran paused, looking down and raising an eyebrow at the man. "You loved that arcade, what happened to it? Did you burn it down?"

Nicky huffed, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "No, but the owner died, and they all kinda hate us, and Sam kinda threatened the new owner, who was also the original owner's son, so we should, you know, not go there."

Terran groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You know...all I wanted to do was go back to the arcade with my kid, but it turns out his boyfriend decided to threaten the manager."

"I mean, he was sticking up for me, I guess," Nicky mumbled, "The manager was getting all up in my face and yelling at me."

"Wait, what?" Terran demanded, looking more angry than Nicky had seen him in the entirety since he'd been back, "When? Why? Wait, we have to go down there now." He started stalking off in the direction of the arcade with a new sense of purpose, but Nicky grabbed his arm, trying to stop him.

"Terran, stop, what are you doing?" he cried, fearing for the life of the manager whom he hadn't seen in quite some time.

"I'm gonna give this guy a piece of my mind, who does he think he is, he has no right to do that—" Terran ranted, but Nicky dug his heels into the ground, finally shouting.

"Stop it!" 

Everyone turned to look at him, some stopping to watch the scene, all very confused at the small man who was currently trying to pick a fight with a giant, glaring up at him with a kind of frustration that Terran knew very well when it came to Nicky.

"I'm not a baby anymore, so quit treating me like one!" he cried, and it was as if Terran being ready to fight a random stranger solely based on his account was the final straw for him, "I'm a twenty-six year old psychologist with three PhD's, making more money than most people my age, and living in a stable home with no fear of losing that any time soon, I'm not a baby and I don't need you treating me like one."

Terran opened his mouth, but Nicky cut him off, not caring that people were still listening in. "I don't need you holding my hand through everything anymore—no one needs to do that, actually, not just you. And quit looking at me like I can't ever do anything wrong, I already have enough people holding me on this pedestal, I don't need any more.

"Why were you so ready to just rip apart that random guy just because he was mad at me, he had every right to be mad, he doesn't deserve to get chewed out by you just 'cause he yelled at me, it makes no sense! Not everyone who dislikes me is a terrible person, I mean, I hate it when they don't like me, but that sounds more like my problem, not theirs."

He was breathing heavily at that point, his voice having raised an octave, and he had run his hands through his hair enough to make it stick up in all directions. "I'm not a baby, yeah, I'm a little more emotional than most, but there's no need to act like I'm this pure little thing, because I'm not. You remember what I did to Lily, I never apologized for that, I can be a pretty terrible person—and don't tell me I'm not a terrible person, because I know I'm not, but I can do pretty terrible things, just like any other person can. I'm not a baby."

Terran just stared at him for a moment, leaving a silence long enough to let Nicky know he understood, but not too long that it killed what he said next.

"But you're still my baby," he cooed, breaking out into a smile and tugging the smaller man into a hug, laughing as Nicky tried to free himself from his grip, complaining about how much he hated him.

"I never was your baby," Nicky grumbled, but he was clinging onto Terran like a koala, hugging him tightly, and Terran couldn't help but laugh.

○ ○ ○

"You know I wouldn't be sending you away if I thought it would be safe,"  Terran sighed, trying to smile at Nicky and Rhett as they loaded up one of the cars, heading off to the new building that was already protected for them, a few of the members of the complex having gone ahead and set up all the barriers that would keep them safe, though not completely isolated, unlike the complex itself.

Nicky tried to smile as well, nodding up at him. "I get it. I just wish we got him the first time around. And sorry that we even brought him here."

"Hey," Terran said, placing a hand on Nicky's shoulder and looking over to Rhett who was trying to give them space, raising his voice so the younger blond could hear, "It wasn't either of your faults that he came here, that was his own problem. But he's going to come back, and I'd rather you two be far away from here when that happens, if he sees that you're not here, it'll be safer for all of us. But I'm not happy about doing this."

"You were ready to kick me out the second I got here," Rhett called out from where he was leaning against the car, but he sent Terran a smile to let them know that they were okay; it had taken some time, but the two had grown fond of each other, the both having a fair bit in common once they searched.

He looked back down at Nicky who, despite himself, was starting to cry, his lower lip wobbling and his eyes watering. Terran cooed, bending down and pulling the boy into a hug, lifting him off the ground.

