1 0

f o r g i v e

Somehow, I managed to school my face into a perfect mask when Declan revealed the girl's identity.

"Where're you going?" Declan hissed, when I headed for the counter.

"She probably wants to order something."

"Kira - " he began, frantically, but I ignored him and walked over to the counter.

Sliding past the counter, I stepped in front of the cash register and forced a smile onto my face. "Welcome to Savvy's!" I greeted, but the cheeriness in my voice sounded utterly false and hollow. "What can I get you?"

From the corner of my eye, I noticed Declan watch me, a guarded expression on his face. But I forced myself to look at Fiona instead. She was, as I had always expected, absolutely gorgeous, befitting of someone like Joey. Her brown hair fell over her shoulders in pretty waves, and when she smiled back at me, she looked absolutely stunning. But then she opened her mouth and said the few words that I knew were about to change everything.

"Is Joey here?"

I stared at her, chills running down my spine. I felt light-headed, my hands were clammy, and I knew there were two options at hand. I could lie to her and tell her that no, he wasn't. Or I could tell her that he was.

"Yes," I found myself saying, rational and practical as always, "He's just unloading some crates in the back. Would you like to wait?"

Her eyes lit up with a smile, and she nodded, before heading to the nearest seat. A sudden movement from behind me made me turn, only to see Joey coming out from the kitchen. And before I could say anything, Fiona beat me to it by jumping from her seat and leaning against the counter, a huge smile on her face.

"There you are!" she exclaimed, brightly, "I've been looking all over for you."

The surprise in Joey's eyes was unfiltered. He quickly glanced at me, then at Declan, who was still watching the exchange with guarded eyes, before looking back at her. "Fiona," there was a hint of caution in his voice, "What're you doing here?"

"Can't old friends meet to catch up - "

"We're not old friends," Joey cut in smoothly, "What do you want?"

She frowned, disarmed by the abruptness of his question. "Well, I do need to speak with you, but could we go someplace private - "

"Just say it here."

"Alright," Fiona said, a little stiffly. "I know this is going to sound horrid and I am in absolutely no position to say this. But I'm sorry for breaking up with you. And I lied because I was scared."

Joey stared at her in disbelief. "What?"

"When I broke up with you and said it was because I'd dated you for revenge and you deserved to get your heart broken. It was a lie, Joey."

I saw the expression in his eyes soften, his shoulders relax a little. "What do you mean?"

"I meant - " and she looked him straight in the eye, and I knew she was telling him the truth, " - that somewhere along the line, I fell in love with you. And it wasn't just a game. It was real and it frightened me, so I had to let you go."

Her words sunk in the silence. We were all taken aback. None of us had seen this coming, for this was bigger and quicker than a meteorite crash landing on earth.

"What?" Joey blurted, at last.

She shrugged. "I still am. In love with you, that is."

And there it was, and I hardly knew what to think or feel. The walls in the diner had felt claustrophobic. I felt breathless, like all the air had been sucked right out of me, and I was nothing but an empty, vacant vacuum.

"I'll just be in the kitchen," I forced out, tearing my eyes away for him and heading for the door.

Except that was a lie - I needed to get out of there, I needed air, I needed to breathe. Ignoring Mikel's worried questions, I pushed past him and strode quickly through the kitchen, leaving the diner by the back door. But even the air outside didn't feel any less claustrophobic. I could practically feel the blood pounding in my ears, and I sank onto the ground, my back against the wall and I shut my eyes.

Finally, finally, just when I had let my guard down and left the past behind, it had caught up. I should have known it was a time bomb, a ticking time bomb that could explode anytime, anywhere, over and over and over again.

And even now I could no longer say I was strong enough to withstand the explosion, because I wasn't. The past had finally caught up. And it made me reaffirm what I had already known before, a long time ago. That the last phase of the breakup formula could never, ever be completed, because it was a lie.

It was a huge, horrible lie.

And I knew it from the very beginning.

A sudden click from the door beside me made me glance up, and my eyes widened when I realised it was Joey. I quickly got up. "I just needed some air," I muttered, before taking a few steps away from him.

