IT WAS THE NEXT DAY, AND NICKY WAS EXPECTED TO SLEEP THROUGH ALL OF IT. Terran had slept on the couch that night, Sam and Steve having gone to their own apartments since the tension was too high for them to stay—and Sam never slept over anyways—but the blond had gone into the younger man's room in the morning, pried him away from his work, and forced him to take some sleeping pills, which had taken a lot of coercing and arguing.

By the time he had left Nicky's room, sure that the younger man was out cold, Sam and Steve had returned and were quietly talking with Rhett, all of them speaking in a hushed kind of seriousness that made Terran wince.

"Hey," he tried, though his attempt at lightening the mood fell flat immediately, not quite hitting the needed tone.

"Hey," Sam greeted, "He okay?"

Terran nodded. "He didn't get any sleep, so he's gonna sleep all day."

Sam raised his eyebrows in surprise. "How'd you get him to do that?"

Terran shrugged. "Sleeping pills. He's got this fear of overdosing on them, that's why I had to get some myself. Melatonin bottle's still pretty full, Rhett."

The other blond cursed, shaking his head. "I thought I could trust him to take them himself."

"He's a workaholic, you know that," Terran said, but he was treading on incredibly thin ice, especially under the scrutinizing gaze of Sam.

Rhett looked up from where his head was bent to give Terran a small smile. "We missed you. That was it. No need to act all scared, you didn't do anything wrong."

Sam raised an eyebrow, glancing at him, then Steve, then Terran. "What's with you blonds and being cool with these people who just came back into your lives, like that, we're just supposed to be cool?"

Terran glanced over at him. "I don't expect any of you to be cool, especially not you."

Sam shrugged. "I'm fine with you, actually."

Terran scoffed. "Seriously?"

Sam shrugged, motioning for Steve to speak, which the younger man did happily. "From what I remember of you, Terran, and from what you've caught us up on, you've never done anything that wasn't in the best interest of you and the people you care about. Why wouldn't we be fine with you?"

Terran gave him a bright smile. "I still want a date, man, I still can't believe you exist."

Rhett frowned at him. "You're five years too late. Or, uh, like five months, more like."

Terran snapped, sighing in faux disappointment. "Darn. What a bummer, the only thing that I regret not being here for."

Rhett gave a short laugh, and Terran counted that as a win. He and Rhett had had a shaky start when they first met, but he had found himself growing incredibly fond of the blond, especially when he saw how much Nicky liked him; he had been conflicted when they moved out, because he wanted them to stay, but he knew that Rhett brought with him a danger that he couldn't risk having around all the other members of the complex. He had to think of them too.

That was all he ever did. He only ever thought of his family, but all he ended up doing was hurting them.

"I gotta get to work," Sam said, apologetically detaching himself from the conversation, promising to be back later that night to make dinner, leaving with a quick wave of his hand.

Terran watched him go, before turning back to Rhett who nodded, admitting that he had to do the same, already cursing himself for dawdling so long, sure that he was going to be late. Terran was surprised to find that it was much earlier than he had thought, though he couldn't be too shocked; just because he had been living on Clint's farm didn't mean that he wasn't actively trying to make sure people weren't trying to kill him.

So that just left him and Steve. If the man wasn't involved with Rhett, Terran would have been jumping for joy at the prospect.

It was clear that the man knew it, because he smirked, moving to sit on the couch. "Rhett would never forgive you if you tried anything. Though let it be known, if we weren't involved, I would definitely take you up on your offer for a date."

Terran smiled, moving to sit on another couch, facing him. After a moment, he asked, "How have you been, Steve? Nat and Clint caught me up on what happened, are you and Tony okay, what's going on?"

"We're getting there," Steve admitted, and Terran gave him a sympathetic look, "But I've been good for the most part. I'm glad I found Rhett and Nicky, and that Sam's here now. And now you."

Terran scoffed. "I don't think anyone's glad to see me."

Steve shook his head. "That's where you're wrong. Nicky's happy you're back. But remember, he's been led to believe that you were somewhere far away and possibly hurt. He just didn't understand what happened. But I assume you're alright now?"

Terran nodded. "Unless he wakes up and decides he hates me, I think we're good. He's still upset, and rightfully so, but I don't think at me. But I don't know why Rhett's still talking to me."

Steve gave him a wry smile. "I don't really understand my boyfriend all that much. He'd rather eat popcorn than have actual, real food, he plays baseball with sad kids in Central Park, and for some reason, he likes me. But he's a really forgiving person, and all he wants is to be okay."

