Kiss you... did he just say he kissed you when you weren't even all there? I didn't dream that, right? He kissed you...

A new memory materialises, and I realise what date it is.

December 19th, 2019

We were walking through Dongmyo fleamarket, looking for trinkets we didn't need because we both loved collecting useless items. Jimin was wearing a cute bakers-boy hat only he could pull off, and I was beside him, dressed like some drugdealer in an all-black outfit.

A woman with a kid in her arms walked past us, and Jimin reached out to boop the kid's nose with that adorable eye-smile of his.

The mother smiled back, charmed by him, as most people usually were.

"Wanna go?" I asked, but Jimin walked on with his fingers tangled behind his back and smiled mischievously when he glanced back at me.

"We should totally move to America and adopt a kid," he said, tucking a strand of his yellow-blonde hair behind his ear.

I laughed, but he was clearly serious.

"What?" He asked, looking up at me with those big brown eyes. "You don't think I'd make a great dad?"

I wheezed again. "Let's talk about that later."

"No, we will not talk about this later, Jungkook," he said sternly, folding his arms as he tried to find my eyes. "I want to talk about it now. I want to do this!"

I pursed my lips. "What are you even talking about? We don't have the money for that and we don't speak English."

Jimin squinted at me and cocked his head sideways. "Fuck you, bitch," he said in English, but he pronounced bitch like beach, and it caused me to burst out laughing.

"Do you honestly think you could even take care of a child?"

He moved away from me as if my comment had struck him with physical force. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I recognized that tone. I realised I screwed up and groaned at Jimin, myself, and the entire situation. "Look let's just... talk about this later."

"What are you saying Jungkook?" Jimin snapped. "I can never understand what the fuck you're saying!"

"I said we'll talk about this later!" I whisper-shouted as I felt people's eyes burn into my back. He never called me hyung in public like we agreed, and I never cared much if a few people heard that. But an entire fleamarket? That was not within my comfort zone.

"You can't just fucking say something like that and then say we'll talk about it later Jungkook!"

"Adress me properly!" I yelled, surprised to hear my own outburst when my voice boomed through the market like thunder.

Jimin was stunned for a few seconds, and he looked around with a red face when he began to receive nasty glares from a few elders around us.

"I - would make a great fucking father," he said through gritted teeth, and I gulped when I saw tears begin to well up in his eyes. "I'd do anything I could to encourage our child and I wouldn't be afraid to show them affection. I would never leave them, not for anything..."

I tangle my fingers into my hair as I watch my surroundings disappear.

The market stands, the lanterpoles, the people, the buildings... it's all disappearing, crumbling down as if the word is ending, and until even Jimin is gone.

I didn't mean what I said that day. I was just intimidated and confused. You know how I am, right? You knew I just chose the wrong words to express myself, right? Why couldn't you forgive me? Had I truly hurt you that badly?

_

The doorbell rings, and Yoongi picks himself up to get it.

"Oh, hi Yoongi," Jin mumbles, walking right past the ravenhaired man as he heads straight for Taehyung.

The man combs a hand through his platinum blonde hair and drops his coat on the table. He is wearing a bright pink shirt and khaki slacks, looking more like he is about to go on a five-day cruise in the Carribean than spend the night in some client's trashy apartment.

"Hey babe," Taehyung grins, and he pulls the blond in for a kiss, grabbing his ass and giving it a small squeeze. "You look hot."

Jin hums as he leans away and sits down where Yoongi sat before with folded legs. "I know."

The technician hands the blond a bottle of beer, but he refuses with an eye roll. "Is there nothing better to drink? I don't put cheap things in my mouth."

Taehyung snorts.

"I can check," Yoongi murmurs, but Jin stands up right away and waves his hand dismissively. "No, don't worry, I'll do it."

The man wanders off into the kitchen to find some quality liquor, and Yoongi scoffs as he looks at Taehyung. "He doesn't like me, does he? I always have that problem with guys... they think I'm an asshole. Especially the diva ones. They can't stand me." Yoongi glances over his shoulder, into the kitchen. "Too bad those are exactly my type..."

Taehyung turns his attention to his computer and shrugs. "I don't know man..." he whispers. "Maybe stop kissing unconscious people?"

Jin returns to the livingroom with two glasses of scotch. One for him and one for Taehyung. "You didn't want any, right Yoongi?"

The ravenhaired smiles sourly. "Nah, I'm good."

The blond receptionist holds up his drink and prepared for a toast. "Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders."

Taehyung stares up at his boyfriend in awe as Jin clinks his glass.

"It's Nietsche," the blond explains, taking a sip from his drink and sitting down on the patient's bed. "Beyond Good and Evil... found it in my book of quotations."

"Book of quotations?" Yoongi frowned.

"Namjoon will be in one of those someday," Jin says, touching his bottom lip. "Soon the world will worship him... don't you think?"

Taehyung nods in silence, but then his glass slips from his hand and smashes onto the floor into a thousand pieces.

"Jezus Tae," Jin sighs. "Can your clumsy ass wake that guy up?"

The technician sheepishly scratches behind his ear and shakes his head. "No... he's completely out. Nothing can wake him up. Not even me."

