Chapter 11) Feelings Of Guilt & Regret

I waited a few hours for Brianna to arrive and I insisted on taking a nap until her arrival. While I lied down on the bed after doing my daily routine of cleaning and doing the laundry, I closed my eyes and thought about these past two months regarding my outlook about professional wrestling after I met Joe, Jon, and especially Colby.

After thirty-minutes of daydreaming, I drifted off to sleep. Though my nap didn't last for long as I heard my door being knocked on repeatedly. I walked downstairs and answered the door to seeing Brianna in a cheerful mood.

"What's got you so excited?" I asked.

"Jon said that WWE will be back in Los Angeles soon!"

"I know." I grinned. "Colby told me."

"Hey Katie, I need to ask you something actually."

"What is it, Bri?"

We walked inside of the house and she looked at me with a look of concern written all over her face.

"Do you remember that little talk that we had together before we searched for Colby?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well, have you discussed your feelings towards him already?"

"Yeah and I told him he's better off finding another woman in the wrestling business." I sighed, "And not some non-famous woman like me who can't wrestle and works at an O'Charley's restaurant."

Brianna looked at me with frustration.

"Katie. What did Jon and I tell you?" She asked, sternly.

"I know, I know. I don't want to talk about it. Please?"

"Fine. Where do you want to go?"

"I actually want to visit the mall and pick out some new outfits. My wardrobe needs some retouching."

"What are we waiting for?"

Brianna grabbed my wrist and stormed out of the house. She drove us to the mall that was only ten-minutes away from my house and we had a long shopping day ahead of us.

Colby
After tonight's show, we went to the gym to get a small workout in. However, I wanted to grab a drink with Joe and Jon before we headed over to our hotels for the night.

"Joe, want to come over to the bar with Jon and I?" I asked.

"Nah, I'm good." Joe said while lifting some weights.

"Are you sure, man?"

"I'm sure, Colby. I have to call Galina and Joelle later."

"Man, you're no fun." Jon said.

"I mean, I have responsibilities. I'm a father and a husband to the most beautiful woman on this planet."

I looked down at the ground while adjusting my hands inside of my pockets through my jeans and stayed silent, wishing I could say the same about Katherine.

"Hey man, what's wrong?" Joe asked.

"He's in love." Jon said, spilling the beans.

"Love, huh?" Joe looked at me with a smile. "So, my little brother's in love?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and continued to look down at the ground in frustration.

"To be honest, I really love this girl. In fact, I actually met her at Raw back in Los Angeles and her name is Katherine." I said.

"Oh, I remember her." Joe chuckled. "I actually bumped into her after the show and I had to escort her to the room where the superstars were meeting the fans because she was lost backstage. Surprisingly, it was just her and another woman and no other fans anywhere in sight."

"That other woman is Brianna..." Jon added.

I cut him off. "Jon, can I speak with Joe alone?"

"Sure, I guess."

I took Joe to a private side of the gym and started scratching the back of my head, nervously.

"What's up, Colby?" Joe asked.

"You know how I just said that I love Katherine?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I want her to be my girlfriend. But the problem is that she doesn't want a relationship." I frowned.

"Why not?"

"It's complicated." I sighed. "Katherine had a very abusive relationship with the last guy she was with and she told me an entire story that broke my heart into pieces. I'm not allowed to tell you about it unless she tells you herself; because I made a promise to keep it between us. However, Katherine's scared of loving another man because of the past and I don't know how I can convince her to give me a chance. I'm nothing like the last person she was with, Joe."

Joe proceeded to listen to my concerns while adjusting his hair, putting it into a low bun.

"Well Colby, have you talked to her about your feelings and whatnot?"

I nodded, "Yes, I have."

"Look, I understand that Katie must've been in a terrible and abusive relationship in the past and all, but has she actually unveiled her feelings towards you?"

"Yeah." I replied, "Katherine actually feels the same way for me."

"Then why doesn't she give the relationship a chance between you both if the feelings mutual?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Because of her past abusive relationship. It traumatized her and she's afraid I'll become her ex-boyfriend one day. He was a sorry excuse of a human being."

"Look Colby. I'm no relationship counselor but since we're having another Raw taking place in Los Angeles here in a couple of months, I feel like you and Katherine need to take things slow until she feels confident to be in another relationship again. It'll take some time, but I feel like things might take off over a small course of time. Take her out to dinner after the show, do the things that she wants to do with you, and I'm sure things will work out between you both."

"Thanks man. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"No problem, little brother. I actually need to call my wife and my daughter right now and check-in with them. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Joe walked away, taking his phone out of his pocket and called his wife as he left with his duffel bag around his shoulder. Joe had something that I wish I could have and that's a woman to love such as Katherine.