"I heard that Hyde finally got put away," Terran said, "That's great. And that's all I know, by the way, they don't tell me much. And I'm guessing you never told Wanda anything specific about your life here?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah, I figured it'd be too risky, though I have told her about Rhett. Just nothing too specific."

Terran grinned, reaching into his pocket. "I know. She wanted me to give you this, and let you know that, one day, she wants to meet him. And I figured that you didn't tell her, because if I had heard that they weren't okay, I would've run over. Probably would've put them at risk, but I wouldn't want them thinking I didn't care."

He handed Steve a bracelet with braided in beads that seemed to be pulsing, and the man grinned at the red glow, immediately slipping it on. There didn't seem to be any true reason why the beads were glowing, but it might have just been to remind Steve of Wanda. Whatever the reason, it was a sweet gesture.

"Have you heard from Nat?" he found himself asking, wishing he didn't sound as desperate as he did.

Steve gave him a sad look. "No. If anything, I thought you might know. Does Clint know?"

Terran sighed, shaking his head. "If he does, he didn't tell me. She's been distancing herself more ever since the whole thing with you guys. She's been giving short little updates, which was how I knew that I was safe to come out, but that's it."

Steve gave him an encouraging smile. "It'll work itself out. Just give it time."

Terran laughed shortly, looking over towards the three sets of doors, just barely able to catch a glimpse of Nicky's. "You know that saying, 'time heals all wounds'?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah."

The older man sighed, dropping his head. "Sometimes, it makes them."

º º º

By suggestion of Steve, Terran brought Rhett lunch, since the younger blond forget lunch. Again.

"I forgive you," the teacher gasped, taking the takeout bag from his hands, immediately diving into the food.

Terran smiled tightly, taking a seat across from his desk. "I'm not trying to win your love."

"Oh, believe me," Rhett said around his food, "You can't buy my love. But in all honesty, I forgive you. For the most part."

Terran sighed, leaning back in his seat. "How can I get that to a full forgiveness?"

Rhett held up a finger, finishing the food in his mouth before sighing, leaning back in his seat as well. "There's really nothing you can do, because it's all up to me just figuring everything out. I mean—I'm still pretty confused as to why you thought that we would be okay with you gone—but everything else, for the most part, makes sense? Though I'd like some more context about you needing to be in hiding."

Terran rubbed his hands, nodding. "Well, for the second question, that would take a very long time to explain, but let's just be clear, I'm the reason why the complex is gone in the first place. I went after this guy to try and keep us safe, but I ended up making us a target."

He bit his lip and Rhett watched in fear and pain as the man tried to fight down his urge to cry; Terran, contrary to how he acted, never felt emotions strongly enough unless he forced himself to, so seeing him unable to fight a strong emotion he didn't want to feel in the first place, was shocking and painful, similar to seeing the copious amounts of guilt he had shown just the day before.

"You guys had been out of the complex for a while, I figured that you didn't need me to pull you out of your lives to go on the run and hide," he explained, on the losing end of his fight against the lump in his throat, "It would've put you in more danger to be with me, and I didn't want that. I figured you two'd finally be free from all the secrets and the lying, you could just live normal lives you never got to without having to worry about keeping the secret about the complex or me..."

Rhett blinked, his mouth open in a pained sort of shock. "Terran...did you seriously think you were weighing Nicky down?"

The blond threw up his arms. "I don't know? Yes! I mean, the kid never—I think he liked me too much, I figured that the reason he wasn't taking a lot of these jobs or whatever was because he didn't know what I thought, I didn't want to be that for him. I was gonna get him a job for S.H.I.E.L.D before this all went down, because I thought he wouldn't be able to get by on his own if I was in the picture. I knew he could do it, but I knew he didn't think he could. I thought he would be fine without me, I realized that I was wrong, and no one's more upset about it than I am."

Rhett nodded. "Nicky isn't upset with you. If anything, he's just upset about the fact that you didn't think he loved you enough."

"I knew he loved me, but I thought he'd realize he deserved better!" Terran cried, "He had you! He had so much potential—he has so much potential, and look at him, he's doing great! But I didn't realize he'd still hold onto me, or the complex."

"You held onto him and the complex this whole time," Rhett pointed out.

Terran shook his head. "Yeah, but I tried to make sure he would be better than me. We were on different levels of tragic backstories, I didn't realize that I would add to the pain."

Rhett shook his head, pushing his glasses to rub his eyes. "You had to worry about so many other people who hurt more than he did, I don't blame you for not realizing that he wouldn't have been able to move past you."

