TITLE: always by your side
GENRE: fluff, angst

SUMMARY: when renjun was five years old, he met a cheerful boy named haechan and befriended him. he stopped seeing him when he turned 12. but when he turns 16, he meets a suicidal guy who looks exactly like haechan.
-

It was Renjun's 5th birthday when he met a boy named Haechan.

"Happy birthday, Renjun-ssi! How old are you now?" oneof his relatives asked him as he received a gift from her.

"I'm five!" he replied cutely, showing five fingers on his hand. she ruffled his hair then pinched his cheeks.

He smiled and walked over to the sofa, ripping the gift wrapper off.

As he pulled out a cute pink polo shirt, he saw a boy in his peripheral view. He creased his forehead and turned his head to the side.

There he saw a boy smiling at him. "Hi!" the boy said while waving at him.

"Hello." he waved at him back. "Who are you?"

"my name's Haechan. How about you?" the boy replied, smiling widely.

"i'm Renjun. Uhm, are you one of my cousins?" he asked, completely ignoring the polo shirt laying on the floor.

Haechan shook his head. "Nope."

"Renjun-ah, who are you talking to? Come here, your uncle wants to give you something!" his mom called.

"I'll talk to you later, Haechan. Bye!" Renjun smiled before walking over to his mom.

~~~

Renjun was seven when he met Haechan again.

He had his arms on the armchair while his chin on top of his arms, his lips were pouting.

"Hey, you okay?"

He flinched and turned his side. "Haechan?"

"Hi, yes! You remember me!" Haechan exclaimed.

He furrowed his eyebrows and stared at the boy. He observed him.

Haechan was tan-skinned, wearing yellow overalls, and his aura is full of brightness. He was smiling from ear to ear while looking confusedly at Renjun.

"Hey, Renjun!"

Renjun jolted back, "Huh?"

"Can i call you Injun?"

"Injun?"

Haechan nodded, "Yes. Can I call you that?"

"You're real? I thought I just imagined you when I was 5."

The boy didn't reply and asked his question again. "Can I call you Injun?"

He sighed and nodded, "Sure."

"Huang Renjun! Who are you talking to? Pay attention here!" his teacher called him, catching his attention.

"Sorry, Miss!" Renjun looked at front.

"Sorry, Injun."

~~~

Renjun was eight when he decided to befriend Haechan.

He was watching TV while his mom was talking to someone on the phone. Suddenly, he heard a boy spoke beside him.

"Hey, Injun!"

He turned his head to the boy. "Haechan?"

"Why are you always surprised whenever you see me?" Haechan chuckled. "What'ya watching?"

"Some boring movie." he replied. "Hey, haechan!"

The boy grinned, "Yes?"

"Could you be my friend?" he shyly asked.

"Yes!" Haechan yelled. "I've been waiting for you to ask me that."

"Why didn't you ask me before?" Renjun smiled.

"I didn't ask you because I thought you don't want to be my friend." Haechan replied, still grinning. "What do we do now, my friend?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Hm, I don't know. no school today and I'm kinda bored."

"Let's play a game." Haechan began.

He creased his forehead, looking at the boy curiously, "What game?"

"If you become sad, you lose. We should be happy always."

"That's stupid, Haechan. You can't force yourself to be happy if you're not." he laughed.

"But that's the game. You have to agree. If you're sad, you lose." Haechan grinned. "Game?"

"Game." Renjun smiled widely.

"Renjun baby, who are you talking to?" His mom just finished talking on the phone.

"Haechan." he replied. "Say hello to my mom."

"Hello, Mrs. Huang!" Haechan waved at Renjun's mom.

Mrs. Huang confusedly stared at nothing but smiled anyway. "Hi? " She pretended to greet someone next to his son.

~~~

Renjun was 10 when he experienced being sad for the first time.

He sighed while hugging his teddy bear, sitting on his bed as his back was leaning on the headboard.

"Injun-ah!"

He startled and turned to his side, "Don't scare me like that."

"Hey, you lost our game. I told you we should be happy always." Haechan sat beside him in his bed.

"Haechan, that's impossible. Mom said you need to experience sadness." Renjun pouted.

The boy pouted back, "Why are you sad then?"

"Dad left to go abroad." he answered and sighed again. "I don't know when he's coming back home. I miss him already."

"Hey, I'm here, Injun. I'll take care of you."

He looked at him and stared at him. He realized that haechan was very attractive. He wants to touch and feel his face. "Thank you, Haechan." he smiled.

Haechan leaned closer to hug him. Renjun felt relaxed in his arms. He closed his eyes and let himself dozed off to sleep.

"Good night, Injun."

~~~

"Haechan!"

"Yes?" the boy grinned.

"Is there a punishment?"

Haechan creased his forehead, "Punishment, for what?"

"I lost our game, right? What's the punishment?"

Haechan hummed, pretending to think of something. "You have to let me make you happy everyday. Because I don't want you to be sad."

Renjun laughed fondly, "That's sweet, Haechan! Okay, I'll accept the punishment. If you can call it a punishment."

"It's a reward at the same time." Haechan giggled.

When Renjun heard that cute noise coming from the boy in front of him, he felt something.

~~~

Renjun was eleven and he was still friends with haechan.

"Injun-ah! You're home!" Haechan greet him when he came back from school.

Renjun giggled at him, "Yes, i'm home, Haechan."

"Renjun-ah, change your clothes first before we eat, okay? Tell Haechan you can talk later." his mom told him before walking to the kitchen.

He sat on the sofa and Haechan followed him. the latter took off his shoes for him. He smiled.

"Thank you." Haechan only nodded.

He walked to his room and still, Haechan followed him. He closed the door and started removing his polo shirt and shorts, even though he knew Haechan was there.

"You have a nice body, Injun." Haechan suddenly said.

Renjun felt himself blushing, "Thanks."

