All in all, I was in the clinic for a little more than two months. My bleeding got worse, and when I started cramping, I was terrified that all was lost. But thank goodness, the cramping stopped and gradually the bleeding slowed and finally ceased all together. It was easily the most harrowing ordeal I'd ever been through—far more frightening even than my experiences with Henry or Luke or Ash or even Ruby's death. When Dr. Ayame told me that the latest images showed that the baby—indeed a girl, as I'd somehow known all along—was in fine health, I wept for sheer joy and relief. She also confirmed that I should prepare for her arrival around the end of summer. She kept me in the clinic a couple of weeks after confirming everything was fine, wanting to keep me on bed rest just a little longer as a precaution. For once, I didn't argue about it—I'd already come too close to losing my daughter once already, and I wasn't about to take that risk again.

Because my stay ended up being so lengthy, my brother, Rob, again came to help out, taking an emergency leave from his university course to do so. He opted to stay in Bluebell to be near my livestock, but he spent most of his free time in Konohana, hanging out with Kana. They were the best of friends long before I was discharged.

When Rob learned about what had been going on with Cam, he was positively livid. Although normally a quiet, level-headed guy, I heard that he'd given him a pounding for acting the way he had. In fact, Cam had a really bad few days after his initial release from the clinic. In addition to his fight with Mikhail—which resulted in a broken arm, cracked ribs, and numerous bruises and lacerations—and the beating Rob gave him, it seemed that Ash and Kana had also taken it upon themselves to drive home to him that everyone had had enough of the way he'd been treating me. It also came to light that the only time he fought back or defended himself at all was that first fight with Mikhail; he seemed to just accept the others as his just deserts.

Because of these fights, Cam spent nearly as long in the clinic as I did, being discharged for the final time only two weeks before me. He didn't force his way into my room again after that first time, though he did ask to see me a few times—requests that I denied. I just didn't feel up to dealing with him on top of everything else right then. However, I did allow Dr. Ayame to tell him that the baby was going to be okay before he finally left the clinic for the last time.

On the other hand, Mikhail came to visit often—practically every day. He kept me up to date on village news; it was from him that I learned of Cam's fights. He also filled me in a little more about what had happened after I left and before I awoke. I learned that while he'd beaten Cam pretty soundly, Cam had also gotten in a few solid hits—he, too, had a cracked rib, his lip was split, and he had bruises on his stomach and shoulder. In addition he described how Cam, thrown into a sudden panic after Nimbus returned without me, had ridden out to search for me, despite his broken ribs and arm. I admit I was impressed—even an experienced horseman would not have found it easy to ride under those conditions, especially with a blizzard rapidly approaching. I was also curious why Mikhail told me all that—it almost felt as though he was intentionally putting in a good word for him, which struck me as odd.

I made our first counseling appointment with Dr. Ayame for three weeks after I left the clinic. I also scheduled a follow-up appointment as well as a couple of prenatal appointments, one of which would be immediately before the counseling session. Rob was in the front room when I left, waiting to walk me back to my house and helped me get settled in. While I was recovering, I'd asked Rob to arrange for Eileen to expand my house. With a baby on the way, I knew I'd need more room. She'd finished the work just two days ago, and he showed me around my new additions. Before, I'd had just one large, open space, with the tiny, shabby old bathroom the only separate room. She'd expanded and renovated my bathroom and added on a separate living room with a cozy fireplace, as well as adding two bedrooms. With help from Kana, Rob had moved my bedroom furniture into the larger of the bedrooms, and my little sofa and table into the living room. I thought to myself that I'd need to get new furniture soon—before the baby was born, anyway.

In the meantime, Rob had borrowed a folding cot and was camped out in the second bedroom, so he would be nearby in case I needed help. He'd agreed to stay for another week or two, and if the farm work proved too much for me, then he would either stay on until after the baby was born or until I could make other arrangements. For the time being, though, he urged me to take it easy and rest. It was already early spring, so I made the difficult decision to let my fields lie fallow for the time being. That just left my orchards and my livestock to care for—a much more manageable workload.

