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It was during their world tour in 2016 when Hoseok first experienced the 'mess of emotions'— as he would recall. The mess of emotions that aren't only controlled by him—not anymore.

He found himself laughing as soon as his mood was down for a long period of time or found himself feeling too lazy when it's just early morning after a good sleep at night. It didn't make any sense, he didn't pay much heed to it either until one day, it escalated into something deep.

It was after they were back from the world tour, relaxing and preparing for their next big album simultaneously. He was extremely happy that they had managed to finish the dance practice on time and the choreography was something they had never done before, he was excited to show it to the fans.

He was sitting on the floor, with his chest heaving up and down to calm himself after the vigorous practice when a wave of sadness hit him. He didn't pay attention to it, tried to snap out of the negative thoughts that had started invading his mind. 

Long practice hours, limited meals and uncertainty in debut- this was his life until now. So much hard work was being put in by every member with no fruit– but now they won their first award, they have started climbing the staircase up to their goals.

He shook himself out of it but the feeling settles in his heart, still. Why does he feel like giving up? It is so strange. He is not supposed to be so affected like this. He never felt like giving up before when days were worse. So why now? Why, when there is a ray of hope somewhere?

"Hyung...Is everything okay? You don't look so good," Jimin had asked him when he saw his Hyung through the mirror, struggling with something. Hoseok didn't say anything, just shook his head, dismissing it.

It was an unnecessary thought, it would go away in a moment.

He knows this, he has to be here with his members. They need him, he needs them but...Why is there such a feeling lingering in his heart?

Yoongi didn't let it pass though. He had approached the younger later in the evening when the rest of the group had gone for dinner. "Hobi. Tell me, what's wrong?"

Hoseok knew it's better to speak about it to someone. Yoongi would be the best option because he often has a nice way to handle things, seems to have the right words to say without going too deep. So he sighed, "I don't know Hyung...I feel like..I should stop. Just leave everything, give up...Why am I feeling this way when everything seems to go uphill from now?"

Yoongi had looked at him with confusion and concern laced in the furrow of his brows. "You said you've been having these random bursts of emotions the other day, do you still have them?"

Hoseok shrugged, "Maybe Hyung, but they aren't very extreme...just momentary..."

"Did you meet your soulmate?"

Hoseok had never wanted to laugh at a thought so bad. "Soulmate? Where did that come from?"

Yoongi had rolled his eyes and mocked him. "I thought you were joking when you said you skipped all the soulmate lessons in school. The soulmates who share emotions, didn't you read about them anywhere?"

"So you think it's because of my soulmate? These bursts of emotions?" Hoseok licks his lips. Yoongi nods, "Makes sense."

"You feeling so low, only means that your soulmate is in pain. You should probably find something to cheer up...you staying like this will only worsen their state."

That's how he had come around, training himself to be in control of his emotions— to subside the other emotion that snaked its way sometimes. So that his soulmate didn't have to deal with all the emotional burdens themselves.

A stranger.

There were cases where he thought of a slight possibility that those feelings and emotions belonged to him only. It might be something unspoken or hidden but he found it better to not indulge in much negativity, just in case, his soulmate needs emotional reassurance from someone.

That was all fine until he had this sudden feeling of irritation settle in him when he was in his studio. He didn't get it, but he just wanted to throw everything away, probably yell at someone. He had been trying to complete one verse of a song, he's been sitting with it for weeks but nothing seems to be right.

He groans, standing up abruptly, pushing his chair back with force and walks out of the studio. He needs some fresh air or probably he's hungry. He's hungry, he should probably go to the canteen and eat something.

That is how he finds himself buying a sandwich at the counter and he's ready to head back to the studio when he hears a commotion. He sees a girl hunched over a table— he recognises the man sitting on the table as the side actors of the advertisement being shot here. He would usually ignore, go his way but instead, he stands and just stares at the girl's back.

He doesn't realise he's staring until the girl rushes outside the canteen, Hoseok's automatically following her to the elevator. He just knows. It doesn't make sense. It never did.

But the next moment he is face to face with her, sandwich forgotten somewhere and so were any other worries.

Probably this is what people mean when they say, your soulmate just knows where your heartbeats.

Like they walk into your life as if they have always lived there, where your heart has built a home— just for them.

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