"You're not leaving forever, we're both still in Brooklyn, I'll drop by all the time," he promised, but he knew why it hurt the boy so much, "I'm sorry, Nicky. You know this wouldn't be happening if it didn't have to."

Nicky nodded, but he was quietly sobbing into the crook of Terran's neck. He had been living there for over a year, and had probably planned to stay for as long as he could, because Terran never turned anyone away unless they wanted to leave or they were a danger to the complex. No one ever thought Nicky would be a danger to the complex.

The boy had just found a home, but now he was having to leave it. He had just turned eighteen, and it was like his family was kicking him out. Again.

"I'm gonna visit all the time, I promise, and you like the new place, you said it was nice," Terran tried, and he could actually feel his  ownsadness, he didn't need to try to, and that just made him feel even worse.

Nicky just cried harder, but continued to nod, wanting Terran to know that he understood, but he wasn't happy about it. Terran wasn't faring any better, but there wasn't anything he could do.

"I'm sorry, baby," he whispered, carrying him over towards Rhett who was close to tears just watching them, "I'm not leaving you, I promise, I'm still gonna be here."

"Promise?" Nicky sniffed, sounding so small, and Terran had to bite his lip to keep himself composed.

"Promise. I'm sorry, baby. I'm really, really sorry."

○ ○ ○

Nicky was buzzing with excitement as they made their way to go watch a musical. Terran had heard from a little falcon that Nicky had forced said falcon to listen to an entire musical soundtrack with him, gushing about the political undertones and the well-developed characters all placed within a generally lighthearted aesthetic, so Terran figured that he might as well treat the man to a viewing of it.

"—the actors are all amazing, there's a nineteen year old who just belts every word, and it's amazing, and the main actor—"

Terran smiled down at the man, delighted by how animated he had become, talking a mile a minute about something that very few people knew he loved. It wasn't quite the same excitement he had when he was young, but there was still the energy within him, but placed in a more mature person, which Terran could never stop thinking about.

He had taken to Nicky to a musical on one of his birthdays, and it had been an experience in itself to just watch the man—a boy at the time—get so excited and animated about the musical that Terran hadn't realized he liked to that extreme.

Here he was now, with the same amount of energy, but no longer a boy. There was so much different, yet some things stayed the same, and he just wished he had been able to see it happen; but maybe the only reason it had was because he had been gone.

The two fell into the queue, being led to their seats in the lower mezzanine area, right by the bars, and Terran just turned to look at Nicky who was taking everything in. He wasn't taking it in with the same gasping and awe, he was more reserved this time, but his eyes gave away his excitement.

Terran had spent five years pretending like he hadn't been counting down the days when he would be able to go see Nicky again, waiting to see how different he was, and while the man did change, there was still so much that remained that same.

Maybe that was a good thing.

He finally ripped his attention away from the younger man when the lights dimmed and the show started, wondering when memory lane became so bittersweet.

º º º

The two returned home after going to the stage door, something Nicky had been too shy to do all those years ago, and found the other three men playing Monopoly, Sam clearly winning by the looks of it.

"Sam," Nicky chirped, tugging off his jacket and setting his signed playbill down on the dining table, rushing to where his boyfriend was sitting on the floor by the coffee table, Terran watching him go with a fond smile.

"Hey, princess," Sam greeted, kissing him quickly before pulling him close to his side, "How was your day out?"

Nicky looked over to Terran, smiling brightly. "It was honestly really great. Thank you, Terran."

The blond smiled, moving to sit on the couch, planning  on just watching them play, but they started a completely new game, Rhett handing him his own set of money, and the older man only stared, shocked that he was being invited in.

But he moved to the floor as well, looking at the scene around him, and caught Nicky doing the same, the two men thinking the exact same thing.

A lot of things changed, but there were some things that would always stay the same.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Nicky said this to Terran at least once a week ever since he met him, I just want everyone to know that, because it's funny and Nicky's small.

Also, for those who haven't read Past Lives, the man they were hiding from was Christian Hyde, someone who was a part of the same failsafe program as Rhett back in the 40's, and had been hellbent on getting to Rhett and killing him.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!