The first thing I did was to take a long shower in my beautiful new bathroom. Eileen had done a wonderful job, and I felt much better afterwards. Those sickbed sponge baths just really hadn't done it for me, and it was heavenly to just stand and let the warm water rain down on me, washing away the grime and the aches, and perhaps even a little of the tension. After I dressed, I decided I had better head into town to let Cam know when our first appointment would be. I still felt a little bit queasy at the thought of seeing him, but not nearly as much so as when I first woke up after my accident. Rob offered to accompany me, and I considered taking him up on it—but in the end, I decided to go alone. This was between the two of us, after all, and from the beginning, I'd tried to keep from dragging others into our mess as much as possible.

I walked into town, taking it slow and stopping to visit the townsfolk along the way. Everyone was glad to see me up and about, and it took longer than I expected before at last I was approaching Cam's stall. He was still open at that hour, though it wasn't long before closing.

He had a customer—some tourist, a tiny bleached blonde that seemed to be having a hard time making a decision—so I sat down on one of the benches by the statue in the center of the plaza and waited for her to leave. As she chattered and dithered, Cam seemed to get annoyed and then angry with her, and she left in a huff without making a purchase. I shrugged to myself and walked over. He seemed surprised—even a little uncomfortable—when he saw me. Apparently he'd been too absorbed with his customer to notice me. I handed him the slip of paper with the time and date printed on it. "Here, this is the first of our four required counseling sessions. The doctor wanted me to hold off for a few weeks, to give me time to settle back into my routine, so I don't get too stressed out. She's worried since I already had such a close call, so she's being extra careful. We can make the next appointment later."

I turned away and started to head back to my house. "Wait...." he said, grabbing my arm. I stopped and turned to look at him, then stared at his hand until he removed it. "I... just wanted to ask how you're feeling. You know, if... if you're all recovered from your fall now?"

I shrugged. "I'm still easily tired. It's hard to say right now how much is from the accident and how much is from the baby," I said, rubbing my hand over the firm roundness of my rapidly growing belly. "My brother's going to hang around for a while to be sure I'm okay before he returns home, so I think I'll be fine. You know I always manage somehow." I started to turn away, and again he reached out a hand to me, only just lightly touching my arm this time instead of grasping it.

"Alice, I... what I really wanted to say... I wanted to say that I'm glad that she's okay. The baby, I mean. I... I was really worried. Thanks for letting me know."

I stared at him for a moment, then looked away and nodded. I turned and slowly made my way back home, where Rob was waiting anxiously for me to return.

My follow up appointment with Dr. Ayame was four days later, and she gave me a careful once-over. "No more bleeding? Any cramping or unusual pains?" she asked as she checked my vital signs. I shook my head, and she patted my shoulder and smiled. "Good. Be sure to let me know right away if you start again, or if anything seems wrong or just 'off' to you, okay, kiddo?"

I smiled as I said, "Never fear! Cam might have rejected her, but I want her enough for both of us."

"Hmm," she murmured, "Yes, well, keep up the good work, and I'll see you in what—a week? For your next prenatal."

Over the next couple of weeks, I regained some of the strength I'd lost due to the accident and all the bed rest that followed. By the time my brother was ready to return home, I was able to care for my animals all by myself, if I took it easy and didn't try to rush myself. As my baby grew larger, I found myself getting short of breath more and more often, for one thing, and I even had a few dizzy spells.

I mentioned that to her at my next prenatal appointment, right before the first counseling session. "It's normal, kiddo," she assured me as she listened to my heart and lungs. "It'll pass in time as your body adjusts to the increasing demands of your little one, but for now, just try to be cautious. You know, don't stand up too quickly, don't skip meals, drink plenty of fluids—common sense stuff, really. If you feel like you're going to faint, sit right down and tuck your head between your knees. That usually does the trick. And if you do actually faint, get your tush right in here so I can have a look at you."