It only took him several strides to catch up, and his eyebrows were knitted with worry as he gazed down at me. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," I told him, wrenching away from his grasp when he reached out. "But it was a lie."

"What was? Fiona's words? Because I have to admit, I don't quite believe - "

"No, not that," I choked out, hardly able to meet his eyes. "The breakup formula. I lied, right from the very beginning, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you that."

My words made him stop and falter in his steps. He stared at me, eyes wide and forehead creased with confusion. "What?"

"You are never going to forget about her," I blurted. My voice was muffled through my tears, but the urge to tell him the truth was far too overwhelming for me to stop. "Just like I am never going to forget about him. And I knew that from the very first day I met you, because there were always triggers, things that made me remember him, like that day when you called me at three in the morning. And I lied and pretended I was Fiona, because you reminded me so much of him. I wanted - no, needed - you to give up on her just as he had given up on me. I had spent months trying to forget, and you were the trigger. And you've spent weeks trying to forget, but the trigger's back. The last phase of the breakup formula has never worked, ever, and I - "

But I was abruptly cut off when Joey reached out and pulled me into his chest. "It's going to be alright," he murmured, "The breakup formula isn't a lie. But you were wrong about the last phase. We will never forget, and that's fine."

His words made me pull out of his grasp. "It's not. How will we ever get over our breakups and the hurt and - "

"Just shut up and listen," he insisted, "Maybe, the final step of the breakup formula isn't to forget, but to forgive. Just as Eloise did with Parker the other day. Because some wounds never completely heal, some things you will never forget. But they make you stronger and braver, and give you the courage to fall in love all over again in the future."

I froze.

"I know what you're thinking," Joey continued, "Fiona's perfect and gorgeous. She can sweep any guy off his feet. We had a lot in common, we got along well together, and we looked good together."

My forehead creased in a frown, not knowing where he was going with this.

"But she broke me. And you're the one who put me back together," he added, before I could speak. "I knew you were the one I spoke to that night. I was drunk, but I found out the morning after."

I recalled how, the morning after the phone call, he'd entered the diner with a sudden resolve to get over Fiona once and for all. The nature of the phone call was odd, for while it had crushed me, it had given him hope.

"So you're not mad that I lied?" I clarified.

"Of course not. You're the one who helped me get back on my feet," he said. "So, what I meant to say was - thank you."

"You're welcome," I replied, but Joey frowned.

"This is the part where you profess your undying love for me. Now it's all ruined."

My lips quirked up in a wry smile. "You honestly think we're ready for that?"

"No, not at all," he returned, the expression on his face serious now, not a trace of teasing in his eyes. "But someday, maybe. Whether between us. Or with other people," he added thoughtfully.

I nodded. Because I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, and neither was he. We still had the last phase of the breakup formula to complete. Not the forgetting, but the forgiving.

The thought of that was satisfying, and I paused in my steps for awhile. Someday, we were going to get over it. He was going to think of Fiona, I was going to think of Lucas, and we were both going to feel completely at peace, with ourselves and with the past.

Joey and I weren't going to be dating anytime soon or falling head over heels in love for each other. Love, for the time being, was out of the equation, the breakup formula simply had no room for that. But someday, maybe someday, it was going to happen - whether with us, or with other people.

Someday, definitely.

"Come on, Glitter," I heard Joey call, his voice breaking me out of my little reverie.

He was a short distance ahead of me, and he'd turned around to wait up. His lips were pulled up into his signature grin, and the mischief in his voice made me entirely prepared for what he was about to say next.

"Your sex-god awaits."

His ridiculous statement made me laugh, and I slowly picked up my pace. His eyes were bright, his hair tousled in the afternoon wind. And I wished, at that moment, that my eyes could capture images. I'd blink, and click, they'd capture them like a camera would and store them in my memory. For the moment was beautiful and I wanted to remember it forever.

Then again, there were many more moments to come.

And I could hardly wait.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ F I N ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