Cam gladly accepted my invitation to dinner for his birthday, but when I suggested he come over around seven, he looked a little crestfallen.

"Is anything wrong?" I asked, looking up at him anxiously.

"No... it's just...." He hesitated and looked away.

"Just what?"

"It's just that I've missed you so much, and you've just gotten home, and now... you're already leaving again."

I smiled up at him and said, "I'm only going to my house, Cam, not some distant land."

"I know, but...."

"Well, why don't you come over now? It won't be very exciting, I'm afraid. I'll be checking my farm, unpacking, tidying house, cooking... that sort of thing. But if you don't mind being bored out of your skull...."

"Not if I'm with you, I won't be," he replied, grabbing my hand and squeezing it hard.

We returned to my farm, where I checked on my animals first, then my fields. My animals all looked healthy and content, and my alpaca and dogs were particularly happy to see me. My dogs ran around like they'd gone mad with joy, and my alpaca leaped and pranced happily from one end of the pasture to the other and back again. The fields were tilled and ready for me to plant my fall crops, just as they should be that time of the year, and my orchard was well-tended, with apples, grapes, and the fall crop of tea leaves all nearing harvest. It looked like Rob had done a good job—not that I'd expected otherwise.

After my brief tour was completed, we went inside. Cam offered to make tea while I started to unpack, and I gladly accepted. I unpacked and sorted my clothes, thinking that I absolutely had to do laundry the next day, no matter what the weather—if it rained, I'd just have to hang everything out on the porch to dry.

When I came to my gold evening gown, which had been shoved into a suitcase along with the stockings and silk thong, I blushed at the memory of last night. Cam noticed me turning red as I hesitated with the dress in my hands, and after a moment, he said, "So... how was your vacation?"

Fighting the deeper red that I could feel creeping into my cheeks and failing, I finally said, "It was... it was nice. To be honest, Cam, I spent most of my time with Mikhail. But let's save that conversation for later, okay?"

He looked away and nodded, somewhat tersely. I set the dress down and went over to him, putting my arms around him and pressing my cheek against his chest. "Hey, I'm here with you now, right? I really just want to enjoy your company." I pulled him down to give him a kiss, whispering, "I missed you, too, very much." He relaxed then, and smiled as he returned my kiss.

After I finished unpacking my clothes and things, I took out the suitcase of souvenirs. Cam whistled when he saw how many there were, and I laughed. "I have something here for everyone in both towns as well as my family, so I've got a lot of wrapping to do! I wrapped yours before I left, though, so it would be all ready to give to you." I dug through until I found his, then handed them over to him.

He unwrapped the two packages, exclaiming in delight at the selection of unusual flower seeds. I pulled him over to the sofa, and we looked through the book together. I pointed out the places in it that I'd visited, and described some of the details that the book left out. I had tucked in photographs of some of the gardens, too, and even some pressed flowers from blooms I'd been given permission to pick at a few of the gardens.

I left him poring over his book and the photographs and went to start dinner. Rob had shopped for me earlier that day, so that I wouldn't have to try to squeeze that in, too. Cam's favorite food was tom yum goong, so I had decided to make him that, followed by a salad and a spicy curry with rice. We had cold beer with the curry, and since he hated sweets, I decided I'd just prepare peaches and cream instead of a cake.

When the meal was over, we sat on the sofa, and he told me about what he'd been doing with himself while I was gone—which wasn't much, it seemed. It sounded as though Kana had been right about him feeling lost and lonely while I was gone. Thinking about him missing me so much made my heart ache, and I reached up and pulled his face to mine and kissed him. He put his arms around me and held me tightly, pulling me onto his lap and grasping my thigh and the small of my back tightly.

A few minutes into our kiss, he pulled back and gave me a peculiar look. "Something... something's different. Your kiss—it's different in some way."

I looked at him in surprise. "Whatever do you mean? Different how?"

He looked at me, puzzled. "I'm not really sure. More... more confident? More... intense,maybe?"

"No idea," I said, shaking my head. "Maybe it's just from missing each other?"

"Yeah... maybe." He cleared his throat and looked away. "So, uh... you were going to tell me about your vacation."

I sighed; I'd been enjoying the kiss so much, I hated to stop. "Well... like I said, I spent most of it with Mikhail. But I assume you guessed as much, since that was kind of the point."

"Then... are you any closer to making a decision?"

"Yes. But before I answer, there's a question I want to ask you, and also some things I need to tell you. Then I'll give you my decision." He nodded and looked at me.

I slid off his lap and sat with my back against the arm of the sofa so that I could look him in the face, my legs across his lap. "I... I learned some things about Mikhail that, well, upset me at first. And that started me wondering.... So I wanted to ask you, are... are you... well, are you a virgin?"

