(Hello everyone! I wanted to challenge myself by writing another 5 in 1. With it actually being a 5 in 1, just like the warning I gave in the last chapter there are NWH spoilers. There's also going to be a mention of miscarriage, which I have never covered before, so if you don't feel comfortable reading this that's okay.)

Anyway, on with the story.
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For as long as MJ knew her boyfriend, she'd picked on a lot of his habits. Like the way when he was bored he'd climb up to the ceiling and read a book upside down. She'd found it a little strange, but then again they lived in a world where norse gods weren't a myth and were actual people. All of Peter's tics usually showed themselves when he was happy, nervous, stressed, or fearful. In this instance he was happy about something, and the genuine smile that laid upon his face made her mouth contort into one. They were in his and May's apartment when Peter checked his phone, he saw a text from Ned telling him he'd be home in a few days.

Ned had left with his parents and his Lola to Hawaiì to visit family for a few weeks. Usually he and Peter were always together twenty four seven. But when he left, Peter was sad because he couldn't talk to Ned every day due to the different time zones. But he was joyful that his friend got to see family he doesn't see very often. It was bittersweet, the little thing MJ noticed was that when he got excited, Peter would raise his arms, clinch his fists and wave them side to side.

He'd have a huge grin on his face, she called it his smiley dance. As it would bring a smile to anyone's face if they saw it, including her's. Because in her humble opinion, Peter deserved everything good that the world had to offer. He got embarrassed and shy whenever he did it, so MJ would find herself often telling Peter it was okay for him to express how he felt. He didn't need to hide it, and when the next few days passed by, Peter and May were waiting at the airport for the other boy.

When they saw each other, both Peter and Ned ran up to each other, hugged, and then Ned began telling Peter all the amazing details of his trip with a smile. He also brought souvenirs and food because Peter wanted to try sashimi and Ube cheesecake. Peter was glad to have his best friend back home, and MJ was glad Peter expressed his feelings more, she hoped they both would do it more often. (Fun fact: Peter's smiley dance is what I do when I'm super excited. It's a happy stim I do.)
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Ever since Peter was little he would always stutter when he was stressed, in his freshman year of high school it got so bad to the point he stopped talking all together. It didn't help that he lost his uncle midway through that year, the young boy completely shut himself off from everyone and everything. Michelle Jones took notice of how depressed Peter was but never tried talking to him; she didn't want to interject herself in his life and business. So she kept her distance, that was until she walked by an empty dark classroom and heard the sounds of hyperventilating.

She peeked her head in and flipped the light switch on, seeing a certain brown curly haired boy, curled up in the far side corner of the room. She knew she had to help him or else he'd pass out from a panic attack. So she rushed over, kneeled in front of him and he looked up at her. "Peter, right?" Peter nodded slightly, still finding it hard to breathe. MJ felt bad for him, his eyes were red and he had dark bags under them.

"I'm Michelle, but my friends call me MJ. I need you to breathe with me, in and out okay?" She started taking deep breaths and Peter followed her lead, but his breathing was shaky. It continued like that for a few minutes, and soon Peter began taking proper breaths. He glanced at MJ, hoping he didn't look like a pathetic loser while he was having another stupid panic attack.

"Th.. Thank yo.. ou." He stuttered out, that was the first time she'd ever heard him talk, while in her shock, she barely noticed when Peter scrambled to his feet and left the classroom. She shook her head and chased him down the hallway catching up to him.

"Listen, if you uh, if you ever need another friend or someone to talk to besides Leeds. You can find me in the library ignoring everyone." She told Peter, which earned a quite small chuckle from him. From that moment on Peter started opening up to those he cared about, MJ weaned her way into that and became Peter's closest friend. It was a good thing she observed him in ways others didn't.
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The day Peter and Michelle got married was the best day of their lives, they promised they'd be there for each other forever whenever the other person needed them. There had been some struggles between the two, of course, marriage wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. There were days where Peter didn't tell his wife what was on his mind, whether it was something as small as he broke his favorite coffee mug or one of his terrible nightmares. It got to the point Michelle was begging Peter to talk to her, she cried, trying to get him to open up to her.

