I remember when I was eight I was the happiest person alive but know I feel like the sadest person alive.

I remember last night I cried myself to sleep I wanted someone to hold me and love me but there was no one out there who could do that for me. I wish I Co III ls tell someone about what u do and why I do it but they would think I'm trying to get attention. That might u thought of breaking up with my girlfriend but realized that she as closest I'll ever get to love. I cried heavily wanting someone or something to hold me. At that point I was so desperate for a hug that I held my pillow in my arms trying to it feel like a person. I felt so stupid but couldn't help it. Am I stupid? Am I crazy?