When we reached my house, I led Cam back to the baby's room, saying, "Rob slept on a cot in here while he stayed with me. You can sleep there for now—it's not the most comfortable bed, but it's not the worst either. I hope you won't mind the girliness of the room."

Cam shook his head. "I don't mind. I mean, it's not like I only like 'manly' flowers, right? Pink's just a color."

I gave him a rueful smile. "Honestly, I hadn't planned to decorate her room with pink at all. I kind of favored a nice sunny yellow, like sunflowers or moondrop flowers. But then Rose gave me a stack of little pink blankets she'd made, and she persuaded Eileen to paint the walls a bright rosy pink, too, though I had her repaint it a softer shade as soon as I saw it."

He gave a snort of laughter. "Yeah, Rose does like things traditional. Pink for girls, blue for boys—that's her style. But of course, you don't have to do a lot of pink if you don't want to—use it as an accent color. Or not at all—just because you have some pink blankets doesn't mean that you have to make her room pink."

"I suppose so." I stepped back out of the room, Cam following, and then turned to look at him with a serious expression. "Are you quite sure you're okay with this, uhh... arrangement? I mean, what about... what about when Mikhail comes back? If he comes over... will you be able to cope with that?"

He turned pale and flinched. "I... I hadn't thought about that," he admitted. Then he looked me straight in the face, and although he made no effort to hide the pain in his eyes, he said, "I offered to stay to help you, Alice. Not to try to insinuate myself back into your life or to keep tabs on you or interfere. I know that helping you now won't make up for the past, but that isn't why I'm doing it, anyway. I... I really just want to help you as much as I can. I feel responsible for the mess we're in, and I want to at least try to make things better. I don't mean that I'll enjoy being here while you have Mikhail over, let alone if he... if he stays the night. I... I think I'll have to return to Howard's those nights. But I'll still do whatever I can to help you."

I sighed and rubbed my aching back a little, saying, "Well, you probably don't have anything to worry about anyway. He's gone most of the time lately, preparing for his trip. And when he is in town, he won't stay here with me. He says he doesn't feel it would be right for him to do so while you and I are going through counseling, that he'd feel like an interloper. So I haven't seen much of him since he announced his upcoming tour, and we certainly haven't done anything more than just an occasional kiss since that one night." Again I sighed.

Cam looked surprised. "Really? He said that? I... I wouldn't have expected anything like that from him."

I looked at him sharply, scowling a little. "You know, he's really behaved very decently through all of this. He even told me all about how you rode out to try to find me, despite the severity of your injuries and the blizzard and everything. He made sure I knew just how upset you were, too, when you saw me unconscious. I swear it almost seems like he's trying to get us back together. You'd think he'd be happy that we're separated...." I shrugged helplessly. Then watching him thoughtfully, I asked, "And what about you? You and that... girl, I mean. Are you...?"

Cam stared blankly for a moment, then flushed red and looked away. "No," he replied emphatically. "I'll be honest, even if you'd rather not hear it from me now. I'm just not interested in anyone but you. I don't know what the hell I... why I.... Anyway, no. Not that she hasn't tried—Laney told me that she came around a number of times looking for me while I was recovering in the clinic."

"And... has she found you yet, then? I really don't want some strange girl showing up on my doorstep, making a scene...."

"Yeah, she finally did. In fact, you probably saw her. She was that girl I was arguing with before you showed up to give me the time for our first appointment."

"That was her? That tiny, skinny, blonde thing with the ridiculous boots and the skin tight pants?" I asked, incredulously. "She looked like she was all hair and high heels! Well, you certainly couldn't have picked anyone much more different from me."

He looked miserable, saying, "I know. Maybe that's why.... Anyway, I was trying to get it through her head that I have no interest in her whatsoever and that I didn't want to see her again—ever. I had to get kind of rude to convince her to bug off. She definitely isn't a bright one."

An uncomfortable silence fell between us, then Cam straightened up, saying, "So... now I'm here, what can I do, I mean besides just being around in case there's an emergency or something? What would help you the most? Obviously I wouldn't be good at the farm work, but I'm still willing to try if it's too much for you. I'm not a very good cook, as you know, but I'm still willing to try. Just... don't get mad if I kind of burn things sometimes. I can clean, though, so maybe I can take that over for you?"

I thought as I led the way back to the living room and sat tiredly on the sofa, rubbing my protruding belly absentmindedly. "Yeah, that would be a big help, actually. Cleaning is getting harder for me to do lately. I can handle most of the cooking, though I might ask you to take something out of the oven or give something a stir for me now and then, if I need to be off my feet for a while. And I wouldn't expect you to help with my farm work... unless you'd like to use some of my fields yourself, that is? I won't be growing anything here in Bluebell for the time being, so you're welcome to plant flowers for your shop if you like, though you'll have to tend those yourself.

