Meanwhile, as the drama with Cam and Mikhail was unfolding, Kana was waiting patiently in the wings, so to speak. He rarely said anything amiss, but once in a while I'd catch him unawares, staring at me with a look of complete adoration and devotion in his eyes. Most of the time, he was his usual, hearty self, and he certainly was a good friend—probably my best friend in both villages, though I'd become close to Eileen as well, and I tended to confide in her more than in Kana, at least my boy problems, for obvious reasons. Since he chose to keep his feelings to himself, I respected that and never mentioned them—especially since I wasn't entirely sure of them to start with—but I also rarely spoke of my boy troubles with him, as that seemed unkind and inconsiderate.

So we continued as good friends, enjoying each others' company—riding, hiking, fishing, going to Yun's Tea House for a cup of tea or a fiery curry, or just sharing a meal or drinks at home. Then one day as we were chatting under the old cherry tree near Nori's garden, Dirk caught up with us, waving a letter addressed to Kana enthusiastically. He was surprised, as he rarely got letters, and he was even more surprised when he saw it was from his father.

His dad had been away for several years, since Kana had turned sixteen, searching the whole world over for the perfect horse. Kana's mother had adored horses, more even than either Kana or his father. Right before she died, she had wistfully wished for the chance to ride the best, most beautiful horse in all the world just once—then, she said, she could die happy. But she died too soon, and his father's heart was broken. So he set out on a journey to find the most perfect horse in all the world, and he carried his wife's photo with him on his journey. Then, Kana said, when he found the right horse, he would take her photo riding with him, thus fulfilling her dying wish as best as he was able. It was such a sad, sweet story, I just cried and cried when Kana told me about it. It had been almost two years since his dad had last written, though, and I knew Kana was concerned for him, wondering where he was and if he was okay. I tried my best to reassure him that he surely was fine, but I knew he still worried.

So when he received the letter from his dad, Kana was both elated and relieved. But after he tore it open and began to read it, his face quickly fell. I watched him, worried but not wanting to intrude. At last he looked up at me, his brow furrowed and his expression uncertain.

"Is... is your dad okay?" I asked, feeling even more alarmed by his expression.

"Yeah... yeah, he's okay. He's finally found him—the perfect horse, I mean. A gorgeous colt, he says, with a coat the color and sheen of the purest gold. But he goes on to say that the horse needs a particular climate to be at his best for training, so he's taken him to the village where my mom was born. He's staying with her people there, while he raises and trains him."

"Oh! Well, that's... that's good, isn't it?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah... except he also writes that he misses me very much... and he wants me to move there, too."

"Oh!" I exclaimed, "I see...."

He looked back down at the letter, then back to me again. "So... I don't know what to do. I mean, I miss him, too, and I'd love to be with him. But... I have the shop, and the horses...."

I looked off into the distance for a minute, then looked back at him. "If you ask me... " I said, then hesitated.

"Yeah? What do you think?" he asked me, a little too eagerly.

"I think you should just follow your heart. You only have one chance at life, so you should make it as happy a life as you can. Right? And I'm sure your dad would feel the same way—he'd want you to be happy."

"Yeah! Yeah, you're right. I really don't want to leave here, as much as I miss my dad. I have a life here of my own, ya know? And besides... " he said, turning red and looking away, "well, there's someone here that I wouldn't want to leave behind." He cleared his throat, then said, "Anyway, so I'm gonna go write to him right now and tell him sorry, but I'm staying here. Thanks, Alice! I'll see you around." Then he took off at a run for his home, leaving me baffled under the bare limbs of the cherry tree.

I didn't know what to do anymore. I wasn't sure how I felt about either Cam or Mikhail yet... but I was pretty certain I wasn't in love with Kana. He was strong and manly—a real hunk, to be honest—yet he was kind and gentle, too. But... well, I just didn't feel anything more than friendship for him. I had to find a way to let him down... but I had no idea how I could do that. Especially since he still hadn't actually said anything. And maybe I was wrong? Maybe the 'someone' he mentioned was someone else, not me at all. I slowly walked home, worrying the whole way.

The next day, when I stopped in at Kana's while making my rounds of social calls, he asked me if I'd like to join him for a cup of tea. I gratefully accepted, as it was cloudy and chilly that day, so we sat and sipped tea while we chatted. He seemed oddly distracted, though, and I wondered if he was thinking of the letter and his reply.

