valentine's day was the worst.

yeonjun had thought that since he was thirteen, when he first realized it wasn't a holiday for people like him. people who found themselves watching from the sidelines, half-annoyed, half-aching, as everyone else paired off like it was the easiest thing in the world. every year, the cycle repeated: girls giggling over chocolates, couples walking a little closer, classmates teasing each other over pink envelopes stuffed in desk drawers. every year, yeonjun rolled his eyes and pretended it didn't bother him.

this year was no different. except, maybe it was.

because this year, soobin was here.

"you look pissed," soobin said, dropping down onto the bench beside him, breathless from the cold. his scarf was a mess around his neck, and snowflakes clung to his dark hair like they belonged there.

"i'm not pissed," yeonjun muttered, dragging his gaze away. he watched a group of students shuffle past, all wearing the same giddy, love-struck expression that made his stomach twist. "just tired."

soobin hummed, leaning back. "tired of what?"

yeonjun exhaled sharply through his nose. "this," he gestured vaguely to the courtyard, to the couples exchanging sweets and shy glances. "valentine's day."

soobin's lips curled slightly, amused. "of course you hate it."

"duh. it's a pointless holiday."

soobin tilted his head, thoughtful. "is it? or are you just bitter because no one asked you out?"

yeonjun scoffed, shooting him a glare. "like you're any better."

"hey," soobin defended, raising his hands. "i never said i liked valentine's day either."

yeonjun turned his body slightly, fully facing him now. "oh? and why's that?"

soobin hesitated, lips parting like he wanted to say something but wasn't sure how. the pause was long enough that yeonjun frowned, waiting. then, finally, "i don't know." soobin looked down, tapping his fingers against his thigh. "i guess i just don't really care about all this... love stuff."

yeonjun stared at him, expression unreadable. love stuff. what a way to put it. for a moment, he considered pushing, asking if soobin was really as indifferent as he pretended to be. but something in his face, something quiet and unsure, made yeonjun hold back. 

so he just scoffed instead, playing it off. "you say that now, but watch. next year, you'll probably be head over heels for someone, tripping over yourself to buy them overpriced chocolates."

soobin wrinkled his nose. "no way."

"oh? you got someone in mind already?" yeonjun teased, raising an eyebrow.

soobin hesitated again, but this time, he didn't look away. he was watching yeonjun carefully, like he was weighing his words before setting them loose.

"maybe," he murmured, barely above the wind.

something in yeonjun's stomach tightened. he forced a smirk, ignoring it. "who is it, then? anyone i know?"

soobin exhaled a small laugh, shaking his head. "you're so annoying."

"come on, just tell me."

soobin sighed, rubbing his hands together for warmth. his voice was light, casual, but something about it felt different. deliberate.

"how about you?" he asked.

yeonjun blinked. "what about me?"

soobin shifted, glancing at him. "you don't have a valentine either."

yeonjun scoffed. "obviously."

soobin hummed again, thoughtful. then, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, he said— "i could be your valentine next year."

silence. yeonjun's smirk faltered, just for a second. he turned his head slowly, searching soobin's face, looking for some kind of joke, some sign that he was just messing with him. but soobin looked serious. nervous, even. the way he kept his gaze steady but tense, the way his fingers curled against his palms. yeonjun had seen that look before. but never directed at him.

his heart did something strange. his mouth opened, but no words came out.

soobin's eyes flickered with something unreadable. he let out a breath, softer now. "it's just a thought," he added, suddenly shy.

yeonjun wasn't sure how to feel. no. he knew exactly how to feel. cocky. confident. completely unbothered. that was what he was good at. that was what he knew how to do.so he laughed. leaned back against the bench, stretching his arms out as if none of this meant anything.

"damn, soobin," he drawled, shooting him a lopsided grin. "did you just ask me out?"

soobin's face turned an alarming shade of red.

"what? no— i mean—" he sputtered, ears burning.

yeonjun grinned wider. "you totally did. you basically admitted you have a crush on me."

"shut up," soobin groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

yeonjun chuckled, amused, but that strange tightness in his chest wouldn't go away. because soobin was still sitting there, still flustered, still looking at him like he meant it. like he actually meant it. and yeonjun— he didn't know what to do with that. he didn't know what to do with the warmth creeping up his spine, the way his pulse felt too fast, too loud. he didn't know what to do with the fact that he wanted—

god.

he didn't know what he wanted.

soobin peeked at him through his fingers, still visibly embarrassed. "are you done making fun of me?"

yeonjun exhaled through his nose, amused. but the teasing edge in his voice had softened. "for now," he said.

soobin groaned again, dragging his hands down his face. "i hate you."

yeonjun tilted his head, watching him. soobin was so easy to read. always had been. his emotions were too big, too obvious, too impossible to hide. and right now, yeonjun could see everything. the nervousness. the hope. the vulnerability, sitting so heavy in the air between them.

he wondered if soobin knew what he was doing to him. he wondered if soobin could hear the way his heart was beating. yeonjun swallowed, throat dry. he should say something. anything. but he didn't know what.

so instead, he did something reckless. something stupid.

yeonjun leaned in.and pressed the softest, briefest kiss to soobin's cheek, "happy valentine's day, loser,"

it was just enough to feel the warmth of his skin, the way he tensed in surprise. just enough to make his own heart stutter. when he pulled away, soobin was frozen, wide-eyed, completely stunned. yeonjun smirked, pretending his own ears weren't burning.

"consider it a thank you," he murmured.

soobin blinked at him, lips parted, breath shallow. for once, he had nothing to say. yeonjun took that as a victory. but deep down, in the part of him he refused to acknowledge—he wasn't so sure who had won.