"Rob asked if I wanted him to come back and stay, but he already missed a semester because of me, so I don't want to take up any more of his time. But the Owens offered to help with my animals when I reach the point where I can't do it myself, and Nori said she'd tend to my fields in Konohana when that gets to be too much for me. Ying and Rahi promised to help Nori with the watering, too. I won't be raising any crops to speak of until after the baby comes, so there's mostly just the fruit trees and tea shrubs to tend. Georgia said she'd be happy to take Nimbus and keep her with their horses when I can't ride anymore—which will be pretty soon, given how hard it is to even just mount a horse these days. I know she'll take good care of her and be sure she gets enough exercise. So I think I'm as prepared as I can be, at least with respect to my farms.

"I do need to get some furniture, though, and I should do that soon—before I get so huge I can hardly walk. I'm hoping I can get what I need through Eileen, but if not, I'll have to get into the city to shop for furniture. I'm sure I'll need your help with that, if you're willing. And I'll need help arranging it once I have it—that will be more than I can safely move right now."

"Sure," Cam said, sitting next to me on the sofa, somewhat hesitantly. "I can help with those things. When... when do you want to do all that?"

"I think I'll go over to Eileen's after dinner. If she can't help me, I'll want to go as soon as I can arrange it, on one of your days off, of course. I swear I'm getting visibly larger each day—if I put it off much longer, I won't be able to do it at all until after the baby comes... which is leaving it a bit late."

He nodded and stood up. "Why don't I cook tonight? You look tired. Or if you don't trust my cooking—and I can't really blame you if you don't—maybe... I could buy you dinner at Howard's? Eileen's house is practically next door, so you could stop by either before or after, whichever you like."

I considered that—it certainly sounded nice, and I was feeling tired. So far, these counseling sessions had been pretty exhausting. "Sure, that actually sounds really nice. Only I'll buy." Cam started to protest, but I cut him short. "Listen, Cam, I know that you were in the clinic for a while, recovering from all those fights you got into after my accident. That means that besides losing a lot of income due to not working, you also have a lot of medical bills to pay. I'm doing okay financially—I have a pretty decent savings account, if you recall, and my farms have been doing well even though I didn't plant any crops this spring. My orchards and tea crop alone bring in a nice, steady income—not to mention the produce from my livestock and hens. So I'm doing all right. Certainly well enough to afford to buy us both dinner."

I suggested that we stop at Eileen's before dinner, and then afterwards he could pick up anything he wanted to bring with him from his room while we were there. It turned out Eileen didn't have a means by which to order furniture for me, and while she was able to build some basic furnishings, it just wasn't her forte. She really could only make solid wooden furniture, such as tables and basic bed frames—nothing upholstered or too elaborate in design. She did say she could order some furniture for me, though, if I wanted, and gave me a few catalogs to peruse. I thanked her and we headed over to the café.

It turned out that our earlier discussion on who would pay for dinner was moot—Howard was so delighted that we were having dinner together that he told us it was all on the house. I'm pretty certain that nothing and nobody could have persuaded him that we weren't getting back together right then and there, especially after we admitted Cam would be moving back to my house to help out for a while.

After dinner, I chatted with Laney, explaining to her what the real situation was, while Cam packed some clothing and a few sundry items. Then we returned to my house, and worn out as I was, I went to bed early, falling asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

That night I had a dream. I dreamed that I was racked with contractions that felt as though they were crushing the life from me. I was on the very top of the mountain, with Cam standing just to the west of me and Mikhail just to the east. As I curled up in a ball of searing pain, the two men hurled insults at each other over me until finally they both turned their backs on one another and on me and stormed away—Cam towards Bluebell, and Mikhail towards Konohana—leaving me alone in my agony. I felt as though I was being torn in two, and when I saw a pool of blood expanding all around me, I was petrified with fear. Then everything vanished in a blinding white light, and I heard a beautiful voice that I somehow knew was the Harvest Goddess, calling to me. Then she appeared, radiant in her flowing green robes, with ripe, golden grain woven into her elaborately braided green hair. She held out a slender white hand to me, and as I reached out to her, all went black. The next thing I knew, I was flying—or maybe soaring would better describe it—high above a cemetery. I saw two fresh graves, side by side, below me—a larger one and a tiny one. Lying on top of the fresh brown earth of the larger grave were masses of red dots and some scattered white papers. I floated down for a closer look, and I saw that the grave was adorned with roses and sonatas—and on the newly carved marker at the head of the grave was my name.

I woke up screaming, and within seconds Cam tore into my room in a panic. "Alice, are you okay?! What is it? What's wrong?" he panted, breathless from shock and haste. I struggled to sit up, crying so hard I was gasping for air. He sat next to me and put his arms around me, holding me close as I described my nightmare to him, still sobbing and shaking from the last remnants of shock and terror. It was an indescribable relief to find not only was it just a dream, but to feel the warmth of another human being wrapped around me. He just sat and held me, rocking me gently as he murmured soothing words to comfort me. After a while, my sobbing and shaking both quieted, and soon I fell asleep, still cradled in his arms.