_

September 5th, 2019

I woke up to Jimin placing gentle kisses against my cheek. His incredible, soft lips making a path down to the crook of my neck and my bare shoulders, the morning sunrise heating up our sweaty bodies and making them glisten in the sun.

I kept my eyes shut and simply enjoyed the attention. He was the earliest of birds sometimes, but he could sleep days away as well. I liked that about him. His precariousness. He was never the same person twice, yet I always managed to fall in love with his every reinvention.

"You don't talk to me Jungkook," Jimin whispered, wrapping his pale arm around my torso. "You don't tell me things..."

I lay on my side and hoped that if I simply didn't remind him of my existence, he would continue to talk to himself and I would be allowed to enjoy the warmth of his body pressed up against mine in peace.

"I tell you everything," he said, nudging his nose into my hair. "Every bad thing, every good thing, my deepest secrets my most random thoughts... you know it all, Jungkook. I'm an open book."

I kept my eyes shut, and he became annoyed with me. "Why, Jungkook? Why can't you tell me things?"

"My life just isn't that interesting," I whispered. I felt like a rabbit cornered by a fox. "I don't have anything to tell you..."

He sighed. I could sense that he didn't buy it. He was getting annoyed with me and annoyed with who I was, but I couldn't even blame him. He probably felt like he was dating a wall.

"Then... let me read that diary you write in all the time! What are you always scribbling about if you don't have any thoughts or hopes or dreams?"

He groaned when I remained quiet and let go of me to turn me his back. I turned around as well to kiss him and cuddle him and show him that I couldn't give him any more that I already had, but he pushed my arms away and shut me out.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, burying my nose in his yellow locks, but he didn't care for it. My apologies were never enough, were they? But how could they be? It was just words.

The room darkens, and I feel everything around me fade.

Were we becoming sex-buddies? I wonder. Or - not even that... sex-acquaintances? Just acquaintances?

I couldn't stand the the thought of us becoming less... of my soul losing it's connection to yours and turning us into heartless beasts.

July 25th, 2019

We were having dinner at Yoojung Sikdang, and we were quiet for the most part during that evening. I ate, Jimin ate, and I felt like he was testing me, measuring just how long we would remain silent if he didn't speak up to fill the void.

I mustered up the courage to talk and reached out to touch his light yellow hair.

"I really like this new color," I murmured, and his lips twitched up in the most disingenuous smile he'd ever given me.

"How's the pork?" I tried a while later, pretending like his silence wasn't chilling me to the bone.

"It's good," he said shortly, and the awkward tension rose again at an even faster rate.

He grabbed our shared bottle of Soju to fill up my glass but I passed, and so he brought it to his lips and threw it back in one go.

Great, I thought. He was going to get drunk, and this date would either end with him passed out in bed or with him shouting at me for no good reason at all.

"Hey, could you do me a favor?" He suddenly asked after loudly setting down the bottle. "Could you wash the soap after you're done showering? It's gross when there's hairs stuck all over it."

I nodded right away and bit my lower lip.

"It really is-"

"Repulsive," I finished for him.

"Yeah," he mumbled, stuffing his face with another piece of pork wrapped in salad. "It's repulsive."

_

"Buttercup? Hey, what's up?"

"Yoongi!? God I don't know what's happening. I'm so fucking confused... something isn't right, I don't know what it is but something isn't right!"

Yoongi excuses himself from Taehyung and Jin and strolls into the kitchen with his phone pressed to his ear. "Jimin, calm down okay? What's wrong? Breathe and tell me what's wrong."

"I don't know! I'm just confused..."

"What are you confused about Buttercup? Everything's fine."

"Do- do you love me?"

"What? Of course I do. Don't you worry about that cutie."

"Do you think I'm ugly?"

"No! Why- of course I don't think you're ugly! You're the prettiest, sexiest man on the planet and I'm the luckiest son a bitch alive knowing that you're mine. Should I come over babe?"

"Huh? Oh no... I'm a mess. I look insane and-"

"Come on, let me come over Buttercup. I'll cheer you up. I think all you need right now is a little distraction."

"No, really... I'll be fine I was just being extra."

"Yoongi!" Taehyung calls from the livingroom. "We're in the middle of erasing someone, tell me you're not actually thinking of banging your boyfriend right now."

"No, let him go," Jin says, nudging his head at the door. "I can help you out."

Taehyung glances at Jin like a little boy on Christmas, and then shifts his eyes back to Yoongi. "Okay leave."

Yoongi chuckles and shakes his head. "Babe, I'm coming over alright?" He says into his phone. "Just hold tight okay? Should I bring something to eat? How about tteokbeokki?"

"Look at him being a good little boyfriend," Jin says as he watches the ravenhaired man hurriedly throw on his coat and mustard-yellow scarf. "Wasn't he straight a week ago?"

Taehyung nervously scratches behind his ear as he stares at his computer. "Yeah... that guy he's with must be real special."

"Call me if anything explodes!" Yoongi yells before heading out, slamming the door shut behind him.

"He sounds mentally unstable to me but I'm not surprised if that's Yoongi's type," Jin huffs, emptying his glass of scotch. "Yoongi gives me creep vibes, but I might be seeing things..."

Taehyung hums and rests his chin on the palm of his hand. "Yeah..." he mumbles. "Maybe."