His eyes opened wide in surprise, and I felt myself blushing. "That... that's not at all what I was expecting," he said.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to—"

"No, it's okay. It's a fair question if we're considering marriage. And probably something I should have brought up myself some time ago. Anyway, to answer your question... no. No, I'm not."

I nodded, looking away. "Was... was it...?"

"Nadia? No. She was far too cagey for anything like that. No, my first time was due to Ash. After Nadia dumped, I was depressed and miserable for a long time. So Ash got it in his head that I needed a 'real woman' to help me get over her. He had a cousin who lived in a ways off in another town, and he persuaded me to go along to visit him for a few days. They planned to have a big party, get me smashed, and then hook me up with some girl or another."

"A-and did they?" He nodded, and I said, in a small voice, "Was that the only time?"

"Do you mean with her, or do you mean was she the only one? Though the answer is no either way." He sighed, and went on. "I honestly don't know how many times we did it that night—I was drunk, you know, so it's all a bit of a haze. I remember at least three times, but I can't swear that was all."

"Three...?" I said, a little faintly. I took a minute to let that sink in, then said, "And there were others besides her?"

He sighed again, rubbing his forehead. "Yeah... well, once I'd had a taste of it, I wanted more. Not all the time or anything, but now and then, I'd get the urge. Then I'd usually find some cute young tourist to hook up with, sleep with her a couple or few times, then that was it. Not a lot, like I said, but there were a few."

"How many is 'a few'?"

"Hmmm... maybe a few a year, and that was starting when I was nineteen, so...." He paused for a moment, thinking.

I felt as though I was slowly suffocating as I asked, "How long... how long did you keep that up? Were you still...?"

He glanced over at me, confused. "Was I still what?" Then it dawned on him what I had been unable to ask. "Oh, you mean, have I slept with anyone since we met?" I nodded. "Well... yes. Once, right after you moved here. Partly because I was still scared and in denial at finding myself falling in love with you. But that was before we started to date at all—I haven't so much as looked at another girl since I asked you out that first time, I swear."

"I... I see. And... when were you planning to tell me all this?" I couldn't keep the hurt from my voice.

"I know, I should have told you a lot sooner, and I'm sorry that I didn't. You've always been honest with me. It wasn't my intent to deceive you. I guess I got so caught up in the whole rivalry thing that it just slipped my mind. Can you forgive me?"

"A few girls a year for five years, plus the first girl... that's.... You—you've been with maybe fifteen women, maybe even more?"

He thought for a moment. "I guess? I didn't think it'd been quite that many. But near that, at least."

I drew my legs up and hugged them, leaning my forehead on my knees as I thought about what he'd said. Of course, I didn't know how many Mikhail had been with, though it wouldn't surprise me if he'd been with even more. But still... was I the only virgin in the entire region?

"Alice?" Cam broke into my reflections, placing a hand lightly on my head and gently stroking my hair. "Are you okay? Are you... are you angry?"

I shook my head. "No... not angry. I'm a little... I guess surprised. Shocked even, maybe. I had no idea.... And now I'm wondering if there was any point at all in insisting on waiting until I'm married... because it sure seems like no one else in the world is. I wonder if I've just been an idiot, and missing out on something all this time...." I felt a few tears spill out and trickle slowly down my cheek and onto my knee, but I didn't bother to wipe them away.

He scooted closer to me, pulling me across his lap again. "I'm so sorry, Alice. It was unfair of me to keep that from you. Does... does that change how you feel about me?"

I rubbed my wrist across my eyes and shook my head. "No... no, it's not that. I'm just feeling like everything I've been through has been a wasted effort."

"Of course it hasn't. Everything you do—everything you've ever done—is part of who you are now. Changing that would change you—and I love you just exactly as you are."

I gave him a faint smile and rested my chin on my knees. "Well, anyway, that was my question—and I guess I got my answer."

He nodded, then said, "You said you had something you wanted to tell me. It's... it's something to do with Mikhail, isn't it?" He looked away, then said, "I saw the way you turned red, looking at that dress earlier. And like I said, your kisses seem different now. When you said you spent most of your time with him, did... did that include nights, too? Did you... did you break your promise, after all?" He turned back to me, his eyes anxious—haunted, even.

I turned and snuggled up against him, resting my head against his shoulder. I sighed, and said, "No... and yes."

"Uh... well, which?" he asked, confused by my vague answer.

"Technically I'm still a virgin...."

"Technically?"

"I mean, I haven't gone... well, all the way."

"But you came close?"

"I... I guess." I sighed again, then said, "I'll tell you what happened. There was one night about halfway through my vacation when I... I got really drunk—I'd had way too much wine to drink, then I made some really potent coffee drinks, and I was pretty tanked up. I talked Mikhail into going skinny dipping with me, and then I... I tried to persuade him to sleep with me. He was a little drunk, too, but nowhere near as bad as I was. A-anyway... he was a complete gentleman and refused, knowing how I felt about it—at least, when I'm sober. Then I passed out there on the beach, so he carried me back to my room and put me in my bed. He sat up with me to be sure I was okay... and I guess he fell asleep, too—in bed with me. But nothing happened! He was just trying to take care of me. He could have taken advantage of the situation, but he didn't—and I'm grateful to him for that."

