Cam blanched at my words, his face drained of all color. "You... you... what? You can't.... Why? Why can't you? I thought...." He stumbled over his words in understandable bewilderment. I continued holding his hand after I returned his ring, and I caressed his cheek with my free hand, closing my eyes to focus on my words. I took a deep breath, and I tried to explain.

"I love you, Cam, I'm certain of that. But I'm not yet sure if I love you enough, or in the right way, to marry you. You said you wanted me to take as much time as I needed to be sure—really sure—of my choice. Well, all I know right now is that I don't miss Mikhail nearly as much as I think I should miss someone I'm in love with. So it doesn't seem to me that I should marry him. But...." I hesitated, uncertain how to continue, and looked up at him.

Cam returned my gaze, the color slowly returning to his face, and with a flash of comprehension in his eyes, he said, "But you don't know if it might be the same with me. Is that it? You want to put our love to the test, as you did with Mikhail, don't you?"

I slowly nodded. "I came to that decision just a few days ago, and I heard back from my folks this morning. My younger brother, Rob, wants to test his wings, so to speak, so he's going to come out and take care of my farm for me while I'm away. He's arriving tomorrow, and I'll be leaving the next day. I'll be gone for two weeks—that should be long enough. I think... I think when I return, I'll know for sure. I'm sorry to ask you to keep waiting... and I'll understand if this is the last straw and you don't want to wait around any longer. But I feel like I have to do this."

He sighed and looked away for a minute, then looked back at me. "Well, I said I'd wait, and I meant it. It's a bit hard, I admit, when I thought at last my wait was over. But don't worry about it. I'll still be here for you when you return. Where do you plan to go?"

I hesitated and bit my lip uncertainly. "That... that's the other thing. I'm... going to the same town where Mikhail is spending the summer. I'll be staying in a guest house there. It's on the coast, a few hundred miles northwest of here. I feel that besides testing my feelings for both of you with separation, I also need to see how I feel after a reunion. So...."

Cam stood up quickly, turning away from me as he yanked his hat down lower—a sure sign he was upset or dismayed. "I see," he said, shortly. "So you'll be spending the next two weeks with... him. I guess my wait wasn't anywhere near as close to done as I'd hoped. Well, Alice, I hope you have a great time." And he started down the hill towards the horses, not looking back at me as he left.

I jumped up and grabbed his arm as he walked away. "Cam," I pleaded, "please try to understand. I want to be sure. It would be wrong to marry you if I'm still full of doubts, wouldn't it? So I have to get rid of those doubts. Otherwise, I don't see how we can be happy together. Please forgive me. I know I'm asking a lot of you. It wasn't easy to make up my mind to do this, but it's what I need to do."

He stood there, keeping his back to me but not resisting my hand on his arm, either. After a moment, his shoulders slumped and he sighed a deep sigh. "It... it's okay, Alice. I understand. But that doesn't make it any easier, you know. Just the thought of you and him...." His shoulders tensed again.

"I'm sorry, Cam," I whispered as I let him go.

He nodded, then turned back to me, his eyes full of misery. "Will... will I see you again before you leave?"

I nodded, saying, "Yes, of course. I want to take Rob around to meet everyone after he arrives, then I'd love it if you would join us for dinner tomorrow night? And I'll stop by to say goodbye in the morning before I leave. Mako has offered me a ride to the train station. The train leaves midday, so we'll need to leave really early. I don't know if you'll be awake...."

"I'll make a point of it," he replied looking at me sadly before he turned and slowly walked down to his horse.

Two days later, I stood in my room at the quaint bed and breakfast on the beach, looking around. It felt strange to be there, to be away from my farm and all alone, with no friends in the area—except Mikhail, that is, who didn't know I was there... yet. The room was a large suite and the furnishings were both beautiful and comfortable. A huge, soft bed surrounded by airy, sheer curtains was placed between two windows that faced the ocean, with small tables placed on either side of it. A chest of drawers stood in one corner, and a dual-purpose dressing table and desk stood between it and one of the windows. A small sitting area in a large bay window overlooking the beach was furnished with a loveseat, a low table, and a bookcase filled with assorted knickknacks and books. The room had its own little bath with a nice, deep clawfoot tub and another window looking out across the water. The room was pretty and light, decorated in white with a deep green carpet and accents. I felt that I'd be very comfortable there during my stay.