After Joe left from the gym, I walked back to meet with Jon while he was listening to some music and doing some pull-ups.

"Jon!" I shouted to get his attention.

"What?"

"Wanna go to the bar together? Joe just left to talk to Galina and Joelle and I need to get my mind off of things."

"Sure. I'm always down to have a beer once in awhile."

We left the gym together and drove over to the bar that was only one mile away. When we made it to the bar, I ordered two glasses of beer and Jon ordered the same as we sat down on the barstools and waited for our drinks to be served by the bartender.

"Jon, I really wish that Katherine would give me a chance." I said, feeling depressed.

"Don't think about it right now."

"Alright, alright." I allowed a small sigh to escape from my mouth while the bartender handed us our drinks.

"Tell me something, Colby. What did you and Joe talk about?" Jon asked.

"Advice about Katherine."

"I really hope you didn't go back on your promise and told Joe about her past."

After taking my first sip of beer, I looked over at Jon with my eyes furrowed in annoyance.

"How do you know about that?" I asked, sternly.

"Look man, when you stormed out of her house, she told me about it; and so did Brianna. I also made a promise to never tell a soul either."

"Alright." I sat the glass back onto the table. "I thought you overheard our conversation or something."

"I wouldn't do that, man."

An hour later, Jon started feeling drunk for the first time and I watched as he slumped over on the table whilst talking a bunch of nonsense. Suddenly, I started feeling buzzed after drinking a couple of beers.

However, I heard a soft voice emerge next to me while Jon and I were on the verge of becoming completely drunk.

"Hey, cutie."

"Cutie?" I said in confusion.

"Wanna go back to my hotel and we can have some fun?" The woman asked in a seductive tone of voice.

"Look lady, I already love someone. I have no interest in what you're planning." I said, rejecting her, "I know women like you."

"Leave him alone! He already has a woman that he's currently seeing." Jon said in a slurred voice.

A few minutes later, I started losing my focus and became unaware of my surroundings. I could feel the effects of the alcohol taking over my brain. My eyes began to look blurry and I kept stumbling over when I tried to walk; even my speaking was slurred.

Then I blacked out. After a few hours had passed, I woke up and started feeling the massive hangover that was overcoming me. Unfortunately, I ran towards a nearby bathroom and vomited inside of the toilet. After I started to become fully conscious of my surroundings, I began to realize that this wasn't the toilet that belonged to a bar. If anything, it looked as if it belonged to a hotel.

After flushing the toilet, I looked down and realized that I was completely naked and I started feeling nothing but guilt and remorse immediately. I was terrified that I ended up sleeping with another woman. I couldn't remember anything after becoming drunk earlier and all I could remember was blacking out after rejecting a woman.

"No! No! No!" I repeated loudly while pulling my hair in frustration.

"What's the problem?" A woman had said, sounding familiar from the bar.

I looked at the same woman that invited me into her hotel before I became completely drunk and realized she brought me back to her hotel; knowing I was vulnerable and not aware of my surroundings.

"Listen, please tell me we didn't have sex!"

She looked at me with a curved smile on her face.

"We did."

"What the fuck? You can't be serious!" I shouted.

"Why are you so mad? You couldn't resist me."

"Why am I mad, you ask?" I got in her face. "I made it very clear that I loved someone and you took advantage of me, you fucking whore!"

"Even I was drunk at the time!" She said, playing the victim, "You know how it is...Getting drunk and then becoming completely incapacitated all at once!"

"Bullshit!" I shouted again in her face. "I need to get the fuck out of here. You're a fucking bitch who used me when I specifically told you I wasn't interested!"

I threw on my clothes and stormed out of the hotel without saying another word to the woman. I made my way back to the bar to seeing Jon asleep while sitting on the barstool with vomit on the floor. The sight alone was disgusting.

"Jon, wake up." I said, moving his shoulder back and forth until he opened his eyes.

He leaned up and began rubbing his eyes and groaning, running his fingers through his light brown, shaggy hair.

"What?" He looked down to seeing his vomit on the floor and looked back at me. "Did I get drunk or something?"

"Yeah, you did." I replied. "Which is shocking because you hardly ever get drunk."

"Fuck." Jon groaned. "I never thought I'd see the day where I actually got drunk."

"We gotta head back to our hotel and prepare for the house show in a couple of days, Jon." I said, sighing.

"What's got you all upset?" He asked.

"It's nothing, alright?"

Jon looked over at me and just replied with a simple nod. We cleaned ourselves up and drove back to our hotel for the day to prepare.
 
...Although I was still frustrated with myself for everything that transpired last night.

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