After we had finished our tea, I rose to take my leave, but Kana stopped me and asked if I would go for a walk with him. He said he wanted to talk to me, and he found it easier to think and talk while walking. Feeling a sudden apprehension knotting up in my stomach, I agreed, though somewhat reluctantly, and we set out on the path up the mountain.

Despite saying he wanted to talk, he walked along in silence, apparently lost in thought, until we reached the spring near the mountain peak. Looking around and seeing that we were alone—Mikhail was apparently either not there that day or else too far off to see or hear us, or so I hoped—Kana turned and looked at me. "Hey, you know... I wanted to say, well, thanks. Thanks for always putting up with me and listening to me yammer on about my dad and horses and stuff. I... I think you're pretty cool, ya know. And I'm glad we're such good friends. But somehow, as time passed and I got to know you better and better... well, somewhere along the way, I fell in love with you. And just thinking about you being with Cam or Mikhail—or anyone—really bummed me out. But ya know, I'm a man of action, and it's not really my style to just sit around and mope. I know I'm kinda rough and all, but, well, I think I could make you happy. So I want to ask you.... Alice, will you marry me?" he said, grasping my hands in his and looking expectantly into my eyes.

Oh, how it hurt to see all that love and adoration and... hope in his eyes, knowing I didn't return his feelings. I looked down at the ground, my eyes filling with tears as I miserably tried to find a way to gently—but clearly—let him down.

But Kana wasn't made of sawdust, and when he saw the tears spill down my cheeks, he knew. He gently lifted my chin and looked sadly into my eyes. "It's a no go, huh?" He sighed deeply, then said, "Well, I had to at least try, even if I didn't have much of a chance. I'm sorry for springing this on you all sudden-like. We'll just stay friends, yeah?"

I nodded, tears running down my cheeks. "I-I'm so sorry, Kana. I... I just don't feel the same way about you. You're probably my best friend in the whole world, but... I don't love you, not like that." My voice cracked and I began to sob even harder.

"Hey, now, don't cry. It's okay. Really. I... I'm going to head back now. Gotta check on the horses. So I'll see you around, yeah?" I nodded again, and watched him leave, walking slowly back down the path, looking utterly dejected—so unlike his normal, happy-go-lucky self. I felt terrible, but at least I'd been honest with him. He'd deserved nothing less. I slid to the ground beneath a tree and wept.

A few minutes later, a voice nearby called out, "So, no joy for Kana, huh?" I jumped up and whirled around, and there was Mikhail, leaning against another tree a short distance behind me.

"Not now, Mikhail. I'm not in the mood," I snapped angrily, furious at his intrusion and his flippant remark.

He looked sheepish, and said, "I'm sorry. You're right, that was uncalled for. Just... relief, I suppose. But I do sympathize with him. I understand how he feels. And I know that someday... I could be in the same position. And before you jump to conclusions, I didn't eavesdrop, not really. I heard voices, but I couldn't make out any words. I came along to see who was here, but when I saw the two of you, I stopped. I couldn't hear what either of you said... but I'm not blind, either. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he was proposing marriage and that you weren't accepting."

I turned my back on him, my heart aching and sore from the whole experience. "Yes, you've got it. Good for you, Mikhail, you figured it all out. Now please just go away. I want to be alone right now. Whatever you may think, it hurt a lot to turn him down. He's been a far better friend to me than you have been."

"Ouch," Mikhail replied; I could almost hear him wince. But I wouldn't apologize for my words—they were true, if a bit blunt. "You're right, though. Kana has been a good friend to you, while I regret to confess I've neglected that aspect of our relationship. I'm sorry. Please allow me to offer my heartfelt sympathy. I sincerely mean it. You're a kind and good-hearted person, Alice, and I know it must have been painful for you to have to hurt a friend like that. I'll go back to my roost, but... if you want to talk, or just want a shoulder to cry on... well, I'd like you to keep me in mind, if I can do anything to help you." Then he returned to the rock he'd selected as his customary perch without further comment. I was grateful for that. I really did want to be alone... but perversely, as soon as I really was alone, I found myself wanting someone to talk to.

I hesitated, trying to decide if I should take Mikhail up on his offer, or head down to Bluebell to talk with Eileen. I suddenly realized that I felt physically exhausted from the strain of the past day or so. Even if maybe Eileen was preferable for commiserating under the circumstances, I didn't think I had the energy to walk all the way there and then all the way home again. Besides, it might actually be nice to confide in Mikhail. I was supposed to be getting reacquainted with him, after all, yet I hardly ever sat and just talked with him. So I picked myself up, brushed the leaves and grass from my legs, and climbed up to Mikhail's perch.