"Lily left us, and she did fine," Terran sighed, "And she was way worse off than Nicky was, you can vouch for me."

The two blonds nodded to each other, sharing a look of understanding as they both thought back to the specific girl in the complex who Terran had found himself and had given all his attention to, but that wasn't enough, because love never fixed what she needed help with, so he offered all he could, everyone in the complex did, and with their help, she finally found herself safe enough to leave, and was doing great. At least, he hoped she was.

Nicky wasn't the only person he had to take care of. He had so many lives he was invested in, so many people to watch over. Nicky was just the last one, and the one he saw himself in. But Rhett understood that Terran's life didn't revolve around Nicky's, no one's life did. No one's life should have.

Rhett was so close to almost falling into the trap, but he caught himself, because the last thing Nicky would want was to learn that people put him before their own safety or mental health. That would have broken him.

"Talk to Sam," the younger blond said, "Because I gotta kick you out soon, Steve's gonna swing by to teach art to the kiddos, and I don't need to try to explain to them that we're not dating you too, so..." he made a shooing motion with his hands.

Terran gave him a sly smile. "If you wanted to—"

"I don't," Rhett said flatly.

Terran clicked his tongue, sighing. "Sharing is caring, Rhett."

"I offered to share with Nicky, and he's the only one I'm opening the offer to. Maybe Sam. No, no one else. Have fun with your sad bisexual life, I remember what that was like." Rhett pretended to cry, laughing when the man threw a plastic spoon at his head.

"I have a hot asexual girlfriend, so suck it," Terran shouted, marching out of the room with his head held high, the door slamming shut behind him.

Rhett smiled exasperatedly at the door, tapping his finger against his desk, counting down from ten.

The door opened, Terran poking his head inside. "Yeah, where does Sam work again?"

º º º

Sam was playing Solitaire on his new desk with his new computer sitting in front of him with old and new files calling for his attention, but he was only a man, and sometimes responsibilities just weren't top on his to-do list.

"Hey, Sam."

Suddenly, Sam's responsibilities became all he could focus on.

He sighed heavily as Terran took a seat across from him, pointing to his game of Solitaire. "I see you're hard at work."

"Don't call me out, man, I told you we were cool," Sam sighed, but he moved away from where he was just opening a file, leaning back in his seat and swiveling to face him, "Do you have an appointment?"

Terran raised an eyebrow. "Do I look like I had the resources to make an appointment?"

Sam took in the clothes Rhett had lent to the man, which were too small on his incredibly large frame, as well as the perpetual bags underneath his eyes. "I was gonna make a crack about how you look nicer than me since you're pretty good looking, but I don't think I could say it with a straight face."

"You're not straight, so I don't expect you to," Terran said, and that shocked a laugh out of Sam, so he considered that a win.

"Okay, that was good," Sam admitted, leaning back in his chair, "How can I help you, man, or are you just bored? I kinda see a trend with you blonds."

Terran laughed, shaking his head. "I just wanted to talk to you, Rhett figured it'd be good. Because you're dating my kid and I wish I could say that I had the power to give you 'The Talk,' but considering the circumstances, you should probably be shouting me down."

Sam gave him a calm look. "Like I said, we're cool, man. And, yeah, I'm dating the kid, I feel a little weird about it, but it's fine."

Terran raised an eyebrow. "Why do you feel weird?"

Sam shrugged, making unintelligible noises before mumbling, "Because I'm like four years older than him and it was fine when I was just messing around and we were just friends, but now I can kiss him and whatever, and remembering high school and that he was a bunch younger than me, it was just not a time."

Terran nodded with pursed lips. "Imagine how I felt, I was, what, seven-eight years older than him?"

Sam choked. "Did you—"

"No!" the man cried, "Definitely not, no. But I wasn't blind, the kid really liked me, and that was hard enough as it was, but I think he knew that I wasn't trying to string him along."

"Nah," Sam said, "From what I've heard, he was just really in love with you. But I think he's been over you for a while now, but there's just—I don't really know, talk to Rhett about it, I'm not qualified to tell you about him."

"But you like him," Terran said, more of a statement than a question, "Right?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I do. A lot, actually, and that kinda freaks me out, but I'm working on it."

Terran shook his head, giving him a small smile. "As someone who has to force himself to feel things, if you feel something in an excess and it's a positive thing, figure out the source, but don't hide from it. If it's healthy, embrace it."

Sam licked his lips, thinking. "Have you felt like this?"

He nodded. "I did. I was surprised, honestly, I never thought that I actually could, but I did. And it's evolved into something a lot bigger, and a lot better, but I started where you were. Maybe even father back, but you'll figure it out."

