ᴘᴏᴠ ᴏᴅᴇᴀɴ✾

I moved away from the see-through glass door and pulled the drapes back in place. There was no point standing there staring out at nothing in general. I took a sip of the water that I held in a glass and tried to relax.

With my mind in turmoil and distress, the bright sunshine that beamed outside in the late morning only increased the miserable feeling that accompanied my dismal mood.

It was no use stressing over Goodaz or my lack of making any leeway in getting to the meat of the matter of why Patrice was off limits to me.

I place the glass on the bedside table before I removed the towel that I had wrapped around my waist. I got dressed then head downstairs.

My mood was far from improving as I look to see Goodaz calling me again.

After two missed calls and no response, she should a get the message but she reach fifteen and still nuh get e.

"How much time mi tell yuh fi tap smoke in yah DD?!" I snapped at my cousin who was lounging on the settee casually smoking a blunt.

The annoyance in my voice was not constituted by my cousin's love for smoking weed around the house but by my annoyance with myself for making a complete mess by putting a bigger wedge between myself and Patrice.

That so-called wedge was now blowing up my phone with messages and calls. I hissed my teeth as I followed DD into the kitchen the spliff tail now hanging from the corner of his lips. I glared hard at him and more so as I heard the tell-tale chime that indicates I received a voice message.

Wah duh dah gyal yah man?! I thought to myself. Mi nuh waah no ooman believe seh because she get fi suck mi dick she can gwaan like she waah up inna mi flava.

DD glanced at me as I yanked the refrigerator's door open causing the bottles in the door slots to rattle. There was a questioning frown on his face but I ignored him and just grabbed the first bottle that I touched.

I look at the Heineken bottle and frown knowing that I should have myself a cup of tea instead but I was not in the mood to be rational. I was pissed and in this irrational temperament, I pull the cork with my teeth and took a long drink.

I was beginning to think that coming back to Jamaica was a total waste of time. I was nowhere near getting any of the plans that I had planned to fulfill on my return here, instead, I was still in the dark as to why Peggy and I are matches and gasoline.

Not one family member could take me out of the dark void by shedding light on the situation. All who I spoke to were like a vice grip holding everything tightly closed with no desire to open up to me.

I believe they were all glad that they had the excuse of Ms. Murl's upcoming funeral arrangements to push my concerns aside. I was getting tired of it all and the more frustrated I got I knew the more reckless I was going to be.

Look at Goodaz for example, I had her thinking she could have me as she pleases. On the two occasions, she presented herself I allowed her to get what she wanted.

Goodaz was not the type of girl you took home and made a wife. She was not cut from that cloth. I was just an opportunity for her. The forinah that can cause her to brag and boast. I knew half of the district was already aware of her hooking up with me and exactly just how she did it.

I was not in the least bit concerned about her telling people she sucked me off; her story to tell. What I was concerned about was that I allowed myself to lose focus on my purpose.

Patrice and Odenia were my number one priority for putting my life in America on hold. I left to come back here to make a life and home with the one woman who time could never erase and distance could never fade.

The prospect of finding out the circumstances that ripped her away from me and caused me to not even be a part of my daughter's life should not have proven so difficult.

If only the Wicked Witch of Davis Town had found it in her heart to release me from my pain and set me free to love Patrice I would not be in this mess.

"Yow dawg yuh phone nuh tap ring, a wha suh?"

I look at DD but he was looking down at the phone he held in his hand because it had started to ring too.

I walk out of the kitchen grateful for the distraction. The last thing I wanted was to tell my cousin I double fucked my chance of getting back with Patrice after he saw how hell-bent I was on getting her back.

He had helped me to get her number and encouraged me to go for the one thing I wanted the most. He was the first person to know I was coming to Jamaica and my main purpose.

It just happened that his sisters decided that they too wanted to visit for the summer and spend some time with their grandmother who was quickly ailing. I found it better to use that as my excuse too as I knew if my real purpose was to be known our family would not settle for it happening.

Our grandparents and family did not want us together and thinking it was going to be easy now that Ms. Murl has passed away only proves that the other people were just as tight lip as her.

"Hey wah dat yuh a drink so early?" DD's stepmother said coming into the room with Myopah both of them carrying loaded shopping bags.

She did not wait for me to answer instead she took the half-empty bottle from me and told Myopah to put on the kettle.

"Yuh up yah treat d thing like yuh a nuh part a d family," she was saying. "Look how food dung a yaad an yuh up yah a drink lickah."

Myopah looked at me and her lips twitched in a smile. I could not help but smile too. I found myself missing my childhood days when as kids we would be sitting on any surface with our plate piled high with fry dumplings, plantation buttered bread, and a tun of scrambled egg our mugs full to the brim with mint tea.

If only I could turn back the hands of time when childhood made life simpler.

"See them bags ere," she said pushing them under the cupboard where the pots were mostly placed, "a some tings fi give Dreadie fi use when e come up fi season di meat dem fi mi."

"Mum yuh tink wen Dreadie a season the pork e taste e?" DD laughed returning to the kitchen.

The woman who was not his mother by birth but one in every sense of the word to him glared at him and shook her head as she started to get things to prepare for breakfast and I watch as Myopah and DD started to make fun of Dreadie and their stepmother despite her self started to laugh after their antics.

The bitterness and frustration of the previous days and nights leading up to now started to fade away as I watch my cousins and Aunt Daphne chat and laugh. Before you know it the kitchen was filled with the delicious scents of season saltfish fritters and plantains frying.

As the batches were placed on the plate fingers were tentatively taking one of the crispy golden fritters to eat with a slice of plantain and a jovial atmosphere was set.

I allowed myself to relax a bit as I joined in telling myself that whatever was happening was already set in motion by the man above and when it was time to get everything that I came back to Jamaica for I would.

All happenings were not just coincidences but things on the journey to allow us to make discoveries and gather tools to aid us as we make our way to our destination.

"Wah mek fi yuh phone a ring suh maas Odean?" Myopah asks wiping her greasy fingers on a hand towel.

"Mi eva tell yuh seh yuh an Melanie cudda tun investigata to how unuh faas?"

Cutting her eye she took her phone from her pocket and look at the screen then unlock it to shortly start typing. It was clear to see that something had her full attention which I was glad for because I was not ready to openly discuss Goodaz and her new obsession.

"Hey mi come yah com cook mi naah tidy up no kitchen," Aunt Daphne said heading for the door.

I watch Myopah follow behind her smiling cheekily. I walk out too leaving my phone and the messy kitchen intent on leaving the task to DD. I found him in the living room looking down at his phone.

He did not look up from the screen when he spoke to me.

"Kronazz have a ting a Roxborough mi waah touch dung, yuh waah farwud?"

Anything to get away from Goodaz.

"Yeah, man."

"Kool."

"Aunty Daphne lef something fi yuh inna d kitchen."

I was heading up the stairs when I heard him call out.

"Yow dawg yuh tink yuh funny?"

I laugh as I said. "Mi straight lakka arrow dawg."

I knew he was planning on how to get me back but for now, I was just looking forward to getting away from Goodaz and Ms. Murl Dead Yard for the night. I needed a change of scenery.

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Please👇

Nuff love 🇯🇲