~~~

"Renjun baby, come here!" Mrs. Huang called him from the sofa while he's studying at his study table.

"Yes, Mom?" He walked over to her and sat on the sofa.

"I want to ask you something, okay? i hope you don't mind." she nervously said, holding his son on his shoulder.

Renjun furrowed his eyebrows slightly, "What is it, Mom?"

"Everyday you're talking to someone named Haechan, right?" Renjun just nodded. "But I wanna know who is this Haechan anyway?"

"He's my friend."

"Friend? Like, an imaginary friend?"

Renjun was confused. What did she mean by that? "No, like, a real friend. I don't understand you, Mom."

"Listen here, baby. I don't see anyone you're talking to. All I see is that you're talking to nothing. It's like you're talking to yourself."

"I... I don't know what you're saying, Mom."

~~~

Renjun was twelve and he was starting to realize something.

"Haechan."

"Hm?" Haechan grinned.

"Are you real?" He sighed.

Haechan furrowed his eyebrows, "What do you mean? Of course, I am."

He shook his head, "No, you're not. Mom said I'm not really talking to someone." he gasped, "Oh my god, Haechan, am I going crazy?"

"No, no, Injun, you're not!" the boy held his shaking hands.

He gripped on Haechan's arm. "If Mom was right, how am I touching you? I don't know if she's lying or I'm just going crazy? I... I don't understand."

Haechan sighed, "Injun, don't be sad."

"Haechan! Please, tell me you're real." Tears starting to flow down his cheeks. "You're real, right?"

The boy wiped his tears away immediately. "Of course, I am real. You made me. You made me in your head, and that makes me real."

"What? You're confusing me! Please, don't play with me, Haechan." He hugged the boy in front of him.

He felt so real. If he made Haechan in his head, how did he feel so freaking real?

"Listen, Injun-ah. Whether I'm real or not, I'm always be by your side. Whenever you're sad, just think of me and you'll be happy again."

Renjun was hugging Haechan for so long, he felt like the latter was starting to fade away. "No, Haechan, don't leave me."

"If you believe I'm real, I will always be with you. I love you, Renjun." And Haechan completely faded away, making Renjun felt light in his body.

"No, Haechan! Please, I love you too. Where are you? Please come back!" He cried and cried that night.

~~~

Today is Renjun's 16th birthday. Visitors are gathered inside their house.

"Hey, Renjun! It's your birthday, why are you sad?" one of his friends, Jaemin, asks.

He sighs, "Nothing, I'm just... missing someone."

"Aww. Who is it?" Jeno, Jaemin's boyfriend, then asks.

He shakes his head, "I don't know, but I feel like I'm missing someone." He sighs once again. "Feel free to eat, guys. I'm going outside for a while for some fresh air."

The couple just nod and let the birthday boy does what he wants.

He said whenever I'm sad, just think of him and I'll be happy again. But why does he make me sadder? I miss him. Even if I just made him in my head when I was a kid, I still miss him.

He's walking at the pavement when he saw a familiar guy on the middle of the road. A honking vehicle is coming on his way.

"Hey! Get out of the road!" Renjun screams but the guy doesn't seem to hear him. His eyes widen when he sees the vehicle is about to hit him so he runs and pushes the guy to the other side of the road.

By the process, he scratches his arms a little and the guy is currently on top of him. The latter realizes what happened and immediately gets off of him.

"I... I'm sorry." the guy apologizes.

Renjun stares at him with wide eyes, "H-haechan?"

The guy raises an eyebrow, "How did you know who I am?"

Renjun bites his lip and slowly stands up from the ground. The guy is still staring at him confusedly.

"Oh... uh, uhm... really?"

The guy rolls his eyes and helps him brush the dust off his clothes. "What's your name?"

"R-renjun. Huang Renjun. B-but you can call me Injun."

"Injun." the guy smiles slightly, "You got a pretty name right there. Just call me Donghyuck or Hyuck. Haechan sounds so bright and cheerful, I don't like it."

Renjun gulps and stares at his face. Donghyuck has tan skin, honey-like skin, bright face, his eyes are the same as Haechan's. He sure thinks Donghyuck looks like Haechan but a bit mature and more good-looking. Haechan's aura is bright and cheerful, however, Donghyuck's is not. He has this gloomy aura. Haechan was yellow and Donghyuck is blue.

"What are you doing on the middle of the road, by the way?" he finally speaks.

"I wanted to kill myself." Donghyuck quickly replies.

"What the heck!" Renjun almost slapped the other's arm but didn't continue.

Donghyuck chuckles, "But then, I realized I'm not ready to die yet." He stares at him gently.

Renjun blushes at the other's stare. He also realized Donghyuck has deeper voice than Haechan. Maybe because when Haechan disappeared, he was the same age as him.

"D-don't do that again. If you die, think about the people who care about you, who love you. How would they feel if you disappear in this world?"

"Are you one of 'em?" The taller boy smirks.

He taken aback and was surprised by the other. "Uhm... yeah, sure."

"You're not sure. It's okay. thank you, by the way. I finally have the reason to not die yet." Donghyuck winks, "See you soon, Injun!"

He just walks away, leaving Renjun having so many emotions mixed because of him. What just happened?

~~~

Renjun is 17 when he saw Donghyuck again.

This time, he promised to himself that he will pay Haechan for what he did to him when he was younger. He's going to make Donghyuck happy everyday.

-

fin.

© snowysung