This is inspired by Hate Me by Eurielle.

I feel like I should warn that this chapter includes depression. Does not include self harm but the idea of it.

Jimin and Y/n have been together for a long time now. Since highschool and all through his career. She's been there for him for everything. For every laugh and every tear. Every win and every loss. He can't imagine life without her and he's been so grateful for her support.

He wants to be there for her through everything just like she has for him but she won't let him. She won't show him the darker parts of her mind that he knows are there. He can see it in her eyes and he can feel it in her smile. The light isn't all there.

He tries to talk to her about it but she always brushes it off with a smile. "I'm fine." She says. He lets it drop for now but he won't let it go. He can tell she isn't actually fine. All he can do for now is just watch over her and be there for her.

He watches her and he notices something. She carries a pen around with her, clicking it every so often if she's bored. He noticed she had a few pen lines on the inside of her wrist. New lines will show up here and there over a few days. To other people it just looks like regular pen marks. He knows what they actually are.

In Y/n's mind it's a surrogate for what she wants to do but can't. She can't bring herself to do it. She just can't. So she makes the pen glide roughly on her skin, leaving a slight stinging behind that feels a bit good. She looks at it a bit closer after a particularly hard mark. There's a small scratch from the pen.

She spends some time with her family. She doesn't try to hide the pen marks. She doesn't expect them to know what they mean and she's right. They don't.

They ask, "Did you draw on yourself?" "Are you trying to count?" She doesn't answer and she hides how it hurts. They don't see it. She says she's fine no matter what happens. Even if she accidentally hurts herself she says, "I'm fine." and ignores the pain. She doesn't understand why she constantly hides her pain. She knows part is because she doesn't want people to worry.

Jimin worries no matter what she says. He loves her too much not to. He sees the pen marks and he knows they're the cuts she can't do. He sees they're the symbol of her pain inside that she tries to bury.

He goes to her house without her knowing. He has a key she gave him so he doesn't have to knock. He goes in and everything is dark. He hears faint music coming from her room. As he walks to her room the music gets louder until it drowns out his own thoughts. He knows that's why she had it so loud.

She's asleep on her bed, a pen in her hand, a few more marks on her arm. He looks closer and he sees she's drawn something on her arm.

From his point of view it says 'I'm fine' but he knows if he sees it from her side it says 'save me'. His heart breaks a little for her. He looks around her room a bit. He hasn't been in here for a while. She's printed a few things and taped them on to the wall where her bed is.

Jimin sighs. He turns down the music to where it's background noise and sits on her bed. He gently shakes her and calls her name.

"Y/n. Y/n. Wake up babe." He says.

She groans as she opens her eyes. "Jimin? What are you doing here?" She sits up and rubs her eyes.

"I need to talk to you. Or more like you need to talk to me."

"About what?"

"About this." He holds up her hand to show the marks. "And these." He gestures to the pictures.

She pulled her hand back and looked away from him. "What about it."

"I know what the pen marks mean. I know they're not just pointless doodles. But I want you to tell me what they are."

"Why? I'm fine Jimin."

"No you're not. I can see you're not Y/n. Just let me in. Please."

"What do you want? You want me to tell you that I can't stand myself sometimes? That no matter how much I know I'm loved I don't feel it all of the time? Why do you want to hear this? What do you want?" Her voice held so much sadness and pain and anger. She keeps it bottled in so much that's it's slowly over flowing. She needs to release it and he thinks he knows how she can.

"I want you to hate me."

"What?"

"Hate me. Take whatever you feel and put it on me. Let me feel as hurt as you." He gripped her arms and slightly shook her. "Break me down! Push me! Crush me under your foot! I don't care what you do to me just let it out!"

Her face turned red and her eyes glazed with tears and she screamed. It was a pure primal scream of emotion. She pushed against him and he held her. Tears fell from her eyes as she let out everything she had. Tears formed in his eyes as he witnessed this. They were tears of sadness and relief.

After a few minutes her screams turned into small whimpers and she clung to him for dear life. He knew that she was done for now. She had let out everything she's bottled up for a while now. He knew she wasn't fixed but it was a start.

She pulled away from him a bit and wiped his cheeks. "Why did you have me do that? I hit you really hard."

He shrugged. "You needed it. And I knew no matter what you'd save me in the end."

"Save you?"

"By letting me in and not letting me go. By not letting us go."

"I never will. I promise."

A/n

So that was something. I just felt like I needed to write this you know? As a sort of self therapy for now. Some of what Y/n did was based off of personal experience. Like the whole thing with the pen. It was during some of my dark days. What happened fit with the song and the idea I had for this imagine so I put it together. Anyways thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. I love you 💜