𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 . . . txt's :: sakura

ONE?!

sakura didn't dare move her hands. beomgyu stuck his tongue out in focus, painting her nails. the nail polish was a light shade of pink, and the bottle was on the edge of the table. despite being laser focused, there was more polish on her fingers than her nails.

she laughed at his attempt, grateful he was at least trying. she was supposed to paint his nails once hers was dry, but he was too indecisive to choose a color just yet. he was still stuck between at least five colors.

"how are you so... bad at this?" she asked, waiting for him to meet her eye. he looked up at her and scowled, "as if you're better than me. if you didn't get new acrylics every week, you would think i'm good." she rolled her eyes, "fuck you." he scoffed.

it felt like hours had passed, yet he had only done one of her hands and was in the middle of her second. she was bored out of her mind, and genuinely confused on how the boy's hand hadn't cramped by now.

he finally finished with a threat, "you better keep these on." she chuckled, "okay, hotshot. go choose a color while these dry." he nodded and got out of his chair, making his way to the bathroom with her nail polish cabinet.

because of how long he took, by the time beomgyu was back with two bottles of white and black polish, her nails had already been dried. silently, she took the tubes from his hand and got to work.

he hummed as he watched her, he noticed that she worked much more delicately than he did. every stroke was planned, careful not to get any on his skin. he smiled.

she finished up, not quickly but much quicker than he did. putting their hands out side by side, the two laughed. they could definitely tell who wasn't so good at painting nails....

TWO?!

beomgyu was not always the happy-go-lucky, mood maker he portrayed himself to be. sometimes he was sad, sometimes he was upset, sometimes he just wished he could disappear. but there was always one thing that kept him going: feeling loved.

despite that, there was always that one lingering thought in the back of his mind. did he deserve that love? he wasn't anything special, just a broken guy who could sing and dance when told to. so who was he to receive all of this? it just didn't make sense.

he sat at the kitchen table. it was still dark out, not a single peek of sunlight shined through the window. he preferred it that way, anyway. he heard a door softly close and footsteps make their way to his room. he identified them as sakura's.

when the pair's conversation began, the plan was definitely not to be venting over breakfast. but that's how it ended up. he didn't know when the conversation went from "how was your sleep?" to "i don't feel like i should be loved."

she tilted her head, "why?" that wasn't the answer he was expecting. still, he answered. "i just... i don't love myself and like, i struggle so much. i don't know how to articulate it, it's just, why should i be loved if i have all these problems? ...you know?"

she breathed in. "it's a lie to think that you don't deserve love just because you aren't able to love yourself, gyu. you deserve love, in all it's many different shapes and forms." he stared at the cereal gone soggy in front of him.

"carrying the weight of your own darkness doesn't make you unworthy of love and the feeling of belonging. it makes you human, it makes you someone who can persevere despite the lies in their head." he didn't answer, only nodding softly.

"you deserve friendships, you deserve care, you deserve relationships that make you feel like the best version of you. relationships where you feel valued,. you deserve to love and be loved, beomgyu. you always will."

THREE?!

"hey, do you like txt?" beomgyu in a disguise asked a random person walking down the street, sakura, also in disguise, stood next to him. the person shook their head no, "um, no, sorry." they awkwardly ran away. the pair looked at each other and frowned: mission failed.

the two were undercover, asking people their opinion on txt. if they did, and one of the two were their bias, they would get $5! if their bias was anyone else, they would still reveal themselves, just no money prize.

"excuse me, one question," sakura called out to someone listening to music. the person took out their headphones and titled their head, "what song are you listening to right now?" they almost immediately responded, "i'm listening to 'dear sputnik' by txt!" the duo made eye contact.

"would you consider yourself a moa?" beomgyu asked, and the person nodded. "who's your bias?" she then followed up with another question. "yeonjun!" the two made eye contact once more. "ah, sorry. you don't get five dollars," beomgyu broke the news. the person made a confused noise.