She made a few notes in my chart, then looked up at me with a smile. "I believe I hear Cam out front now, so why don't you go on into my office, and I'll bring him along. Then we can get this session started." I slid awkwardly off the exam table and reached for my jacket. "And Alice..." she added as I started out the door, "do try to keep an open mind. That's what these counseling sessions are all about, after all. To try to find the underlying causes of the problems in your marriage. Ideally, to mend the rift between you, as well, but even if that doesn't happen, you both will still benefit from discovering what went wrong and why."

"I know what went wrong," I said, bitterly. "My husband didn't trust me, and now I don't trust him."

"That's precisely the kind of attitude I want you to try to put aside, kiddo. Think of that as the symptom of the disease, not the disease itself. Okay?"

I paused for a moment, considering her words. I hadn't really looked at it like that before. I slowly nodded. "Yes, all right. I'll try. I can't see us 'mending the rift', as you put it, but I would really like to know why he did what he did—why things went so bad so quickly."

"Then let's get going. I'll bring Cam along in just a minute."

I went into her office and sat in one of the two chairs that faced her desk. I felt nervous—very nervous, in fact. My heart was racing and I felt fidgety and anxious and even a little queasy as I sat waiting. Several minutes later, the door opened and Cam walked in, followed by Dr. Ayame. As he sat in the other chair and nodded to me, I noticed that he looked as nervous as I felt, and somehow that made me feel just a little bit better.

Dr. Ayame sat down at her desk, and propping her elbows on the desktop, she looked back and forth between the two of us. "Well. Shall we get started? First, I'd like to remind you both that you are required to attend a minimum of four hour-long sessions of counseling from the same counselor prior to filing your petition for the dissolution of your marriage. You may, of course, attend more than that—as many as you believe will help you. But not less than four hours.

"The purpose of these sessions is to help you identify the difficulties in your marriage that are leading you to consider divorce, and to help you to determine and understand the underlying causes of those problems. Of course, there is only so much you can do in four hours. For some, that's enough; for others, years of counseling would barely even scratch the surface. Hopefully you two are in the former category. If not, I urge you to continue after you've met the requirement, for your own sakes.

"Now, it seems to me that on the face of it, everything started with the discovery that you two were expecting a baby. Isn't that right? I remember Cam's reaction was... a bit extreme, and Alice's response was also, perhaps, a bit extreme."

I opened my mouth to protest, but she raised her hand to silence me. "Just hold onto that thought, Alice. I'd like to start off with Cam, since his words were the match that lit the fuse. Tell us, please, why you said those things to your wife—what you were thinking at the time."

Cam looked down at the floor. "I... I wasn't thinking. I just... panicked, I guess. I don't know why I said those things. At the time, I even kind of half believed them. But now.... Now, even if they were true, I don't care anymore. I mean... it seems unimportant now, when compared to... to other things."

"Such as?" the doctor said.

"Such as... such as when she nearly died. And when she almost lost the baby. All that really put things into perspective."

"And do you still believe what you said at that time? That she'd deceived you, that you were even skeptical of the baby's paternity? And what motivated you to say that to her—why was that your knee-jerk reaction to the news? Had she given you cause to doubt her?"

Cam slowly shook his head. "I... I don't know. I mean, she'd never given me any reason to doubt her before that I know of... but I've never heard of a virgin who didn't bleed and hurt the first time, or of a woman getting sick that early in the pregnancy, or for that matter, getting pregnant so fast."

She leaned back and looked at him with not a little exasperation. "Cam, you do realize that your experience isn't really broad enough for you to be drawing such cut and dried conclusions, don't you? No, I see you don't." She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Okay, first of all, you need to realize that every woman is different. Many women don't bleed when they lose their virginity, and not all of them feel pain, either. In fact, if the man is doing his part correctly, he should be able to greatly minimize, if not outright eliminate, any pain the woman might feel her first time. And bleeding is not nearly as common as is widely believed. There are any of a number of reasons a woman might not bleed—the size and shape of her hymen, or for that matter, whether or not it's still intact. Alice has been riding horses most of her life; occasionally the hymen can break during vigorous physical activity as well as for other legitimate, non-sexual reasons.

