The place was empty, the more I walked the more life I could see. Life without any people, but rather fairy lights.

The decorations were my guide to my destination. I walked and walked until I spotted a small circular table with a white cloth. Many floating candles were around the place, with dozens of rose petals covering the table.

I walked to the table until it was one foot away from me and examined for any sign of a person, Draco perhaps.

Behind me, I felt a sudden gush of presence and arms around my waist, and someone placing a gentle peck on my shoulder. 

"You wore it," Draco spoke, a stronger scent than usual intoxicated my nostrils.

I turned around to see him in a suit, that matched with the night sky. He was wearing entirely black. Pitch Black. 

A black button-up shirt with the first two buttons open, a black coat covering his shoulder, and black pants. It gave a heavy emphasis on his white hair.

"Why'd you call me here?" I inquired, analyzing the decorations once again.

"Well," he spoke, staring intensely into my gaze. "You didn't like my previous apology, so I thought I'd try to put effort into apologizing this time."

I felt my heart flutter. All done for me. 

I love him so much.

"I apologize for the way I treated you, Emerlyn. I know you've been mad at me, and I want you to let go of it."

I looked into his grey eyes.

"I was never mad at you, Draco."

This sentence had seemed to relieve Draco, and in return, he slipped a hand across my waist, my hands traveling on his chest till his shoulders and then we locked lips. It had been a while since we had come this close to affection.

I loved it, I loved every moment of it. He smiled against my lips and I turned the kiss into something more passionate. My fingers explored the roots of his light hair, then his neck, and then his hair again. 

                                                                             ---------

"Do you forgive me?"

From looking into his gaze, I glued my eyes to the floor. "Yes, I do"

"Your hair," he commented. "When we got married it was the height of your shoulders, now it's almost till your hips."

"I haven't cut it in a while..." 

"Don't, you look gorgeous with long hair."

                                                                        -----------

It was a heated night. 

I had let myself slip and engaged in intercourse with Draco. I felt fine after; no pain, no bleeding, no anything.

But I felt so disgusting.

Every day I'd wake up, I'd remember there was a small thing inside of me. Soon, it'd be obvious before that time would occur I would be done with it. 

I am so disgusting. I faced myself in the mirror. Everything about pregnancy was horrendous. 

                                                            ---------------

The grey eyes of Atlas gazed into my hazel eyes. The baby kicked its legs toward my lap but I just stared at him blankly.

"Do you want to hold him?" Nympohora asked. 

"Oh--sure," I replied, slightly shaking my head, and hurried the baby into my arms. "How..old is he?"

"Five months," she answered, shuffling through a black bag with her equipment.

The tiny baby began letting out sounds that seemed like giggles. His small arm reached for the hair beside my ear. 

"Be careful, if he gets a grip of your hair, he won't let go."

I imagined him to be my son. I know it sounded absurd, but I just wanted to desperately feel the feeling of being a mother, what it was like. I imagined him to be mine, but I just couldn't.

I can't do it.

"Can I ask you a question, Nymphodora?"

"Maybe Draco didn't tell you, but I preferred to be called Tonks, and yes you can ask me your question."

"Sorry--Nym-Tonks." I paused, cringing at myself for messing up. "When you found out you were pregnant--did- what did you feel?"

"Well, this is my second son, and this pregnancy was a lot smoother than my first one." she came to a halt, gathering her words. "For the first trimester-- which is by far the worst one-- it was horrific but as the pregnancy progressed it got a lot better."

"How did you tell the father about the pregnancy?"

Tonks broke eye contact and stopped leaning on the bag. "I'd rather not talk about it, he's no longer in the picture."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

                                                                  -------------

"You still aren't qualified for an abortion yet, any abortion-related pills." The nurse stated holding what seemed to be a clipboard.

"I've been doing everything you said?"

"I'm reminding you once again." She placed her clipboard on the counter beside her. "Your body will not be able to handle this, due to your regular bleeding."

"You haven't even told me why I use to bleed? How do you expect me to believe you? You could just be someone who believes in pro-life and is attempting to stop me from an abortion!"

I knew my statement was ridiculous, but why was I seriously stopped from having an abortion because of bleeding?

