⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ Skipping stones ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

"He's still not home....did we really mess it up even more?" Beomgyu sighed, admiring the night sky above his line of sight, feeling the night-breeze caressing his hair and cooling down his face, which was rather warm from another crying session.

After coming back from Soobin's cafe, he had been lost in thoughts, wondering where things went wrong.

After a lot of self-reflection and thinking, he came to a conclusion; that he was aimlessly throwing skipping stones in still water.

The water was still and pitless, and a tiny pebble thrown into it won't do much than just create ripples, but you can know from the sound and motion that how deep the water actually is.

With practice, you'll be able to make your pebble have more skips on the water surface.

But....what if you try to throw a sudden big stone? What happens?

The water splashes out momentarily in a large amount and makes a mess, with the water going back to the way it was before. Still and unaffected.

That's what Beomgyu's efforts were.

He made the mistake of throwing the big stone in a hurry, and it ended up making a mess and things went back to Level 0.

In conclusion, he fucked up. Totally and literally.

Patience should have been what he had, but instead he was impatient and took things too far without even knowing Yeonjun's true depth.

Throwing skipping stones one by one would have let him know the exact depth of water; which was Yeonjun's depth of his feelings for him, but he haphazardly made the mistake of throwing a big stone last night, and messed up everything.

"Why did I make such a mistake? For being called smart and calculative my whole life, how could I fail in calculating this?" Beomgyu mumbled to himself, looking up at the night sky, swallowing his tears.

"How do I go back? How do I solve it now? Should I maintain distance now?" Beomgyu wondered, trying to find a solution to his new problem.

He had always been a problem solver, being a Mathematics major and Professor, so why was this equations of love so complicated?

He was trying to sort his thoughts and emotions, when a sudden sound alerted him.

"Huh?" He wondered, turning around immediately when his eyes widened.

"Yeonjun?"

"Shit."

The two stared at each other in silence, too surprised to say anything.

A myriad of thoughts and questions ran through Beomgyu's head when he saw Yeonjun standing there in his room, just a few meteres away from him.

He wanted to ask so many questions.

"Where were you?" "Are you mad at me?" "Can we talk?" "How do you feel about yesterday?" "Was yesterday a mistake to you?"

But all that came out of his lips was a small "...Hi."

The single word hung in the air, like a small exhale. Beomgyu couldn't find his tongue.

Yeonjun's eyes widened a little, taken aback by Beomgyu's shy greeting, but his expression quickly softened.

"Hey," he replied quietly, taking a tentative step forward. "I... I didn't expect to find you here."

"Oh...I was just... yeah." Beomgyu replied awkwardly, not knowing what to speak. His heart was thumping loudly from expectations, wondering what Yeonjun was feeling.

"I-i see...well uhh-" Yeonjun felt the awkwardness in the air, clutching the boquet of flower hidden behind his back.

How does he apologize and give this to Beomgyu now? His hands were shaking, breath quickening from nervousness.

He gulped, taking a step forward hesitantly and standing right infront of Beomgyu, revealing the boquet of Tulips and Carnations; lowering his gaze.

Beomgyu looked at the boquet now presented to him, his brain taking a second to process what was happening, and let out a surprised gasp.

"T-This is f-for me?" He stuttered, wanting to die from embarrassment on stuttering, but the surprise and absolute glee took over him, filling him with excitement.

Yeonjun giving him flowers? This was a good sign right? Yeonjun was giving him flowers, so this meant he was just overthinking and assuming things right? Yeonjun must have felt something too...he wasn't the only one.

Tears of relief and happiness filled his eyes, as he looked at the boquet being offered to him by none other than Yeonjun himself.

Yeonjun nodded, still keeping his gaze lowered. He could feel his heartbeat racing as he watched Beomgyu's eyes widen with surprise and fill with tears at the sight of the bouquet.

"Yes, for you" he confirmed quietly. "I... I bought them for you."

He waited anxiously for Beomgyu's response, his heart in his throat. Would Beomgyu be happy? Would he understand his unspoken apology in the gesture?

Beomgyu's fingers trembled as he reached out to touch the flowers, gently taking the bouquet, his hands caressing the silky petals reverently. This felt like a dream... a beautiful dream he was afraid would dissolve the moment he woke up.

"But... why?" he whispered, still unmoving from his spot, like he was frozen in place.

"I..." Yeonjun inhaled deeply, and continued, "I wanted to apologize for morning.." he continued, glancing up at Beomgyu's face and then turning his eyes back down to the flowers. "I shouldn't have just left like that, and I..."

His voice trembled as he spoke further.
"I'm sorry for not taking care of you like I should have..."

Beomgyu's heart skipped a beat as Yeonjun began to apologize. He'd been so terrified of losing Yeonjun completely, and here he was, finally speaking to him and apologizing.

His grip on the flowers tightened, feeling the petals crush against his fingers; hope and fear battling within him.

As Yeonjun continued, mentioning how he shouldve taken care of him, Beomgyu finally found his voice, small and vulnerable. "Did you... Did you not like last night?"

Yeonjun's eyes widened at Beomgyu's question, and he immediately stepped closer, his own voice strained. "Of course I liked it, Beomgyu. God... I-" He exhaled shakily. "I think I liked it a little too much."

