"Hey, Paris," Lucas calls from a few feet ahead of me on the street that leads back to our neighborhood. "Do you mind if we make a quick stop before we have to go back home and get the lecture of the lifetime?"

"I'm all for stalling fate," I reply. "Where do you have to go?"

"I just have to stop by a friend's house." He turns to the right, heading down the street opposite to the one that leads back home.

We walk in silence for a few minutes before he finally stops in front of a quaint bungalow with a path lined with pretty flowers leading up to the front porch. A pepper-haired woman is leaning over a patch of cheerful coreopsis perking up as if in greeting to their favorite master. A wrinkled hand goes up to meet them gently and give them a warm smile. "And how are you, my little darlings?" the woman asks her flowers.

"An old lady is the all-important friend you had to see right now?" I ask inquisitively.

"I play for her once a week," Lucas replies. "She doesn't get many visitors, and I figured a loud, obnoxious teenage boy would be just what the doctor ordered."

"Yeah, I'm sure the doctor highly recommended it."

"Mrs. Eleanor!" Lucas calls, waving franticly.

The old woman slowly turns around to face Lucas. She adjusts her glasses as he comes bounding toward her like an elephant. "Goodness, are you that Lu Lu boy that comes around here?"

"It's Lucas, ma'am," Lucas corrects painfully politely.

"Hardly," the woman snaps. "It's difficult to remember a sack of potatoes when you only see it once a week. Did you bring that electric guitar of yours?"

My mouth drops to the ground in an instant, and I stare at the woman in shock, looking at Lucas and the little old lady in turn.

"Sorry, not this week. I kinda forgot to bring it." He laughs and scratches the back of his neck. I can tell he isn't nervous, only trying to make a joke of his mistake.

"You wretched little child," Mrs. Eleanor says, smacking him playfully on the head with a random newspaper that appears from nowhere. "I sometimes wonder who the old one here is. I'm the one supposed to be losing my mind!"

"Sorry Mrs. Eleanor," Lucas returns as he rubs his head with a laugh.

I carefully walk up beside him, wanting to know more about this feisty old woman.

Suddenly she smacks him again. "Did you forget to introduce me to this lovely young lady too? Go on, tell me. She's your girlfriend isn't she?"

"It's not like that," Lucas answers bashfully. "She's just a friend."

"So she must be the sassy, young lady 'friend' you've told me so much about," the lady says before pulling her attention towards me. "I like your fire, kid. But try to take it a bit easier on the boys, especially your future boyfriend here." She uses her gardening shears as a pointer to direct her voice.

"I told you, it's not like—" Lucas tries.

"Don't listen to him," Mrs. Eleanor whispers loudly in my ear. "All boys do is deny. They're all babies. That's what Anastasia taught me."

"A Disney princess?" I question with a frown. Inspiration from a princess? Really? And I was starting to really like this woman.

"Anastasia is not a Disney princess!" Eleanor snaps. "Those princess wannabes will never be able to fill the role. Look at Princess Odette! And Princess Irene! And Princess Zipporah! They all got fire. They are all strong like bull."

"Strong like bull?" I repeat.

"Don't ask me what it means," the lady replies curtly. "I once heard a Russian man say it after I lifted his piece of junk of a car to grab my cat he tried to run over. Now hurry, come inside before you catch cold."

Ｓｔｒｏｎｇ ｌｉｋｅ ｂｕｌｌ

H𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡.

Ｓｔｒｏｎｇ ｌｉｋｅ ｂｕｌｌ

G𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲

I watch as she turns towards the steps leading to her house. I watch in confusion and say, "It's like ninety degrees outside. I don't think we're gonna—"

Lucas slaps a hand over my mouth. "Don't protest, make sure you finish every last bite of her cherry cheesecake, and never ask to use the bathroom."

I nod slightly, and he releases me from his grasp. I immediately whip around, grab his shirt, and whisper-yell, "Why did you bring me here? She's going to eat me up and chew me alive!"

"Sounds like the perfect match to me."

"You listen here, mister—"

"Aren't you two love birds coming? The cheesecake won't eat itself!" I hear Eleanor's suddenly cheery voice call.

"What about her cheery voice?" I ask with a shiver.
"What does that mean?"

"It means that we better hurry if we don't want to end up like Hansel and Gretel."

I release him and follow quietly up the stairs and into the dark gingerbread house.

———————

"So how did you two meet?" Mrs. Eleanor asks with a plate of cheesecake resting in her lap.

"It was glorious," I deadpan sarcastically. "Lucas attacked me with a skateboard and nearly took out my back."

"You take the girl out, your dimwit, not her back," Mrs. Eleanor says, turning to Lucas. "And you gotta ask first. That's how dates work."

"I know how dates work," Lucas replies, folding his arms and looking away.

"Have you ever been on one?" the woman returns, folding her arms in turn.

"Well, no—"

"I went on plenty when I was a spunky teenager. They use to call me Crusher."

"Was it because you crushed boys' hearts?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, dear, of course not. I'm no savage," she answers. "It was because I crushed their bones after they broke up with me." She gave a small contented smile and took a sip of her tea resting on the coffee table beside her.

Lucas and I become dead still as we watch Mrs. Eleanor, the seemingly innocent old woman, sip her soothing peach tea. She looks through the steam escaping her cup to give the two of us an inquisitive, painfully innocent look. "Whatever is the matter with you two?" she asks. She puts down her tea and sets a hand on her lips. "Goodness, I knew you both would catch cold. I'll go get us some blankets."

Before she can rise to her feet, the doorbell sounds through the house. Lucas and I put desperate hands to our ears as the screeching sound resonated.

"What is that noise?!" Lucas exclaims.

"Oh my, I have so many visitors today," Eleanor says with a large smile.

"That was the doorbell?" I murmur quietly, not sure of my surroundings as the noise continues to ring in my ear, despite the doorbell being silent.

I finally recover enough to stand, but then it rings again, and I hold my ears again. Lucas determinately jumps up and storms to the door, me following in tow.

I stand just behind Lucas as he turns the handle and opens the door.

I'm determined to slap whoever appears on the other side.

"Collin?" Lucas questions. "Geez, I thought we were done with this dude."

"Did you just say Collin's here?" I ask, pushing Lucas to the side to get a look at the visitor.

"What are you guys doing at my grandmother's house?" Someone who looks just like Collin inquires.

Hold on, it is Collin.

WAIT, MRS. ELEANOR IS COLLIN'S GRANDMOTHER!?