"Are... are you sure nothing happened? I mean, it must have taken an iron will to keep his hands off you when you were drunk and naked and all, especially if you were coming on to him. And, well, he's never really struck me as the 'iron-will' type."

I shook my head. "I remembered some bits and pieces of the night the next morning, and they matched up with what he said happened. I believe him."

"All right then, fair enough. Was... there something else? I mean, that hardly seems like the kind of situation to warrant labeling yourself 'technically' a virgin."

"Yes, there was one more night. Last night. He... he proposed to me. I mean, he'd said before that he wanted to marry me, but he hadn't actually asked. He said I didn't need to give him an answer right away, just when I was ready. Then he asked to spend the night with me. He promised not to... to do anything I didn't want him to do. He just wanted to be with me."

"I... I see. So what happened?"

"Well, while we were in bed, we kissed and... and then he... he touched me down there... and I... I..." I turned red with embarrassment, and couldn't get the words out.

"You... what?" I covered my face with my hands and didn't answer. "You... came? Is that it?"

"Huh? Came where?" I asked, looking at him in confusion, not sure what he meant.

"It's a euphemism. It means you had an orgasm," he said with a wry smile.

"Oh... then yeah, I guess so."

"And... did you return the favor?"

"Did I...? Oh! No, uh... no. He didn't ask me to do anything, and, well, he seemed pretty happy with things as they were, so...." I pulled my knees up again and buried my face against them, too embarrassed to look at Cam.

"I bet he was," Cam said drily. "So is that all, then? Or is there more?"

"N-no, that... that's all."

"You're sure? Like I said, he doesn't strike me as the sort to have an iron will."

"Of course I'm sure! That's everything, I swear. Don't... don't you believe me?"

He pulled me closer to him, saying, "Of course I believe you. I'm sorry, Alice. I didn't mean to suggest I didn't. It's just...."

"Just... what?"

He sighed. "Well, I know how hard it would be for me to restrain myself in, well, in either of those situations, and I think I have better self control than he does. But if you say nothing else happened, I believe you."

"And... now that you know... does it change how you feel about me?"

"No. I mean, yeah, I really wish none of it had happened, because I want you all to myself. It doesn't change how I feel about you, though."

"And... if I had.... If I wasn't still a virgin now... would you feel differently?"

"I don't see why that should matter... but, no. Again, I'd wish things had been different, but I'd still love you. We're not married, not even engaged, and I've known from the beginning that you were seeing us both—that this wasn't an exclusive relationship. I don't have any right to tell you what you can and can't do. If you'd said yes when I proposed to you and then done those things with him, then I'd be pretty angry about it, not to mention hurt. But that's a different story."

I nodded, then got up to make some coffee—I felt like I needed a strong, hot drink right then. Cam said he'd take some, too, so I made a pot and brought out the mugs.

"So," he said after I sat back down next to him, "now you've asked your question and 'fessed up. Are you ready to give me your answer? Have you come to a decision who you want to marry?"

I took a long sip of scalding hot coffee. "Yes. Yes, I have." I snuggled up against him and took a deep breath. "First, I need to say that I still love you both. I can't imagine anything changing that. But I love you in different ways. Mikhail is..." I sighed, thinking back over the past two weeks, "he's exciting, and romantic, and being with him is exhilarating and... and... intoxicating."

"I see. And I'm none of those things—is that what you're saying?"

"No! No, that's not what I mean. Please, Cam, just hear me out, okay?" He slowly nodded. "I don't mean anything like that. The flip side of being with him is that he's mercurial, temperamental, and jealous. When he gets moody, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. And when he gets possessive or loses his temper... well, I tend to lose mine, too."

"Anyway, you—you're much more even-tempered, not to mention kind and considerate. And though you can be jealous and quick to jump to conclusions, you aren't half as bad as he is. Being with Mikhail is like being on an amazing, exotic vacation. But being with you is like... is like coming home afterwards."

"Then...?" He looked at me uncertainly.

"So, I've chosen who I want to spend my life with. If you'll still have me, Cam—it's you."

His eyes opened wide as he stared at me. "Are... are you sure? I don't want to rush you, so if you need more time...."

"Yes, I'm sure, as sure as I am of anything. Don't... don't you still want to marry me?"

He pulled me onto his lap and smothered me with kisses, all over my lips, my face, my neck, laughing all the while. Finally, with tears in his eyes, he replied, "Yes, Alice. More than anything, I want you to be my wife—forever and ever, to the end of time and beyond."

And he pulled the ring out of his pocket and slipped it back onto my finger.