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This darkness is irresistible, totally overwhelming. Why do I always like darkness this much that my heart hurts with delight?

Is it because my heart itself is pitch black or my soul is darkest in my body?

It always feels like heaven. Pure bliss, a perfect paradise.

But why I feel like I failed again, this time too.

I feel my eyes gradually opened when a fucking bright light falls straight on my eyes making me blind.

Hate this.

I hate this freaking strong radiant light. I hate every single thing which is bright, I feel like puking on it.

Eyes flooded with tears of disappointment as I lazily stand up on my aching feet.

I looked at my shivering hands, they are bandaged.

"Fucking bitch!" I cursed with my hoarse voice. My throat hurts like hell.

Oh yes, welcome to hell again, Sun. You are back again in this living hell because you failed.

You fucking FAILED AGAIN!

I wanted to pull all my hair out in frustration. Why? Why am I suffering this much? Why do I have to suffer like I bitch I am? Why? Fucking why?

I have no future...nothing at all. Why am I even living?

I heaved a heavy unhappy sigh and pushed my feet to move ahead. I grab the cold water bottle. The coldness of the bottle blasts like an electric current in me.

My body was totally hot from sleeping and the sudden chilled sensation gives me jolts and shivers.

Do I care? Of course not!

I take the bottle out for drinking. After opening the cap of the bottle slowly, I attached my pink lips to the bottle and started gulping.

My throat burns like fire. But I didn't stop.

If it didn't happen that way, why not this.

When I was at my fifth gulp, the bottle gets snatched from my hands and was thrown to the other side of the wall, resulting in splashing all the water on the side.

I didn't even wince.

The person screamed. "How many times, huh!? How many times I have to tell you this is dangerous for your health?"

I rolled my eyes, my gaze carelessly dropping on the water bottle as I stepped forward to clean the shit.

"I asked something to you!" He yelled, at last, the voice breaks. "I was s-so worried about you. You always do this to m-me."

Fed up.

That's what I am right now with this soul.

Did I ask you to care for me? Did I?

No!! So keep it to yourself.

I wanted to scream and let this out. But...but sometimes I get to the point of frustration that I just become silent.

"I know you d-don't even want to see me. But what I can do with my poor h-heart. It...it always comes b-back to you. Even you stab it hundreds of times." His eyes blurred with tears, voice breaks now and then as he jabs his own finger repeatedly on his chest.

My teeth gritted in anger, the fire bubble out in my blood as if coming straight to my lips in the forms of harsh and bitter words.

'There's a difference between "giving up" and not wanting to take "someone's shit" anymore.' My mind barks at me, annoyingly.

"You k-know why I am like this..but you..." He said, but I screamed, yelling out every word.

"DO YOU THINK I CARE? NO! I WILL TELL YOU THIS AGAIN AND OUT LOUD! I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU, MIN YOONGI!!" My heart beats fast as ever.

"I know you don't. Then why does it hurts? Please let me know!" Yoongi gulps audibly as be begged with doe eyes.

"I don't fucking know anything about you and your freaking heart." I head out from this place, my skull pounds from screaming.

Strength was like losing rapidly from my body. My eyes danced for a second, resulting in wobbly legs. But I regained my posture in seconds.

I am perfect at this.

Hiding my vulnerabilities. And my weak self.

"I will not permit you to leave my house, Sun." A pair of hands caged me in them, stopping me from leaving.

I irritatingly wanted to break through the cell of his arms but nothing happens. I was far weaker than his tight steel hold.

"Sleep well my Chipmunk. I know you are exhausted from earlier." He sweetly talks as I feel no strength left in my body, in a flash.

Every single day this happens. I always lose my strength at this point because of not eating properly.

"As always when you open your eyes, the food will be near your bed. Take a nap. Your body needs rest." He shushed me when I wanted to blabber something to him in dizziness.

My eyes were a second before dropping and going to deep slumber when I feel myself lifting in the air in the warm embrace. My head was resting on a warm but tight chest.

Why?

Why he is so nice? I don't want you to be nice.

Please just go away!

I don't wanted to shout at him that time, but I can't help it. It's because I can't risk it.

I can't risk one more life. I can't take a chance.

Please stay away, Yoongi!

Far from me and my shadow.

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