"Hi," he said, looking slightly uncertain as I climbed up. "Friends again?"

"Yeah... friends," I replied.

"You know," he said as I settled down on the rock next to him, "there are some really lovely places around here. Some days are a little too cold to play properly, but I like to come up here anyway. I feel... inspired." I nodded, looking out across the valley with unseeing eyes. He looked over at me, and I felt like he might have been about to say something, but instead he kept quiet and waited patiently.

After a minute, I said, "When I first moved here, everyone was really nice and friendly and all... but still kind of distant, like they wanted to welcome me, but at the same time, they weren't sure about me. I don't know if that's because of my family's history, or just natural small-town suspicion of strangers, or what.... But Kana... Kana was different. He was the only one who was truly welcoming right from the beginning. His smiles really reached his eyes, unlike most others'. He had no reservations about me. And even though I was living in Bluebell at first, and the rivalry between the towns was still pretty strong, he still was friendly, kind, helpful and always glad to see me. And we found we have many interests in common—animals, especially horses, as well as fishing, hiking, nature, and other outdoorsy things like that. We even liked a lot of the same foods and drinks. So before long, he was the best friend I had in either village.

"I didn't really suspect that he was starting to... to develop feelings for me. Not until... well, sometimes lately I'd just catch a flicker of a look in his eyes, and I wondered. It worried me, but I didn't know what to do. I should have tried sooner to get the message across, but... but I wasn't sure. I thought I was probably reading more into it than there was. I wish I could go back and do it all over—maybe I could spare him, then. Even so, I didn't really know until yesterday, when he talked with me about whether or not he should move to rejoin his dad, and he said... he said there was someone he didn't want to leave behind. And then like a flash of lightning, I knew. And I was terrified—I couldn't bear the thought of hurting him, but I knew I just didn't feel that way about him. And it's no good pretending, is it? Because that would be so much worse than the truth in the end. But even then, I didn't say anything—I tried to convince myself that I was mistaken.

"Then today, when he said he wanted to talk and asked me to go for a walk with him... well, I knew the time had come. I was sure he was going to say something—although I wasn't expecting a proposal—and I knew I had to make it clear that I just don't return his feelings. I... I feel like I've just killed my best friend," I wailed, beginning to sob again. I put my head down on my knees and cried and cried.

Mikhail didn't say anything, he just put an arm around my shoulders and gave me a sympathetic squeeze. He let me cry until I couldn't cry anymore, then he offered me his handkerchief. I dried my eyes, sure that I looked like a wreck by then, and thanked him for listening. I looked at him, and he was looking at me with such a tender, affectionate look, and he said, "You know, you're really something else, Alice. Most ladies I've known would be pleased by Kana's proposal—I know that many consider him quite a catch, because of his good looks, his manliness, his kindness, and his successful business, not to mention that he's just a fun guy to be around—but instead of being smug or flattered, your only concern is for the pain you fear you've caused him."

He wiped a tear from my cheek, then went on. "For many years, I felt so bitter towards you. I was sure you were the very worst kind of girl: deceitful, dishonest, uncaring, selfish, vain—you name it. But when I came here... after we talked that first day and you told me what had really happened... I could see just how wrong I'd been. You aren't at all what I had thought you were. In fact, you're the opposite of everything I'd imagined all those years. You're so very sweet, considerate, and compassionate. And with each passing day, I find more and more that is good and delightful about you. And also with each passing day, I fall more and more in love with you. At this point, it almost—almost—doesn't matter if you return my love, although of course I long for you to do so, to go on discovering new and wonderful things about you for the rest of our lives. Even if you never do, though, I will always love you, and I will always be in love with you. There will never be anyone else that can take your place in my heart. And... I'm happy that you felt that you could confide in me, even if only as a friend and not as a lover. Perhaps, someday, friendship will blossom into something more. But either way, I'm grateful for your gift of friendship. I'll try to be worthy of it."

I leaned against his shoulder, his arm still around me, and we just sat there in silence. I breathed a deep sigh and just relaxed, letting the tension melt away as we watched the sun slowly set in a blaze of glory. Then Mikhail walked me back home, taking care in choosing our path lest I stumble in the twilight. He said goodbye at my door, with only a light kiss on my forehead and no talk of love or attempts to press an advantage, and left me to sip a cup of tea before the fire as I contemplated the day's events in peaceful solitude.