𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚞
𝚜𝚕𝚘𝚊𝚗'𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚟

i sit waiting for kie by the coffee shop, i had been waiting for at least thirty minutes. my phones ringing "hello?"

the girl on the other end my brown haired friend "sloan heyy so —" i cut her off "you can't go"

the carrera girl smiled on the other end "mm yes but my reason is simply because i have a date with kai tonight"

if i wasn't happy for this girl i'd scream at her "omggg tell me everything please! that's is my best friend, so I'll text you later have fun"

"I will see ya sloan"

"see ya kie" i hang up. i drop my board and start to travel to the chateau.

once i arrive i see two of my boys by the hammocks, pope is talking to john b who has his eyes on me. "a sight for sore eyes! it's win-win winters. sloannnnn" he immediately picks me up causing me to laugh. i wave at pope as i get my hands out of john b's hug.

pope is smiling at our encounter "miss winters, how do you do?" he says with the best accent ever. i smile at pope and hug him as i take a seat on the hammock opposite of them. "i am great boys, how are you guys? i've missed your faces"

"we could be better, school is crazy. everyone and what i mean is the teachers have been riding all the students. giving extra work, more papers. all of that how's kookville?" john b says.

pope interjects "it hasn't been the same without you or kiara"

"same old, same old. you both know i don't see where i live that way. it's figure eight, and the cut that's it. pogue v. kook. blaahhhh" i stick my tongue out to convey my conviction.

they laugh, "jj went on a crazy pity spiral when you guys left off that way. he didn't mean to break your trust. he was broken when you guys broke up" pope chimes as he scratched the back of his neck.

"mmm how is he now?" i quip.

"boys! ready for blunts! ready f-f—" jj's voice rang as he makes his way towards us. i freeze up at his voice, i haven't heard it in three months. a flood of emotions came through me like i'd been hit by a car. i slowly turn my head to get a look at him.

jj is already staring at me, he was going to say something but he can't. he didn't look different, his blonde hair in a mess on his head, eyes still the ocean blue i fell for.

"s-s-s-sloan" jj stuttered as he made his way back the way he cane still staring at me. i get up to stop him, i get close to jj i grab his arm stopping him.

"hey" i stand in front of him crossing my arms.

jj looked at me perplexed unsure of what to say back for ten minutes before settling on "i still don't want to see you" his eyes turning cold. from the warmth that they were seconds ago.

"you yell at me, scream at me, tell me quote "i hope the cancer eats you". that you want to break up because you can't deal with me or my illness. now you except me to just leave because you don't want to see me. i haven't seen you for almost going on four months now. you never apologized. you just took all we had then stomped on it" i huff as a finish my spiel.

jj looks at his best buds for reassurance but they have nothing to say. "fuck you. i meant what i said" he leaves. standing there at a loss, turning on my heel i head back to pope and john b.

"he didn't mean that" pope said.

john b had pinched his nose as he shook his head. i sat back looking at the sky to stop the tears that were ready to come out. i blink them away. john b & pope grab my attention again by taking a polaroid of me, i smile for the second one. then we take one together. after a while i take a photo of the polaroids.

"guys can we drink?"

"hell yeah"

"don't mind if i do"

we head into the chateau, the fridge stocked with blue moon.

grabbing three we relax, drink, chat. it isn't until 3 am that i leave to head home, a bit drunk but i get there. john b and pope fell asleep on me. i didn't want to impose by staying at the chateau even though i know i could've.

as i skate back home the thoughts that swirl in my head just take over, it's tears on tears. due to the fact that i have confidence in jj that feeling still fills me. wanting him to apologize was just the tipping point.

☦︎︎☦︎︎☦︎︎

texting rafe about my ventures home, that i miss him, love him. after telling him about my way home. i head to the bathroom, shower, brush my teeth. slowly but surely cry a little, lastly fall into an intoxicated slumber. tomorrow will be hectic.

i don't open my eyes until 3:30 in the afternoon, i awake with a hammer hitting my head. taking more than five blinks to adjust to the light, getting up way too fast i walk to my bathroom. pulling the tylenol out of my cabinet, taking two. heading down to the kitchen i drank the pills down.

my brother startled me when he says, "miss sleepy head. how are you feeling?"

"i am alright, still sleepy but fine. why do you ask?" i have no clue what i did coming into the house sooo.

"well you slammed the door coming inside this morning. you screamed at something, then dragged yourself to your room" he laughs at little at the memory.

"i am very sorry about waking you guys" i place a palm on my forehead as the small nauseous feeling surpasses me.

"we were already up but it's no problem how much did you drink?" his concern evident all over his face.

nine-twelve beers. "about nine beers, i-i-saw someone who didn't want to see me" i grimace are the thought of jj's words.

wilma comes into the conversation in the nick of time, "was it jj?"

i nod as i chew the inside of my cheek to stop the sad emotions building up. wilma takes the opportunity to hug me. i rest my head on her shoulder. my brother clears his the throat "mmm well your breakfast is on the stove"

i thank him as he exits the kitchen. wilma said, "sloan hon. what happened?"

before i knew it i was telling wilma everything about yesterday night. how even as i spewed my thoughts jj still didn't want to apologize or admit what he said to me was wrong. acknowledge that our relationship meant something at the very least. wilma just listened, interjected when she needed clarification on his exact words. his facial expressions which i still know like the back of my hand. to a more less complicated topic she asked me about rafe.

disclosing limited info but i elude to our passionate date, the necklace, "might be meeting his dad tonight if i read that text message correctly so there's that" i give a passive smile.