He closed the rest of the distance between them, standing so close that Beomgyu could feel his breath ghosting over his skin.

"I... I couldn't sleep last night" Yeonjun confessed softly. "Couldn't stop thinking about how you felt, how... how you tasted."

As he spoke, his eyes traveled down to Beomgyu's lips, his fingers twitching to reach out and touch.

Beomgyu's breath hitched at Yeonjun's confession, his heart thudding heavily against his chest. He felt paralyzed, trapped under the weight of Yeonjun's gaze, the heat radiating from his body.

It was taking everything in him not to reach out and pull Yeonjun closer, to feel his touch again. But he needed to hear more from him, needed to know where they stood...

"But... you left.." Beomgyu whispered, the hurt evident in his voice.

Yeonjun winced, his shoulders slumping in guilt and shame. He looked back up, meeting Beomgyu's eyes, raw vulnerability etched across his face.

"I know," he murmured. "I... I panicked, I guess. I wasn't thinking straight... I-" He swallowed hard, his fingers curling into fists.

"I didn't know what to do... I shouldn't have just run away like that, it was selfish and wrong. Can you... forgive me?"

Beomgyu's heart ached to see the remorse written across Yeonjun's face. He knew that fear, that feeling of helplessness. He didn't want to hold a grudge, but he couldn't afford to just forgive so easily either.

He looked down at the flowers in his hand, their beauty a stark contrast to the heaviness in the air.

"It hurt, Yeonjun" he said quietly, his voice wavering. "You were missing when I woke up, no text or call, no words...I didn't know what to think. I thought you... you regretted it."

Yeonjun's heart wrenched at the pain in Beomgyu's voice. He'd known he'd hurt him, but hearing it like this...

He swallowed again, the lump in his throat making it hard to speak. "I... I didn't regret it, Beomgyu, I just..."

He closed his eyes, willing the rising panic to subside. "I was scared of how much I enjoyed it, of how much... I wanted you."

Beomgyu blinked up at him, the confession sinking in slowly. He hadn't expected Yeonjun to be so honest, so vulnerable.

His heart was pounding, hope and apprehension mixing in a dizzying fog in his head and emotions.

"Scared of... wanting me?" he repeated shakily. "Why? Why would you be scared?"

"Because..." Yeonjun stopped, struggling to find the right words.

How does he explain the fear of losing himself, of falling too fast and too hard, of wanting something so badly that it becomes unbearable? Of suffering the same past again? Baring his heart and getting stabbed and bleed again?

He didn't have the words to express the terror he'd felt last night when he realized just how much he wanted to stay by Beomgyu's side, how he couldn't help but want to have this every single night, how he wanted to be able to kiss Beomgyu everytime.

He didn't know how to explain it, he was never good at emotions, so he just answered, "I-i don't know."

"I've never...been good with my feelings, I don't know how to explain Beomgyu I-..." His fingers twitched again, the urge to touch Beomgyu almost unbearable.

"It's overwhelming. I don't know how to handle these feelings, how to handle you."

....

"You don't have to handle me Yeonjun."

He set the flowers on the chair beside the balcony, his hands shaking slightly, and took a small step, gently holding Yeonjun's trembling hands.

"You don't have to handle me," he repeated, his eyes fixed on Yeonjun's face. "Just stop running away...from me. From us." He presented his thoughts in a soft whisper, eyes glistening with unshed tears, but his lips held the same soft smile.

Yeonjun's lips trembled at the feel of Beomgyu's hand holding his, the gesture so tender it made his eyes sting.

Beomgyu's words hit him right at where it should. He knew he'd been running, he always did, but here Beomgyu was, offering him an out, a chance to stop running.

His fingers gripped tighter around Beomgyu's, the touch grounded him, kept him from falling apart.

"I'm... I'm sorry," he managed to croak out. "I won't run. Not anymore... I'm sorry Beomgyu.." his voice broke, a whimper escaping his lips, as tears started flowing down his eyes.

Beomgyu smiled shakily, relief and joy welling up inside him as his own tears escaped his eyes. It wasn't a love confession, but it was a start.

His fingers traced tenderly over Yeonjun's knuckles, feeling the tremors underneath his skin.

"Good...we can do this together," he whispered, his voice low and earnest.

Beomgyu knew, this was a start. A start to throwing pebbles again, and this time; he'll stick to skipping stones, watching them slowly makes more skips over the surface.

He'll flow with the pace of Yeonjun, and avoid throwing a big stone at once. He'll make everything right this time, and solve the equation perfectly with patience, because problems always need patience to be solved, just like Maths.

"Promise me you won't run anymore, and we'll figure this out together."

"I promise."

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Hello there Luvs!! Who else is crying? Ngl I shed a few tears writing this chapter...

Chapter 30, I wanted it to be special and an important chapter for the plot and story, because the literal title is "30 Days of Love and Math". Although it's only been a week in this Universe, the chapter hit 30, so it's important!!

I hope I satisfied y'all with this chapter, expect some Beomjun fluff and drama next🤭🤭 The story isn't gonna end so soon, Yeonjun has yet to reveal every extent of his feelings afterall, I take character development seriously and I love slow burn, so yes muehehehe.

Anyways, that's it for today! Thankyou for reading Luvs! See you in the next chapter! Byee!
-Rin💗