"but you do get..." sakura trailed off, taking off her disguise as quick as possible, beomgyu doing the same. "sakura and beomgyu from txt!" they said in sync, and the girl shrieked in shock. "oh my god," the person whispered whispered, bowing repeatedly.

the two somehow got out of the conversation, looking for someone else to possibly give money to. "excuse us," beomgyu started, meeting up with yet another person on the street. "do you like txt?" the person immediately responded. "of course i do, i'm seeing their tour on march 25!"

the idols immediately smiled at each other, "who's your bias?" the person thought for a while, "i have two. is that okay?" the pair had a conversation with their eyes for a second, and nodded. "sure." "my biases are sakura and beomgyu."

sakura coughed in shock, "what a coincidence!" the moa looked confused, "what?" the two took of their disguises on cue, "because we're sakura and beomgyu from txt!" fishing for the $5 in her pocket, sakura handed the money to the moa. when she looked up from her hands, the person was gone. beomgyu was laughing his ass of. "they-they fucking ran away!"

FOUR?!

"beomgyu, can you draw something for me? everything works just not anything too weird," she asked the older boy. he looked at her confused, and hesitantly took the paper and pen from her hands. he began to draw, but was still curious as to what she was planning.

"what's this for?" he asked, not looking up from the page. "nothing, i just wanted to compare what everyone draws when i give them that prompt," she lied. little did he know, if he drew something relatively normal, she was going to get it tattooed.

he nodded, "alright," and handed her his finished drawing. it was cute teddy bear holding a heart. "thank you!" she sang, walking off to her room. he didn't think much of it at all. she could only anticipate his reaction.

after a week or so of suspiciously staying in her room as much as possible and when going out covering all parts of her body, the tattoo had finally healed. she decided to put it on her forearm, as it was relatively small.

"gyu? can you come over here for a second?" she called, waiting for his response. when met with silence, she texted him. he responded with a boring, "i'm out but i'll come to you once i'm home." she would just have to wait. the excitement was slowly killing her.

just the sound of the door opening and the loud voices of her members had her jittering in anticipation. seconds later, beomgyu's knock was loud on her door. she ran to open it. he looked at her confused, "why are you looking at me like that?"

"i thought you dyed your hair or did some crazy shit on impulse again, but you look normal right now. what did you do...?" she narrowed her eyes, god he knew her so well. "remember how a week ago i asked you to draw something for me?" he nodded.

she lifted her shirt sleeve, "i got it tattooed." his mouth dropped open in shock, he grabbed her arm to examine it. "what- why'd you get it? oh my god!" he squealed in excitement. "i know why you got it! it's because you just loved my drawing so much, right? i mean, why else?" she rolled her eyes with a loving smile, "whatever helps you sleep at night."

FIVE?!

it wasn't abnormal for the japanese to zone out. she didn't like to call it disassociation, but she was told that she most likely had a form of the disorder. she ignored the fact and continued to let herself go, wonder off to a place far from here.

the older boy made his way to the girl's room, ready to invite her to get another gaming session. controller in hand, he opened the door. he was met with the sight of sakura curled up in bed, staring at nothing in particular.

within seconds he was next to her, not quite sure what to do. he softly shook her shoulder, waiting for any response of hers. he wondered if maybe she was in some sort of dreamland. he prodded at her exposed arm.

giving up, he opted to just lay in bed next to her. it felt morally wrong to just leave her like this. he played offline games on his phone, waiting. his attention quickly switched from the game to the girl. he didn't want to call it 'waking up' but it looked like she just did.

she looked to the side and noticed the boy in her bed. she meekly acknowledged him, "gyu." he frowned, "are you okay?" she shrugged, "i don't know. i just wish i could- never mind, forget it." he frowned once more, "no. tell me."

she sighed, "i just wish i could lay in bed all day and do nothing. not in the sense of laziness, rather i just want the nothingness. this world is too much, i hope you know what i mean." he nodded, "of course i know what you mean. but i think you're brave."

she furrowed her eyebrows, "what's brave about me wanting simply nothingness?" he smiled, "i think it's brave that you get up in the morning even when life is messy and your heart aches, when you feel that everything is just too much." she kept silent.

"i think it's brave that you keep persevering, looking for something, even if you don't know what that is. i think it's brave that everyday you chose to try your best- to move forward. sakura, that's what makes you brave- no, that's what makes you strong."

LANA HAS SOMETHING TO SAY!

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