Peter didn't want to guilt her with his problems, he wanted to deal with them on his own, but he knew the more he kept from her the more it was taking a toll on their marriage. He sobbed as he told her what was going on, what happened on his latest patrol night. How he watched a kid die, how he could've saved him, but wasn't fast enough. And the guilt was eating him alive, he hated watching as cops showed up at the boy's parent's door.

He hated hearing the mother's cries, and how when she calmed down later in the night, the father finally broke down, smashing a glass that was once filled with bourbon across the room. He knew their pain, when he watched his uncle die May's world fell apart. And when he held May as she was dying his world went dark. He wanted so badly to avenge her, Ned and MJ were the ones who held him as he sobbed, she wouldn't be coming back.

Michelle kissed Peter's temple, whispering to him, trying hard to help him not entice a sensory overload. She held him close, never once telling him to stop crying. Just being there to catch him when he fell. She loved him and he loved her, he couldn't fathom the thought of never being with her again. "I'm sorry, I.. I'm so sorry." He whispered.

"It's okay. You're okay, love." That's all she kept repeating, over and over but the more she said it the more Peter blamed himself. All of those flashbacks with Ben, May, and the boy played like a film in his mind. He couldn't escape them, no matter how hard he tried, and it was tearing him apart piece by piece until he could no longer recognize the man he saw in the mirror.

"It's my fault... it's all my fault. They're dead because of me." As MJ's arms encased Peter in her embrace, she listened to his broken sobs, she rarely cried. Now was one of those times. She desperately needed to get her husband to stop blaming himself.

"Peter, listen to me. What happened to Ben, May, and that boy is not your fault. You can't help and save everyone, you need to accept that. I know it's hard. But I'm here, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

"Why? What if you get hurt, what if it's you who dies because of me? I can't lose you M, I can't." Michelle raised his head up, looking him straight in the eyes and wiping away his tears.

"You and I made a vow, one I intend on keeping for the rest of my life. I'm never going to turn my back on you just because you're afraid of me getting hurt. That's what happens when you marry a superhero, I fell in love with you Peter Parker, and I'm going to keep loving you till the day we are old and gray living in some upstate nursing home." Michelle explained.

Peter smiled lightly, and all Michelle could think was 'there's the man I fell for'. She leaned forward and kissed him, letting her hands gravitate towards his and entwining them. They pulled away and Peter spoke in a soft tone, "I love you."

MJ smiled, "I love you too, Pete."
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Peter wasn't prepared for today, not in the slightest. He had his SATs and his mind was frazzled. He had studied, made notes, and did everything he possibly could to prep for this exam. But all of that flew out of the window, once he sat down in his seat next to MJ. He began frantically fiddling with his fingers, twisting them, pulling them, biting his nails. The works. MJ noticed what Peter was doing, so she took his hand that was at his side picking at his sweater and rubbed her thumb over his knuckles.

She watched as his muscles and his whole body relaxed, he offered her a small smile. Before the both of them took their tests, an hour later, they left their class and headed to the library. MJ grabbed a book and sat on the floor leaning her back against the shelves as Peter was right by her side too. PDA was never her thing, but Peter was an affectionate person, holding his hand was enough she liked holding his hand.

"By the way, thanks for holding my hand. Sorry for freaking out." Peter said. She looked up at him and nodded, no matter how completely opposite they were to each other, the two of them always made compromises and communicated. No words had to be spoken, just small gestures that went a long way. 
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Peter waited anxiously for that call, his leg was shaking in anticipation, he really hoped it wouldn't be what he and his wife thought. Of course Parker Luck had to swoop in and cause some huge disaster. Peter's nerves got the best of him as he got up from the couch and started pacing back and forth in front of the phone. The pit in his stomach feeling sucked, he honestly wanted to throw up. MJ glanced up from her book to see Peter acting frantic, she set it aside, got up and stood in front of him. Giving him a worried expression, she hated seeing him so panicked.

Before either of them could speak the phone rings and Peter picks it up to answer, "Hello? Yes, this is he. Okay, yes. Thank you, you too." Peter hung up and the look of devastation etched on his face, he made his way to the couch and sat down, merely staring off into space. MJ went to him, she knew what the call was about, their nightmare came true.

