Wow I didn't know I could hate myself even more than I already did

I had a dream where I killed 2 kids and kidnapped 4.......
And I'm a babysitter not good at all...
Good I'm a phycopath *sigh* I can't even trust myself around kids much less knifes oh gosh please help me what the heck do I do I can't even sleep the fear keeps me up so much my body is killing me I can barely move.