"In addition, pain and even bleeding can be faked, if a woman is sufficiently motivated to play the part of a virgin. How tight she felt that first time is a better indicator. If she felt like a virgin to you, there's a high probability that she was; if she'd had intercourse with Mikhail anytime within the previous few weeks, she likely would still have been stretched out from her recent sexual activity. So which was it?"

Cam looked surprised. "I... I guess I hadn't thought of it like that. When you put it that way, then yeah. I guess she probably was. But...."

"No, no buts. Sooner or later, you need to decide which you trust more: your limited experience, or Alice's word. Now, if you decide that you do believe she was telling you the truth, then that also settles the question of whose baby she's carrying. If not, then, quite honestly, most likely nothing short of a paternity test will be able to clear that up to your satisfaction. I can tell you, though, that while not extremely common, it's certainly possible for a woman to get pregnant any time after intercourse—even her very first time. All it takes is semen and an ova—biology isn't going to cut you any slack your first time or any time that conditions are right.

"In addition, each pregnancy is different, even for the same woman. Some women get morning sickness starting almost immediately, while others never get it at all. If she did get pregnant on or shortly after your wedding night, then the day I saw her and determined she was pregnant was certainly within a reasonable time frame for the onset of morning sickness. A little earlier than average perhaps, but still quite possible.

"However, I think that what's important here is your reaction, Cam. I'd like to think that in similar circumstances, most men would, at most, be a little surprised. They wouldn't immediately jump to the conclusion that their wives were liars and cheats... unless they had a reason to think so. So what's yours?"

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and glanced at me, then quickly looked away again. "Well... I guess it goes back to when I first asked her to marry me. I thought... I thought she had made up her mind, so I was pretty wounded when she said no, she hadn't. And then when she said she was going to go visit Mikhail for a week—to make sure, she said—I didn't know what to think. I... I felt like it was Nadia and Armand all over again."

"Who?" Dr. Ayame asked.

Cam summarized the story of his first real love—about how they'd met when her well-to-do family arrived to spend a summer in Bluebell, fallen in love, even become engaged, just for her to throw him over for a wealthy man, even telling him that she'd never been serious about him and only considered him to be a summer diversion. The doctor nodded and he continued. "Anyway, so I felt a lot like that while she was gone. I half expected... no, more than half—almost entirely expected that she'd come back engaged to him. And when she admitted that they'd fooled around more than anything she and I had ever done... and that once when she'd had too much wine, she even tried to persuade him to sleep with her.... I guess that just kept preying on me, in the back of my mind."

"And why would you doubt her word? Had she been less than honest before?"

"No! No, not at all, at least as far as I know. But I knew what Mikhail could be like—we'd had a number of run-ins over the past year. I didn't think I'd find it easy to refrain from taking her up on her offer, and I felt sure that Mikhail had much less self-control than me, so...."

"That doesn't really get to the root of the problem, Cam. Presumably if things had gone farther, she'd have told you—even if it was hard for her to do so—because she was being honest with you. Don't you agree? So why do you think she wouldn't have been honest? Is it because you doubted her veracity all along? Or was there some other reason?"

Cam looked taken aback as he sat and thought. "I... I guess I don't know. I mean, no—I had no reason to doubt her before...."

"Then think about it. If you had no real reason to believe she was lying based on your past experiences with her, then why would you think so?"

There was a long pause, then Cam slowly said, "I... I suppose because all that time, I'd been thinking that the situation was like the one with Nadia, so I was expecting her to pick Mikhail over me. So... so I guess... maybe my mind skewed things to fit that idea?"

Dr. Ayame nodded. "Now we're getting somewhere. So you were essentially reliving your experience with Nadia and Armand, but putting Alice and Mikhail in their places. Do you see the problem with that, Cam?"