I unpacked, then sat down at the desk and wrote a note, tucking it into a little envelope and addressing it before going in search of the innkeeper. I asked if she knew of anyone who could deliver a note for me, and she suggested her eldest child, a boy who looked to be about twelve years old named Ben. I gave him the note and some money, and asked him to wait for a reply, if there was one. He grinned and nodded agreement, then ran out the door.

I returned to my room and addressed postcards to my parents, my brother, Kana, and the girls, then I wrote a letter to Cam. In the end, it had been hard to follow through with my resolution. Cam had looked so disconsolate when I'd stopped by to say goodbye that I'd been tempted every minute of the drive to the station to turn around and run back to him. But I didn't. I knew that I needed to do this, even if it wasn't easy.

I finished addressing and stamping my mail and carried it downstairs, leaving it in the basket for outgoing mail by the front door. Just as I dropped my letters in, a familiar voice from behind me said, "Alice? Is it really you?"

I turned around and was immediately swept up in a fierce embrace. "It is you—I'm not dreaming!" Mikhail exclaimed, pulling back and holding my face in his hands as looked eagerly into my eyes. "I couldn't believe it when that boy showed up at my door with your note."

"Mikhail," I said, laughing as I pulled his hands from my face and held them in mine, "it's not been that long! It's only been a few weeks since you left!"

"Is that really all?" he asked, again enfolding me in his arms. "Perhaps so, but each day I've been gone has felt like a month of Sundays. You don't know how much I've missed you...." He buried his face in my hair as he held me tightly.

We stood like that for a few minutes, then I pulled away, saying, "I don't know what your plans are for tonight, but... I was just about to go look for a restaurant when you arrived. I missed lunch, and I'm famished. Want to join me for dinner?"

He smiled as he tucked my arm into his, and said, "Please allow me to take you to one of my favorite places. You'll need to change your clothes, though. Why don't you go get yourself dressed for dinner? I'll go home and change, too, then return and wait for you here."

"Well... I'd really like a shower, in that case, as the train ride was rather hot and dusty.... Are you sure you won't mind waiting?"

He leaned down and gave me a tender kiss, then said, "Not in the least. Take as long as you like." I squeezed his hand and hurried off.

An hour later, I came downstairs—showered, made up, and dressed in one of the nicer dresses I had packed: a short, simple dress in silvery-white with a black mesh overlay embroidered with stylized peonies and roses. I'd pulled my hair back into a loose chignon, and I wore black heels and a pair of simple onyx earrings that had belonged to my grandmother.

I found Mikhail waiting in the front sitting room. He had changed into a dark grey suit with a pale grey shirt and black tie, and he looked wonderfully handsome. He stared at me as I approached him, and I blushed under the intensity of his gaze. "You look... utterly exquisite," he said softly, as he came up to me and put his arms around me.

"You look pretty good yourself," I replied with a smile.

He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss before saying, "Come on, let's go. There's a cab waiting to take us there." I wrapped a lightweight black shawl around my shoulders, and we left.

Our destination was an intimate little place on the beach, just outside of town. It appeared to be a smallish beach house that had been converted into a restaurant, with just a few small tables in each of a few rooms, as well as a large deck with more tables. It was there that the maitre d' led us, chatting familiarly with Mikhail as we followed him outside.

We had a lovely, unobstructed view to the west across the water, and I was sure that the sunset would be magnificent. Mikhail asked for a bottle of champagne, which was brought to us while he ordered our meal. The grounds on the small plot were beautifully landscaped, so we took our glasses and strolled around, admiring the abundance of summer blooms as we sipped our wine.