"Emerlyn." She sighed. "Please be patient. First, there is no magical potion created that kills a fetus inside a uterus, and second, the only techniques we really have are copied from the muggles which aren't very efficient."

I couldn't argue back, it was just my vulnerability crying.

"So..when am I safe to get an abortion."

"Right now you are roughly at 6 weeks, by week 15 you'll be in the safer zone."

"When does a bump show?"

"You won't have to worry, a bump starts becoming noticeable by around week 16."

"Okay..." I replied weakly. 

                                                              ------------------- 

"Where were you, darling?" Draco inquired as I re-entered the Malfoy Manor.

I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I want to do both. I looked into his sapphire eyes thinking of my next lie.

"I went to take a walk.." I couldn't seem to swallow this lie.

"Sometimes, you disappear out of thin air--it makes me a bit--worried," Draco said, his eyes on the ground. "I don't want to stop you from going anywhere, but please inform me first."

"Sorry--" I apologized. "I'll do so next time."

--------------

I felt incredibly dizzy.

I was surrounded by the same cats I had met during Chrismtas. 

"Why didn't Teddy come?" Narcissa who was near me inquired Andromeda. 

"He's quite ill right now," Andromeda replied. "He wanted to come over as he can't stay without his mum but...we had to leave him with the nanny."

"How old is he now?"

"Turned two last week."

Penelope, the cat that showed extra affection to Draco stood in front of me. She didn't make a single noise yet calmy inspected me with killer eyes. Soon, Draco joined my company and sat beside holding Penelope in his lap.

He sighed. "I miss playing with these cats," 

"Can I ask you something Draco?"

"Go on, darling." He answered half of his attention was diverted to playing with the cats.

"Are you sure you don't want to have any children?"

All of his attention was on me now.

I've screwed up. I've screwed up. I've screwed up. I've screwed up. I've screwed up. I've screwed up. I've screwed up. I've screwed up. I've screwed up. I've screwed up. I've screwed up. I've screwed up. I've screwed up.

He had paused for a second but after a moment or so made himself comfortable by placing his head on my lap. His eyes faced mine and he had a slight smile.

"Are you going through a baby fever right now?" He teased as a small laugh followed after him.

I think I hate children now.

"No..I'm serious Draco."

"I'm serious too," he said. "Look Tonks did tell me you were asking some strangely specific questions about pregnancy---which is making me believe you want to be a mother-"

"NO!" I pushed him off my lap, my hands trembling. It was now I realized the chitchatting of the two women behind me had stopped.

I gathered myself. "I didn't mean to.."

"Emerlyn.." Draco paused. "I..I was just teasing..." his voice was low. I felt sick. I felt something twisting inside of me. I felt nauseous. I felt everything opposite of healthy.

"I'm sorry Draco." I came to a halt gathering my next words. I looked around and realized my words had even startled the poor cats who had run away by now.

"It's fine I suppose." He moved closer to me once again. "Please don't tell me, you're going to push me off once again."

I began toying with his hair. "No, I won't...but can you seriously answer a question of mine?"

"Go forth." He faced the ceiling. 

"If you had a daughter what would you name her?"

He took a noticeable breath, I wasn't sure if it was because of annoyance. "Amelia, that's a cute name."

"And for a son?" 

"Hmmmm.." he thought for a long second. "Scorpius."

I let out a silent gag. "What? Something wrong with that?" 

"Everything is wrong with that name."

"Oh really?" he said. "Then you tell me a suitable name."

"Emery." 

He mocked my movement and let out a silent gag exactly what I had done seconds ago. 

"Whatever it's not like we're actually having a son." I rolled my eyes. Deep inside there was a strong pile of guilt. A dead baby in my womb seemed more desirable now.

"Oh Draco, there you are." A masculine, deep voice spoke in the midst of my conversation with Draco. 

Draco who was well comfortable in my lap sat up half-startled, half-conflicted, and faced the direction of the voice. It was Lucius. 

"Father," Draco stood up and I did too. "I..wasn't aware you were looking for me."

I narrowed my eyes as I dangerously examined Lucius. This time I had my wand ready with me.