She still had to ask, even if she knew the answer, "What'd they say?"

Peter turned to his wife, "The results came back... they found a tumor. They want me to go into treatment as soon as possible, so I have to set up an appointment for that."

MJ brought her hand to her mouth, she was shocked. Peter has cancer, "What are you going to do?"

Peter sighed, "We can't afford chemotherapy treatment M. It costs thousands of dollars, and in the long run may not work."

"We'll find a way. We always do, please don't give up." She replied.

Peter leaned his forehead on her's and took in a shaky breath. "I'm terrified Michelle." He admitted.

"I am too, but I'm going to be there every step of the way."

"Even when all my hair falls out?" Peter questioned.

MJ let out a watery chuckle, "Yeah, I will. In sickness and in health remember?"

"Thought you didn't believe in traditional wedding vows?" Peter smiled, not being able to keep a straight face. He pulled her close in an embrace, they were going to get through this and be hopeful.
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When they went to the hospital a couple weeks ago everything was fine, until it wasn't. MJ and Peter were informed that they had lost their child, it was like a punch to the gut, they did everything right. How could this happen? What did they do wrong? So many questions swirled around in their minds. MJ blamed herself for it all, while Peter hid his fears well enough to the point she couldn't really detect something was off. He was an empty shell of his former self, he looked like Peter, he sounded like Peter, but he wasn't Peter.

He had to be strong, that's all he could do, he put his feelings aside and helped his wife through the difficult time. Soon his mental health started to decline as well, because he didn't want to show MJ how he felt, he kept all of it bottled up. Which in hindsight was the worst possible thing he could do, as MJ was so sad and depressed she didn't notice how much the miscarriage was affecting him. Peter didn't think his feelings mattered, after all MJ was the one who was pregnant and went through that pain.

So why should he be upset? She's probably hurting more than him, he didn't want to burden her with his guilt and sadness. While MJ was in their bedroom lying down, he was in the kitchen making her some tea. At this point in time, Peter was just going through the motions, trying to live another day. He grabbed MJ's cup and turned to walk towards the hallway when he took a misstep and accidentally dropped the mug. It shattered and the tea went everywhere, Peter cursed under his breath.

He grabbed a nearby towel and cleaned up the liquid, then threw away the shattered bits of the mug. His vision clouded and he found himself sinking to the floor crying, god he was useless, he couldn't even make a simple cup of tea. His whole world was laying in bed right down the hall doing nothing but being in pain and he couldn't do anything to stop it. He felt incredibly guilty feeling like he played a part in the loss of their child.

He couldn't even bring himself to walk into the nursery without tearing up, he was spiraling, how was he able to help MJ cope if he was struggling to cope himself? He listened as the floor creaked, he looked up and saw MJ staring at him. He got up quickly, wiped his face, and MJ questioned him, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I accidentally dropped your cup of tea. So I have to make a new pot." Peter replied. MJ only partly believed him, she watched Peter move around to make a new kettle of tea, seeing his expression or at least the last little sliver of what he was actually feeling. Practically hearing the lie he was conjuring up, MJ walked over to him, taking ahold of his shaking hand and guided him to their living room sofa.

The both of them sat down, at first in silence before Peter spoke up, "I'm fine MJ. I just dropped the mug, that's all?"

"Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?" Peter sighed in response, really not wanting to have this conversation this early on.

"It's okay not to be okay, Peter. What happened is sad, but like the doctors said, it wasn't our fault."

"Why are you taking care of me? That's supposed to be my job, I wasn't the one in the hospital for three days. I.. I didn't almost..." Peter trailed off.

MJ's face became wet, she was crying. "But you still lost someone important. He may have not been here yet, but he was just as loved as if he was."

Peter sniffled, "I didn't want to burden you, you've been in enough pain as it is."

"Pushing your feelings aside doesn't help. Not you, not me, not anyone. Honestly, that pain is never going away, but a way we can work through it together is with therapy." MJ suggested.

Peter thought for a moment, "I'm sorry for being so... useless. But I agree, therapy might help." MJ nodded, leaning her head on Peter's shoulder, their trauma was shared. Somehow they were going to be okay, even if that would take a long while. They'd get there eventually.
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The End of Chapter 180