As we wandered along the paths, I noticed a quaint arbor tucked back in a corner, covered in a profusion of tiny golden roses. I leaned over to breathe in the rich, tropical fragrance of one of the blooms, looking back in delight at Mikhail. He appeared to be just about to speak but instead shook his head slightly and remained silent. He smiled at me and held his arm out, and we slowly walked back to our table, arriving just as the waiter brought a plate of oysters on the half shell. A large, cheerful man wearing a chef's toque followed closely behind, hailing Mikhail with delight as he held my seat for me. From their conversation, it was obvious that they were acquaintances, if not friends, and when Mikhail introduced him to me as the chef-owner, Étienne, the ruddy-cheeked man bent over my hand with a huge smile and a twinkle in his eye that immediately endeared him to me. He departed a few minutes later to return to his kitchen, promising Mikhail a marvelous meal and winking at us as he hurried off. Mikhail sat down, smiling as he commented that they'd been friends for several years now, having met after one of his performances.

Étienne was no slouch in the kitchen, it seemed, and our meal was delightful: scintillatingly fresh raw oysters with our champagne, followed by a cold creamy arugula soup. The entrée he chose to prepare for us was a Salad Niçoise, replete with fresh seasonal vegetables and topped with thin slices of seared fresh tuna. He also sent us a bottle of lightly chilled rosé as the perfect accompaniment. Afterwards, as we watched the sun slowly sink below the horizon in a blaze of fiery glory, we nibbled bite-sized berry tarts with our coffee. It was easily the nicest meal I'd had in ages, if not ever—and not just the food. The setting and the company all contributed to my enjoyment of the evening.

Since it was such a beautiful night, Mikhail had the cab drop us off along the boardwalk so we could go for a stroll before he returned me to my room. As we walked along, he reached for my hand, then with some hesitation, said, "Darling, I've been wondering... does your arrival here mean that you have chosen me over Cam? Or is that too much to hope for?"

I exhaled in a soft sigh, then steered him towards one of the many benches along the path. I sat down next to him, and taking his hand in mine, I looked up at him and replied, "No, Mikhail. It doesn't."

He shoulders slumped slightly as he looked away, saying in his soft voice, "I... I see. So I am no further ahead. But hopefully I am no further behind, either?"

I looked out across the moonlit water, taking a moment to collect my thoughts before I answered. "When you left Konohana, there was a void—something missing where you had been. And I felt that... that lack, and I missed you. But... but although it hurt, it didn't hurt the way I thought it should hurt to have someone I love gone like that. And so I wondered... if your absence was not unbearable, how could it really be love, true love? So then I began to wonder, would it be the same with Cam? And how would I feel after being reunited with each of you after an absence? So...."

"So you decided to come and find out for yourself?" Mikhail asked, gently turning my face to look into my eyes. I nodded my head, and he leaned back and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. "And?"

"And... it's too soon to say. I can say that I was elated to see you again, but... but that's all I know so far. I know I didn't give you any warning, but if you aren't too busy, I'd like to spend as much time as possible with you while I'm here. I'll be honest, Mikhail, I'm not sure we're really very well suited for each other. You're temperamental and possessive, while I'm very independent and chafe at your possessiveness. Those aren't the sorts of conflicts that are likely to just go away, you know. Still, here I am. I'll be here for two weeks, so I suppose one might say that you have two weeks to make me forget Cam and change my mind about you—about us. Then at the end of my stay, I'll return home and see how I feel about him. I'm hoping—really hoping—that I'll know then."

"Two weeks...." Mikhail mused, looking out at the sea. After a moment, he looked at me and smiled. "I do have a few prior engagements, I'm afraid. However, I believe you would be welcome to accompany me to most, if not all, of them—if you care to do so, of course. Otherwise, I am entirely at your disposal." He leaned down and kissed me. "And I will do my best to drive all thoughts of every other man from your mind in that time," he whispered, holding me tightly.