"i spotted something in that closet of yours that's perfect for tonight it'll also send rafe seeing stars" wilma states.

"let's go" we head to my room, picking the perfect look. i ask for details on hair, bag, accessories. wilma extends her time to give me all the tips. next thing i know it's almost 5.

☦︎︎☦︎︎☦︎︎

after texting rafe for a few moments, i get ready and by the time i turn around he's downstairs. my hair is low curls, body, volume all that jazz! but my dress is/i would have to say a great choice. the gold silk doesn't make me pale as much as i thought it would.

once i am in front of him he hasn't spoken yet so i am bit nervous. i touch his chest "rafe. rafe?" i pull him out of a daze.

"huh. sorry" his smile said it all "this are for you" rafe hands me a bouquet with all these close to baby blue flowers.

"these are gorgeous, thank you my love" i kiss his cheek.

i smell them quickly running to put them in water. wilma gave me a look as she wiggled her brows which suggests the job is done, all night rafe will drool over me.

"ready" i spoke up once i return.

once we said goodbye we leave. taking the aux cord my music begins to play snoh aalegra fills our ears. relaxing, it almost feels like we have no destination in mind.

rafe hands me a letter.

"for me?" i use this peppy voice i have. rafe laughs filling the car with the sweet sound.

"— yes it's for you, love" rafe responds. a small look of nerves across his features.

☦︎︎☦︎︎☦︎︎

i begin to read it aloud "dear sloan, can i just say you are best person i ever encountered. i don't believe in fate but i feel like you were brought to me. the universes way of telling me love still exists that whatever pain i had would go away, that i can dissolve all my insecurities to one person. ..." as i get further i read it to myself. my breathe hitches as i take in all he's written to me. two poems, a handwritten letter. i could cry here and now.

"your poems were beautiful." i interlace our hands as i kiss his, i pull his attention away from the road to kiss him. as i bite his bottom lip we part in a very slow manor.

"thank you, there's more" a hint of lust in his voice i can hear it.

the cameron house comes into my peripheral as we pull into the driveway. rafe helps me out of the car. his front door opens before we get to the first step.

a man who has the same eyes as rafe, salt and pepper hair and a woman with blonde locks stand before us. rafe whispers in my ear "we'll kiss again soon" i can feel my cheeks get warm as i introduce myself i think her name is rose she pulls me into a hug. we are taking off our shoes. rafe hands me some socks, i place them on.

we head into the dining room, as sarah and wheezie approach me. we hug and chat for a bit.

"this'll be a breeze" sarah remarks with a smile on her face.

"just picture yourself naked" wheezie said.

i laugh at that. rose tells me where to sit, rafe pulls out my chair for me as he seats beside me he whispers "you okay?"

"perfect" i wink at him

mr.cameron clears his throat, standing "i'd like to make a quick toast to rafe and sloan before we eat. love always prevails. it's a roller coaster ride but it is up to those on the ride if they want to stay on. to you both" we clink glasses.

"salut"

"salut" my eyes on rafe as we sip our wine.

the pad thai on my plate making me hunger, mr.cameron smiles at me before saying "what are your intentions with my boy here?" that has to be a joke right?

"i am just kidding. but mind if i ask what your parents do?"

"well my parents are back in new york city, my dad is a lawyer, my mom is a chef. i currently reside with my brother" i take my first bite of my food yummmm mmm food.

"your brother does?"

"a doctor here in outer banks"

rose asks, "so sloan any plans after high school, what college you'd want to go to?"

i explain without taking a second to exhale, "i've actually always dreamed of going to nyu or columbia to study english literature to eventually become a literature professor in the long run"

i've actually thought the future was going to be without me.

sarah says, "nyu is my dream school as well. unsure what i want to study"

"you have more time to think about it" i smile small.

"no rush" wheezie adds with a fist bump from her brother.

"we are happy you have goals maybe you set rafe straight. he needs to figure out if he's going to college" rafe's father says.

"i believe rafe is fine, he can take his time. rafe knows what he wants, in some ways i can imagine him emulating you. being a business man, getting things done" i said.

"where's your bathroom?" i whisper in rafe's ear.

"there's one down the hall to your left or you can use mine"

☦︎︎☦︎︎☦︎︎

i excuse myself then head to find the bathroom.

the contents of my stomach is finding its way to come forward. I crouch to lean in front of the toilet, letting the puke flow.

i puke at least three times, i search the contents of rafe's cabinet to find some mouthwash. found it! i waterfall some in my mouth. rinse it out more times in fear of germs. i wet my face. slowly making my way downstairs, i sigh before heading back into the dining room.

rafe takes my chair out for me again "found the bathroom okay?"

i nod as i sit down. my mind on the fact that i couldn't hold my food down. that's rarely happened before. dessert goes smoothly, then we snuck away to rafe's room. as soon as i sat on the bed a wave of pure fatigue hits me. "i'm- very- sleepy- could i just lay here?" as i yawn i point to the pillow next to his.

"here" rafe passes me one of his tee shirts. "you can anytime you want" he winks at me causing me to smile. eyes closed, i am putting on his shirt as i strip out of my dress.

i crawl to the spot falling asleep, i feel his eyes on me before he leaves the room to go into the bathroom.

my sleeps interrupted with the feel of rafe's fingertips on my face. squirming i say "come" holding out my arms so he can come closer to me. once he does i place my head where his heartbeats help me fall back into my deep slumber.

☦︎︎☦︎︎☦︎︎
𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭.... 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐧  𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐧'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝, 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎, 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝, & 𝚟𝚘𝚝𝚎.

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐞𝐰𝐞𝐥 𝐱