He nodded, turning red as he looked back to the floor. "Yeah, now that you've pointed it out to me. Alice isn't Nadia, and, well, although I didn't know Armand, he still isn't Mikhail."

I looked at him, stung by his revelation. "Cam, when you told me about Nadia, you said at that time that I was fundamentally different from her. Those were your exact words, I believe—'fundamentally different'. So why... why would you still lump me in with women like her, even after getting to know me as well as you did?"

He buried his face in his hands and remained silent for a long while. When at last he raised his head, there were tears in his eyes. "Because... because even if you aren't her, I'm still me—and I kept feeling like Mikhail was superior to me in every way, even having a prior claim to your affection. And so... I'd spent most of that year waiting... not so much for you to make up your mind, as for the other shoe to drop."

I sat back and looked at him, astonished. Cam had always seemed so calm, so quietly confident, so... self-assured. It never once crossed my mind that somewhere inside, he might be torn up by doubts and fears that he couldn't or wouldn't express.

Dr. Ayame glanced at her clock and stood up. "Well, kids, I think this was a good start. Your time's up, so let's get another appointment scheduled, okay? Follow me."

I gaped at her—had it really been an hour? A furtive look at my wristwatch showed that it had indeed been an hour, and in fact, slightly more than. Cam stood and tentatively held out his hand to help me up, and we followed her out to the front desk. "I can come pretty much any time," I said as Hiro opened the appointment book.

Dr. Ayame looked over Hiro's shoulder at her calendar. "Well, kiddo, one of my requirements is that you have a week or two between sessions. Gives you time to think over what you both said and thought and to prepare for the next appointment. But it looks like I'm booked up for a while, anyway."

"It looks like three weeks from next Saturday is the first opening she has for a counseling appointment," Hiro said as he flipped the pages of the book. "Will that work for you?"

"It's fine for me, what about you? Same time of day?" I said, turning to Cam.

He silently nodded, and Hiro looked again at the book. "She has an appointment already at 1:00 that afternoon and another at 2:00... in fact, the only time she has an hour-long slot available is right at the end of the day, at 5:00. Will that do?" We agreed, and he wrote us in for that time and date. It meant waiting almost a month, but at least we'd have plenty of time for reflection.

Cam held the door for me as we left the clinic in silence, and to my surprise, Mikhail was waiting outside for me. He and Cam scowled at each other, but Cam quickly looked away. "Well, if you'll excuse me...." he said, starting to walk quickly away.

"Hold on, Cam. I suppose this also concerns you, in a manner of speaking." He turned and looked at me, reaching out and brushing a gentle fingertip along my cheekbone. I could feel Cam seething next to me, but I just ignored him. "Well, my dear Alice, I need to let you know that I won't be around for much of the next several weeks." I must have looked as distressed as I felt, because he continued quickly. "You know I usually spend my summers in Port Crescent. But this summer I and several of my musical friends have been offered the chance to tour overseas. So I'm afraid I must spend a certain amount of time making my preparations for the trip, as well as in rehearsals. We'll be leaving the first day of summer."

"And... when will you return?" I said, fighting back tears.

"I should return early in the fall, though I don't yet know precisely when. So," he said, straightening up and looking straight at Cam. "I'd hoped to be here to help Alice when her child is born, as well as to support her in the meantime. As I cannot, I hope that you, as the father of her child, will step up and lend her a hand—if she is willing to accept your help, that is."

Cam looked steadily at him, and replied in a quiet voice, "I've burned many bridges in my life, Mikhail. So far, the only one I regret, and will rebuild if given the opportunity, is the bridge that joined me to Alice. I may not have been good for much so far, but if she will allow me, I'll gladly give her as much help and support as I'm able."

Mikhail stared appraisingly at him for several long moments, then nodded curtly. "Then, as I'm leaving tonight for a few days, I bid you adieu for a little while." He leaned over and kissed me, then turned back towards the town hall as I watched him go, tears blurring my vision, already feeling a keen ache at his departure. Cam gently laid a hand on my shoulder, as though to comfort me, and this time I didn't shrink away from his touch.