Sam sighed, and after a few moments, said, "He really cares about you. He's been working on it, figuring out how to still care about you while making sure it's still healthy, and that hasn't really changed his feelings, he doesn't hate you now, he still loves you. Might not be the way he used to, at least I hope not, but...look, you didn't do anything wrong."

Terran gave him a bitter smile. "Are you sure about that? 'Cause there are a lot of voices in my head telling me that I did everything wrong."

Sam leaned forward against his desk, and raised his hand, pointing to his fingers. "Nicky's a psychologist and he's reiterated this multiple times.

"One: you put your needs over the needs of others, you're no use to anyone dead or drowning.

"Two: if you believed that what you were doing was right, and the good effects outweighed the bad effects, you're in the right, because you intended to do right, and, yeah, maybe some people were hurt by it, but the good effects outweighed it; in your case, you're all still alive.

"Three: people make mistakes, but that doesn't mean they're bad people, it means they're human. And what are humans without a few mistakes?"

He dropped his hand and crossed his arms, leaning back once more, waiting for Terran to respond. The blond just smiled at him, a mix between one of appreciation and one of almost pleasant surprise and disbelief.

"He still holds to that?" he asked softly, "Does-does he believe it?"

Sam nodded. "He lives by it, saved a kid's life because of it, and really helped out this other kid. He tells it to most, if not all his patients, from what he's told me, he really lives by it because he understands the merits and the logic. Why're you looking at me like that."

Terran shook his head, unable to wipe the smile from his face. "'Cause I was the one who helped him understand."

º º º

After dinner, Steve had to rest since he had a shift at work starting just after midnight, Sam had to go back to his apartment since it was already pretty late, and he wasn't willing to risk going home when it was too dark—he had made the mistake of doing that multiple times, much to the fear of everyone in contact with him—and Rhett went to go keep Steve company.

Nicky had woken up groggy and, for the most part, had stayed silent throughout dinner, though he had conversed softly with Sam before the older man left, kissing him furtively, as everyone else was still in the room, though they all looked away, not wanting to pry.

But now it was just Nicky and Terran on the couch, the younger man having silently pulled up the TV and turned on a random comedy, curling up by Terran's side, the older man immediately pulling him close, the way he had always done when Nicky finally let him.

They watched in silence for the most part until Nicky interrupted a cheesy line to say, "I love you."

Terran had been trained well enough that he didn't even flinch. "I love you, too."

The psychologist tilted his head to look at him. "But I'm not in love with you. Not anymore."

Terran couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. "I figured. Was that what you were telling Sam before he left?"

Nicky nodded, turning back towards the TV, huddling deeper into the blanket they were sharing. "I just wanted you both to know. I've been working through a lot of emotions these past few months, let me tell you."

Terran smiled, looking down at him. "I'm proud of you, you know. You've gotten a lot farther than you give yourself credit for."

Nicky leaned his head against his shoulder, closing his eyes. "I don't know, I give myself a lot of credit."

Terran snorted, just running his hand through the younger man's hair idly. Then, when he was sure he was asleep, he whispered, "You deserve a lot better, Nicky. But I'm glad you gave me a chance."

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Terran !! Sweets !! Did !! Nothing !! Wrong !! I can't believe the number of people who went after him with pitchforks, like the man did everything to protect Nicky, you think Nicky felt bad about losing the complex, how do you think Terran felt? He started the fucking thing. He had to leave Nicky, he was protecting him, one, and two, he legitimately thought that leaving Nicky would help the guy out, wouldn't weigh him down anymore with the secret of the complex. Ya'll, I've been building up all that context this entire book, am I that bad of an author? Tell me, I need to know, because it hurt to hear all this hate for him, because he did exactly what Nicky always preaches:

He put his own safety before anyone else's. Except he didn't even do that, because he put Nicky's safety over his own happiness.

I'm sorry for this rant, but it hurt me to see that I didn't convey the fact that Terran is a good person well enough. Like damn, you guys reacted worse than Nicky, because Nicky was a reasonable person who actually, you know, thought through the reasoning. And he was the one who was hurt.

And ya'll I don't hate you if you did judge him harshly, like, I don't see you as like this terrible person or anything, I just want to make my intentions clear because I, as the author, want to make sure that my point is being made, so please don't think I hate you, I just want to clear this up, and if you feel bad, I apologize for being harsh, but the comments made me feel very insecure in my abilities as an author, so that's why I needed to get this out.

Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed.